Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1) (25 page)

“I need you to get to it,” I growled with a hunger of my own. “I ache.”

“Test the bonds, Emma, and don’t talk unless I tell you to. I need to know if you are comfortable with being tied to my bed, because trust needs to be between us before I can start ravishing you. Without it, this is just fucking and I want more with you. If you just want to be fucked, tell me now and I’ll do it. I’ll ram my hard cock so far into this sweet pussy that you’ll feel me when you sleep tonight. If you want more, you’ll wait until your mind is ready for me, because at that time, your body will follow it into the abyss of pleasure I have planned for you.”

I bit my lip because while I wanted to come, I wanted more with him too. I wanted more than just sex; I wanted mind blowing, fuck my world up, make me ache for days sex. I wanted him soul-deep, and I had a feeling that by the time he was done with me, we’d be there—together.

“Don’t worry sweet girl, I plan to fuck this pussy until it comes for me, soon.”

I moaned and bucked my hips invitingly as his fingers trailed over the thin patch of hair that was nestled there. He pulled my legs apart and smiled down at how wet I was from just his words alone.  “You’re drenched, is that for me?”

“Yes,” I said while making incoherent moaning noises. His fingers entered my core, but just the tips of them. He smiled as he pulled them back out and flicked my clit with one and then entered with three fingers, but again it was only the tips poised at my opening. He was going to make me work for it.

“Go ahead, try to move, Emma. I want to watch you suffer with the need to be fucked. You should see how sexy you are like this. I can see you want to move so badly, as if it would give any relief at all, and maybe you wouldn’t feel so helpless,” he whispered as he pulled those deliciously naughty fingers away from my opening. I had to work to get that little bit of pressure back inside of me. “The fact is, my naughty little fuck toy, you
are
helpless. There is absolutely no escape for you right now. Go ahead, scream to come. I want to hear it, beg me to let you come.”

“Jaeden, make me come, please? I need it so bad,” I begged, but I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to scream his name in need. That was what he wanted from me; he wanted the primal, no holding back scream that I’d given him the first time he’d fucked me. He pulled his fingers away until the very tips touched my opening again, as if he was punishing me.

“Emma, tell me who your body belongs to. Then maybe I’ll give this soaking wet pussy just what it craves, maybe. Look me in the eyes and listen to what I’m saying to you. It’s going to be sore by the time I’m done with it, red and abused, and I promise you, it will still want more. You’ll take everything I give you tonight, now beg for it.”

The moment he placed the fingers barely inside of me, I did it. I begged until he smiled and leaned his head down to suckle one nipple. He swirled his tongue around it and played with it as I squirmed and begged. He moved to the other nipple and swirled, licked and played with it for a few delicious moments and then he bit down around my nipple with sharp fangs as his fingers pushed fully inside of me. He thumbed my clit and I detonated, screaming his name until my voice was hoarse from it. He pulled at my nipple with his mouth, feeding as I exploded again and yet my mouth kept saying his name over and over again like a benediction.

“Good girl; keep going, keep coming for me. Don’t you dare stop coming; you’re my little orgasm doll tonight, so I want to see this sweet pussy dripping with come before I finally fuck it. That’s it, my pretty little fuck toy, fuck you’re so hot. So fucking hot,” he moaned. I shook my head, begging for something, even though I didn’t know what, not until he said it. “I can see you, Emma, and no, I won’t stop because you’re not done coming for me yet. You were just begging for this orgasm and now you’re begging for it to stop? I don’t think so; can you feel how slick with your juices my fingers are?”

I was soaking wet, he was right. That wasn’t the problem. It was the fact that it was one solid body shaking orgasm that had me sobbing actual tears from pure ecstasy, but I felt as if I was falling and he’d been right, I feared passing out because blackness had replaced my vision and the only thing I could see was an expanse of stars that seemed to be exploding. It felt as if I had left his bed, and floated in the abyss he’d spoken about; there was pain here. Pain and pleasure from coming too hard, too fast; I wanted it to stop, but at the same time I didn’t.

“Do you feel how sensitive this sweet pussy is now? How wet and ready it is for my hard cock?”

“Jaeden,” I moaned hoarsely as I drifted back to earth. The plea was naked in my eyes. I wanted it to stop, but couldn’t form the words. I couldn’t form anything; it was as if my mind had turned to mush from the sheer magnitude of that orgasm.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you…if you keep looking at me with that plea for me to stop one more time I am going to turn you over and spank your sexy little ass. Now, come again and this time, don’t break eye contact with me. I want to see your eyes when they grow vacant from pleasure.” His other hand held my throat again, tender but with enough pressure to assist me in doing as he’d told me to.  “Now, tell me who taught you to come that hard, good girl?”

“You did,” I breathed through swollen lips that wanted nothing more than to taste him.

“Part your legs, and beg me to fuck you, Emma.” His dirty mouth was my undoing, and the moment he lowered his body and claimed my clit with his tongue, flicking and kissing it, I bucked my hips in response, riding his face. He slid his fingers over my opening, and I screamed for even more of him.

“You feel that, Emma?” he whispered as he continued, only breaking up his words as his tongue sucked and nipped at the soft, sensitive nub that seemed to hold his attention. “Every time my finger slips up and down and over this honey,” he dipped his fingers inside so I would catch his meaning.  “And I move them slower and slower, until your tortured arousal, your sweet fucking wetness lets it slip within you, like this.” He plunged them deep inside of me. “Every time they get close, this sweet pussy with all its wetness trying to suck them inside, to fuck them.”

“Yes!” I was mindless, and this was torture. If he hadn’t tied my arms, I’d be riding him like a freaking horse at a rodeo, because I was in pain with need for him. Achy didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

“That wasn’t a question, my sweet little toy. I hope you’re ready.” He pinned me down, holding my bound hands just above my head until he was poised between my thighs. He smiled, and then flipped my body over, until once again I would have been on all fours, but with bound hands, I was forced to lay there with my cheek to the bed and my ass exposed in the air.

His hands landed on my ass, as he rubbed the sensitive flesh he found there. “Someday soon, I’m going to fuck you here,” his thumb dipped inside and I tensed as if he’d lit a fire cracker with a short fuse. “You’ll like it, too.” He leaned over me and I listened as the sound of his pants being unzipped sounded like music to my ears. I tensed as the tip of his cock pressed against the flesh that just had his fingers in it, but then he lowered it to the sleek wetness of my pussy.

His lips pressed against my ear as he told me to take it, and I moaned as he fed his cock to my greedy opening, inch after glorious inch. His hand held my face in my place. He didn’t allow me to move as he entered my body; he watched my expressions with an eagerness I could feel. He whispered encouragements as he filled me until I could take no more of him. When I moaned and cried out, he laughed, the sound seductive and erotic as it rumbled against my ear. Then he whispered seductively, “We aren’t finished, little girl. I have more for you.” There was more? He plunged in deep and I screamed. It made me wetter which allowed him in even more, and I trembled around his cock, his massive cock that was buried deep inside of me.

“You’re about to come for me again, are you ready?” he teased as he leaned back and slapped my ass hard while his other hand grabbed a handful of hair and pulled.

It was overwhelming, and erotic. I felt dirty and yet I wanted him to do worse. I wanted him to use me without remorse. I wanted to feel his worst, and know his best. I didn’t care what he did, because my world was spinning off its axis, and he was the center of my universe in this moment.

I had a fire inside of me, and I wanted to believe in it, in this, in myself. I wanted to tether the fire I’d seen burning in his eyes when he looked at me, the way the world spun out of control and atoms collided together for a cataclysmic event when we touched. That’s why I was here, that was why I was with him. That’s how I felt with him. Only Jaeden. There was something so achingly beautiful inside me when I was with him that it terrified me and made my world spin off its axis. Nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered but him and the fire that was burning in his eyes.

He went stiff behind me and swore violently as his hands tightened, as if he was surprised by his release. “Fucking hell, Emma, you make me helpless and come like a stripling every time I am with you.”

“Good,” I growled with pride, but I could already feeling him moving again.

“Too bad I’m not done. You’re not sore enough, little Valkyrie. Not by a long shot. Now, scream for me, more. Scream until every male in this area knows who this sweet fuck toy belongs to.”

Chapter 29

He kept his promise, and for twenty-four hours, I was everything he said I would be. I was sure as I eased into my clothes the next evening that I would feel the soreness into next week. Jaeden quietly led me through the estate, and stayed with me on the walk home. Everything seemed as if it had changed since last night. He seemed distracted, as if something was bothering him. I left him alone as he didn’t seem like he was ready to share what was going on in his mind.

When we’d reached the half-way point, he stopped and looked around us and his posture grew stiff. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, as if he was listening to something.

It wasn’t until a black SUV pulled behind us from the direction we had come, that his shoulders dropped and his head shook as he turned and looked at me. He was angry at something, and I caught a look of resignation as it crossed his face.

“Jaeden?” I asked, looking around us for any sign that something was off. I could see nothing, but he was reacting to something.

“Emma, go home. I have to leave. Now,” he said abruptly as he turned to leave.

“What the hell?” I demanded as he started to walk away. “What’s wrong with you?” I followed him a few steps.

“Some of the elders have arrived; word has gotten out about what happened at the bridge yesterday. This is very bad, Emma. I have a good deal of explaining to do and I don’t want you anywhere close to me,” he said and stopped again as he seemed to think on something more and then let out a stream of what sounded like irate curses. “Tell Lachlan the rogues we were concerned with are closer than we thought,” he continued bitterly and moved towards the SUV as I stood there, stunned and frozen at the sudden change. Jaeden sniffed the air and called out.

“Take her home wolf; I can smell you in the bushes, Lachlan. Keep her safe.” Jaeden opened the passenger door as Lachlan and his men came out of the woods. “She’s yours to protect now.” His angry eyes were the last thing I saw as he closed the door firmly.

“Emma,” Lachlan said as he tried to pull me away from where I stood, too confused and hurt to move.  “Lass,” Lachlan said as he picked me up and began to carry me. “Emma, breathe.”

It didn’t matter. Nothing did. He was gone. He’d left me. I’d lost my dad, and Grayson, and Jaeden had been the only person I knew who could possibly help me track down the Sentinels who had taken my brother.

*~*~*

Three weeks later.

“Emma, is this enough silver? Lach and Liam have pilfered every jewelry store from Seattle to Spokane it seems,” Addy asked. “Pretty ballsy if you ask me, like Superman handling kryptonite.” She giggled.

“Looks good, and with the bars of silver from the bank, we should have enough for a war with the rogue packs, if it actually comes to that.” It was looming over us, and only a matter of time before they attacked. It was as if they could sense that the vampires had abandoned us.

Jaeden was gone, and by gone, I mean every vampire that had been camped out at the estate had vanished without a trace. We had been left to fight the rogue packs alone, as well as look for my brother. Lachlan was sweet, and was trying to fill my days with busy work, but nothing filled the void Jaeden had left inside of me. I was able to keep my mind busy during the day, but at night he would haunt me.

Only the thought of protecting the people here—and eventually finding Grayson—gave my mind ease. I wasn’t willing to just fall in line and sleep with one of the guys to pass the hours as the others girls had been, but hey, not judging. After all, it seems I’d been a vampire’s plaything. I had no room to judge anyone.

“They’re back!” Aydan shouted, and we all grabbed guns and moved to the door. This was becoming an everyday thing, but unless they tried to breach the doors, we normally just stood at the ready. Today there seemed to be more of them, as if they’d actually expected us to come out.

“They can’t get in here, so hold back. If they manage to be hiding explosives in their fur, we might have something to worry about.” I watched as our wolves agreed, if not a little unwillingly. I knew they itched to fight them, but it wasn’t time. They were testing us, looking for weakness.

I turned and walked back to my room in silence. My room was now my research center for finding Grayson. I had my mother’s tapes in the room, and every day, I listened to them for clues I may have missed the day before. I read from the journal my dad had left for me, and wondered how he’d discovered so much in such a short amount of time.

Every night since he left, I dreamt of Jaeden and wondered if he ever thought about me. On the way back to the shelter the day Jaeden left, Lachlan explained that the elders were the lawmakers for the vampires and if they said they’d do something, they would. Anything they ordered was carried out with brutal efficiency. How Shamus convinced them that my dad was an asset and not a threat was nothing short of miraculous. My worries about the elders escalated when I found some damning information on one of my mom’s tapes and I had to confide in Lachlan.

Sentinels, it turned out, were hunters of vampires or any other creature that became out of control and a threat to humans. Their powers made them judge, jury and executioner all rolled into one, which explained quite a bit of changes I had been going through. Sentinels were invisible death. No wonder Shamus said that Sentinels were just rumor and myth. If the elders knew more about Sentinels than Shamus indicated, I had very little hope that Jaeden would be back unless it was to kill me.

*~*~*

Winter had arrived and snow was piling up, which meant most of the animals for meat were in hibernation. I spent most of the morning hours hoping Grayson was being fed, and taken care of. Our mother was a cold calculating bitch, so it was doubtful. My only hope was that she wanted him alive, because if she did, she’d have to feed and take care of him.

Days went by, and eventually the rogue pack gave up on an all-out attack. They had not managed to get through the shelter’s defenses, but they had made it impossible to go out at all. Maggie had developed an infection after she’d sustained a new injury; she’d been trying to overdo it with the need to make up for the time she was down. Her immune system was still compromised from surgery and she’d spiked a fever.

I waited as long as I could before I finally made the decision.

“I’m going for medicine,” I told Addy as she walked into my room as I was dressing in white camo snow pants and a hooded jacket that had fur trim. “The antibiotics I have aren’t doing the trick for Maggie.”

“Emma, you know it’s not safe out there. Those asshole rogues are still around.”

“And they won’t leave, but look; if I don’t go, she’s dead. I can’t let them force us to hide forever. I’m going to slip out and Lachlan, Aydan, and a bunch of his guys are going to distract them. It’s not like I’m just running out there and yelling here I am,
bite me
! We actually have a plan.”

“Emma, you’ve done nothing but walk around here like a flipping zombie for the past two months! I’m not losing you; if you wanna go, you take me with you!”

“Addison Kathryn Stokes, I will duct tape you and toss your ass in the pantry. I have a couple of things working in my favor these days; you don’t.” I blinked. She blinked. I looked up to find Lachlan watching us as I finished slipping my pack on.

“Two girls, duct tape, that sounds kinky as fuck,” he said with a cocky smile on his lips.

“Men,” I said as an image of Jaeden plagued me. I wasn’t over him, and the fact that I’d fallen after I’d tried so hard not to was driving me insane. His face haunted my sleep, and in it, he was always making love to me. The last time we’d gone at it, his hands had been gentle. It was more than fucking; he’d kissed me everywhere, and whispered things I’d never expected to hear from a man, and it was that time that I kept replaying in my head.

“Emma, we’re ready,” he said ignoring my eyes that I had dramatically rolled just for him. “Keep rolling those eyes, lass, and I’ll make your toes do the same.”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Like this,” he said with a cocky grin right before he pulled me to him and kissed me until my toes did just as he’d threatened to make them do. He was sweet, and for the first time since that incident in the showers months ago, I allowed his tongue to push inside, and when I did, he deepened the kiss. My body responded, and I allowed him to move his hands down my back as I placed mine on his chest.

It was an amazing kiss, but it didn’t make me delirious or lose my mind like Jaeden’s kiss did; not even close. Lachlan had skill, but it wasn’t similar or even close to the way Jaeden’s made me feel. I felt my core growing wet, and stopped him. “I’m—”

“It’s okay, lass; it’s a start, aye? He’s gone, but you’re still here,” Lachlan said with a knowing smile, as if he approved of how I’d reacted to his kiss.

I on the other hand was appalled at my behavior. I knew Jaeden was gone, but he’d stolen my heart and taken it with him. His departure had been so abrupt and unexpected that it had left a hole inside of me.  If I slept with Lachlan, that’s all it would be, fucking. I just wasn’t made like that. I had an ache between my legs that only Jaeden could fill and a hole in my heart that only made it worse.

I walked to the door where I kissed Addy on the cheek and watched as Lachlan and a few of his men started to strip down for the change. Watching an entire group of hot men strip down to nothing while we watched them? Priceless.

“Take it in,” he said cockily and then shifted to wolf form right in front of us. It looked like it should’ve been painful, but the turn from human to wolf was effortless, as if a single thought could bring it on.

I’d never asked him about it, and figured it was none of my business. I liked that he flirted with me, but still gave me space to decide if I wanted it to go further between the two of us. There wasn’t that chemical reaction of atoms and molecules exploding when we touched, and that was what kept me from moving forward.

I opened the door and watched as the wolves fanned out in an aggressive formation and left the shelter to give me an actual shot at saving Maggie. I turned and looked at Addy with a small smile.

“I love you, bitch,” I said and wiggled my eyebrows.

“Don’t do that, Emma, you better come back to me. I can’t do this without you.”

“
I’ll be back
,” I said in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger
impression.