Dark Side of the Moon (29 page)

“Well, yeah.  I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet.”

“What do you mean, Selina?  We’re here, leading the pack.”

“Yeah, but that’s not very often, London.  Essentially, we’re just sitting here until the full moon or we get the urge to run.  I want to do something.”

“You have a hobby.”

I scoffed.  “A hobby to do every now and then.  And if I go to school for an art major, then I’ll be able to improve my work.”

“You don’t have to pay money to do that, Selina.  It just takes practice.”

“I’ve already selected my classes and paid off the first semester’s tuition, London.  I want to go to school.”

He looked me over for a moment.  “What about the body aches?  We won’t be able to see each other if you’re in Charleston, and they will render both of us incapacitated, which means we can’t paint or go to class.”

That thought had crossed my mind.  “Why don’t you come with me, London?  We can rent an apartment close to campus that way we’re not too far from each other.  Or you could enroll, too.”

He gave me a look of disbelief.  “I can’t just leave the pack, Selina.  It’s the same thing about having a honeymoon all over again.”

“Then leave Artemis and Channing in charge while we’re away.  I’m sure they’re very capable of handling it.”

“Yeah, and what’s going to happen when we come back?  They’re not going to want to go back to being betas after having a taste of being alphas.  The pack will be theirs, and we’ll be out of a home.  Besides, I don’t even know if there’s a pack in Charleston or if they’ll let us be there for an extended period of time without joining them.  I just can’t go there with you.  And don’t even suggest moving the pack with us; everyone’s established here and may not want to move on a whim just so you can go to school.”

Anger coursed through my veins.  “So I’m just supposed to sit here bored out of my mind while you paint?”

“No, you can do whatever you want.  But traveling across the state when you know it’s not possible is out of the question.”

“You have never bossed me around before, London, and there’s no way you can do it now.  I want to do something with my life, not sit here doing nothing, just existing,” I sternly said.

“I’m not bossing you around, Selina.  It’s just not possible for either of us to go to this school you want to go to.  Find something else to do.”

It was getting harder to breathe with my heart pounding in anger and my chest constricting with pain.  How dare he tell me what I can and can’t do?  I was not his subordinate, but his equal.  Not knowing what else to do and not wanting to say something I’d probably regret, I just stormed out of the room, going down the stairs.

Slamming the front door open, not caring if it left a dent in the wall, I stormed to my car, and fumbled with my keys.  After I had the door open, I saw London standing in the doorway.  I didn’t look at him for long, fighting back frustrated tears.

Putting my car into drive, I sped off.  My first thought was to go to my parents because they’ve always been there for me when I had problems.  But they wouldn’t understand why London couldn’t come with me to college or why I couldn’t just go without him.  So I went to the only other place I could think of where I could speak freely; Artemis and Channing’s.

They had gotten their own place shortly after graduating.  I knew where it was, but I had been focused with being in the honeymoon phase with London that I didn’t go over there often.  I pulled into their driveway a few minutes later, still fighting back tears.  I had no idea if London could have called the betas to let them know what happened.  As I approached the door, Artemis opened it, concern on her face.  It was very unlike us to just show up at each other’s houses unannounced, so she knew something was wrong.

As soon as I got to her, she took me into her arms.  “Everything’s going to be okay, Selina.  Channing’s on the phone with him now.”

“I don’t want him coming over.”

“You hear that, Channing?” she called to her mate, ushering me inside.

“Yeah,” he answered.

After Artemis closed the door, she led me through the house to their guest room.  I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands, unable to hold my tears in any longer.  Artemis sat beside me while I sobbed, rubbing my back in an attempt to comfort me.

We stayed like that for a while, neither of us moving and Channing staying away.  I didn’t even know if he was in the house or not.  As I calmed down and caught my breath, Artemis asked, “Do you want to talk about it, Selina?”

I wiped my cheeks and under my eyes, taking a deep breath.  “London and I got into a fight.”

“Over what?”

“I had applied at several colleges before I moved to Moonlight Falls.  I was accepted at a few of them, and planned to go to the same one as my friends.  My classes were picked and tuition for the semester paid.  I want to go, not just sit here and do pack stuff or paint all the time.  I don’t want to go through those awful aches, so I suggested London come with me and we could get an apartment and he could see about enrolling.  He said that wasn’t possible because he couldn’t leave the pack.  I then suggested having you and Channing in charge while we were gone.  He became pissed and told me that I could just not go.  Everything just escalated from there until I left.  I don’t know what to do, Artemis.”

She continued to rub my back, and spoke softly.  “He can’t just abandon his pack, Selina.  Not when it’s been in his family since the town was founded.  And he wouldn’t want for Channing and me to take over his pack and kick him out or have a rival pack take us over.  Have you looked into online classes?”

“As an art major?”  I shook my head.  But that wasn’t the best idea for that made me feel nauseous.  “Bathroom?”

“Out and to the right.”

I followed her directions, and barely made it to the toilet in time.  After expelling my lunch and dry heaving a couple times, I tried to wash up as best as I could.  Artemis stood in the doorway to the guest room when I came out.

“He’s got you worried sick,” she said, shaking her head.  “Why don’t you stay here and rest for a while?”

I barely nodded so I wouldn’t get sick again.  Venturing back into the guest room, I closed the door behind me, and slipped off my shoes and jeans.  When I slipped into the bed, tears formed again.

Why couldn’t London see that I didn’t want to sit at home all the time, twiddling my thumbs?  That wasn’t a life, just an existence.  And I just couldn’t do that.

It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest.  I didn’t want to fight with my mate, but I couldn’t let him decide everything for me.  Were all of the others who were mated off like this?  Artemis and Channing seemed happy, as in I never heard of them having a fight.  But then again, I didn’t know everything about their relationship, just what they showed to everyone or told me.

With all of these thoughts flowing through my head, I didn’t know how I dozed off.  One minute, I blinked, and the next, I heard the front door opening.  Channing didn’t even try to be quiet as he came into the house.  How long was he gone, and where did he go?

Getting up, I put my pants and shoes back on.  Channing and Artemis were talking, but I wasn’t paying attention to their conversation.  I was more focused on my own situation and what to do about it.

Their conversation stopped when I opened the door.  Following their scents, I found them in the kitchen.  A brown bag was on the counter.  Artemis gave me a small smile, but Channing spoke first.  “Hey, Selina.  I got some Chinese if you want to stay for dinner.”

“Thanks, Channing.  I…don’t think I can go back home just yet,” I said not looking at them.

“We understand,” he said, opening the brown bag that must have the food in it.

The scent of it quickly wafted over to me.  My stomach rumbled with hunger.  Or so I thought.  As Channing took the food out of the bag, bile rose in my throat.  I headed to the bathroom as fast as I could, barely making it in time.

After I cleaned up, I noticed Artemis in the doorway, her hands behind her back.  “Okay, you were upset last time, but I don’t think that’s the reason this time,” she told me.

“I must have caught something, then.  Hopefully it’s not contagious.”

“I don’t think it is, Selina.”  She brought her hands out from behind her.

My eyes widened at what she held.  “No.  There’s no way, Artemis.”

“You don’t know that, Selina.  And what would it hurt to just see?” she asked, setting the box on the counter.  Then, without another word, she walked out, closing the door behind her.

I started at the box.  I couldn’t be pregnant.  I was way too young for a baby.  And London and I haven’t been mated for long.

But what if I was?

A few minutes later, I was pacing in the bathroom, waiting for the result.  Artemis knocked on the door, asking if she could come in.  After I opened the door, she looked at me expectantly.  “It’s still working,” I told her, checking the strip again.  “So I’m guessing the reason why you have pregnancy tests is because you and Channing are trying?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

“Yeah, but we haven’t had any luck yet.  I’m due to take another test soon.  These are the new ones that tell you the approximate conception date, too.”

Well, that didn’t really help since London and I have been at it practically every day since we were mated.  In a way, I should have expected this because we have gone at it so much.  But I had no idea what I was going to do if the test turned out positive.  A baby wasn’t going to fix mine and London’s problem.

A moment later, Artemis urged me to check the test.  I took a deep breath before I picked it up.  Artemis leaned over my shoulder to look at it with me.

It was positive, and said five to six weeks.

I slowly let out my breath.  What was I going to do?  I wasn’t ready for a baby, and I wasn’t sure if London was either.  I mean, I met him barely seven months ago, and have only been married to him for just a month.

Artemis broke the silence by quietly asking, “What are you going to do, Selina?”

“I have no idea,” I breathed, still looking at the test.

“You should at least go tell London.  He deserves to know.”

I nodded, finally moving to throw the test away.  Though I was still mad at him, I should let him know that I was carrying his child.  “Thanks for letting me stay here, Artemis.  I don’t want you or Channing calling him when I leave.  If he calls, don’t tell him anything.”

She nodded and followed me to the front door.  After telling her and Channing bye, I ventured out to my car, and drove off.  My brain was an absolute mess as I returned home, thinking about all of the possible outcomes for my future.  In none of them, though, did I see us parting ways.

The house was quiet when I arrived.  His car wasn’t in the driveway.  Was he out looking for me?  There weren’t many places I would go, so he wouldn’t be gone long.

After I was in the house, I ventured upstairs to the bedrooms.  Across the hall from our bedroom were our respective studios.  One of them was going to have to be cleared to make room for the baby.

I went to my studio and looked around.  There were several finished, unfinished, and just started projects around the room.  My favorite was the one London and I had worked on right after our wedding day, a portrait of us as our wolves howling at the moon.  I was about to approach it when I heard the front door open.

London quickly ascended the stairs.  I didn’t move from my spot, thinking about what I was going to say to him.  I really didn’t want to fight with him again, but I needed him to understand where I was coming from.

When he opened the door, I took a deep breath.  But he spoke first.  “I figured you were on your way to Charleston.”  His voice had a bit of hardness to it, telling me he was still mad about earlier.

“Without my stuff?” I somehow responded.

“You could have called for it later.”

I wrapped my arms around myself.  “Even though I want to go, I can’t leave you, London.”

“Why?”

My back was to him.  “Because I love you.  Because I know we both have a duty to the pack.  Because…” But I just couldn’t get those next two words to come out.

London approached me, and startled me by wrapping his arms around me.  “Because what, Selina?”

“I got sick a couple times while I was at the betas’ place.  Artemis made me take a test, and…I’m pregnant, London.”

“Really?”

I barely nodded, not wanting to get sick again.

“I’ll clear out my stuff so the baby can be up here with us,” he said, his hands moving down to gently caress my stomach.

“I don’t want to just sit here all the time, London.”

“What would you do if you have a degree, Selina?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped here, but going to school on the other side of the state isn’t possible.  More so now that I have to make sure you and the baby are safe.”  He moved to stand in front of me, and gently cupped my cheeks.  “We’ll figure everything out, Selina.  Just one day at a time, okay?”

I barely nodded again, tears forming.