Darcy's Temptation (48 page)

As if Edward could hear her thoughts, he asked, “Are we back to your relationship with Elizabeth?”

Darcy shook his head in the negative, but he offered no verbal response. He crossed back to his desk, taking the drink with him. “Entangled webs,” he laughed lightly. “Men take mistresses, looking for pleasures to quench their desires.” Darcy shook his head in disbelief. “I should think a man in such a position should send his wife away, legally claiming the child as his own.A small manor house would serve her well, more than
she deserves under the circumstances. After the child is born, any gentleman in such a position should seek a divorce.”

Elizabeth's worst fears grew with her husband's words. Darcy planned to terminate their relationship; he would claim their child and send her away once the child was born. Her heart stood still, and she ached with a pain unlike any other. She could hear no more and hurried away to find solace in her rooms.

“You are very harsh in your estimation, Fitz,” Edward gave him.

“A man should not take his marriage vows so lightly.” Darcy looked uncomfortable. “Even if he does not marry for love, a gentleman should treat his wife with more respect.”

Edward grinned shamefacedly. “And if he is lucky enough to marry for love?”

“The man is blessed if he can take his pleasures in a woman who returns his desires with those of her own.” Darcy again got a silly smile on his face as he remembered Elizabeth touching him with a heat he could not describe.

“I must wait a few more months to have such knowledge,” Edward said as he got up to leave, “but I do so look forward to it.”

Darcy followed his cousin from the room. “A blessing is worth the wait, Edward—worth the wait.”

 

Elizabeth forced herself to pretend ignorance regarding her husband's plans for their marriage.The realization of the loss of Darcy's regard devastated her, but she would not let the rest of the household see her hurt. Until Darcy ordered her to leave, Elizabeth would maintain her role as the Mistress of Pemberley. She determined Darcy would wait until the birth of their child before demanding her parting. As she had not officially greeted Colonel Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth sought him out, finding him in the music room with Georgiana, who quickly excused herself to join Kitty on a walk with Mr.Ashford.

“Come, Colonel,” Elizabeth said with a false happiness instilled in her words,“it has been a long time since you turned the pages for me as I play.”

“Since Hunsford.”The colonel moved to sit by her on the bench.

“Will Mozart be acceptable, Sir?” Elizabeth smiled at him, trying to seem calm.

Edward spread the music in front of her. “Your company is preferable to the Mozart, Mrs. Darcy.”

Elizabeth laughed nervously. “That is wise, Sir, considering my fingers do not do Mozart justice.”

“You always claimed a lack of accomplishment, but you greatly undervalued your talents, Elizabeth.” Edward reached over to turn the page for her.

Uncharacteristically, Elizabeth spoke softly and without confidence. “I would give anything to go back to Hunsford and know what I know now.”

Edward looked at her, surprised by the sudden shift in her mood. “Would you have accepted my cousin then?” Edward mused.

Elizabeth suddenly stopped playing and turned to him with tear-filled eyes. “I would marry Fitzwilliam immediately, then my time with my Husband would have been longer. . . .” Her voice trailed off.

Edward spoke cautiously, “Would you truly risk it all again knowing what you know now?”

“I would,” she whispered.

“Then you still love him despite what comes between you?” Edward wanted to assess the situation.

Elizabeth bit her lower lip, trying to hold back the tears. “Most ardently,” she gasped.

Edward asked at last,“Yet, you understand my cousin's wishes?”

Elizabeth looked away, unable to respond with the hurt building inside her.“I am well aware of Mr. Darcy's plans for our
future.” She dabbed her eyes with a delicate lace handkerchief.

“Then may I ask, Elizabeth, why you did not respond to your husband? Does he not deserve to know how you feel?”

“Oh, Edward, I cannot,” she wailed. “I want
my
Fitzwilliam back.”

“
Your
Fitzwilliam may never return. Can you not accept what this man—this Fitzwilliam wishes? Darcy is very serious about what he expects from you.The man was born serious.” Edward tried unsuccessfully to lighten the mood. “He was left with too much responsibility at too young of an age—raising Georgiana at such a delicate time in her life played heavy on your husband. His responsibilities are great for such a young man, and Darcy is a bit selfish in his dealings with others. He never had to take second place.”

Edward meant to give Elizabeth comfort—to tell her Darcy was determined to make their marriage work, but the woman's emotions heard a different story. Elizabeth heard Darcy's cousin and friend say her husband was determined to have things his way, and she must succumb to Darcy's wants.Women in England had no legal rights; she lived at her husband's whim. Without him, she had nothing; ironically, with Darcy, Elizabeth would still have nothing.

Jane Austen,
Emma
, 1815

On Monday morning, Darcy and Georgiana prepared to board his chaise and four to leave for London.The colonel departed on Sunday, having to report to his commanding officer by late afternoon on Monday.“I will miss you, Elizabeth.” Georgiana hugged her sister for the third time.“You will write to me often?”

“We will keep the post busy, my Sweet One.” Elizabeth caressed Georgiana's face and kissed the girl's cheek lightly.

Darcy stood by the coach's door, waiting patiently for his sister to say her goodbyes. He wanted Elizabeth to caress his face—to embrace him; yet, she withheld her attentions to him.

“I will tell you all about my
endeavors
,” Georgiana said nervously.

“Kitty and I will live vicariously through your letters so leave out no details.” Elizabeth offered Georgiana her best smile.“Now, you must go; your brother waits patiently.”

Elizabeth allowed her eyes to drift to where Darcy stood; his serious gaze encompassed her, making her shiver uncomfortably. She stepped past Georgiana, who now hugged Kitty, to speak to her husband.“Be safe, Sir,” she said softly.

“I will keep you informed of Georgiana's triumphs,” Darcy offered, although these were not the words he wanted to say to his wife at this time.

“Between the two of you, I will feel as if I am there with you.” Elizabeth meant her words to have a double meaning and serve as a cut.

Darcy winched, and she took some pleasure in knowing he felt the pain of her words. He steadied his voice before saying, “Please take care of yourself and our child.”

“I will protect the heir to Pemberley, Sir; you may be assured of that fact.” Elizabeth looked away; the realization of his concern for her lay in her ability to deliver a healthy child.

“We will return before your lying in,” Darcy told her, trying to assure Elizabeth he had no plans to abandon her.

Yet, Elizabeth thought about what would happen to her after delivering the child. Instinctively, she rested her hand on her abdomen.“I love this child, Fitzwilliam,” she mumbled, not sure what she wanted him to know.

“We must leave,” he said at last, knowing he could not walk away from Elizabeth if he delayed any longer. Darcy took Elizabeth's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it and then pulling it to his face to feel her skin against his.

Elizabeth watched as he closed his eyes to savor the moment, and her body betrayed her vulnerability to Darcy because she impulsively moved in closer to him.“Fitzwilliam,” the word sounded like a plea.

Darcy's eyes flew open at the sound of desire in her voice. This was the stuff of which his dreams were made.The connection between them existed on a higher level, and he would come back to Elizabeth and love her forever. “Soon,” he whispered, “I will return soon.” He reached out and touched her face, tracing her lips with his fingers, and then he turned, climbed in the coach, and took his leave without ever looking back.

 

Elizabeth fell into a pattern: taking breakfast alone, making visits to tenants, addressing estate business, dining with Kitty and Mr. Ashford, and crying herself to sleep each evening.
Some days she broke the “program” by addressing a letter to Darcy or Georgiana. To his sister, Elizabeth sent news of the tenants, the birth of several new children in Lambton, her plans for the conservatory, the changing weather, new music she learned, and anecdotes about catching Kitty and Mr. Ashford sharing loving embraces. To Darcy, Elizabeth sent information regarding estate business. She did not wish to purposely hurt Darcy, but she could not let the feeling of “dread” escape into her letters to him.

Elizabeth read the letter carefully, especially the part about Cecelia McFarland. A jealous rage went through her. If the
woman reminded Georgiana of Caroline Bingley, Elizabeth worried whether Miss McFarland might be her replacement at Pemberley. Obviously, Miss McFarland would make a better mate for her husband than Elizabeth, but she could never imagine why the man she loved would even consider such a woman.

Her husband's letter offered a more sterile version of the events and had less emphasis on the company they kept and more emphasis on his sister's apparent growing apprehension. Elizabeth answered them both politely but with little enthusiasm. Her life was a façade. She wrote polite letters to a husband who planned to divorce her and take her child and to a girl she cherished as her family but who would soon be forbidden to see her.The irony of it was not lost on Elizabeth.