Daring Dooz (The Implosion Trilogy (Book 2)) (30 page)

Chapter 73

The caiman had a wonderful time, five unconscious men, hitting the water
at the same time. The unrelenting violence of the feeding frenzy was, as
everyone on the pier agreed, no more than Pango and his cohorts deserved.

Hamish and the village darts team came out of the undergrowth with their
blowpipes raised. There was much hugging and slapping of backs, and Digby was
carried shoulder high. This was a bit worrying as the pier could not, by any stretch
of the imagination, be called structurally sound, and the piranhas were still
busy finishing off what the caimans had spat out in disgust.

The cheering was ear splitting, but, suddenly, everyone became aware of
an even louder sound, a majestic roar which echoed around the riverbanks, causing
thousands of multi-coloured birds to take flight. This was a roar which no one
on the pier had ever heard before, and would be unlikely to hear, ever again.

They all looked in one direction, towards the bend in the river, where
they we treated to an incredible sight.

First came the Catalina, with Mrs Hathaway in her yellow polka-dot bikini
sitting astride the forward cockpit, holding her M16 high above her head. She
was backlit with incredible flashes of sheet lightning, which seemed to appear from
nowhere. What a fantastic image. The cat was ready to pounce!

Then, in her wake, came the unbelievable Hawaii Mars in
its full US Navy livery
-
a phenomenal, awe-inspiring backdrop – 200-foot wingspan and four gigantic
turboprops
.

The
threat of a storm disappeared as quickly as it had started, and twenty or so
dinghies poured out of the Hawaii Mars, full of cheering Daring Doozers. Mrs
Hathaway leapt into a passing dinghy and landed on top of Giles, who
immediately thought the attack had kicked off. The other Daring Doozers in the
dinghy gave her high fives and started asking for autographs.

Jim was
as amazed as anyone by the sight of the two flying boats. He turned to Mick.

‘Pity we
can't get some footage.’

He
stopped. Mick was videoing away using a small handycam.

‘Had it
up my shirt all the time. Digital HD quality. Good sound too.’

‘Just
remember,’ said Jim, with a smile. ‘Nobody likes a smart arse.’

Mick
continued shooting while Jim and Digby, moved everyone back off the pier. No
need to give the caimans second helpings. The Daring Doozers came running
ashore. The villagers, who had no idea who they were, or why they were there, greeted
them with lots jiggling about and welcoming noises.

Mrs
Hathaway, Jim and Mick exchanged hugs and explanations. She then went over and
said hello to Digby. If there had been a big bell in that part of the Amazon,
it would have gone clang. For the third time in as many months, Digby fell totally
and instantly in love with Mrs H.
She had an aura of perfection - something he’d never seen before. Something
he’d never even dreamt of before. She was his perfect woman. She was absolutely
incredible. Though he
did
wonder how
she knew his name.

Mick and Jim explained the
Charlie connection to Mrs Hathaway and Giles, so all the loose ends were nice
and tidy, which is just how Mrs Hathaway liked it.

During
their flight up the Amazon, the Daring Doozers had written a song, and, without
prompting, they sang it to the villagers and anyone else within earshot. And
you would have to be a long, long way away not to have been within earshot.

It was
really a rap with a bit of a tune. Imagine a cross between
Ghostbusters
and
Land of
Hope and Glory,
with big chunks missing.

We are - Daring Doozuz

Winerz - not loozuz

We save - Talluluz

We are - so cooluz

Want some? - then
choozuz

Action? - then use-uz

We dooz the dares - when
no one else cairz

Oo - oo - oozers (clap)
Daring (clap) Doozers. Yeah!

Giles
fully expected the performance to be greeted with a hail of rocks, poison darts
and dead snakes, but instead, the villagers applauded politely. He had been present
while the song was being written and rehearsed, and had seriously thought of
asking the Hawaii Mars pilots would they mind if he crawled out on a wing and
stuck his head in a propeller.

The
villagers, most of whom were recovering from the previous night’s celebrations,
never needed an excuse to party, so within minutes, the food was being
prepared, bottles of GUA were being opened and the nose flutes were out.

The
Daring Doozers got into the swing of things, immediately. It was incredible.
Real people, real music, real jungle, and no curtains to shut out the daylight.
Everyone danced and everyone sang, and no wonder. The bandit threat had disappeared,
the Black Pool would stay untouched and the future looked as rosy as ever for the
villagers - a unique group of people, living life as they always had done, in a
paradise of their choosing.

There was
a moment of sadness when the men who had disposed of the anaconda reported
they’d found a
large adjustable spanner
in its gut.

‘Geeit tae me,’ said Hamish, ‘I’ll use
it tae fix yon waterwheel.’ He held the spanner and his bowl of GUA above his
head.

‘Here’s to Zac.’

‘To Zac,’ said everyone. Then the nose
flutes kicked off again and the party got back into full swing.

Mrs Hathaway sat next to Giles and,
although she refused a bowl of GUA, she was in good spirits. They chatted about
how well the challenges had gone and the fact that how everything had
nearly
been a disaster would be right up
the Daring Dooz readerships’ streets.

‘Thing is,’ said Giles, ‘we need one
more spectacular challenge, something really amazing to end with.’

Mrs Hathaway thought the Atlantic
crossing, the hurricane-shark experience, the time-vortex tunnel, the
engineless 20,000 feet freefall, the caimen-dodging tightrope walk and
overcoming slaughter by the
Pangonistas
was a pretty reasonable series of adventures. Maybe it didn't look much when
you were sitting safe and cosy in the Shard counting the extra profits from the
doubled circulation. But, she had survived,
and
there was the £2 million to look forward to. So she let him carry on.

‘You’ve done a brilliant job Tallulah,
but you know us publishing types - always looking for the big one!’

Mrs Hathaway had thoughts around the
fact that she knew where the big one was, but wouldn’t be so vulgar as to
mention Aubrey’s name or to drop even the slighted hint.

As the
party mellowed, and the campfire flames turned to glowing embers, Giles decided
to make a speech. He stood in the centre of the circle and said nice things
about Hamish and the villagers and wished them well. Then he turned to the
Daring Doozers.

‘As
CEO and owner of
Daring Dooz and UFO News International
-
you can call me Giles (loud cheers) - I’d like to thank all the Daring Doozers
who made the long and expensive journey to
Manaus International, then up to the village
here, with no clear idea of what was going to happen. Just a determination to
save Mrs Hathaway and the hostages in the village.’

‘Daring
Dooz!’ shouted someone, and there were more loud cheers.

‘Of course,
it turned out, that, thanks to Hamish and the darts team, everyone was saved
before we got here. But you came just the same. You had no doubts and no fears,
and I’d like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.’

‘But I have
a confession. Right from the start when Splatter (more loud cheers) and I
hatched this rescue, there was something I never had the nerve to tell you.’

He paused. It
was crunch time.

‘The
bandits all had M16s.’

The Daring
Doozers looked up at him with blank faces. Most of them supposed an M16 was a
new type of video game consul. They felt Giles shouldn't have worried about
telling them, they could always download it when they got home.

‘There will,
of course, be a full feature based on your adventures in the next issue of
Daring Dooz
’ (more cheers and whoop
whoops).

‘And
finally, I am pleased to announce that
Daring Dooz
and UFO News International
will pay
all
your flight
costs and expenses (enormous, prolonged cheers).

 
‘So now the excitement is over, we can all go
back to our lives, just as they were before’ (standing ovation from those who
were still able to stand).

It was a
great speech. And everything Giles said was absolutely correct. Apart from the
last sentence which, for some members of the happy throng, would prove to be as
incorrect as any sentence uttered in the history of mankind.

Chapter 74

Still singing their song, which seemed to sound better now their voices
were slurred, the Daring Doozers waved happy goodbyes to the villagers, jumped
in the dinghies and helped each other crawl on board the huge flying boat.

The crew of the Hawaii Mars were anxious to be off, and no doubt, collect
the rest of their payment, but the pilot came on the intercom and warned them
he wouldn't take off at all, if they didn’t shut up.

So they did.

So he did.

Mrs Hathaway, Mick, Jim, Giles and Hamish stood on the pier and waved
goodbye to the Hawaii Mars as it rose majestically up above the canopy, and
headed east.

Digby didn't wave, he was gazing forlornly at Mrs Hathaway, and wondering
if he ought to present her with a poem he’d written the previous evening.

It was originally called, Digby Desires Tallulah, but, on reflection, he
felt that that was rather too forward, so he’d just written the initial letters
at the top of the paper.

The poem read.

D.D.T
.

Oh,
Mrs Hathaway!

You
take my brathaway!

You’ve
zapped me with your zappa-ray!

Let’s
walk together on life’s pathaway!

And
have a laugh-a-day

I’ll
even have a bath-a-day

D.D.T
for ever - care of what I’ve got stashed-away

On re-reading it, now he was sober, he felt the sentiments were right on
target, but, fortunately, was beginning to have doubts about the iambic
pentameter.

He was shaken from these literary musings, by Mrs Hathaway shouting, “Come
on everyone, this isn’t going to get the baby de-dribbled.’

They jumped into the remaining dinghy and headed off to the Catalina,
leaving Hamish, just as the had first seen him, standing alone and still, on
the end of pier, with just a trace of mist swirling around Zac’s partially
sunken steamboat.

*

Mrs Hathaway sat in the cockpit, and checked the controls, while the rest
of them found places to sit.

It was then, she realised she hadn't given Aubrey the good news that
everyone was safe and that the bandits were no longer a problem.

She dialled the number.

‘St Bernard’s Police HQ,
Chief of Police, Roberto Velazquez, how may I help you?’

‘Is Aubrey
there?’

‘How do you
mean -
there
?’

‘I mean, is
he located in the Police headquarters - there’s only one room and two cells, if
I remember correctly?’

‘Yeah, but
there’s ‘here’ and ‘
here
’?

Mrs Hathaway
had had enough.

‘Have you
lost
him?’

‘Well it
depends what you mean by
lost
?’

Mrs Hathaway
had had
more
than enough.

‘Roberto, I
will be back at St Bernards within 24 hours, and you remember that Enfield Bin
thing, well I’ve got a lot worse up my sleeve, and I’ll be glad to demonstrate
the advanced techniques on
you
.’

‘He took his
bass out for a walk last night,’ said Roberto, ‘he was looking for inspiration
for some new songs he’s writing. It was a bad night, stacks of lightning, you
know like big white sheets in the sky. Talk about a storm, I never seen
anything like it, man.’

‘And what
happened?’

‘He never
came back, I’ve been out looking for him all day -honest - not a trace.’

‘Keep
looking,’ said Mrs Hathaway, faintly.

‘And ring me
if you have any news?’ She was going to say, ‘if you find anything,’ but the
thought was too horrible to contemplate.

Mick and Jim
came into the cockpit and, between sniffles, she told them the dreadful news.

‘You know,’
she said, ‘I’m not sure I can fly, I’m too upset about Aubrey.’

For once,
Mick and Jim were genuinely concerned.

‘You have to
do it Tallulah, the sooner you take off, the sooner you’ll be in St Bernards,
and then you can sort things out.’

Normally,
they would have been thinking the sooner she took off, the sooner they could be
whooping it up down the Golden Legover
-
but
this was serious, and their only thoughts were about organising a larger search
party and getting Aubrey found.

After a few
more minutes, Mrs Hathaway dried her eyes and came round to their way of
thinking.

Just outside
the cockpit, Digby listened with dismay. His beautiful Tallulah was spoken for.
He walked away and, after a few minutes, dried his eyes, and came round to her
way of thinking.

The anchor was
hauled aboard, the engines fired first time and Mrs Hathaway turned the Catalina
to face downstream. Soon, they, too, left the canopy far below. Mrs Hathaway
selected full throttle and set a course she hoped would take her straight to
Aubrey, wherever he was.