Darkest Ecstasy (24 page)

“Fuck.” Talen dropped his head until his forehead struck the steering wheel. Malek didn't understand. He had the woman he loved. He didn't know what it was like losing the biggest, best part of his soul.

“Look, I know what you're going through. Been there.”

“No, you haven't. You married her. You married Lei.” Talen closed his eyes. At least then he could see her. That sweet face, those eyes.

“Did you forget the hell I went through before Lei agreed to marry me?”

“Maybe I did. Because I don't recall you leaving her behind. When it came time to move, she was on board. She was yours.” Unable to sit for another fucking second, Talen got out of the truck and ambled down the sidewalk, toward Michelle's apartment.

Malek followed him. “Yeah, well, there was a time when I was sure I would be losing her forever. And it hurt like hell. Worse than hell.”

Talen didn't respond. His guts were being crushed and wrung and ripped. Since he had left last night, he'd been in agony. It was wrong, living without her. Nothing felt like it should. But still he knew she would be better off without him and without all the danger that came with him.

“This was your choice, Talen,” his brother reminded him as he stopped next to a tree. “Nobody told you what to do.” Malek's phone rang. “It's Drako,” he said. “He's probably wondering where the hell we are.” His fingers tapped out a message as he spoke. “We don't want him thinking the Chimera got us. And we don't want him and the girls sitting around, waiting, targets.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Malek shook his shoulder. “Come on. Are you going to take the other one? What was her name?”

“No. She's Chimera,” he said, staring down at the lumpy ground at the base of the tree. “She has to be.”

“They found us in a hurry this time. We'd better go.”

That much was true. They hadn't been in southern Ohio for long at all. That was part of the reason why he'd made the decision he had about Michelle. If they weren't able to shake the Chimera this time, their lives could become very different. What little peace they had known might be lost for good. That was not what he wanted for her, or their child.

“Come on, bro. You love her too much to make her go through hell with us. I get that. Sometimes I wish I'd been strong enough to do the same for Lei. And sometimes I think her problems having a child might have been for the best. If I divorce her . . .” Malek visibly swallowed. “Then she wouldn't have to be afraid anymore. You know what I mean?”

Understanding exactly what Malek was thinking, Talen nodded. “Yeah. It's tough.” He turned, gazing at her window again. “I want Michelle. I want her more than anything. But it wouldn't be right.”

“We weren't prepared for this. We should have been. But we weren't.” Malek jerked his head toward the truck. “Come on. It's time to go.”

Talen turned and took a couple of steps toward the Range Rover before swiveling to steal a glance over his shoulder.

There she was.

It was her. His Michelle. Strolling to her car as if she hadn't a care in the world.

As it should be.

S
print Fitness.

Women's locker room.

Locker number 105.

She pushed the key into the lock and twisted. Inside she found a duffel bag. There was a tag. Feeling a little unsure if she was doing something wrong, she checked the tag.

Michelle Linsey.

Okay. He'd made sure she would know this bag was intended for her. She pulled it out, and, leaving the key in the lock, headed out to her car. The minute she was locked in her car, she unzipped the bag. Inside she found several large plastic bags full of cash and a white envelope. Stuffing the cash back in the bag, she left the envelope out, then zipped the bag back up and started her car.

Her hands were trembling.

She had no idea how much money was in that bag. She'd never seen so much cash in one place. Just from that one glance, she'd noticed that there were bills of different denominations. Fifties. Twenties. Hundreds. There was no way to know how much money was actually there until she sat down and counted it.

It would take a while. As curious as she was, she didn't want to take the time now. But it was terrifying, driving around with so much cash.

Should she hide it somewhere? Take it back to the gym and lock it up where it would be safe?

A tremor quaked through her as the reality of what she had in her possession hit her.

That was a lot of money—cash meant to provide for her baby. Cash that meant the difference between them struggling to make ends meet and living a comfortable life.

She needed that money. Desperately.

And she had Talen Gryffon to thank for it. Talen. That was his real name. She would use that name from this point on. Talen Gryffon.

But driving around with it, that was foolish. What if she stopped somewhere to go to the bathroom and someone broke into her car? She needed to put it somewhere safe.

A bank was the safest place she could think of.

She turned her car back on the road, but headed in the opposite direction. As she drove, she checked the clock. Her bank would be open by the time she got there. She'd get a bank deposit box, put the bag in there, and then rest easy knowing it was safe.

As she drove the rest of the way, all she could do was silently thank Talen for thinking of her and their child, of wanting to make sure they wouldn't struggle for the rest of their lives.

And for loving her so much he let her go.

That was the kind of love she'd always dreamed of. Selfless love. Giving love. Little had she known how painful that kind of love could be.

Her stop at the bank went over without a hitch. And once she knew her money was safe, it was easier for her to relax and enjoy the drive out to her mother's place. It wasn't a long trip, just lengthy enough for her to do a little reflecting. But not long enough for her to mentally prepare herself to give her mom the shocking news, that she was pregnant and unmarried. Her mother would be devastated.

Thus, her reunion with her mother wasn't as joyful as she'd hoped. The woman was extremely astute. She sensed something was wrong from the moment she laid eyes on Michelle.

“What is it?” her mother asked, after giving Michelle a big, squeezy hug. “What's wrong?”

Something inside Michelle snapped. A sob ripped up her throat. Clinging to the one human being she knew she could count on, she let all her tears of frustration and loss and terror go.

Her mother gently pulled her into the house and held her until all her tears had dried up and there was nothing left. “Is it a man?” her mom asked as she handed Michelle a tissue.

Michelle dabbed at her soggy, swollen face and nodded. “Yes.”

“Love hurts,” her mother said.

“Yes, it does. More than I ever imagined.”

“Where is he?” Mom asked, handing her another tissue.

“I don't know. Gone.”

“He'll come back.”

“No. That won't happen. He can't come back. It's all so complicated.”

“If he loves you, as much as you love him, he will. Nothing else will matter. He won't be able to stay away.”

“This is different.” Michelle's insides twisted. “It's because he loves me that he won't come back.”

“We'll see about that.” Her mom's gaze searched her face as she smoothed Michelle's flyaway hair back from her face. “We'll just see about that.”

“Mom, there's more.” Michelle swallowed hard, knowing she was about to break her mother's heart. How many times had her mom told her she didn't want to ever see Michelle struggle to raise a child by herself? How many times had she warned her not to get herself into that position? “I . . . I . . .” She couldn't do it. She couldn't say the words. A tear seeped from the corner of her eye.

Her mother pulled Michelle into her arms again and kissed the top of her head. “He'll be back if he's worth anything.”

 

Hours passed. No Talen.

Michelle tried not to let her heartache ruin her time with her mother. But it was difficult. She didn't have a lot to say. She couldn't enjoy the things she used to, like walks down dirt country roads, or watching her mother's favorite television shows with her. Or even eating.

Days passed. Still no Talen, not that she expected him. He had no idea where she was, where her mother lived.

The more time went by, the more Michelle came to accept that she would never see Talen again. But even though she accepted it, the pain still gnawed at her. By the time her final day with her mother had arrived, Michelle had found a small measure of peace. She would carry on alone. She would make a happy home for her child. A nurturing family. And she would do it here, with her mother. She'd find a job and move. Any job. This was the kind of environment she wanted her child to grow up in. Safe. Beautiful. Full of nature and clean air and dirt and space to run.

This was her past. And it would be her future, too.

She walked down a winding dirt drive that meandered along a line of trees. At the end of a long driveway sat a beautiful farmhouse, nestled in a clearing circled by tall oaks. She'd always loved that house. It was set far back from the road. There was a barn. Fields. A pond with ducks.

And a
For Sale
sign.

It was for sale.

If only she had enough to buy that place. It was perfect. She hurried her pace, tromping down the road. Gravel crunched under her feet.

Gravel crunched behind her. Was it a car? A child on a bike? She glanced over her shoulder.

Her heart jerked.

“Michelle.”

Talen. He had found her. Her gaze snapped to his eyes. What was he doing here? Her heart literally stalled for one, two, three seconds.

“Talen.” She glanced left, right. They were alone . . . she thought. “Is it safe?”

“Probably not. But I had to come find you.” Moving swiftly, he grabbed her wrist and tugged her into the deep shadows along the tree line. Once they were obscured, he set both hands on her shoulders and held her in place. “Did you get my package?”

Was that why he'd come? Just to make sure she had the money? Or had he come for something else? “I did,” she whispered. “Thank you. I have no idea how much is there, but anything will be a help. I may not be able to work.”

“There's enough for you to quit working. Permanently. And . . . I can send more from time to time.”

So, it was the money. “That's very generous. Thank you.”

“You're carrying my child. I want to help. I'd rather be a part of his life, but . . . if that isn't possible . . .” He stared into her eyes. “I can't stop thinking about you.”

“Me, either.”

His hand cupped her cheek, and she tilted her head, resting it against his palm. Her eyelids lowered as she focused on that small touch, the heat, the soft caress, the ache of wanting more.

Why couldn't things be simple? Why did loving this man have to be so painful and complicated?

“When you aren't near, all I can think about is you,” he said. “Where you are. Whether you're safe.”

She placed her hand over his. “Talen.” She could hear the turmoil in her own voice.

“I want you to be happy,” he told her.

“I know.”

His gaze dragged across her face. His eyes were so dark, so full of confusion and turmoil. “Tell me what to do.”

“I don't know. I really don't know.”

“I haven't married anyone yet. My brother is putting pressure on me to find someone.”

“You didn't marry Angela?” Just imagining him married to another woman made her insides feel like they were being thrashed.

“No. She's . . . she is working for them.”

“You know about her?”

He nodded.

“I wish I knew what to do,” she whispered.

“Being with me . . . it isn't easy. We have to move often, take new identities. We have to stay to ourselves, can't trust people.”

She pressed against his hand, holding it to her cheek. “It must be a very lonely life.”

“It is if you don't have someone . . . you love.”

“I think any life is a lonely life if you don't have someone you love,” she confessed.

“I've never loved anyone like I love you.” His thumb grazed her lip.

“Me, either,” she whispered, blinking. Her eyes were burning again. Her nose, too. Dammit, she was going to cry. “If only things could be simple. Normal.”

“I wish that could be, too. You have no idea how much I wish for that. But it can't ever be. Not for me or my brothers. Not for anyone who is in our lives.” He tugged on his hand.

She let it go. “Have you moved already?”

“My brothers and their wives are on their way to our next home.”

“Is it far?”

“Yes. I won't ever see you again.”

She blinked a few times. Never was a long time. Never was a lifetime.

She glanced around. This was home. A place that made her feel safe. At peace.

But it wasn't enough. Not even having that house, the perfect house with the pond and the ducks and the barn, would be enough if she had to live in it without Talen.

“If I knew my mother was safe . . .” she thought aloud, not really knowing where it might lead.

“If we took her with us, she'd have to understand she can't contact anyone from her past,” he warned.

“She doesn't have anyone but me.” Michelle's heart started thumping fast, hard.

“And she'd have to leave everything behind. Her home. Her possessions. Everything.”

“My mother has never been fond of things. Could she really go with us? Would my mother be safe?”

“As safe as the rest of us. There would always be a risk. For all of us.”

“But at least we would be together.”

“Yes.” He leaned closer, until his mouth was hovering over hers. “I want you, Michelle. More than I want to take my next breath. But not if you'll be unhappy. It'll kill me if you come and then regret it.”

She closed the distance between them, sealing her mouth to his and letting her kiss tell him everything her heart was feeling. Would she regret this decision? She hoped not. All she knew was that the world was too empty without him. She had to take the risk.

His tongue stroked the seam of her mouth and she opened to him, welcoming his intimate caress. Her mouth filled with his sweet flavor, and her body filled with pounding heat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back until her legs were so wobbly they could barely hold her weight.

When the kiss ended, she was dizzy and breathless and shaky. She inhaled, pulling in a lung full of air, then let it out in a long sigh.

He rested his forehead against hers. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I'm sure. I want to be with you, Talen. No matter what.”

The craziest impulse flashed through her head. Acting upon it, she reached for his hands and placed them on her breasts. “I need you.”

A low growl vibrated in the air between them. His eyes turned dark. “Now?” His hands slid down her stomach.

Her breath caught in her throat. “Yes. Please.”

“Michelle.” He pushed her top up, exposing her bra.

Her heart rate kicked up to double-time. “Take me.”

His fingers hooked over the top of her bra cup. His gaze raked over her body, making her skin sizzle.

God, this man could make her melt with just a look. Her empty pussy clenched. Reaching around her back, she unclasped her bra.

He pushed the cups up, exposing her breasts. Her nipples were already hard, tight little peaks. “Beautiful,” he uttered as he lowered his head. His tongue flicked over one aching bud, and her back arched. More, she needed more. “Say it again,” he whispered. Then he pulled her nipple into his warm mouth and suckled hard.

Little blades of pleasure pierced her insides. Her knees wobbled. “Take me, Talen. I'm yours,” she muttered as she slowly sank. Strong arms cradled her, eased her to the ground. She lay on a blanket of earth and cool grass, the brilliant blue sky poking through a thick woven blanket of tree branches overhead.