Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1) (3 page)

He grinned, but it was lopsided. “One?”

He pushed off the house and I fired, aiming for the right, next to his head. Close enough that it nicked his hair. His eyes grew wide, and then narrowed. “You missed,” he growled, and I shook my head. “You didn’t miss?”

Another shake as I smiled beneath the mask.

“Alright, I’ll play it your way and tell you what I have observed so far,” he grinned knowingly. “You don’t kill unless you have to, and yet you kill if the need arises to help someone, mostly women and children, but I think you would help men if they need it. Personally, if they aren’t strong enough to save themselves, you should let them die. I’ve been watching for you awhile today, and I haven’t seen you take off that mask yet.”

It was time to go. He’d been watching me
all
day? How had I missed that?

“Tell me, are you helping to gather slaves for someone?”

I almost cussed, but caught myself before I did so. Oh, he was crafty! Wait, I was craftier. I tilted my head as I aimed my weapon at his head, again. He watched my hands, and for a moment, his eyes captured mine through the mask and held them. Time stood still, and something inside of me kicked into overdrive…my heart?

“Shit, you can’t be over sixteen with those baby blues.”

I blinked, and considered shooting him. It would solve the issue of him being too close to my bike. Would also work to wipe that charming grin off his entirely too kissable lips.

“Tell me, why be alone? We have room for you. We have rules, of course. Not many, but we could make a man out of you yet.”

Thanks for the offer, buddy, passing! Besides, I was pretty sure he couldn’t make a man out of me. I was just grateful that he hadn’t seen anyone else from the shelter today or followed me there earlier.

I turned and gave the family one last look before moving to my bike, but it had been a mistake. His hand gripped my shoulder, and I brought the gun up, and tried turning in his direction, but his viselike grip prevented it.

“I wouldn’t do that,” he chimed, as he leaned closer and…
sniffed me.
I felt violated, but the moment his nose touched my throat, I felt something kick inside of my belly, and heat pooled down there.
Oh, Emma, be a boy! No getting wet, not now, now ever, pull it together!

Oh my word, he’d sniffed me! Like a friggin’ dog! What the hell was wrong with people? I turned around and faced him, forcing him to release my arm. He narrowed his eyes, and tilted his head, mirroring my earlier assessment of him.

“You don’t smell like a teenage boy,” he mused.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

I tried again to raise my gun, but something in his posture made me hesitate. He wasn’t aggressive, but he was dangerously curious. I stepped back and widened my pose, seeing if he’d do the same. Instead, his eyes slid down to my legs and back up at me.

“Go kid, before I change my mind,” he said and I wasted no time getting back onto my bike and leaving him there. I didn’t go home, because if I did, he’d follow and I knew it. Knew it like I knew today had sucked monkey balls. I made it about a mile from the shelter and once again got off the bike to look around. I didn’t feel the eyes on me, and after a few moments, I pulled out the hand held radio and radioed in to Addy.

Nope, I didn’t speak, because it was vital that I keep my gender to myself. Instead, I used the code my father had taught us, to let her know I’d be sleeping in the big red barn on the Johnston’s property.

“Stay safe, and don’t do anything stupid, over.”

Beep, beep, beep.
Love you, too.

I pushed the bike inside and set up the cans which would alert me if anyone tripped the fishing wire. With the bike secured, I crawled up to the loft and sprawled out on the hay. I’d killed today, and even though it had been for a good reason, it left behind a darkness that bothered me. How many people would I have to kill before this was over? When would this be over? It had been months, and it was only getting worse.

Lying there in the blackness of night, it almost seemed normal. Until you listened to the silence and it sank in that nothing would ever be normal again. There would be no going back; the government was gone and those small factions claiming to be there to help you couldn’t be trusted, nor could the distress calls like the one my father went to go answer. I’d heard plenty of reports of people going to them, only to never radio back just like my dad didn’t. To me, it was a dead ringer for a red flag of trouble.

I closed my eyes without removing the mask, and slept.

Chapter 3

I woke up with the sun just rising. The smell of hay was rank, but what else had I expected? I sat up and looked around as I got my bearings. I’d dreamt of the man from yesterday, and it had left a tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach. I shrugged it off and reminded myself of what happened when men found women alone. Nothing good.

I stretched my arms, climbed out of the loft, and opened the huge doors before pushing my bike outside and closing them. I did a perimeter check with my eyes and when I was satisfied I wasn’t being watched, I climbed on the bike and headed home.

I walked in and was pounced on by Addy.

“Bitch! I was so worried that I barely managed to sleep at all,” she whined, and kissed my cheek.

“How’s Cathleen settling in?” I asked, changing the subject. I didn’t want to discuss why I had hay in my hoodie, pants, and boots, and well, let’s just say it was pretty much everywhere.

“She’s adapting. I asked her for her story for the record books.” The record book was where we kept the tales of everyone who we helped or saved along the way. It only had a few pages filled out, but eventually, we would write more. “She’s from Boise, and was the mother of a two year old who those men killed. They also killed her husband of five years, and she’s not ready to talk about it, but she seems to be healthy. She was definitely abused, but healthy.”

“Good,” I said as I pulled off the mask and shrugged the heavy pack off. I needed a shower and to change my clothes before I went back on patrol.  “How many are up and about?”

“Kaylah, Jillian, and Greta are awake. I can wake the others if you need them.”

“Do so,” I said stretching my back where it hurt from the night spent in the barn. “I want more of the dead burned, but we also need to grab some more supplies. We might need to make a trip into Spokane again.”

Spokane was the closest large city, but going there was always dangerous. “Has there been any news from Kameron or anyone from his group? He should have contacted us by now.”

“Nope, Jimmy and Grayson are working the radio this morning, and nothing has come across yet,” Addy said as she tied her long blonde hair into a tight ponytail. She’d been popular in school because she was outgoing, leggy, and beautiful, where as I was quiet and tended to hide in her shadow. Hey, if they can’t see me, they can’t make fun of me. Not like I cared what they thought; it’s just the taunting and insults can wear on you after a while.

I left her with a few orders and headed to my room. Inside, I peered at my tired reflection. My hair was getting long, and the once strawberry-blonde hair had turned darker without the sunrays to keep it light. My eyes were the color of the sky on a clear, brisk day. I was medium height, and medium build. Short when compared to Addy’s five foot eight frame. My breasts hadn’t come in till late, and while I’d been a late bloomer, they were at least decent but still easy to hide when needed.

I peeled off the vest, and worked the pants off until I was able to breathe again. It sucked to hide from the sun. It wasn’t like I wanted to tan; I just wanted to feel it shining on my face, to feel it heat my flesh. I missed being able to walk down the street. I missed simple things, but in the end, those things were huge. I’d always heard people say that most simple things were often the most missed…I hated that it was true.

I grabbed my shorts and slipped them on before grabbing everything I needed for the shower. We’d begun to make our own soaps and other necessities. It was easier than we had thought, but Maggie, one of the few I’d saved, was an amazing survival fanatic, and knew which herbs and natural greenery worked for what. The soap she made was priceless now.

Supplies were limited, and we tried to make what we could. It took a good deal of time to collect what we really needed to survive. I mean, how hard was it to grab a handful of flowers from the meadow, compared to walking through a dark store with no idea what was lying in wait to mess with you? 

Shampoo was harder for her to make, and considering my hair went to the middle of my back, and seriously needed conditioner, I did make those hard runs to obtain it. Most of the girls had chopped their hair off, but I had my own reasons for keeping mine long. Eventually, I would have to cut it, but not today.

I showered and changed into clean black cargo pants, and a Misfits tank top. I braided my hair and pinned it into a tight bun. I scanned my reflection in the mirror and grunted. I looked tired, and the black circles beneath my eyes were only getting darker with each passing day.

Dressed and ready for the day, I headed to the media room. Grayson was watching a monitor with Jimmy by his side. No one else was hanging out in there yet so it would hopefully give us a chance to catch up.

“Ems, check this out,” Grayson smiled as he pointed to a map of the United States that had been spread out on the table. Red pins indicated locations we knew there was people still alive in, as well as blue for supplies we’d left for survivors. “More red.”

I looked to the marker and narrowed my eyes. “California?”

“Yes, now can we go away from here?” he begged.

“You want to just pack up and leave? Because it’s
so
safe out there, Grayson,” I mumbled. For a preteen, he was a good kid. Often times I would risk it and hook him up with some comic books and other items. His entire room was filled with stuff I’d brought back for him.

“I would settle for a trip to town,” he whined.

“No; I told you, not until you are fully trained.”

“You and me trained with Dad for years, and now he’s gone! You don’t have time to train me anyway; you spend all of your time training the girls!”

“That’s because they’re older than you are, Grayson! You’re also my responsibility to care for, and I can’t be out there watching after you when I’m hunting. I train the girls because together, we work well. I need you to be here so I know you’re safe. It’s the only way this works.”

“I hate it here!” he shouted, and I cringed.

“More comic books? What do you want, Grayson?” He seemed to be doing this more and more as of late.

“I want you to look at me like I’m old enough to take care of myself! I was taught by Dad, too. I know what to do, Emma. I’m not stupid. I can learn to fight so that I can help you!”

“You are! But smart people don’t want to go outside; they don’t ask to go outside because it’s not safe!”

“You do!”

“I do it because I have to. Dad taught us how, but he also said you needed more training and to be able to control your temper more before you’d be ready to go out. I’ll see what I can find for you today, and I’m planning on going to Spokane soon, so I’ll make sure to hit up the comic book shop.”

“Promise?” he begrudgingly asked.

“I promise, and, Grayson. Try not to be in such a hurry to go out there. What you see on those monitors is only half of what happens. I love you, brat.”

With Grayson settled down, I headed to the main room. I’d redone a lot of the inside to make it more efficient. I walked to the wall of mask, as we referred to it and pulled down a modified sugar skull mask.

“How many are coming out?” I asked to no one in particular. I didn’t have to, because they knew if they didn’t pitch in, we wouldn’t survive the winter.

“Kaylah, Greta, and Jillian wanted to go. Who else?” Addy asked as she bounced into the room in a whirl of color. She had on yellow leggings, a blue shirt, and red skirt with hot pink
Nike
shoes. I smiled and wondered at her choice of clothes, but I wasn’t judging. Oh who am I kidding? Holy friggin’ rainbow!

“I’m not going,” Bonnie said as she flattened herself out on the couch.

“Well then what do you plan on doing?” I asked as I folded my arms over my chest.

“I don’t feel up to anything,” she complained.

She complained a lot. “Bonnie, you can either work here, or you can come with us. No one gets to sit around. No one.”

She glared at me, and I had to remind myself that while mentally punching the spoiled brat in the face was allowed, hitting her in front of everyone? Not such a smart plan.

“Who the hell died and left you in charge?” she snapped and I flinched.

“My father,” I whispered with venom dripping from my lips. “You want to try your chances on the outside? Go for it.”

Jillian and Bonnie were Towners as we called the people from our town that had joined our group here in the shelter. They had come here for help and we’d allowed it. We had a few others, but mostly we’d accepted the elderly or the young who had been abandoned or orphaned by the flu.

Bonnie glared at me, but it didn’t faze me one little bit. Little did anymore, and it was getting worse. The only thing I’d felt in the last week was the unexpected response from the mystery man. That, however, was unsettling. I’d never felt my body respond to any male like it had to him, and I’d made a mental note to take a break from reading romance novels for a while.

They were my guilty pleasure, which made me curious, but not enough to jump on the first male I saw. Not that my mystery man wasn’t jumping material, because he was. He was jumpable, but he also thought I was a gangly boy. I shook my head and turned my attention to the problem at hand. “You know the rules. You either help out, or get out, Bonnie. This place works because we all work on it; if I let you lounge around, others will try it, and I can’t allow that.”

Yes, I was taking the high road and being nice. Did it mean I wasn’t mentally punching her in my head? Nope. I was beating the tar out of her. She’d been a spoiled brat all through high school, and had been Jillian’s shadow. I watched as she twirled her dark blonde hair in her fingers and considered what I’d just said. Seriously, she had to consider it?

“I’m not doing laundry, or dishes,” she said as she stood up.

“Then tell me, Bonnie, what
are
you going to do?”

“No clue, but I refuse to do either of those chores.”

“Maggie!” I shouted and waited for the fortyish woman to pop her head in.

“Yes, Emma?” Maggie asked as her green eyes glowed with happiness; it told me she’d been playing with the children again.

“Bonnie’s clothes are not to be washed. If she wants them washed, she is to do them herself. Also, she’s volunteered to help you in the kitchen tonight, and would love to help you do the dishes. If she protests, she’s to be given more chores.”

Bonnie puffed out a groan but I ignored it and turned my attention to the group who was leaving the shelter with me. “Okay ladies, reminder time! Once we go through those doors there is to be no vocal cord usage. We use the hand signals for communications. We stick together unless I signal otherwise, and if you need a moment, you signal us and we will wait for you. Any request on the logs?” I asked Addy who was in charge of taking requests from those who couldn’t go outside of the shelter.

“Cathleen asked for a pregnancy test. Brent asked for more wires, and black tape. The duct tape is low, and Nana asked for more ointment for her rash.”

“Crap, that sounds like a hospital trip,” I said and scrunched up my nose. I hated going to the hospital. It had yet to be cleared out of the corpses, and was a cesspool of disease. I could find all those items there, and we had antibiotics on the ever growing backlist. Why? Because I’d put off going there in hopes of clearing it. I’d also have to go in alone. There really wasn’t any reason to take a group deep into it and I knew the layout like the back on my hand since I’d done my clinical there.

“I will do the hospital, and you guys can start the burnings,” I said as I watched them all gear up to match my outfit.  I slipped on my Kevlar vest, gloves, and then the lighter hoodie I’d grabbed when I was in Spokane last. It made it easier for me to haul tail through tainted areas. I grabbed my pack and emptied it of my last haul, which wasn’t much. I checked to make sure the quiver was full and that the crossbow was clean and working, as well as adding a handgun and a few knives to the holsters I’d created just for them.

By the time we were done, we looked like group of punk kids who had a serious Goth fetish. Each girl used the coroner’s cream, and no one complained about what they would be doing. It was life now, and if we didn’t clean the houses out, we would all eventually end up sick. We couldn’t bury them, because we couldn’t embalm them to prevent the disease from contaminating the ground.

I pressed the code into the buttons of the panel and opened up the doors, and waited until everyone had passed through before I turned to Addy. I gave her the sign for I love you, and blinked three times.

“Love you too, mute; in fact, I really like you mute!” she smiled as I raised my gloved middle finger.

Outside, Greta had the camouflaged tarp off of the Humvee, and was folding it up already. When we went out in large groups, we normally used the Humvees we’d stolen after the military had left Newport. No reason to leave them there for someone else to steal. I waited until they were loaded up, and climbed on my bike. I gave them the hand signal for them to move out, and followed behind them.

I waited until we hit the edge of town before moving in front of them and signaling which side of town they should hit first. It only made sense to clear the dead out of one side and work our way across it.

I sat with my feet on the pavement as I watched them head in the opposite direction of the way I needed to go. I did a scan of the surrounding area and looked for a place to hide my bike. I would walk most of the way to the hospital, since I couldn’t chance being caught there. The place was full of those who had sought treatment for the flu, but it was a small hospital and the waiting and treatment rooms, beds and morgue were full of the dead.

I ended up parking it in the bushes of one of the houses beside the highway, and glared at the sundial/thermometer in Mr. Linksys’s front yard that said it was a blistering ninety-five degrees today. I passed through the yard, with kid’s toys scattered through them and hated knowing that these houses still had those poor, innocent souls inside of them. Ones we would have to burn eventually. You would think that more people would have gotten out of town, but it was as if they’d gone into shock and just tried to ride it out at home.

Newport hadn’t boasted of many residents. Sad part was, it was one of the largest cities in Pend Oreille County. It hadn’t even been considered a city until the late seventies.

I reached down and picked up a discarded Newport Minor paper, and then let it drop to the ground. I scanned the dark corners of the buildings down South Washington Ave, and listened. Even though it was a small city, it had once been alive.

Now, it was a ghost town. I brought up my crossbow and slipped an arrow from my pouch into my hand. The silence of the town was unnerving and set me on alert every time I came to it. It was silent today, and deafening. Bodies had been littered all over the streets for the first few months after the flu had had ravaged the town.

Dad had said in the panic, the overwhelming numbers of people who’d come out from the smaller towns for help, Newport had been the rally point for those in need. It ended up being a mass grave site when the CDC had announced that there was no vaccination for what was killing millions of people.