Dark Ice (27 page)

But she couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that again. She was sick of running and besides, it never did her any good. Her past was always there. And she needed this job and not only because of the salary. The quiet serenity her confines offered had been a godsend and she had found a semblance of comfort here. She wouldn’t give it up so easily. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

 
"Who made the request? And why me?" She knew exactly why her. But she needed to know how much Paul knew.

"I'm sorry Germaine, but I can't elaborate. Let's just say the request came from a very high source." There was discomfiture in the old man's voice and Germaine felt for him. "My boss told me a little bit of information about you that was not in your personnel files. He said it was not violating any confidentiality, but all the same I feel bad knowing things without your consent. I’m sorry that I have to ask you to do this."

He did sound sorry. Against her better judgment feelings of compassion for her boss welled inside her. She knew very well what it felt like to have to do something you didn’t want to do.

"Why should I do this? If you know enough to make you feel sorry for asking this of me, why should I agree?"

"Honestly, there is no reason you should. I don't know if I would have to strength to do it. But I do know that you are a beautiful and intelligent young lady with your whole life still ahead of you. It would be such a shame for you to hide away in the dark for the rest of your life."

Her heart beat a tattoo against her chest, his words hitting a place deep inside her that she had hidden long ago. She had been attractive once. Now the first thing that people saw was the angry red gash that ran across her face, marring what beauty she once had.

"Do this for yourself Germaine, put your demons to rest and live the rest of your life happy."

Could she dare hope that her demons could be put to rest? She had lost so much already. It was easier to hide in the dark. Safer. Your heart couldn’t shatter if you didn’t put it out there.
Live the rest of your life happy.
His words vibrated through her. The idea was heaven. And scary as hell.

Closing her eyes, Germaine whispered into the phone, "Okay, Paul. I’ll do it."

Now there was no turning back. She was going out—into the light. She
hoped it didn’t burn her.

~* * *~

Roman sat on the special shower seat that had been provided by the well meaning folks at the Veteran Affairs Unit. Its hard white plastic was cold and unwelcoming, reminding him of his four months in the hospital recovery unit. How he hated the damn thing. Cool water spilled down his back making him shiver. Still it wasn’t enough to take the heat out of his body. He’d been so hot since coming back. The burning heat inside him threatened to consume him if he didn’t get it under control soon.

His ever-so-helpful psychiatrist at the VAU suggested that writing about his experiences might be cathartic for him. Her words still reverberated resentfully through him.
“Not to be published of course! Nobody would actually ever read them! The military would deny all knowledge of incidences, and of you and your team.”

Bitterness welled inside him at the memory of being abandoned since he had been home. Sure they said they were there to help, but being unable to speak about his experiences in full, only made the memories sit and fester in his belly. The only time they actually materialized was in the dark. In searing clarity. Making his nights hell and his days exhausting. Not that he had much physical exertion to distract him lately. His physiotherapy was over and he had nothing to occupy his time.

So Roman had gone to the only people on the planet who could understand his plight. He went to his team, his brothers-in-arms. Drinking hard, they talked long into the night. But when the morning came and the hangover was gone, his brothers had returned to the training that would prepare them for another tour of duty. He was the only one left behind, unable to join them. The thought raised bile in his throat.

Anger boiled within him and he physically lashed out at anything within reach. His arm crutches clattered to the tiles. Fine-milled soap and bottles of expensive hair and bath products flew across the double shower cubicle. At least I’m able to be miserable in comfort, he thought bitterly. They had paid him dearly for his leg. For his memories. For his soul.

Roman buried his head in his muscular arms and roared in frustration, wondering if the constant ache in the center of his chest was ever going to get better? The physical pain in his leg had been excruciating, but still easier to deal with then the pain in his heart. At least his leg healed. Well, one leg had healed to leave scarring; the other had been amputated just above the knee. It was a good thing that the rest of him was in such great condition. The physiotherapy had taken less time than anticipated. His prosthetic leg had been fitted a lot earlier than expected, leaving him to get on with his life.

And that was where the trouble had really started.
What was the rest of his life?
All he had known was his once-happy life in a small town. With his mates from school and college. Most of them continued on to live nice, normal and neat lives.
What would they think of him now?
He had gone on to join the Navy. And the boy they had all assumed would turn out to be nothing had thrived and come into his own in the armed forces. Until the day they had recruited him for something special. Something secretive. Something deadly. And as it turned out, something that would change his life, and his heart, forever.

Roman gripped the shower seat as he breathed deep and tried to get a grip on his emotions. He had no idea what the rest of his life would hold, but for now he would follow the suggestion of the simpering little psychiatrist. He would write about his experiences. He would tell his tale. But first, he would do some research. He would find out how and why he and his team were chosen for their missions.

His plans were already in motion. He’d contacted his once-superiors to gain security access to the research information. Hopefully, he’d hear their decision soon. With a purpose in mind, Roman reached up and turned off the water. He grimaced as he leaned over and retrieved his arm crutches. He now had to maneuver around the things scattered on the floor.

He sat on the edge of the bath to dry himself, looking wistfully into the porcelain tub. He had missed his long luxurious baths while he was in the field, covered in dirt and grime. Back then, showers had been a sporadic luxury. He had yet to have a bath since being back. Getting in and out of the tub was still out of his capabilities and that is what annoyed him the most. He had been most capable once.

The trill of his telephone echoed through the bathroom and he quickly picked it up, glad to have a hands free unit that he took everywhere with him.

"Hello."

"Mr. Grisham? This is Paul Heathrow. We spoke yesterday regarding the access to some archive files?”

There was a pause on the phone. One which Roman had no intention of filling.

"Yes, well. I’ve called to say that you have the clearance necessary to access the files. You can start your research as of Monday morning."

Excellent. Now the real work could begin.

"Thank you, Mr. Heathrow. I’ll see you Monday."

He was about to hang up when the man added, "I’m afraid there is one condition that has been added to your request though. You will have to be assisted at all times by a fully qualified librarian."

Anger surged through Roman. How could he freely access all the information he needed if he was to be babysat by some quaint little librarian?

"That was not part of the agreement. I was lead to understand that I would have full security access."

"That is still correct, Mr. Grisham, but I have been told to give you an assistant. She is very capable and also has full security access. I believe you’ll find her discreet and very confidential. I’m sure there will be no problems."

Full security access? Why would they give someone else full access so easily after he fought so hard for it?

 
"What is the name of the assistant?" he demanded.

"Her name is Germaine Andrews. I can assure you, Mr. Grisham, that you’ll find her most adequate."

~* * *~

Monday morning shone bright, glaringly mocking Germaine's mood. She’d been regretting her moment of bravery all weekend. The only thing stopping her from fleeing the city altogether had been Paul's words vibrating through her head about the possibility of living her life happy. Away from her past.

Bracing herself, Germaine slid the security card through the machine that allowed her entry into the cold sterile room. It was so different from her safe haven downstairs. This room was bright. Harsh sunlight shone through sparkling windows and bounced off arctic white walls. She heard the constant whirring of machines, their incessant noise buzzing through her head.

Still there were only a handful of select employees who were able to venture into this section of the building. There would be very few people with whom she would have to interact. Fewer people who would stare at her scar and look at her with pity.
 

Paul stood at the doorway nervously fidgeting with a security tag. She walked over to greet him and he gave her shoulders a fatherly squeeze before he led her through another security door. She stifled the urge to inwardly cringe at the unaccustomed contact. She stiffened her resolve before allowing herself to be led into the room.
 

Germaine stifled an instinctive gasp. The handsome masculine man sitting at the small white table sent immediate electrical impulses coursing through her body. Never before had she reacted so instantaneously to a man. Her barriers were so strong that appealing good looks rarely affected her. Nothing productive would result from her yearnings and she cringed again and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"This is Mr. Grisham. He’s interested in doing some research and requires your assistance."

 
Paul spoke directly to Germaine, though her attention was still placed on the attractive man who remained seated. He lifted his head in a slow, predatory manner. His gaze rose to meet hers and she blinked. His dark brown eyes told her instantly that he didn’t want her assistance in any way, and she took a step back.

Placing his hands on the arm rests he used his upper strength to raise himself slowly from the chair until he was able to get his feet under him. Germaine swallowed as his biceps rippled from the effort.

He stood still for a fraction of a second before he started toward her. He had a lopsided gait that oozed sensuality. He was moving slowly and deliberately like a predator, even though his limp was pronounced. She shivered, and she had the feeling that he could move at the speed of light if needed.

She had met men like him before. They were dangerous. Deadly. She tried desperately to raise her emotional barriers against him. He stopped in front of her, completely ignoring Paul. He held out a strong deeply tanned hand.

 
"I’m Roman Grisham." A slight smile played against his hard mouth. Steeling herself, she reached out and grasped his hand firmly. She made sure she had a good firm hand shake. She needed to be on an equal footing with him. Well, as equal as anyone could be with this man.

"Germaine Andrews." It was all she could think to say. All rational thought slipped away as the warmth of his hand seeped through her and his gaze held hers.

Roman's grin widened into a genuine smile making him devastatingly handsome. "I’m sure we’re going to get along just fine Gerri."

Enjoy the first chapter from…

Ursa Major by Mary Winter

Sarah Doyle's job with a reputable Washington firm sends her to the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge to write an honest report about oil drilling. She's aided by Liam Phillips, owner of RoundTheBend Eco Tours. All she wants is a few weeks in the wilderness and to keep her personal opinions in check so she can write the unbiased report her firm requests. Get in and get out. That's what she's done in the past, and what she expects to do now. She hadn't counted on her sexy, rugged guide or the feelings he kindles inside her.

Liam is a man who will do anything to save his home and keep his secret safe. The remote countryside keeps his people hidden. It's their refuge and their home. He expects a stuffy political puppet, not a woman as untamed as the land he loves. His goal is to give Sarah the information she needs and send her back to Washington D.C. as soon as possible.

However, pressures back in Washington DC, and from Liam's people, are mounting. Sarah has to persevere for her own peace of mind, for an entire ecosystem, and for a people she doesn't even know. But time is running out and Liam may have to reveal his darkest secrets in order to save everything.

Chapter One

Sitting in the seat of the commuter plane, listening to the tinny vibration of metal, the whoosh of air currents buffeting the tiny craft, Sarah Doyle forced herself to uncurl her fingers from around the armrest and breathe deeply. After flying across the lower forty-eight states, then so far north that the sun never set this time of year, she expected she’d be less fearful of flying. Maybe the isolation was getting to her? Looking out the window over the Alaskan landscape, Sarah saw nothing except an occasional cabin and small settlements undeservedly called towns.