DARK SOULS (Dark Souls Series) (34 page)

She paused, allowing the meaning of her words to sink in. My mother must have known, I thought. She must have known it was okay for me to enter the real world, allowing her to finally release her pain and stop her torment. I was seven when she left me and tried to kill herself.

“The demon in you settled down, allowing you to be human and therefore be undetected while your powers grew within you.” Ettie said, bringing me back to the present. “Essentially, a Cambion can go their entire lives never knowing what they really are. Resembling a human and never using their powers. Living a contended, normal life.”

I looked down at her then, feeling my own torment. “Why wasn’t that me?”

“Honey, I’m afraid there was no chance of that happening with you. Not once you moved to New York City. Not when the Hunter made his home here.”

There it was. That dreaded word, the
Hunter
, being described to me in fear once again.

“He’s in our midst, and he’s killing mercilessly,” she continued, her little body quaking with her words.

“How would the Hunter’s presence affect me, though? I’m—I was—just a normal girl. My biggest problem was trying to be as fashionable as my best friend!”

Ettie stiffened. I heard the sounds of the other staff returning, their voices wafting through the doors to the kitchen. Her eyes were alert as she attempted to finish telling me as much as she could before we were interrupted. “The demon-half of a Cambion needs to be triggered in order to be awakened. Usually, that trigger is coming across another demon.”

My thoughts immediately shot to Rob. “I was confronted by another demon. A—a Melix, I think it’s called. At a party a few months ago.”

“I see. But you’re how old? Nineteen? At that point another demon shouldn’t have affected you, especially such a low-sect one. You were well into settling down as a human. In order to sense him, you must have already been in a heightened state. Tell me, were you feeling okay when he approached you? Were you feeling like it was just a normal night?” She stood up, brushing at her slacks as she glanced at the door, coming closer to me in order to speak in a low voice.

“No, actually,” I said, frowning. “I didn’t feel well at all. I felt sick, clammy. Like I was going to pass out any second. And then he touched me and I just...exploded. All I wanted was to destroy him.”

“Just as I thought,” Ettie said. “You were triggered by something well before coming across the Melix. The demon within you was already priming itself for action.”

“I—I don’t understand,” I said, trying desperately to make sense of her words. “Why would my demon-self be triggered to destroy another demon?”

“There you are. You’re finally getting to the meat of it, thankfully. We don’t have a lot more time.” She looked through the small opening into the main room and saw the other waitresses straightening the tables. So far, none were choosing to come into the kitchen, and for that I was thankful. I was even more thankful that the head chef was a smoker and was probably still outside getting in one last puff before coming in.

Ettie took a deep breath before saying something that shocked me to such an extent I actually backed away from her. “Consider yourself the apocalypse, honey.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I have to be fast. That’s why the Warriors are so,
so
interested in you. That’s why the Trine wants you. You’ve noticed that you consume demons like they’re the most delicious-tasting ice cream you’ve ever had, right?”

I nodded mechanically, stiffly.

“That’s because you’re
absorbing
them. You’re making your demon stronger. You’re consuming their evil and letting it flow through you. You are giving yourself power.”

“I...what?” I said again, honestly unable to come up with anything else to say.

“Each time you consume a demon,” she said, leaning her head closer to me and speaking slower for my benefit, “you are losing a piece of your humanity. You are giving more control to your demon. Your demon doesn’t inhabit hosts like most of us do.” She took a deep breath, her voice trembling, “Your demon
grows
.”

We both jumped when the kitchen doors were slammed open. “Hi-ho!” one of the sous chefs said as he adjusted his jacket. “What’s cookin’?”

“Hi Henry. Just a minute, okay?”

Ettie sounded so normal responding Henry, looking as if she were just explaining to me tonight’s menu. No wonder she was able to stay under the radar for so long. Her disguise was masterful.

“No,” I whispered to her when she turned back to me, unable to comprehend her words. But the darkness pressed against me, telling me that she was right.

“You’ve already been feasting. Look at you,” she whispered. “You are vastly different from the first time I met you. You’re completely
different than you were even a month ago.”

I nodded again, my expression frozen. “I didn’t know... I didn’t know. You didn’t tell me!”

She shushed me, quietly. Henry glanced over, but understanding the situation, busied himself with organizing vegetables. “You have to be careful. If you continue consuming demons at the rate that you are, you will no longer have any control. You will go on a gluttonous rampage and consume
everything.
You will become so powerful that you will literally destroy demonkind.”

“But—but, that’s good, right?” I asked, logic surprisingly breaking through my scattered thoughts. “I’m ridding the world of evil. Saving humanity.”

Ettie gripped my arm lightly, pulling me to the kitchen exit as more staff began to wander in. She pasted a smile on her face even as her words became more and more sinister. “You will be unstoppable. When you’re finished with the demons, you will move onto something else.”

I didn’t have to hear her answer to know. My stomach sank, my heart crashing to the floor. “I’ll go after humankind,” I whispered.

“Yes. Honey,” she said, leaning in close to my ear. “You’re demonkind’s worst enemy. You’re humankind’s greatest enemy. You are going to destroy everything.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

You are the apocalypse. You are going to destroy everything.

Those words haunted me as I walked woodenly around the city, unsure where I was going or where I would end up. All I could feel were those words, slithering across my skin, invading my soul.

Finally, I had answers. But those answers terrified me.

I had left Ettie in a blind panic, barely glancing back at her as I shot out of the kitchen exit and flew through the back alley and into the rain, trying to shut her words out of my thoughts.

“There’s a way to stop it!” she called after me, her words fading quickly as I moved into a blur.

I stopped, turning my head only slightly back to her, refusing to let her see the weakness within me, the little girl scrambling, panicking and pounding her bloodied fists inside me. Rain poured down my face as I stood before her.

“Destroy the Trine,” she said, her body framed in shadow as she stood in the doorway.

I breathed in and out, in and out raggedly, in response.

“Destroy the Trine,” she repeated before adding, “And reclaim your humanity.”

“Why...” I started, but had to take another deep breath before continuing, “Why have you told me this?”

“Because I’m an old, tired soul,” she replied, her voice lowering in exhaustion. “I just want peace. I just want to do what’s right. You deserve what’s right.”

I fled then, moving as fast as I could, winding down streets, blowing a deceptive wind across pedestrians’ faces as I whipped by them in despair.  It was raining torrentially now, but I didn’t care.

You have your answers now
, the darkness whispered.
Let me out...

“No.
No
,” I cried out loud. “I will not let you win. I
won’t.
”

But how could I stop it? Already my stomach was starting to clench with need, begging for another demon to fill it.

You must destroy the Trine
...

Ettie’s last words floated around me as I ran, tempting me and hurting me at the same time. Destroy the only other people capable of exterminating demons? Destroy the only people who could
eradicate them without bringing about the end of the world? How did that make sense? How was I supposed to move forward after this?

You’re a Cambion
, the dark flame whispered,
Embrace who you are....enjoy it...

“No, no, no,” I said again, before whipping into Central Park and sprawling against a tree, sinking down in sorrow. The old oak was cool against my cheek as I slid down and I clutched at the wide trunk for comfort, though I knew it would give me none in return. The oak remained sturdy beneath my grip, offering me its strength, and its strength alone.

I curled into a ball and cried.

I have no idea how long I sat there in the storm, clutching at the tree, begging for comfort. By the time I opened my eyes again, it was dark, the moonlight pale in comparison to the city lights that bordered me. The clouds remained high in the sky; dark sentries that covered the stars and blanketed the city.

I needed to go home.

I slowly picked myself up off the ground, barely noticing the mud that covered me, or the soaked strands of hair that stuck to my face. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I walked like a regular human back to my apartment, refusing to draw upon the power anymore. I just wanted to go back to normal, live the normal life that I was so blissfully happy in, and forget about my new, twisted truth that sloshed around like a slug in my brain.

“I should have let the venom kill me,” I whispered.  

The darkness within me laughed, its menace swirling.
I’ll never let you die...

It took over an hour to walk home from Midtown, but I didn’t even register the walk, or the people passing me, or the cars and sirens blasting around me. All I registered was her, lying in a deep chasm inside me, waiting.

With more strength than necessary, I shoved the front door of my apartment open, wincing at the splintering sound as a crack streaked its way across the wooden frame. I’d have to answer for that later.

Pale light greeted me. The city lights filtered into my two windows, dusty streaks that illuminated my bed and shadowed the rest of my furniture. Flicking on the bedside lamp, I made my way to the kitchen.

I went to the fridge, searching for a message from Macy.

Whenever one of us needed something and couldn’t get ahold of the other, either by cell or otherwise, we would go old school and slap a post-it note on the fridge with our whereabouts and any instructions. Sure enough, I spotted my Macy’s curlicue handwriting on a neon pink post-it, stuck precariously between my list of essentials and a Mickey Mouse magnet that I had fallen in love with during my first trip to Disneyland, barely eight years old. It had “EMILY” scrawled below Mickey’s dancing feet. Seeing my name in print, seeing that I had existed, gave me such a feeling of belonging that I made sure to take it with me when I left Cold Spring at seventeen, despite the fading letters. The Y in my name had faded to such an extent that it now looked like “EMIL.” Macy got such a kick out of it that for a full year after we met she would only refer to me as Emil.

Came here with goal of dragging your ass out of the apt
, Macy wrote,

Even brought my make-up bag.

Consider yourself LUCKY.

For now.

Then, as an afterthought:

Call me.

Let me know u’re ok.

I winced with guilt. I could yell at her, slap her hand away,
scare
her, and yet she still came here. She was still worried about me. I bent down and pulled the post-it off the fridge, wrapping it in my damp hand, her words smearing as I turned to find my cell phone. I dropped my bag by the door when I fell into the apartment. I walked the few feet, suddenly uncomfortable with the silence that surrounded me. The only sounds were the muffled movements of other tenants, a random footstep or two, a quick thunk of something hitting another.

I checked the clock beside my bed, and saw that it was nine o’clock in the evening. I’d totally bailed on my shift at Butterfield, but something told me that’s what Ettie preferred right now. It’s definitely what I preferred.  

After texting Macy I was home, I decided to prepare for her arrival and the inevitable lecture that would follow by turning on the tiny television across from the foot of my bed and try to be normal for a little while longer. I was desperate for a little forget-I’m-a-demon time, and planned to watch a little reality television. It had been so long since I had just turned on the TV and zoned out, and I was dying for some normalcy.

But as I turned around, away from the front door, my bedside lamp flickered and I instinctively looked toward it.

And screamed.

Curled just above the lamp, caught in its tunnel of light, her head upside down and fangs gleaming, perched a Leiche on the wall. Her eyes flashed red out of the child’s body she inhabited.

I cursed myself for staying still long enough to even scream, and immediately shot backwards in an attempt to launch myself through doorway and out into the hallway. Where I would go after that, I didn’t know. My instincts were taking over, and they were just screaming at me to run.

I shot right into another Leiche. 

While smaller than me, she was still able to weave her arms tightly around my waist, trapping my arms at my sides. I cursed myself again for wearing a long sleeved t-shirt. Protected by my clothing, the Leiche could hold me without feeling any burn.

I pulled at the darkness, feeling her slide up and into my throat like thick black tar, spreading out and coating my mind. As much as I hated her, as much as I hated what drawing upon her would do to me, I needed her to survive.

My body surged with her power as I lurched backwards, rolling my back over the top of the Leiche’s head, causing her to lose her balance, and sending both of us falling backwards. With her head trapped under me, she was unable to move her mouth into a position where she could bite me and I pressed down harder with my back, hoping to suffocate her while simultaneously moving my hands behind me to touch her skin and begin her destruction.