Dark Heart Surrender (26 page)

It was Luca’s turn to sigh. ‘She … Well, she tried to, I suppose.’ He paused, looking me up and down. ‘But there’s really only one person I want.’ He took a step closer to me, treading carefully past the dog.

‘Luca … I …’ I began warily. ‘I don’t know what’s going on, I’m afraid.’

With one finger he stroked my cheek. ‘I know. But I’m here. You don’t need to worry.’

‘But that’s just it.’ I looked up at him and suddenly my eyes were swimming with tears. ‘It’s you, Luca. It’s you that I’m afraid of.’

Luca almost gasped. I could see the shock in his face. Half of me wanted to take it back, tell him I was kidding, I couldn’t stand to see the look of hurt there. But something stopped me.

‘Ade and Polly – they’ve ruined everything,’ I said. ‘These mind games they’re playing – I haven’t got the strength to resist them. I just don’t know how.’

‘We have to be strong, united, Jane.’ Luca finally spoke and for the first time he sounded more like a man than a boy. ‘United. This is what the Vulpecula do. They send people mad if they let them.’

‘I don’t think I can,’ I said. ‘You need to go back to Nissilum, Luca. Where you’ll be safe at least. It’s the best thing for you – for us.’ I took his hands in mine and clasped them tight. ‘And I’m going to the police. They may not believe me, but at least they’ll know my suspicions.’

‘That’s very dangerous,’ Luca said quietly. ‘You’ll be on your own. And the police can’t keep up with the Vulpecula. It’s pointless.’

‘Maybe not. But they can force Mrs Ellis and Olivia to take DNA tests. At least then they’ll know she’s connected to that family.’

‘Jane, slow down,’ Luca said. ‘You can’t do this by yourself. You need me here to help you. At least I know how to play the Vulpecula—’

‘But you don’t!’ I felt exasperated. ‘You obviously don’t. And you’re not safe here. It’s you they want to get at most of all. I don’t know what the deal is with Olivia, but that’s another issue.’

‘OK,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ll go home. If it’s what you really want.’ He searched my eyes.

None of this was what I wanted, but it was time I stopped being so lame about what was going on. If that meant being apart from Luca, then so be it.

I nodded, hoping the tears wouldn’t come again. ‘And I need you to give me that necklace,’ I said steadily.

‘The necklace?’ He frowned.

‘I’m taking it to the police. They can test the blood on it. And they can find out who it belongs to. And who tore it off Olivia’s neck.’

Luca shut his eyes, but I knew he realized it was futile to refuse. I also knew that what I was doing was virtually telling him he was useless, unnecessary. That this was one thing he couldn’t fix.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I never wanted it to be this way. But I won’t let you stay here and get hurt by them.’

‘When will I see you again?’ he said, swallowing.

‘When this is over,’ I told him.

Luca nodded and, sensing that something sad was happening, Bobby whimpered sympathetically at our feet.

‘So this is goodbye then.’ I saw that familiar tic of tension in Luca’s cheek and my heart lurched for a second. I held out my arms and he moved into them, clasping me tightly, burying his head into my hair.

‘I love you – you know that, don’t you?’ he whispered. ‘Always.’

And the tears that I had been holding back started to fall. I wanted so much to say those words back to him, but I had to hold them back.

‘Goodbye,’ I whispered back. ‘Goodbye, Luca.’

‘S
o we’re going together,’ said Ashley, flicking her hair over her shoulder. ‘To the half-term party, I mean. I was sure he’d say no because, you know, he’s kind of not into the whole coupley thing … But he said yes, immediately!’ She clapped her hands together gleefully. ‘I can’t wait to show him off.’

From my seat at the other end of the canteen table, I forced a mouthful of salad into my mouth. It tasted like sand. I dropped my fork and took a gulp of Coke. Then I allowed myself a small peek at the gaggle of girls around Ashley.

In any other situation I would have been pleased for her. But this wasn’t good. I knew there was no point in saying anything to her. Apart from the fact that she wasn’t actually talking to me, anything I said would be analyzed as jealousy.

Maybe there was a way I could stop it from happening. I didn’t want to upset Ashley. But better safe than sorry.

‘Mind if I sit with you?’ A familiar yet timid voice spoke in my ear. I glanced down at a pair of porcelain-pale arms holding a tray of food. My heart sank.

‘Free country,’ I said, putting down my Coke.

‘I wanted to talk to you, anyway,’ she said quietly. And I was forced to turn and face her. She was wearing some kind of Amish get-up. A grey shirt buttoned to the neck, tucked into a long shapeless skirt. Her hair was coiled in a prim bun at the back of her head and her face was unusually free of make-up. Her eyes, bare without the eye-liner, looked stark and a little red-rimmed.

It was an impressive gesture of humility, I had to give her that.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘About Pete.’

Polly half smiled in acknowledgement. ‘Thanks,’ she said with what looked like some effort. She peered past me at Ashley and her friends, still shrieking with delight.

‘What’s that all about?’ she asked, frowning.

‘Ashley’s going to the half-term party with your brother,’ I told her in a flat tone. ‘She’s kind of excited about it.’

Polly rolled her eyes, though there was amusement, not malice, there.

‘Good for her. It seems she’s achieved the impossible.’ She picked at a chip and dunked it into some ketchup, then put it whole in her mouth.

‘Does Ade really like Ashley?’ I said, a little surprised by my own forthrightness. ‘I mean, is he genuine?’

Polly finished chewing, then dabbed at her mouth with a tissue. ‘Who knows?’ she shrugged. ‘He likes you more. But then you already know that.’

‘Not going to happen.’ I bristled, very much aware I was sitting next to a potential murder suspect. ‘He’s not my type.’

Polly picked up her burger and nodded. ‘I forgot, yeah. You’re more into the shy, retiring type.’

It was an insult and she knew it. At least, I think she did. Yet again Polly was clouding clear thoughts.

‘I have to go,’ I said. ‘It’s been nice chatting with you.’

‘Don’t go,’ she said abruptly. Her expression was intense as she stared at me. She had pushed away her plate of food and her pale hands were folded into each other in a childlike pose.

‘I have to. Well …’ I hesitated reluctantly. ‘I only have a few minutes.’

‘I know no one likes me,’ she said. ‘I know you don’t think much of me either.’

‘Polly.’ I had been hovering, half off my seat, but I sat back down. ‘What’s going on?’

She frowned anxiously. ‘Too much. We’ve got some girl hanging around saying she’s, like, related to us or something. My mum’s gone mental again – won’t speak to anyone.’

‘Olivia.’ I nodded. ‘I heard. Why do you think she’s saying these things?’

Polly shrugged miserably. ‘I don’t know. I guess she’s a little bit disturbed or something.’

‘She
has
just been literally holed up in a cave for God knows how long,’ I said. ‘She’s hardly going to be in her right mind.’

‘I guess …’ Polly breathed out slowly. ‘I just wish she’d leave us alone. My mum doesn’t need this. Not now.’

I sighed. ‘Well, get a test then. Put the whole thing to rest.’

Polly’s jaw visibly tightened. She looked away then, silently indicating that the direction the conversation was going was not to her liking.

That figured. I checked my watch.

‘I really have to go now,’ I said. ‘But maybe there’s someone you can talk to. Someone who might understand.’

Polly turned slowly back to me. ‘I thought I had someone who understood,’ she said. ‘I mean, who really listened to me – got who I was. But I haven’t seen him for days and I think he’s abandoned me – just like my real mum did. Just like everyone does, in the end.’

‘Who understood you? Your brother?’ I felt just a smidgeon of tenderness for her. She looked so lost.

Polly’s pale-pink lips trembled slightly and she shook her head quickly. ‘No … not Ade.’ She looked up at me, ‘Luca. He understood. We talked for hours on Saturday night. That’s why he was out all night. He was listening to me.’

‘Luca.’ Any tenderness evaporated. ‘Luca understands you?’

‘I think he knows what it’s like to be an outsider – you know, apart from his real family, trying to fit in.’ She looked up at me from under her pale lashes. ‘I’m sorry – that must sound like I’m trying to get with him, but he was just a friend to me. A proper friend.’

I stared at her. I couldn’t decide whether this was just another malicious joke, or if Polly genuinely believed what she was saying. Three months ago I would have dismissed it, but I couldn’t be sure any more. Who knew what Luca had kept secret from me But I knew one thing. I couldn’t rise to it. There was too much to lose.

‘Yeah, well,’ I told her. ‘Luca’s gone, I’m afraid.’

Polly’s forlorn look turned decidedly steely.

‘Gone? Where?’ She almost glared at me.

I shrugged. ‘Who knows?’ I lied. ‘We’re over. It’s over. He said he wanted to travel. He left a few days ago.’

‘I can’t believe that,’ she said. ‘He just … left you?’

I nodded, a studied sanguine expression on my face.

‘To be honest, I’m relieved,’ I told her. ‘There was always a weird kind of vibe about Luca. A little bit dangerous, you know?’

‘Uh-huh.’ Polly looked gripped. ‘Dangerous. Yeah, I get that. Are you sure he didn’t tell you where he was going?’

‘Positive,’ I said firmly. ‘We didn’t exactly part on the best of terms.’

‘Wow,’ said Polly, and she stared down at her untouched food. ‘I guess some people turn out to be wrong. You know, not quite who you thought they were.’

‘I guess so.’ I sighed again, rechecking my watch. ‘Look, I really have to go.’ I got up and swung my bag over my shoulder. ‘I’m glad we had this talk. I think I understand you a little better now, too.’

‘You do?’ Polly still looked dazed. ‘Cool.’

‘See you around – maybe at the half-term party?’

‘I don’t think so,’ she said. ‘But Ade will be there.’

‘Great,’ I said, inwardly noting to give him a wide berth.

‘I have to be somewhere too,’ said Polly. ‘My mum is supposed to be planning Pete’s funeral, but she’s not exactly with it at the moment.’

‘I’d like to come,’ I said, without thinking, ‘to Pete’s funeral.’

‘I’ll talk to my family,’ said Polly. ‘I think Mum wants a private do – but I’ll see.’

‘Yeah,’ I said, turning to head for my next class. ‘You do that.’

L
uca looked in on his sister, fast asleep, though still clutching one of her precious books. Her feet were nearly sticking over the end of the bed, she’d grown so much since he’d last seen her. He smiled. His heart was full of lead and he couldn’t imagine ever feeling again that freedom, that happiness that he’d felt with Jane. But seeing his sister made coming home a less dismal prospect.

He moved away from the doorway. He was uncertain where to go, sure that his old bedroom would be full of household clutter.

‘Luca?’ Dalya’s voice, bleary came from her bed. ‘Is that you?’

He stepped inside the bedroom. ‘Ssh. Go back to sleep,’ he said.

Dalya sat up. ‘What’s happened?’ she said. ‘Luca?’

He sat down at the end of her bed. ‘Everything is going to be fine,’ he whispered. ‘I just came back for a visit. That’s all.’

Dalya gave him a shrewd look. She reached to her side and turned on her bedside lamp.

‘Something’s happened,’ she said. ‘I know it has.’

Luca sighed. ‘It’s nothing. Just a bit of trouble on Mortal Earth.’

Dalya rolled her eyes. ‘Not more trouble.’ She sighed. ‘Is this about the Vulpecula?’

Luca hesitated. It had always been pointless trying to keep anything from Dalya. And it was so tempting to unburden himself to someone who knew him so well. But she was still his little sister. He didn’t want her to know everything.

‘I had to leave,’ he said. ‘Jane and I – we … well, something went wrong.’

‘Wrong?’ Dalya was wide awake now. ‘But you two are so close. What on earth could have happened?’

‘It does have something to do with the Vulpecula – I think.’ He sighed deeply. ‘But I can’t think straight any more … I don’t know whether it’s just wrong between us, or whether something bad has got to us.’

‘Luca, this is not like you.’ Dalya looked alarmed. ‘You have always been so clear-headed. You love Jane. She loves you.’

‘Yes. Yes, I do.’ He put his head in his hands. ‘Of course I do. But something has changed.’ He stared at her – a woman, but still young, still unaware of the complications that can tangle up a relationship. ‘Dalya, it’s so hard to be a good person … a good man. It is so much harder than I thought it would be.’