Dark Spaces (40 page)

Jack nodded his thanks and jumped in. Lilly got in the passenger seat.

‘Oh no you don’t,’ said Jack. ‘You need to stay here.’

‘You think I’m sitting at home while your mad girlfriend is out there somewhere with my little girl?’

Jack’s face was grey but he gunned the engine and set off. They worked their way carefully through the snow, skidding occasionally. When they reached the village boundary, Jack stopped at the crossroads.

‘Which way?’ Panic made Lilly’s voice shrill.

‘Maybe up there?’ Jack gestured to the left turn, snaking up to the Downs. ‘It’s a short cut back to mine.’

Lilly felt her chest constrict. ‘It will be completely treacherous up there.’

‘The trouble with Kate is that she thinks she’s invincible,’ said Jack, pulling left.

Lilly punched the dashboard and yelped as the pain bounced through the bandages.

‘Are you going to tell me what happened?’ Jack asked.

‘Haven’t you already heard through the police bongo drums?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘But I thought it might be nice to hear it from you.’

‘At a time like this you still want to score points?’

The car reached the top of the hill, and Jack slowed to make their descent down the other side. If the tyres lost their grip, it was a long way to slide.

‘It’s not about point scoring, it’s about respect,’ he said.

‘Respect?’ Lilly was incredulous. ‘What respect did you show me when you threatened to take Alice?’

He didn’t answer. Instead, he just stared down the hill. Halfway down, a car was overturned in the road.

‘No.’ Lilly jumped from the car. ‘Alice?’ She ran to the wreck.

Jack caught up and checked inside. ‘Empty,’ he said.

‘Jesus Christ.’ Lilly looked around wildly. ‘Where are they?’

The wind howled across the Downs, snow flaying their faces. How long could a baby in her pyjamas last in this weather? Lilly stumbled out into the dark night, calling her daughter’s name. There was no one here. Just miles of rolling hills, all blanketed white.

Behind her, Jack called out, but she couldn’t hear him above the wind. She backtracked towards him, using her footprints to ease her steps. After a few strides she groaned at her own stupidity. Lilly wouldn’t be the only one leaving footprints. She screwed her eyes, trying to pick out a fresh track. There. Leading from the car, down a steep bank to the right. Lilly waded towards it, slotting her feet in the marks left by Kate. The other woman was younger and fitter, the prints wider apart, but Lilly followed them one by one until they led to a channel.

The going was hard and Lilly’s legs turned to lead and her chest began to sting.

‘Alice,’ she called, but the blizzard threw the words straight back at her.

Up ahead was an ancient tree. Bare branches amputated to stumps. Lilly lumbered towards it, then leaned against its trunk to catch her breath.

What was Kate thinking, coming out here?

‘Alice,’ Lilly screamed again in desperation.

This time the tree seemed to provide her words with shelter and they weren’t batted back at her. Instead, she heard a different sound. A cry. She listened harder. Definitely a cry. It had to be Alice.

Lilly let go of the tree and ran on, her feet in time with Kate’s, matching her, print for print.

The cries became louder and Lilly thought she saw a figure through the snow. She picked up her pace. Yes. Up ahead. A figure.

Kate was making her way across a ridge. The footpath was narrow. Below was a drop of a hundred feet, maybe more. Lilly felt her feet struggle for purchase.

‘Kate,’ she shouted. ‘It’s not safe.’

The figure up ahead lost its footing, putting out one arm for balance. Lilly screamed. If Kate fell, she would take Alice with her.

‘Kate, please stop. You and Jack can have Alice, just please keep her safe.’

The figure stopped instantly. Waited. Then turned.

It was Kate, a smile on her face, Alice in her arms. The baby was soaking wet, hair plastered to her scalp, shivering.

‘Take her home with Jack,’ Lilly told her. ‘Do whatever you want, just do it now.’

Kate cocked her head to one side like a bird. ‘You’ll give her up as easy as that?’ she asked.

Lilly held out her arms, as if she could steady Kate from where she stood. ‘Of course.’

‘You won’t fight for your daughter?’

Lilly began to cry. ‘You win, Kate.’ She sank to the ground. ‘You and Jack have ground me down. He’s back there if you want him.’

‘We’re going to be a family.’

Lilly nodded and buried her head in her hands, sobbing.

Kate inched her way back along the ridge. When she came alongside Lilly she paused. ‘Actually, Lilly, I’m rather disappointed.’

Lilly looked up at the other woman. For the second time that night, she knew she was in the presence of sheer madness.

‘Fuck you,’ she shouted and circled Kate’s legs, bringing her down onto her back like a felled tree. Then she pulled back her arm and punched Kate square in the mouth. Kate screamed and her hands flew to her face, releasing Alice.

Lilly grabbed her baby and held her close under her coat. Alice clung on for dear life.

‘You hit me.’ Kate sounded affronted. ‘You actually hit me.’

‘I didn’t want to disappoint.’

*   *   *

Lilly and Jack sat in the back of a police car, while Kate was taken away. Neither could let go of Alice, who lay over both their legs, fast asleep in a blanket.

‘I think I’m done with women,’ said Jack.

‘I know I’m done with men,’ Lilly replied.

Chapter Fifteen

The following morning the sun shone. It was a perfect day for playing in the snow before it melted. Sam was outside with Alice, holding her up to an icicle, encouraging her to catch the drips with her tongue.

Lilly watched them with a smile and tried to wash a cup with the hand that wasn’t bandaged. When she dropped it back in the soapy water for the second time, David took it from her.

‘Cara’s asked me to come home,’ he said.

‘What did you say?’ Lilly asked.

‘Nothing yet,’ he said. ‘I wanted to talk to you first.’

‘Me?’

‘I didn’t stop loving you, Lilly, just because you kicked me out,’ he said.

‘I didn’t kick you out,’ she retorted.

He held up his hands. ‘The point is I never wanted to leave and if you wanted me to stay now, I would.’

She didn’t answer. David was a good man. A flawed man, but a good one. Not so long ago, he had made her heart skip a beat just by walking into the room.

It was going to break Sam’s heart when he left.

Sheba met Lilly at the Grove. She looked incredible for a woman who had given birth so recently.

‘You are looking at the new senior medic,’ she told Lilly.

‘Isn’t it a bit soon?’ Lilly asked. ‘What about maternity leave?’

Sheba waved her away. ‘Women like us need our work.’

‘Speaking of which,’ said Lilly. ‘I need to speak to Chloe.’

‘
Mi casa, tu casa
,’ said Sheba.

Lilly made her way to Chloe’s room. She hadn’t put her hand up to knock when it opened.

‘Lilly.’ Chloe hugged her tight. ‘Lilly, are you all right?’

Lilly laughed. ‘I’ll live.’

Chloe led her into the room by the hand. Sunshine streamed in. ‘Is he dead?’ she asked.

‘No,’ said Lilly. ‘He’s recovering in hospital. When he’s well enough, he’ll be charged with your rape.’

‘Will I have to give evidence?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good,’ said Chloe.

‘And Jack’s reinvestigating Lydia’s murder,’ said Lilly. ‘You’re still under suspicion, but he needs to be sure Harry didn’t kill her.’

Chloe wandered to the window and traced a water droplet with her finger as it meandered down the pane. ‘They won’t find any evidence against him for that,’ she said.

‘No?’

‘No.’ Chloe turned around and smiled sadly. ‘Lydia killed herself.’

‘What?’

‘We saved up our meds, hid the pills under our tongues,’ said Chloe. ‘It’s easy if you know how.’

‘Why did she do it?’

‘She couldn’t stand it, Lilly. Her dad doing those things to her,’ she said. ‘She wasn’t as strong as me.’

Lilly imagined how hard that would be. How destructive it must have made Lydia feel. The girl had come to the end of her tether and looked to her friend for assistance.

‘What about the words carved on her stomach?’ Lilly asked.

Chloe lowered her eyes.

‘You?’ Lilly asked.

‘I had to send a message somehow,’ said Chloe. ‘You didn’t answer my first one.’

Lilly wondered if she had known all along. She rifled through her bag and pulled out the padded envelope. ‘This is yours, I believe.’

Gingerly, Chloe reached out for it. ‘Did you read it?’

‘Of course.’

‘That’s my story,’ said Chloe. ‘My whole story.’

‘Not quite,’ said Lilly. ‘I decided to contact your old guardian, Patricia.’

‘She was always nice, Pat was.’

Lilly nodded. ‘She kept an eye on you all, even when the case was closed. For one thing, she knew you were in here.’ She paused. ‘She also knows where Gigi is.’

For a moment, Chloe said nothing then she let out a noise that was a wail and a laugh all at the same time. She grabbed Lilly’s arm.

‘Lydia said we could trust you.’ She smiled at Lilly. ‘She said all along that you would help us.’

As Lilly made her way towards the exit, she wondered what Chloe’s life might hold. There could be no happy endings, that was certain. Perhaps some peace after all these years?

She waved at the receptionist, who was caught in an argument with a young woman brandishing a bunch of garage carnations.

‘No, I’m not next of kin, I’m a friend,’ the young woman shouted. ‘That a crime round here is it?’

‘Everything okay?’ Lilly asked.

The young woman spun to the sound of Lilly’s voice, dirty blonde hair whipping her hollow cheeks.

‘Well, fuck me sideways,’ she said. ‘If it isn’t Lilly Valentine.’

Lilly smiled. It had been years since they’d last met, but she’d recognize that voice and those pink scars around her mouth anywhere.

‘Kelsey Brand,’ she said. ‘How the devil are you?’

Kelsey shrugged. ‘You know.’

‘Kept out of trouble?’ Lilly asked.

She’d represented Kelsey in a trial where she’d been accused of killing her own mother and hoped the poor kid’s life had changed for the better after the ‘not guilty’ verdict.

‘Misty!’

Behind them, Gem rushed down the corridor and threw herself at Lilly’s old client.

‘Misty?’ Lilly raised an eyebrow.

‘Don’t ask,’ said Kelsey and gave Gem a quick hug. ‘Mind my clothes.’ She pushed Gem away and thrust the flowers at her.

‘You two know each other then?’ Lilly asked.

‘Misty’s been looking out for me,’ said Gem.

‘Didn’t do a very good job, did I?’ Kelsey sniffed. ‘Seeing as how you’ve ended up in the nuthouse.’

‘I ain’t going to be here for long,’ Gem told her. ‘I’m going into foster care with Tyler.’

‘If Social Services can get a placement for you both,’ said Lilly.

Kelsey nodded. ‘Families should be together.’ She pointed at a coffee machine. ‘Come on, I’m gagging for a cuppa.’

Lilly watched Kelsey and Gem chat as they tried to work the machine. Two more girls she had tried to help. Two more girls for whom, like Chloe, there were no happy endings. Then she headed out into the cold, bright morning wishing life could be just a bit more straightforward.