Dark of the Moon (5 page)

As nonchalantly as possible, I glanced over my shoulder. Connor was at the sidebar, filling his plate. I wanted to watch him. Even the way he scooped eggs was sexy. I wanted to know what he’d discovered when he went
searching for the abandoned campsite. I wondered if I should invite him to join us. Before I could decide, he strode past and settled at an empty table.

Ouch!
I tried not to grow concerned that in following my trail, he may have also somehow detected that I hadn’t shifted.

I turned my attention back to Daniel, but I felt Connor’s gaze homing in on me. The hairs on the nape of my neck prickled, but in a good way, causing my fears of discovery to dissipate. My hair was arranged in its usual no-frills, long braid, because today we’d be tending to Dark Guardian business. Part of me wished that I’d worn it down, but going for the feminine look had never been my style. I was all about projecting a tough image, even when I didn’t feel very tough. Maybe that was another reason that guys didn’t flock around me.

I didn’t want to be rude, so I tried to concentrate on Daniel. But I was very much aware of Connor studying me. Even though he wasn’t doing anything except eating, he kept drawing my attention like a magnet. Whenever my gaze shifted over to him, he didn’t look away. If anything he appeared irritated. Was he upset that I was enjoying breakfast with Daniel? Or was he still angry about being the first Guardian in generations to lose his mate? But if that was it, why was he looking at me and not Lindsey?

Daniel launched into a funny story about some
campers he’d recently guided into the forest, making me laugh. I discreetly observed Connor out of the corner of my eye. He was scowling. He did look away then, and I felt this strange sense of triumph. Could he be jealous? My heart gave a small unexpected leap at the idea.

There were other Shifter girls waiting for the arrival of their full moon who would need a mate. Would he turn to one of them, or was he sensing the same thing I was: an inescapable connection, as if there were a rope bridging us, tautening and pulling us together. Was he as confused by it as I was?

My gaze drifted back over to him. I’d always liked him, but his attention had always been on Lindsey. Now that he no longer had a destined mate, was he finally taking notice of me?

“And then the squirrel ran up my leg searching for nuts.”

I nearly spewed my coffee and my eyes went wide as I jerked my head around to stare at Daniel.

He gave me a wry grin and chuckled. “I thought that would get your attention.”

“I’ve been listening.”

“No, you haven’t.” He gave a meaningful nod in Connor’s direction. So much for my subtle observation. “But I can’t blame you for wondering about Connor. We’re all wondering.”

“Wondering what?”

“What exactly happened with him and Lindsey and Rafe—out there in the woods, during the full moon. None of them are talking.”

“It’s not really anybody’s business, is it?” My words came out tarter than I’d meant for them to, but I didn’t like people gossiping about my friends. “Sorry,” I said quickly. “Didn’t mean to snap at you like that, but well—”

“I know. You’re a team. It creates a bond. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Lucas, Kayla, Rafe, Lindsey, Connor, and I
were
a sherpa team. We usually worked together to lead campers into the forest. But our bond, our friendship, went beyond that. Although Kayla was new to our group, the rest of us had gone to school together. Daniel had just moved here from the Washington State area. They had Shifter sanctuaries out there, but everyone wanted to be skilled enough to be selected to protect the Wolford area. It was, like, the capital of the Shifter world—at least the North American contingent.

“Would you feel better if one of our best guardians was dead?” I asked. While the challenge should have meant a fight to the death, we’d evolved, become more civilized. Surely.

Daniel blushed. “Okay, I get it. Not my business.
Anyway, I’ll see you at the meeting.”

After he left, I looked back to where Connor had been sitting. The chair was empty. It was silly of me to feel a sense of loss, but I did. Even my appetite had abandoned me.

I took my tray to the kitchen and headed out. In my rush, I nearly rammed into Elder Wilde. He was Lucas’s grandfather. The Wildes were almost like royalty. For generations, a Wilde had served as our pack leader, always passing the position down to the eldest son. Lucas was an exception, but no one questioned his leadership after he fought his older brother for the right to lead us.

Elder Wilde’s surprisingly strong hands dropped down on my shoulders like lead weights. I nearly stumbled from the surprise of it. “Brittany, I’d sensed that you were back.”

Smelled me more like it, but he was too polite to say.

“The other elders and I would like to have a word with you in the treasures room.”

Great.
I couldn’t run. Even though he was old, when he was in wolf form he could outpace and outdistance me. I couldn’t hide. He’d sniff me out.

So I did the only thing I could do. I swallowed hard and nodded.

The Council of Elders was made up of three. They didn’t look all that bad considering they’d each been around for at least a century. They weren’t immortal, but the aging process was slowed by their healing ability. Still, Shifters do eventually age, and they were showing the signs. A little more bent, a little more withered and sporting manes of snowy white hair.

But their eyes were sharp, and damn it, their ability to scent probably was, too.

We were sitting in chairs near the fireplace. I felt as though the snarling wolves on the mantel were looking directly at me, passing judgment.

The elders studied me. I fought not to show any nervousness and prayed they wouldn’t ask me to demonstrate my ability to shift. It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that maybe we had to reveal our wolf form to them before we could shed our novice status. That was going to be a bit of a problem. I also realized that if Shifters possessed some sort of instinctual connection with one another—something like what Kayla had sensed with Lindsey—that the elders might also be able to tap into the fact that I hadn’t shifted. But if that was the case, wouldn’t they confront me about it?

I tried not to envision how it would go—the distrust they might exhibit.

“So,” Elder Wilde finally said.

I arched a brow. “So?”

He gave me an indulgent smile. “In all of our history, there is no record of a female surviving her first transformation alone.”

“There has to be a first time for everything, right?”

“Was it painful?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” I gave a self-conscious laugh. “I guess you would believe. You went through it, right?”

They all smiled. At least they’d retained their sense of humor.

Just don’t ask me to shift. Please don’t ask me to shift.

“We still believe it’s important that you find a mate,” Elder Wilde said.

Relief swamped me. If they were still trying to set me up, then they had to be sensing that I was a Shifter. So what had gone wrong? Would they have the answer if I confessed the truth? Would they decide I wasn’t up to being a Dark Guardian? With Bio-Chrome still a threat, I wanted to do what I could to protect Shifters. Even if I couldn’t yet shift, I truly believed that I could help, could make a difference, could have an impact.

I nodded quickly at his belief that I needed to find a mate. “Oh yeah, definitely. I’m totally up for that. I just want to do it at my own pace.”

“We were thinking of sending you to various other sanctuaries. We have them throughout the world. It could just be that, like your mother’s situation, your mate isn’t
here
. She found hers in Europe.”

My jaw dropped. I snapped it back up. My mom had never told me that little tidbit. I’d always assumed he was someone from around here. Was that the reason she went to Europe every summer? To be with him? Why hadn’t she ever told me? More importantly, why didn’t she take me with her to meet him? Maybe she wasn’t going to see him, maybe she was just trying to find him. Mom had always been so mysterious where my dad was concerned, like maybe she was ashamed of him or something. But
then why wouldn’t she be? He hadn’t hung around.

But as stunning as the revelation about my mother was, I was more concerned with what he was suggesting for me. “I don’t want to leave here, especially now with”—Connor no longer tied to Lindsey—“Bio-Chrome threatening us. Our very existence could be in jeopardy.”

“I told the others you would feel this way,” Elder Mitchell said. “You’ve always been one of our most loyal novices.”

“Definitely. I feel very strongly about this. We have to protect the pack. At all costs.” Even if that cost was lying until I understood what had happened to me. “Don’t send me away.”

“It’s not a punishment, Brittany,” Elder Wilde said. “It can be very lonely when everyone around you has a mate.”

“The pack comes first.”

Elder Wilde sighed as though I were suggesting something that would land me in detention. The elders looked at one another, arched brows, nodded. I knew that in wolf form, Shifters could read one another’s thoughts. I had a feeling the elders could do it when they weren’t in Shifter mode. I hoped they couldn’t read mine. Just to be safe, I fought to make my mind blank.

“You won’t find anyone more loyal than me,” I blurted. “Let me prove it.”

“We don’t question your loyalty,” Elder Wilde said. “We want what is best for you.”

“Staying is best for me.”

They did another round of head nodding.

Finally Elder Wilde sighed as though he’d lost the argument. “We’re in agreement. We need you while the Bio-Chrome threat is here. But destiny chooses our mates. If your mate is elsewhere, it’s not fair to you—or him—for us to hold you here forever.”

I could have told them that he wasn’t elsewhere. There was obviously a defect in me that wouldn’t cause that instant bonding. I was going to have to secure a mate the human way—by making him fall in love with me.

Good luck with that, Brittany.

I was more than ready to leave and decided my best course of action was to initiate the ending of the meeting. I tapped my watch. “Lucas is calling a meeting of the Dark Guardians. I should probably go.”

Elder Wilde smiled. “One more question.”

I nodded expectantly. They hadn’t been too hard so far.

“Did you what you were looking for in the ancient book?”

Okay, I should have expected that. I felt all the air leak out of me like a balloon. I considered denying it, but even I thought I could smell my scent from last night
lingering in here. Although that was probably just in my head or guilt making me sense things I couldn’t possibly sense. I shook my head.

“Would you like to share with us what you were seeking? Maybe we can be of assistance.”

“It’s really not important enough to bother you with.”

I expected them to question whether it was important enough to break rules over, but instead, Elder Wilde studied me quietly, giving me the impression that he knew
exactly
what I’d been searching for. I expected him to admonish me, or torture me, or make me confess the truth of my situation.

Instead, he simply said, “Well, you are right about our needing to get to the meeting. Your first as a full-fledged Dark Guardian. Should prove interesting.”

I kept my expression passive, even though I was stunned. That was it?

As I rose to my feet, Elder Wilde said, “Remember, Brittany, deception may give us what we want for the present, but it will always take it away in the end.”

For a minute, I thought he was sharing something he’d read in a fortune cookie, but then I realized he was way too serious.

“What are you talking about?” I asked nervously. Did they know the truth?

“May you never find out.”

As I followed them out of the room, I couldn’t help but feel that I was being tested in some way. But the greater test was Bio-Chrome. I knew I could help the Dark Guardians defeat them—but only if I was a Guardian.

If I didn’t shift during the next full moon, then I’d confess everything to the elders, ask for their guidance and assistance.

But for now, I was determined to be what I’d always longed to be: a Dark Guardian.

When we arrived at the council room, I hung back, respectfully waiting for the elders to take their place at the large round table that occupied the center of the room. Twelve additional chairs circled it. Eleven Guardians were standing behind their chairs. Kayla stood on one side of Lucas. Rafe, his second-in-command, was on the other side of him. Lindsey stood so close to Rafe that light could barely filter between their shoulders. Her fingers continually touched his, and then retreated, as though she couldn’t stand the thought of not having some skin-to-skin contact with him, but knew it was inappropriate here in the council room. Her golden eyes were focused on me, as though I were the only one in the room. They were imploring me to speak up, to reveal my ugly secret, to release her of the burden of truth she carried on her shoulders.

Sorry, Lindsey. No can do.

The chair between Connor and Daniel was empty. Staring at it, knowing it was designated for me, I swallowed hard. Every meeting before this one, I’d sat in a chair along a wall, the place designated for the novices. A Dark Guardian who hadn’t yet been caressed by a full moon. The significance of this meeting slammed into me. I was finally qualified to sit at the big table. Or so they all thought.

I knew I needed to move forward but my feet felt as though someone had super-glued them to the floor. More than moving forward, I knew Lindsey was right. I needed to confess my deep, dark secret. I knew I did. I knew it was wrong to place my butt in a chair that rightfully belonged to a warrior. I needed to just suck it up, accept the reality of—

Lucas grinned at me, his silver eyes teasing. “Come on, Brittany. I don’t know anyone who’s wanted—or deserved—this moment more than you.”

So true. No one else put in the hours working out like I did. No one else ate as healthily—and boringly—as I did. Chocolate hadn’t passed between my lips in years. I’d wanted to be the best Dark Guardian ever. No reason I couldn’t be. I was smart and strong. I’d trained in the martial arts. I knew this wilderness as well as I knew every feature of Connor’s face. I’d willingly die for the Shifters—without hesitation or regret.

What did it matter if I hadn’t yet shifted? I’d been pre
pared to pull my weight before my full moon. My devotion, my readiness hadn’t changed.

With a deep breath, I strode forward to stand behind the empty chair beside Connor. Dark blond bristles shadowed his face as though he hadn’t bothered to shave since the last full moon. His hair was combed back in its usual style but looked as though he’d merely used his fingers rather than a comb to arrange it. He’d never looked sexier. As wrong as it was, I drew strength from his nearness, as though I could actually feel the warmth of his body reaching out to mine.

With a scraping of chairs over the stone floor, everyone took a seat.

Connor leaned over and I caught a whiff of his unique earthy scent. “Welcome to the big table,” he whispered in a low voice.

Holding his blue gaze, I fought not to grin like an idiot, not only because I was sitting at the big table but because he was there beside me, acknowledging me. “Thanks. How’s the arm?”

His eyes hardened and I realized
that
was not exactly the best conversation starter. I should have gone with, “What did you discover out there about the snare?”

“Healed,” he said curtly, and whatever camaraderie might have been developing between us came to a screeching halt. He turned his attention to Lucas.

Because I could feel Daniel studying me, I smiled at him. He gave me a thumbs-up. He really was a nice guy. We just didn’t have any chemistry.

“As most of you know,” Lucas began and I directed my attention to our leader, “we recently found a lab that Bio-Chrome had set up at the northeastern edge of the forest. They captured Connor, Kayla, and me—but we managed to escape with help from Lindsey and Rafe.”

I slid my gaze over to Lindsey and Rafe. His hair was as dark as mine, but that was where our similarities ended. His eyes were brown and so full of adoration for Lindsey that I was stunned to realize how much inner strength it must have taken for him to keep all those emotions hidden away. But was I really any different when it came to what I felt for Connor?

We believed in destiny, that our mates were kindred souls. I shifted my gaze over to Connor and it collided with his. My heart slammed against my ribs with the intensity of his stare. Was he watching me so closely because he was suddenly interested or was it because he was beginning to sense that I didn’t belong at this table?

Soul mates were supposed to be able to decipher each other’s thoughts. Could I even afford to have a mate now? Or would my thoughts always be locked away from other Shifters?

“Then on the way back to Wolford, Brittany came across a snare,” Lucas announced.

I heard a couple of sharp intakes of breath as the other Guardians turned their attention expectantly to me. As much as I wanted to lie about it, I knew doing so would put Shifters in danger. “I don’t know if Bio-Chrome set it,” I admitted.

“They did,” Connor said. “I checked it out last night. Picked up a scent.”

Panic caused my stomach to flutter. How was I going to explain why I hadn’t picked up the scent? Was I going to have to come clean about what hadn’t happened during the full moon?

“Mason’s?” Kayla asked. She and Mason had been friends earlier in the summer before she discovered what they planned for the Shifters.

“No,” Connor answered, before meeting Lucas’s gaze. “It was the scent of one of the mercenaries Bio-Chrome hired to help them find us. I figure Brittany didn’t recognize it because she wasn’t with us when we were captured.”

I fought not to reveal how relieved I was with that explanation. When they’d been captured, I’d been with a group of girls camping in the forest.

“I found three other snares,” Connor continued. “They followed the river. I didn’t find any evidence of
them scouting nearby, but it’s just a matter of time.”

Lucas nodded. “Good work, Brittany.”

Normally I enjoyed praise, but I felt like a fake accepting it for something I’d simply stumbled across. “I just got lucky.”

“
Lucky
Bio-Chrome wasn’t around,” Daniel muttered.

“So what are we going to do about the lab?” I asked.

Lucas gave me a patient smile. He, too, was dark, but his hair was a medley of colors: brown, black, silver, white. It made him a very easily identifiable wolf to humans. “Best case scenario: We destroy the lab, but that’s tricky. We can’t burn it without risking the forest. Even though it’s not located inside the national forest itself, it’s still surrounded by trees. A fire doesn’t respect property lines. But we do know a Shifter who owns a company that implodes buildings for demolition. I’m going to meet with him. See what he recommends.”

My granddad, my mom’s father, had once taken me to watch an old hotel being taken down. It was in the middle of a city, buildings all around it. They’d reduced it to rubble without damaging anything else in the vicinity. It had actually been pretty cool to watch.