Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1) (10 page)

Chapter 10

I did as he’d told me to, unsure of why I did it. I only knew that his self-assurance brooked no argument. The look in his eyes commanded obedience, and I was curious to see where he would kiss me. I was on my back when he sat up. His eyes held mine captive with their turquoise heat. His fingers trailed up my thighs slowly, and rounded to the sensitive flesh of my inner thighs.

The multitude of sensations mixed with my uneasy emotions as his fingers danced over my flesh. I felt my nipples as they grew hard, ready to be kissed. My core grew moist, slick with desire. My hands fisted at my sides to prevent me from touching myself. He was only touching my skin, and barely doing that!

“You like it,” he whispered huskily, “when I touch you, like this.” His hands slid up my inner thighs, both hands on each leg at the same time, until they skimmed over my nakedness. He never removed his eyes from mine as he ran them slowly back down to my knees. My instinct was to close my legs. I’d never been this far with a man. I was so far out of my league.

“Are you wet?” he asked and I shook my head in denial. He smiled as if he knew I was lying, but since I was currently on display, he could probably see the proof. I tried to put my knees together, but his hand caught them and held them apart. “If you lie to me, I will punish you for it. In this room, I want the truth. Now tell me, sweet girl. Are you wet?”

I nodded, and watched as he lifted my leg with one hand and pulled his other hand back. It slapped against my ass, and I cried out. Was he serious!?

“Are you wet?”

I nodded again, and he smacked it, again. “Stop that!”

Slap.

“Now!”

Smack! Only this time, there was no pain, but pleasure. I moaned and felt even more wetness leaving my pussy. I moaned as his hand smacked down again. The sound echoed through the room. I considered nodding again, just to see if it would revert to pain instead of pleasure. I was turned on, yet pissed that I was. He had no right to spank my ass, even if it had made me wet.

“Are you wet?” He asked again with more force in his tone. His eyes left mine to look at the now saturated folds. “Damn,” he whispered breathlessly.

“Yes,” I replied, and felt his hand as it returned my leg to the bed. My hand absently reached down, knowing it wouldn’t take much to get the screaming orgasm out of my system. I didn’t care if he watched. That’s how wound up and turned on I was.

“Good girl,” he whispered before he caught my hands and held them prisoner against my legs. He worked them down farther, until my hands were trapped against my ankles. His eyes came back up to meet mine as his head lowered between my legs.

I felt a mixture of absolute horror, and fear as his mouth touched against my flesh. “What are you doing?” I wiggled my ass as I tried to get away.

“Kissing you,” he replied before his mouth opened and hot breath fanned my swollen lips. Why would he…Ahhhhh! His mouth touched my core as his tongue licked the folds in a long, slow trail that started at the soft nub, and ended at my opening. His tongue continued to do it for several moments while I made inhuman noises.  His tongue pushed inside and I felt the storm building out of control as he continued to ravish me with only his tongue.

He sucked and kissed and continued to pull with his lips as he kissed my core, slurping and licking until I was moaning so loud, I was pretty sure I would have no voice come morning. I fought to get my hands free, because one single flick of the swollen clit between my legs would send me over. He pulled his mouth away, and the moment his hand released mine, I tried to get it to where I needed it. He didn’t allow it. Instead, he rearranged himself between my legs, took my wrist back, and captured it, along with my other wrist, in his much bigger hand. His hand brought both of my wrists up, and held them firmly against my belly.

A single finger slipped over my swollen flesh, exploring the wetness he’d created. “I want to fuck you so bad right now,” he growled as his finger slipped into my opening. “You’re so fucking wet and ready.”

“Mmm,” I mumbled as I moved myself over that finger.

“You like that, don’t you?” he asked hoarsely as yet another finger joined and then another until it became painful. He was stretching me, and I had to move to keep from screaming from it. I lifted my hips to meet his thrust, each one penetrating my soul. I cried out, and lifted my head to look at him and then at what he was doing. “Fucking hell, you’re tight and so hot right now, so sweetly fucking my fingers with that tight sheath. You want to come, don’t you, good girl?” he asked and I nodded emphatically.

“Please,” I begged.

“Please what?” he countered as he watched the heated skin he was currently fucking.

“Make me come,” I whispered as I looked to where his eyes had locked onto my flesh. “Oh God,” I cried as the orgasm started to unfurl inside of me. I pushed and pulled with my hips to bring his magical fingers deeper into my slick heat. “Oh hell,” I screamed as his hand released mine and his mouth lowered to allow his tongue to flick hard and slow over my throbbing clit.

He moaned against my core as my body shook with a force unfamiliar to me. I was coming undone, or dying. Either one was okay, because this was heaven. His fingers slipped out, and his mouth took their spot as he moaned and moved his mouth over my juices as if he couldn’t get enough of them. His hands lifted my ass, and pulled it up until I was there for him to feast on. The sucking and sounds of what he was doing sent me over that precipice again.

My eyes closed and yet he continued to suck from me, his teeth grazing my flesh as he did so. I felt boneless when he’d finished, and moving was so far out of the question that it wasn’t even an option. He climbed up my body, and at that moment if he’d tried to fuck me with his hard cock, he’d succeed.

“You’ve never been kissed like that before, have you?”

“No,” I whispered through dry lips.

“Good,” he replied as he claimed my lips and pushed his tongue inside. I could taste myself on him and it was hot. I moaned again as he ravished my mouth, his cock rubbing against my stomach. I could feel its silken flesh from where it had escaped its captivity in his shorts. He pulled up, and smiled down at me. “I keep my promises, but I am going to dry fuck you, hard. Look what you did to me,” he said as he drew my eyes to his cock.

Dry fuck? He rubbed his cock over my skin, and pushed it back inside of his clothes. He held my legs apart, as he rubbed his erection between the cleft of my core. I moaned at the sensation of what he was doing. His eyes locked with mine as his hand captured my chin, and held it in place. We were both making noises, as he used my body for relief.

“Don’t take your eyes off mine,” he growled when I tried to close them. “Good girl,” he said when I met his. “Fuck, you’re perfect. You’ve never been controlled before, have you, Emma? You’ve never had your pleasure held, or controlled by something like me.”

“Jaeden,” I whispered, unsure of what he was asking, but not caring. I was lost in the feeling of what he was doing to my body. He stopped, and pulled on his cock. I tore my eyes from his to see what he was doing, as fear trickled up my spine.

“Eyes,” he snapped.

I ignored him, watching him as his hand worked his cock. He used it to slap my pussy—hard. I cried out in surprise, but kept my eyes on it as it slapped my exposed flesh again. I was wet, so the sound exploded when he continued to use it on me. I lifted my hips, wanting, needing more. His hand moved from my chin to my throat, where it tightened enough that I lifted my eyes to his.

“I’m going to come all over your swollen pussy,” he said, as his lips curved into a wicked smile. “You don’t get to see it.”

“I want to see it,” I whispered.

“I know you do, that’s why I’m not allowing it.”

I struggled against his hold, but his fingers tightened. It wasn’t painful so much as it was erotic. At any time, he could strangle the life out of me. His thumb rubbed over my carotid artery, as if he was testing my pulse while he continued to beat his cock against my flesh.

It turned me on to know he was using his hand, when he could have been easily buried deep inside of me. Instead, he was keeping his word. I had a feeling that even if I begged him to fuck me, he wouldn’t tonight. I was almost there again, just from the knowledge of his impending orgasm. His flesh slapped mine hard enough that I screamed and then moaned.

“That’s it, sweet girl, you like my cock beating your flesh. Knowing I could fuck it at any moment. I could bury this,” he slapped my flesh harder. “At any fucking moment in this perfect cove and you know it. It turns you on, doesn’t it?”

I moaned and then when his cock slapped against my clitoris again, I exploded.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he smirked knowingly and continued to beat his silken flesh over my pussy. “Open your eyes,” he commanded. I did, and watched as the muscles in his neck tensed, and his shoulders grew stiff. He growled and as he did, hot spurts of liquid jutted out onto my swollen flesh.

He leaned over, and rested his forehead against mine. “Next time I come, it will be inside you.”

I lay beside him, spent. I’d gone from virgin, to virgin whore in a single day. He had cleaned his come off with a towel, and then crawled in bed after changing into sweatpants. My legs remained open, because I didn’t have enough energy to close them.

I’d come hard the last time, and when he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my body up close against his, I didn’t argue it. He was already hard again. I closed my heavy lids, and fell asleep to the absolutely mindboggling emotions I was now feeling.

“You should know this, Emma, I plan to have you. I will have you. Tonight was only the first of many lessons you will receive, until I decide to bury my cock in your sweet flesh.”

“Lessons?” I asked, but he just smiled against the curve of my neck in answer. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“No, but you will when I teach you.”

*~*~*

I felt safe with him, even though I shouldn’t have. Being next to so much raw masculinity should have scared the shit out of me. His arms had wrapped around me protectively during the night. I could feel his breath fanning against my neck as I lay there with him.

I closed my eyes again, only to wake up the next time with something pressing against my lower back. I swallowed nervously as I ran through the options of what it could be. The process of elimination was, of course, how I managed it.

Option one; a snake had crawled into his shorts and decided to hang out on my back.

Option two; he’d shoved a hard object in his pants, which he’d then placed against my ass and back.

Option three; a bee had flown in and stung his junk, which had caused it to swell massively.

Option four; he’d changed into a motorcycle and he’d produced a stunning kick stand.

Option five; and this was the most likely, he had some serious morning wood!

Now for the options of what to do about the woody in the ass?

Option one; pretend I don’t notice said woody poking my ass.

Option two; run screaming from the woody.

Option three; hire someone with a skilled woodpecker to reduce said woody to normal size.

Option four; make use of said woody and become a woody woodpecker and peck that woody!
Seriously, Emma?
Okay, so that option wasn’t even on the table.

“Morning,” he whispered against my ear.

“Woodpeckers!” I shouted without thinking it over.

“Come again?”

“No thanks!” I sputtered as I made a complete ass out of myself and moved away from the woody before I started pecking. “Pecking is bad!” I continued like a dumb ass.
Shut up, Emma, just shut it!

I obviously had wood on the brain because I couldn’t look away from where his sweats had a thick bulge showing through the flimsy material. I felt his eyes on my face and could see him smiling with the knowledge that I’d just freaked the hell out over his morning wood. “Sorry about that.”

“M-uh-huh,” I mumbled.

“Not used to sleeping with men?” he asked.

“I don’t spend the night with them normally,” I whispered and then raised my eyes to his. “I mean I sleep, I just don’t…ya know, feel wood.” Oh my god! Had I just said that?

He threw his head back and barked with laughter.

“Sure, laugh at my expense,” I said irritably.

“You want to touch it?” he asked jokingly, which of course, I didn’t catch until I’d considered actually touching it!

I left the bed, knowing my ass would be exposed. “I need to go home, check on my people. Do some other stuff.” I was rambling. I did it when I was nervous, like when I woke up after a night of debauchery with a deadly, sexual male, like Jaeden. Okay, so yes, this was the first this had ever happened to me, but still!

“Get dressed, Emma, I’ll have Sven bring you to my office when you’re finished.”

“I need to go home,” I replied.

“You can, but first I want to discuss something with you.”

Chapter 11

Once I was dressed, I checked the door and hall and didn’t see Sven anywhere, so I slipped out on my own without looking for Jaeden or his office. I didn’t wait to see if I was followed, or if Jaeden had given chase. I just knew if I stayed close to him, I’d be up shit creek with Mr. Happy Whacker. Who needed a paddle when you had a man who looked and acted like that?

I made it to the shelter and flashed the camera a cheesy grin. Addy met me at the door and threw herself at me. “I was so freaking worried! Why didn’t you respond?” she demanded.

“I was…busy,” I replied with guilt burning in my cheeks.

“You slut!” she said as she pulled back to look at me. “You gave him the V-card?” she grinned hugely.

“Not exactly,” I replied warily.

“I’m confused,” she paused and looked at my rumpled clothing. “Did you have sex?”

“Sorta,” I replied and started towards my room.

“Bitch! Explain how you sorta had sex with him?” she narrowed her eyes and followed closely at my heels.

“He kissed me.”

“Um,” she said as she grabbed my arm to stop me. “I think we need to discuss the birds and the bees.”

I rolled my eyes. “He kissed me
down
there.”

“Sweet baby Jesus!” she smiled as though the rapture had just come.  “And?”

“He, well, he likes full control. I’m not sure he’s an option for a first timer.” I answered her honestly because let’s face it, I knew zero about this shit, and he was a fucking pro.

“Is he a Dom?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know!” I was in so far over my head I was drowning. I scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration as I tried to gather my thoughts. “Look, he was all ready to bang me when the girls were killed, Addy. I don’t have time for guys considering there are rabid wolves out there. If I hadn’t been almost handing him myself on a platter, they might still be alive.” I knew I was rambling, and for some reason couldn’t stop.

“Oh please, don’t give me that bullshit. Those girls went out to try and steal him from you. They took everything they owned when they left. They weren’t coming back, Emma, period. I’ll bet they were trying to worm their way into what they thought was an easy life with Jaeden or one of those hot guys they said he was with. They left us without even a thank you for saving their spoiled, lazy asses to begin with! They deserved what they got for being selfish pricks,” she snapped angrily.

“No, no one deserved to die as they did, Addy. They were torn apart, and Bonnie was raped, and the worst part? I couldn’t tell if it was before or after she was in pieces!”

“Oh, well shit. That’s disturbing…” her expression softened a little as it looked like her thoughts warred between outrage, horror and disgust.

“Exactly.”

“Still, was he huge? Did you go down on him?”

I blinked at the rapid rate of her words and disturbing change in conversation. “I didn’t go down on him,” I blew out exasperatedly and headed to the level where my room was.

“Why not? Need to practice it? We have men here, and I’ve read
50 Shades of Grey
, if he’s all controlling, sign me the fuck up!” Her arms were waving in excitement as she hustled to keep up with me.

“You read that book?” I asked.

“Five times already. I can’t stomach that romance shit. You think E. L. James survived the apocalypse? I hope she did, I need more books.”

“You seriously need your ADHD meds,” I snorted as I tried to keep my eyes from rolling.

“Yeah well, so what.”

“Oh look! Squirrel!” I said with a smile on my lips.

“Did he at least get off? You know if you don’t help him out, he gets balls which are blue and actually painful according to Daniel Anderson.”

“You slept with Anderson?”

“Why do you always call people by their last names? It’s disturbing, and no, how do you think I found out about his balls being blue?”

“What the hell did you do to give him blue balls?”

“I licked it, but I didn’t finish it. Kid wouldn’t get done and my jaw hurt. His loss.” She shrugged. “I was in a hurry to get home before Dad found out I’d snuck out. Told him he’d have to be fast, now I know that’s not such a good thing. Lesson learned.”

“Oh, well…slut.”

“Proud of it,” she smiled. “One of us has to be adventurous.”

“I need to shower and then I need a scouting party. I think Jaeden knows where the wolves are, and I want to make sure that issue ends.”

“So, you were going to fuck him? Or did you just part your legs and say hey baby, lick these cobwebs!” She waggled her eyebrows mischievously.

“I don’t have cobwebs,” I bit out.

“No, but you have to be the oldest living virgin left in America. So I have to make fun of you, even if you are my bestie.”

“Yeah…well, scouting party, and don’t get distracted by a squirrel.”

I entered my room and closed the door on her curiously eager face. I slid down it and yes, I thought about his mouth and where I wanted it. Soon. I’d never experienced anything like it, or him, and I wanted what he could give. I just wasn’t willing to let it cost another life.

I headed to the showers and did my business as fast as I could. Once back in my room I decided to dress as if it was any other day, only a day with the living still in it. I skipped the shapeless black fatigues for a form fitting pair of jeans. I shimmied into a slim grey tank top and layered it with a black skull one. I then slid on the few necklaces I had left, and then set to putting on the harnesses for my weapons and gearing up. A quick brush through my hair and a French braid had me feeling a little more my old self.

I left the room without my mask or the black hoodie. It was late summer, and I was tired of hiding. Yes it had worked to protect us, but I wasn’t hunting or hiding from men. I was hunting wild animals. I heard the others whispering as I walked through the shelter, and knew the moment Addy caught sight of me.

“Hot damn! It’s the old I’m-a-badass-Emma!” She whistled.

“Sure, party ready?”

“Honey, if you plan on landing in his bed, I suggest you wear a skirt.”

I shook my head at her. “We are going to the woods. Wearing
skirts
will just slow us down.”

“Whatever,” she whined.

“Scouting party?” I asked.

She pointed behind me. I turned to find a huge group dressed as I normally did. “No masks today, we aren’t going into town. We’re hunting wolves. If you see a wolf, you shoot to kill. They may look like big dogs, but they’re not. They tore the girls up and it wasn’t for food. We will be setting up bear traps as well, it might catch them. If not, we’ll have more meat for winter. You will go in groups of four, and stay together. The rest of you, stay in touch with each other. Turn the walkie talkies to channel five and check in every fifteen minutes. Got it?” I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them that Bonnie had been brutally raped. I was sure of it, but the whole scene was too improbable.

When they agreed and each group grabbed a set of traps, we headed out. I set out on foot, with the others, but when they went into the woods, I stayed to the fields. When I finally hit the section of woods on the other side, it was only to hear what sounded like grunting coming from one of the many houses there.

The sound wasn’t coming from inside one of the houses though. One of Jaeden’s men had a woman pressed against a tree. Her legs were wrapped around his back as he drove himself inside of her. She screamed with pleasure as he grunted. One of his hands held both of hers above her head as his mouth covered her neck.

I could have moved.

I could have stopped watching as they took advantage of the end of the world and got it on in the forest.

Instead I stood there and allowed my body to respond to what it was seeing. Heat furled in my stomach, and my mouth watered. My back arched as if it was me against that tree and Jaeden between my legs. I bit into the fullness of my lip to stifle the moan which almost broke free. I needed to leave, I reminded myself.

I should have looked away sooner, but by the time I gave myself a mental shake and turned to move, I was stopped by a hand snaking around and covering my mouth. I felt my stomach drop sickeningly until Jaeden’s voice whispered softly against my ear.

“Enjoying the show?”

I shook my head but his reply was a throaty laugh that sent heat pulsing through my body. Instead of moving his hand from my mouth, his other hand dropped from my chest to press against the V between my legs.

I moaned against his hand as I tried to avert my gaze, but his hand held me there, watching as the huge male drove his need into the willing woman. My nipples hardened as moisture pooled where his hand was cupping my sex. I felt my body go tight with want, as more cries erupted from the female.

“You like watching?” Jaeden continued as he pulled my body against his. “You’re already wet, and your body is wound up with unspent need. Let me fix it, Emma, let me take you,” he whispered huskily as he walked me backwards from the couple carefully. It was a good thing he held me up like I was nothing, because I didn’t think my legs could’ve held me up, much less been useful.

When he stopped, he pulled me around until I was facing him. His mouth pressed against mine, and his tongue slipped between my lips and captured mine. Before I knew what he intended, I was on the leaf covered floor, and one of his much larger hands held mine captured above my head as his mouth wiped all reason from my mind.

I moaned against his mouth as I kissed him back. His free hand worked my jeans until he had them undone, and his hand slipped in to press against the dampness. His skilled fingers slipped into my panties, and one entered me. I arched my hips to allow him better access without realizing it. I cried out at the pressure he created, and his mouth swiftly smothered my cries. He pumped his finger inside of me to a steady beat that complimented my heart’s rapid tempo. A fever spread through me, as even more tension built in my core.

I could have stopped him, but I didn’t want the pressure to ease, to end. Instead, I kissed harder, and spread my legs for his touch, ignoring the awkwardness that the too-tight jeans were creating as he fought against them to slide another finger inside of me.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he whispered as he continued to bring me toward the storm he was creating. “So tight, so fucking greedy. Can you feel your sweet pussy sucking my fingers off? I want it to be my cock,” he murmured as his mouth lowered to my neck and sucked softly against the artery there.

I moaned louder without his mouth preventing it from coming out. He inserted yet another finger until I became uncomfortably full. I cried out at the ecstasy of his touch. What
the
hell was I doing? Why wasn’t I fighting him? I should have been, but instead I lifted my hips and rolled my head from side to side with the intense feeling his touch was igniting inside of me.

He was stretching me. Filling me. I gasped as the sensation swept over me, consuming the need to fight him and replacing it with the need to accept what he offered. I cried out as he moved his fingers in and out of me, creating more wetness. It was painful, and yet in that moment, when he started really moving them, a fire tore through me as something
more
started to build inside of me.

“You feel so good. So fucking wet and tight, little one,” he whispered against my ear as he pulled his fingers out and slid them back inside slowly.

It was insane; we were on the forest floor and he was making me feel things I didn’t understand. Things I’d never dreamt of, and I was allowing it all over again. I felt desire burning in my lower abdomen, building as his fingers worked magic that shouldn’t be possible. He lifted his head, and looked down at me with a heat burning in his eyes that left me breathless, and boneless.

“Jaeden,” I cried out as I yanked my hands out of his bigger ones and brought my hands up to his chest.

“Is this what you need?” he asked, as his finger sank inside of me again. “I think it is,” he mouth came down to hover over mine as his hot breath fanned my mouth. He caught my bottom lip between his, and sucked on it and then bit the tender flesh, enticingly. Pain lingered with passion and pleasure, and mixed together to cause an earth shattering combination. I was coming undone. He was in control, and I wanted it. I wanted this, and it terrified me that I trembled for him. I was embarrassed by my own behavior and yet I wasn’t stopping him. I would, in a minute...or a couple...

“I could destroy, and you’d let me. Wouldn’t you, sweet girl?” he breathed.

“Yes,” I whimpered.

I moaned as his fingers stretched me further, and he added another which made my entire body go tight like a guitar string. I moaned and arched my back for his touch, wantonly. It was as if I was starving and couldn’t get enough of it. Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped, leaving me a writhing, heaving, sweaty, frustrated mess.

He stood above me, his feet planted between my legs as he watched me struggle to put myself back together. I was wet, down
there,
again because of him. I was fighting for control over the feelings his touch had created. I couldn’t get up, and I wanted him to come back down and finish what he’d started. God help me, I wanted him now. It wasn’t what came out, because his words about destroying me were playing in my head.

I watched him bring his fingers that had been inside me to his mouth, and one after another, he licked them free of my juices. It was erotic and exhilarating as he sucked them clean while I watched him.