Dark Destroyer (18 page)

Kathalin smiled faintly, looking at the cloak she was wearing. “It is warm and comfortable, as you said it would be,” she said, her gaze returning to the bed. “And, if you wish to know a secret, it has not turned my skin red. For that alone, I am thankful that I am wearing it.”

Gates glanced up from the hearth, envisioning her resplendent beauty. Strong words of admiration came to mind but he chased them away. It hurt his heart in a way he did not understand to be unable to say such things to her.

“It suits you,” he said simply. As the fire in the hearth began to blaze more strongly, he stood up and brushed off his hands. “You will be safe here while I go and retrieve your possessions. I will also have food sent to you, as I can imagine you must be hungry. Is there anything else you require?”

Kathalin shook her head, still running her hand over the coverlet. “Do you know who I will be sharing this bed with?”

He looked at her, confused. “What do you mean?”

Kathalin shrugged, pointing to the bed. “I mean am I to share this with someone?” she asked. “This is such a big bed. Mayhap I will share it with my mother’s maid? Or a servant?”

Gates shook his head. “You do not seem to understand that all of this is for you,” he said. “You will not share the bed with anyone. It is yours.”

Kathalin’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “But it is so big!”

He gave her a half-grin. “You are the daughter of an earl,” he said as he moved to the chamber door. “You must become accustomed to the fact that big chambers and fine clothing are your lot in life.”

Bewildered, Kathalin’s attention was drawn to the bed once more but she realized that Gates was leaving, so she hastened after him.

“Wait,” she said, catching up to him. “You… you will return, will you not?”

He stood with his hand on the iron door latch. “I told you I would,” he said. “I am going back to the bailey to retrieve the basket with your possessions in it.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. It seemed that there was something on her mind but she wasn’t sure how to voice it so Gates lifted the latch and opened the door, preparing to leave, but Kathalin stopped him again.

“After this,” she said, struggling to find the correct words. “After tonight, I mean. Will… will you remain here? That is to say, will I see you? You are not leaving Hyssington?”

He shook his head. “Nay,” he said. “I am not leaving Hyssington. Why do you ask?”

Kathalin wasn’t sure why she had asked; all she knew was that the thought of him leaving her alone in a castle full of strangers terrified her.
Rescuer… great protector
… he had been all of these things to her since leaving St. Milburga’s. But there was more to it and she knew it. It wasn’t simply the fact that she didn’t want to be left with strangers.

She didn’t want him to leave her at all.

“Because…,” she stammered. “Because I do not know anyone here and… what I mean is that I know you and you are the only person I
do
know, so I am hoping you will stay with me as I become accustomed to Hyssington. I do not want you to leave me.”

I do not want you to leave me
. Gates could have read a great deal into that statement and it was difficult not to do so. He didn’t want to leave her, either, his protective instincts very strong when it came to her, but he, too, knew it was more than that. Something much more, something that frightened him. That fear caused his manner to harden somewhat in a purely self-defensive posture.

“Unless Lord de Lara sends me away, I will remain at Hyssington,” he said formally. “I will be here. You need not fear. I am at your service, my lady.”

Somehow, that wasn’t what Kathalin wanted to hear. She wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to hear, but a generic statement of service hadn’t been it. She felt a bit saddened by his stiff reply and a bit disappointed. There had been no warmth in his words at all and that was what she had been hoping for, in hindsight.

Warmth from his eyes again.

Warmth from him.

“Thank you,” she simply said, putting her hand on the door because he was already halfway through it. “I will bolt this door after you leave. I will not feel safe otherwise.”

He nodded, sensing something gloomy and moody to her manner all of a sudden. She had been open and wistful only moments early, but now she was seemingly saddened. He was curious about her swift change in mood but he wouldn’t dwell on it nor would he ask her why. It was probably safer if he didn’t. He didn’t want to give himself any false notions to feed his attraction to her.

God help him if she was attracted to him, too.

“Of course,” he said. “I do not blame you for your fears. In fact, it would be wise not to open this door for anyone but me. I will bring food to you myself.”

“No one?”

“Not a soul. Not even your father.”

She fought off a grin. “Especially my father,” she said. “He seems to want to put me in the middle of everyone you are trying to protect me from. I… am grateful, Gates.”

Gates.
His name never sounded so sweet, spoken in her gentle voice. Not one to give in to giddiness or the thrills of attraction, he nonetheless found himself feeling somewhat flighty as he gazed into her eyes. Foolish, even.

Dear God, he had to get out of there!

“It is my pleasure, my lady,” he said, resisting the urge to call her by her name.
Kathalin
. It was such a beautiful name. “I will return.”

Kathalin simply nodded and Gates had no more reason to stay. Quickly, he quit the room, listening to the door shut softly behind him and hearing the bolt thrown, as he made his way down the spiral stairway. The old woman guarding the grate door down at the entry unlocked the iron grate and allowed him to pass into the bailey beyond.

Even as Gates made his way across the muddy, half-frozen bailey, his thoughts continued to linger on Kathalin. It wasn’t good for him to think on her beyond what was required for him to carry out his duties, but the fact of the matter was that he
did
think about her. He’d been thinking about her fairly steadily since last night, since he’d spent the entire night outside of her chamber door in the tiny inn, guarding it against any danger. That beautiful, fine, and pure woman was increasingly on his mind and as much as he tried to push her aside, he couldn’t seem to do it.

Something was stirring within him, something unfamiliar, and it scared him to death.

When he finally tried to sleep that night, he found that he couldn’t, for his thoughts and dreams centered around one thing…

Kathalin.

“I will not be kept from my own daughter, Gates,” Jasper said sternly. “I have ordered you to bring her down to the hall. Since when do you refuse an order?”

It was early in the morning the day following Kathalin’s arrival at Hyssington. The clouds were heavy this morning, pewter in the sky, threatening another dump of freezing white particles, and the castle grounds were just becoming alive with men going about their duties.

In the great hall, however, there was a potentially explosive situation happening as Jasper, demanding his daughter’s presence, had been denied by Gates.
Denied.
Jasper was having great difficulty comprehending his knight’s refusal to produce his own flesh and blood.

“My lord,” Gates said patiently. “May I speak candidly?”

“You had better.”

Gates, who had hardly slept all night, lifted a displeased eyebrow. “You must understand something about your daughter,” he said. “She has lived most of her life in a convent where there were no men about. Men make her extremely uncomfortable. I told you last night that she had been molested the moment she reached Hyssington and for that reason alone, she is terrified to come out of her chamber. She has been living a spartan, quiet life at St. Milburga’s. It is the only life she has ever known, one imposed upon her by you no less. You cannot suddenly demand the woman place herself in the midst of parties and feasting and the scrutiny of men because she does not know any of this. It would upset her greatly. You must allow her time to become accustomed it.”

Jasper was listening seriously, understanding what the man was saying but unwilling to agree. “She is going to have to become used to her surroundings eventually,” he said. “There is no better time than the present to start. Bring her to me, Gates.”

Gates was growing increasingly frustrated with Jasper’s lack of compassion. Under normal circumstances he would not have cared in the least, but after a sleepless night, he was coming to realize that he cared a great deal whether or not he wanted to.
God, I’m such a fool,
he thought. More than that, his feelings towards Kathalin were about to get him into trouble with her father.

“Shall I ask Lady de Lara what she thinks of bringing her daughter into a hall full of leering men?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Let us see what she has to say about it. If she agrees, then I will do it.”

Jasper’s mouth flew open in outrage. “You would not
dare
do such a thing!”

Gates’ reply was to turn on his heel and head for the hall door, leaving Jasper to bellow after him. “De Wolfe!” he yelled. “Do not leave this hall, do you hear? Come back here, I demand it!”

Gates made it to the entry before stopping, pausing long enough to turn around and see that Jasper was on his feet, moving towards him. The old man pointed at him.

“Since when are you so concerned about a woman?” he demanded. “Women mean nothing to you. Do you know why I did not greet you and my daughter in the bailey when you arrived last night? It was because a woman claiming she had borne your bastard son had come to the kitchen gate demanding money. It is true! I went to see her because she was creating quite a fuss and the sentries summoned me. I saw the child, Gates. He looks just like you. She calls him Wolfie, after you. I paid her a few silver coins and told her to go away.”

Shocked, Gates considered what he had just been told carefully before replying. There wasn’t much use in denying the possibility because he knew it would have been a lie for him to even attempt it. Therefore, he simply accepted it.

“Did she give her name?” he asked.

Jasper nodded but, in the same motion, his head began to wag back and forth in a reproachful gesture. “Helene of Linley,” he said. “God’s Bones, Gates, you bedded Lord Linley’s daughter? Have you no sense?”

Gates remained cool. “Linley is a drunken old fool with less than fifty men sworn to him,” he said quietly. “He lives in a dilapidated manor home, the last son of a once-great baronetcy, and drinks himself to death every day. I met Helene on an errand for you, in fact, and fed the woman because she was starving. She was in town trying to sell the last of her family’s valuables. Did you know that about Linley? He uses all of his money for drink while his family starves.”

Jasper did know that, in fact. His angry stance was suddenly not so angry. He waved Gates off, as if the background of the House of Linley made no difference. “Be that as it may, it does not give you the right to bed his daughter,” he pointed out. “Now you have given them one more mouth to feed but more than that, the woman will never know a decent marriage to lift her family out of poverty because you bedded her. That is the third bastard that I know of from you and God only knows how many more there are out there. What on earth am I going to do with you, Gates?”

Gates looked at the man, seeing how flustered he was, and did what he usually did in these situations – he charmed himself out of it. He and de Lara rarely had cross words but when they did, Gates knew that honey worked much better with Jasper than vinegar. That, and stories of war. Either one had been known to work. He forced a smile.

“I know that I am a terrible lad,” he said, trying to lighten Jasper’s mood. “I refuse to let you see your own daughter and then I produce armies of bastard children all over your earldom. At the very least, you should beat me into a bloody pulp but then there would be no one to lead your armies to victory. I am your greatest pride and your greatest embarrassment. Whatever are you going to do with me?”

Jasper, who had been righteously upset, was struggling not to smile as Gates came over to him and clapped him on the shoulder, grinning devilishly. It was difficult to be cross with such a smile. He shook his head in disgust.

“You are a wicked bastard,” he said, although by the tone of his voice it was obvious that he wasn’t truly angry. “Between you and Alexander, it is as if you are led by your manhoods and not your common sense.”

“I know. But it is much more fun that way.”

Jasper snorted, easing out of his anger. “Naughty!”

Gates laughed softly. “Naughty and thrilling,” he said. “I never know when an irate father is going to try and challenge me, and that makes life very exciting.”

Jasper couldn’t help but laugh at Gates, a man he truly adored. “You really are dastardly,” he said. “Will you ever cease this behavior, Gates? Will you become a responsible man someday and marry a woman?”

Gates immediately thought of Kathalin, an idea that hit him so hard he actually had to suck in his breath. Suddenly, the situation wasn’t so funny anymore. He felt anxiety and confusion. The smile faded from his face.

“I doubt any decent family will want to have their daughter married to me,” he said, half because it was the truth and half because he wanted to see Jasper’s reaction. “I will have to find a bride from a country far away where they have not heard of me.”

As expected, Jasper agreed. “That is true, lad,” he said. “I am not sure we could find you a bride from a decent family in all of England. No woman wants to marry a man who has bastards running around. Most shameful. But, on the other hand, you are a de Wolfe and you bring the de Wolfe name with you. You are a knight beyond compare. Mayhap a good family will take that into consideration.”

Gates almost asked the obvious; it was on the tip of his tongue, begging to be spoken:
would you
? But he couldn’t bring himself to say it, to give a clue as to what he had been thinking and feeling for Kathalin. Was it marriage, then? Did he want to marry the woman? Gates wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he couldn’t stand the thought of her with someone else. The very idea ate at him like a cancer.

“Mayhap,” he was all he could manage to say. “But I do not have to worry over it today. Meanwhile, may I make a suggestion regarding your daughter?”

In a better mood now, Jasper shrugged. “Go ahead,” he said with resignation. “You will, anyway.”

Gates smirked, a half-grin on his face. “Allow me to suggest going to her chamber and speaking with her in private,” he said. “She is a different young lady than you have imagined. Being raised in St. Milburga’s has seen to that. But let me say that she has the de Lara strength. When we rode into St. Milburga’s, it was overrun with raiders. I happened into the kitchen, where your daughter was, and she nearly beat me to death with an iron pot before she knew who I was. Strength and bravery like that is indeed a de Lara trait. So give her time to become accustomed to her new surroundings before you parade her around in front of men. She will do you proud but it would be better if you allowed her to do it on her own terms.”

By the time he was finished, Jasper was listening seriously. “She beat you with a pot, you say?”

“She did, indeed. Me and another Welsh fool.”

Jasper chuckled. “Indeed,” he said, respect in his tone. He eyed Gates a moment before speaking. “Very well,” he said. “I will go to her chamber this morning and become acquainted with her. I would also like to take her to meet her mother.”

“I am sure she would be agreeable to that.”

Jasper nodded. “Excellent,” he said. “Will you come with me to see her, then? She knows you well by now and I am sure she would be comfortable with you in the room.”

As Gates nodded, Alexander entered the hall. Dressed in a heavy fur cloak against the cold, his face was pinched red from the chill outside. When he saw Gates and Jasper standing there, he beat at his arms as if to drive warmth back into them.

“God’s Bloody Feet!” he exclaimed. “I have never felt such cold!”

Jasper was already moving for the entry with Gates in tow. “Come with us, Alexander,” he said, tugging on the man. “We are going to meet my daughter. I’ve not truly spoken with her since she was a child and even then, what is it possible for children to say? She was a silly little girl. I would like to see what a fine and obedient woman she has become.”

Jealousy reared its ugly head in Gates’ heart once again at the thought of Alexander interacting with Kathalin. It was a struggle not to show it. He didn’t even want Jasper speaking with the woman much less Alexander.
Damnation, man, what is happening to you?
Frustrated, and trying to keep his composure, Gates had no choice but to follow Jasper, and now Alexander, out of the hall.

“I met your daughter last night, my lord, briefly,” Alexander said as they entered the frozen bailey. “A lovely girl, in fact. She does not look like the de Lara side of the family.”

Jasper grinned at the insult. “Nay, she certainly does not,” he said. “She looks like the du Bois side, the half-Welsh side. They all have dark hair and bright blue eyes. Kathalin looks a good deal like her mother did as a young woman.”

The three of them slogged through the freezing, slick mud as they approached the keep. Jasper kept trying to shake it off his fine boots even though it was a futile effort; the dark mud clung like clay.

“My lord,” Gates spoke up before they could reach the iron-grate entry of the keep. “You should know that Lady Kathalin has brought up her request to take her vows as a nun more than once during the journey home. It is possible she will bring it up again when you speak with her. She is quite disappointed at being summoned home rather than remaining at St. Milburga’s and being allowed to pursue a holy vocation.”

Jasper frowned as they reached the keep entry. “She will
not
take her vows,” he said flatly. “A de Lara is not meant for the cloister. She has a bigger destiny to fulfill.”

Gates nodded patiently as the old Tender of the Keep unlocked the grate and pulled it open. “I realize that,” he said. “But she is quite attached to St. Milburga’s and has her heart set on becoming a nun. If I were you, I would be gentle when informing her that she will be denied her wishes. She is likely to become quite emotional about it. In fact, I had to carry her, bound, out of St. Milburga’s because she did not wish to come with me, so be aware that her presence here is not by choice. It was by force.”

The three men pushed into the lower level of the keep, which was cold and somewhat dark. Jasper was the first one up the spiral stairs, followed by Gates and Alexander.

“I see,” Jasper said. He did not sound pleased. “Then her desire to join the cloister is not a whim.”

“Not at all.”

He fell silent a moment as they reached the top of the stairs. “That is unfortunate,” he finally said, heading for the chamber door where his daughter was housed, “because my plans for her are much different.”

Gates didn’t say anymore as Jasper reached out a meaty fist and banged on Kathalin’s door. He had to rap twice before a nervous voice on the other side asked for identification. Gates, knowing she would not open the door to her father, primarily because he’d told her not to, answered.

“My lady, it is de Wolfe and your father and Sir Alexander,” he said. “May we please enter?”

The bolt to the door was thrown. They could hear it sliding against the wood. The chamber door jerked open and Kathalin stood in the doorway.

Her attention was only on Gates and his attention was only on her; she was wearing the heavy lavender wool gown, a simple garment that emphasized her lovely figure, and her dark hair was simply braided and draped over one shoulder. It was clear that she hadn’t any help in dressing not only because of her simple hair, but for the fact that the lace-up ties on the back of the dress were somewhat awry. Gates only saw that when she managed to tear her attention off of him and step back into the room, ushering her father forth.