Dark Endings

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

For everyone who believed in me, who knew that I could do it even when I didn’t believe it. My family, friends, co-workers and everyone who said “You can do it.” Thank you.

For my husband’s patience and love, and for not hitting me over the head for all the hours I have spent working on my novels. For my gorgeous daughters who are the best children a mother could ask for.

For all my fans, for their encouragement and belief, for their kind words and amazing hearts. You all make this possible for me.

I want to make an extra shout out to the ladies at Triple M Bookclub. Those girls have been my crack, my backbone, my reason to keep writing. Without them, I think I would have drowned. I love their craziness, I love their passion, heck, I love them!! You know who you are, and you all know what you mean to me. x

Books in this series

Dark Poison (Book One)

Dark Desire (Book Two)

Dark Endings (Book Three)

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PROLOGUE

WILLOW

Grief, they say it comes in five stages. The
first is denial. A person continues to tell themselves they feel fine, they’re going to recover easily, nothing is happening. The second is anger. How could I let this happen? How could they let this happen? I hate everyone, they will pay for this. The third is bargaining. I’ll change my life, I’ll fix everything, I’ll change who I am just to make this better. The fourth is depression. I can’t live, I can’t breathe, I might as well die because it’s just too hard. The fifth is acceptance. I can’t change this situation and I either have to accept it, or let myself drown. Drowning is not an option.

Right now, I’m
at stage four, depression. I’ve been at stage four now for about six months. I can’t seem to move past it. I went through all kinds of crazy when I arrived back in LA. First I did everything possible to try and resolve the situation. I made calls, begged the gang members, bribed people for information and did everything in my power, at that point, to save him. Then I got angry, blinding rage filled me day and night and I couldn’t move on, I couldn’t stop blaming myself and everyone else for what happened. Then came the bargaining, I tried everything to make myself feel better, to ease the pain inside. I begged, I pleaded, I offered to lay down my life to ensure someone helped me, but no one did.

Now depression,
I’ve lived with depression before, so it’s nothing foreign to me. Oddly, I’m dealing with it better than the previous three emotions. In fact, I’m dealing with this stage quite well. I was sure when I got back, that I’d crumble and fall back into my old ways, and for a while I did…until Cody. He changed my life, he made the sun begin shining again. He gave me a reason to live. He gave me a reason to push myself from my bed each day. He gave me a reason to breathe. He became my everything and I would fight to make sure nothing ever happened to him. Cody is my son.

I didn’t know I was pregnant when I first got back. In fact, I didn’t know for three months. It wasn’t until Ava noticed my weight
gain that she dared to mention it. When I did the test, I sat staring at the two pink lines for over three hours. I was numb, I could feel nothing. The usual ‘how did this happen?’ or ‘how will I break the news to him?’ didn’t pass through my mind. I had no one to break the news to. I had no emotions. I couldn’t think about anything except the tiny lines in front of me.

Ava and Jenny both supported me through my pregnancy. They took me to my appointments, fed me well, made sure I took my
vitamins and held me when I screamed and cried for Jagger. When labor came around, they were both by my side as I welcomed Cody into the world. Cody became my sunshine. He’s gorgeous and a spitting image of Jagger. His eyes are that beautiful light blue, and his hair is dark and thick. He has my lighter skin, and he’s a beautiful, happy baby.

We moved to the beach two months after returning to LA. I tried, I chased down everything I could to get Jagger back, but it was of no use to me. The gang wouldn’t support
me, instead they supported their boss’ words. If they helped me find him, then he would kill them all. Their loyalty won out and I was on my own with no other choice but to do as Jagger asked; run away and hide. So, that’s what I did. With Ava and Jenny by my side, and our combined money, we purchased a house by the beach a bunch of states away in Florida.

Ava and Angel had a huge fight before we left, because
she wanted him to come with her but he refused. He was choosing his gang over his girl, and that just wasn’t ok with her. Not that I could blame her, but I understood Angel wasn’t going to leave at a time like that. He couldn’t just pack up and run. I told Ava to stay, but her mind was made up and her heart was broken. So we moved. I haven’t seen or heard from the boys since, and that alone is enough to break someone’s heart, let alone adding the idea that her lifeline is being beaten half to death each day.

The images in my mind stop me from sleeping most nights, which is ok since Cody is a restle
ss baby. I lay awake more often than not, starting at the stars from my window and listening to the waves crashing against the shore. I don’t know where Jagger is, I don’t even know if he’s alive still. That makes me sick, it rips down to the very core of me and eats away at it, slowly but surely. I can’t sleep, I can’t smile…not when he’s living the way he is. How can I? How can I ever smile again and feel ok about it?

~*~*~*~

“Hey my little munchkin,” Ava croons, swooping down to scoop Cody up into her arms.

He smiles at her. He has this big, beautiful smile that puts sunshine back into all our lives. He’s
gorgeous, everything about him is pure perfection and beauty. He’s six months old now and the happiest baby under the sun. He reaches out and clutches Ava’s necklace and she laughs.

“No Cody baby, that’s Aunty Ava’s special necklace.”

Like he cares
. He pops it into his mouth and drool runs down Ava’s chest.

“You’re the only man I’d let drool over me, Cody boy.”

I nearly smile. I don’t smile anymore but my face lights up, or so Ava tells me.

“He’s a charmer,” I say, stroking his soft, dark curls.

“Oh he’s a charmer alright. Where’s Jen?”

Ava puts Cody on the floor and hands him a pacifier, which he drools all over and then tosses on the floor with an angry expression. Yes, he’s like his father in that sense.
The boy has anger issues.

“I
don’t know, she got a call and boom she had to go out, just like that.”

Ava nods, plodding into the kitchen and pulling out a bag of grapes. She pops one into her mouth and chews, looking thoughtful.

“Do you think she’s seeing someone?”

I shrug. “Who knows, she’s out a lot lately.”

“Maybe she’s calling your mom?”

I think about my mother
quite a bit. Oh the thoughts I’ve had about her. She got released just after Jagger was taken. She wasn’t too thrilled to find out we were skipping a few states as soon as she got out. I think Jenny calls her every day, just to make her believe that we weren’t running from her. I’ve tried to tell her that too, but she doesn’t want to listen to me. She’s visited a few times but it’s not something any of us are very comfortable with. She adores Cody…though part of me would never fully trust her with him. Do I feel bad about that? Sure, I do, but I can’t just let go of my fears. I’ve forgiven her and we’ve managed to build a semi ok relationship. It’s a start.

“Mom isn’t that important that she’d keep disappearing every day. No, it’s s
omething more,” I say, finally answering Ava.

Ava contemplates this, while sucking noisily on her grape. I raise my brows at her.

“What’d the grape do to you?”

She laughs. “It tastes better smooshed and decapitated.”

I scrunch my nose up. “Seriously, you’re twisted.”

She nods, li
ke that doesn’t even bother her, “Totally.”

“How’s work going?”

She smiles. “It’s a good job, but it’s not something I want to do forever, you know?”

I nod. “I know what you mean. At least it keeps you busy.”

She nods, popping another grape into her mouth. “It does, if I don’t work, I’ll go crazy.”

“True.”

“What about you? Are you going to go back soon?”

I shrug. “Cody is still a
baby, I’ll go back when he gets a little older. I’m not ok with throwing him in care while he’s still so young.”

She nods in agreement. “I agree
, I couldn’t do it either.”

We hear a car pull up and I turn, staring at the front door. Our house is very open. It’s all white on t
he outside and the inside. Light cotton curtains cover the open windows, flapping constantly with the ocean breeze. It’s a very tropical little place, and would fit well for a family wanting a beach holiday. We are right on the sand, literally. We step out the front door and onto the beach. It’s peaceful.

The floor
s are wooden and the furniture is all white or light brown. We have paintings of flowers, surfboards and ocean sunsets on the walls. The kitchen is large, with white tiled counter tops and shiny silver fittings. It’s four bedrooms, and we all have one each as well as a spare. The front of the house is set out with a huge deck and white painted chairs and swing seats.

“Oh…my…g
od!”

I’m snapped out of my daze when I hear Ava’s voice. I turn to stare where she’s staring, and I stop breathing. Jenny is coming
up the front steps and she’s being followed by four men. I know those men. I know them nearly as well as I know myself - Ace, Angel, Rusty and Bull. I’m numb for a moment, my legs tingle and my skin prickles. When they step inside, I’m still standing completely blindsided by the scene before me.

“Willow…”

Ace has spoken, but I can’t grasp the fact that he’s standing in my lounge. Hot tears well in my eyes, I haven’t cried for months. Heck, I haven’t cried since the day I moved from LA and now here I am about to break that. How could they come here after they left me on my own and refused to help me? They were my family, I loved them like my own brothers and they left me alone.

“W…what are you doing here?”

It comes out as a harsh whisper, my voice has betrayed me and gone into hiding. Ace stares at me for long moments, his eyes narrowing at my expression. “Kid, we wanted to help out.”

“Don’t call me that!” I scream, shocking myself with my outburst. I cover my face and take a deep, calming breath.

I can’t deal with this. Not right now. I rush past them, slapping Ace’s hand away when he tries to get hold of it. I rush out the front door and down onto the sand. I can’t breathe, I can’t think straight. How could they come back and think it’s all ok? Why do they want to help me now, when they wanted no part of it when I needed them the most? I begin hurrying down the long stretch of beach, just needing to get away.