Darkest Ecstasy (23 page)

“What about my mother?” she asked.

“If you stay behind, I believe they'll release her the minute they learn you've lost contact with us.”

“I'm not so sure it'll be that easy.” That sounded so simple. Let him go, and they would both be safe?

She could do that.

Couldn't she?

Her insides twisted into a knot.

“I'm sure it'll work,” he reassured her.

Could she say good-bye? Right now?

Sure, she could. She could say good-bye.

But what if it didn't work? What if? “If that's the case, and you know she'll be safe, why did you bring me here, knowing you would keep her in danger? Why?”

His gaze dropped to the floor. He shoved his fingers through his hair. “I was—am—being selfish.” He lifted his eyes to hers. They were full of raw emotion. Sadness. Longing. Guilt. “I want you. I want our child.”

“And you're willing to risk my mother's life to keep me?”

“I'm willing to risk my life, and the lives of my brothers to keep you,” he said softly. “If you come with us, we will go after your mother. And we'll be taking a huge risk to do it. That risk, we're taking for your sake.”

“I don't know.” She glanced down at the book, now resting in her lap.
Persuasion.
Wasn't that title fitting right now?

He cupped her chin and lifted it, supporting it as her gaze wandered up, up, up to his eyes. They were dark, emotion still swirling in their depths. “If you don't come with us, I will never see you again. I will never hold my child.”

Her heart jerked.

If she went with him, her mother might not be released safely. And yet, if she didn't, who knew? Maybe the CIA or Chimera or whoever would kill her anyway?

Then she'd be alone, with no one to turn to for help.

Either way, she was going to be terrified.

Either way, she might lose her mom.

This was an impossible choice. How would she decide what to do?

W
hat the hell am I doing?

There sat the most important woman in his life. Michelle meant more to Talen than anything, anyone. She was carrying his child, a child he needed. A child who might spare Lei from the pain of being tossed away.

And she held his heart in her hands.

Yet, he was about to set her free.

It was the right thing to do, the only choice he could make. He loved her too much to watch her go through another moment of pain.

He'd suffered a weak moment. That was why he'd brought her here. He'd thought for a short time that he might be able to go through with it, take her with him, marry her, despite the risk to her mother's life.

But now that the moment was at hand, he couldn't get himself to do it.

He studied each of her features, trying desperately to commit them to memory. Those full, plump lips, curved ever so slightly up as if she were hiding a naughty secret. The elegant curve of her cheekbone. The straight, narrow line of her little nose. The cool blue of her eyes. Still cupping her chin, he leaned closer, wanting to draw in the scent of her skin one last time. After today, the only thing he would have of her would be memories. He wanted them to be as vivid as possible.

Closer.

He inhaled deeply, listening to the soft sound of her little gasping breaths. She responded so strongly to him. Was that why he'd been so drawn to her?

One taste. Couldn't he have one last kiss?

He drew closer yet. Now her sweet breath caressed his face. It felt as if a magnetic force was pulling him even closer. He couldn't fight it. He wasn't strong enough.

He had never been strong enough.

His lips made contact with hers, and he was swept away from the dark, depressing world of reality into a brilliant, beautiful place. There he was warm and alive. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want the kiss to end.

Gathering his sweet temptress into his arms, he deepened the kiss. His tongue stroked inside her mouth. She tasted decadent, like some kind of rare, luscious fruit. She sighed, trembled, then wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her soft body against his.

Ah, this was the woman who fit in his arms perfectly. No other woman would ever feel so right. He didn't want to let her go. It was killing him to do it.

You must.

His hand slid down her back, over her round derriere. She whimpered and tipped her hips, pressing against his leg. A blaze swept through his body.

If he didn't cut this off in the next second or two, it would be too late. He caressed her tongue with his once, twice. The hand not resting on her ass supported her head, fingers tangled in silken tresses. He could hold her there, kiss her until she couldn't think anymore. He might even be able to convince her to go with him.

But he wouldn't do it. He loved her too much.

He would let her go.

But first, there was one last thing he had to do.

He pulled the scarf from his pocket. It just about killed him to break the kiss. It felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest. He lifted the scarf.

“What's that?” Her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink, her lips swollen.

“I need to blindfold you.”

“Why?”

“I don't want you to see where we're going.” He caressed one of her silken cheeks with a thumb. “Will you trust me? I'm thinking only of you. No one else. Especially not myself.”

She searched his eyes for a few heartbeats, then slowly nodded. “Yes, I will trust you.” She pivoted, turning her back to him, allowing him to tie the blindfold.

Once he had the blindfold in place, he brushed one last kiss across her lips. His eyes burned as he carefully led her to his car and helped her into it. As he was circling the front of the vehicle, Drako came out into the garage. They exchanged knowing glances. Drako mouthed, “I'm sorry,” to his brother. Talen nodded.

Off he went, speeding toward her home. He held her hand the entire drive, wishing he would never have to let it go. Tears gathered in his eyes, and he had to keep blinking them away. Who would have thought he'd ever feel so strongly for a woman? That he would ever shed a tear at the thought of losing one? Over the last five years, he'd walked away from so many. Never, not once, had he regretted it.

As much as he wished the drive would take a lifetime, it didn't. It was over too soon, and he was parking his car, dreading the next moment. He'd prepared for this. Earlier, while she'd been waiting, wondering what was happening, he had put together a note, and a little something that he hoped would ease the pain and burden of raising their child alone. It probably wouldn't be enough. But it was all he could offer.

This was it, the last time he would see her.

Twisting in his seat, he faced her. She was sitting there looking so beautiful. Although she said she trusted him, she was nervous. He could see the swift rise and fall of her chest. The hand he wasn't holding was curled into a tight fist.

He leaned toward her and closed his eyes, his lips not quite touching hers. This time he couldn't allow himself to kiss her. If he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to go through with this.

I love you, Michelle. I love you more than I should.

“Tage?” she whispered.

“We're here. I'll help you out of the car. Once I get you inside, you have to promise me you won't move for five minutes. Not a finger. Not a toe. Nothing. It's important.”

“Okay.”

He dragged in a deep breath. “All right. Wait here.”

She nodded.

He handed her bag to her, then left the car, circled around to her door, and helped her out and up to the door. It was locked, but he'd taken her keys out of her bag before giving it to her. After unlocking the door, he led her inside, set her keys on the table next to the door. Then he pulled the small package from his pocket and left it next to her keys.

She was standing stiffly, her lips parted slightly, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

“It's going to be okay now. I promise.” A strand of hair fluttered in front of her face. He tucked it behind her ear, then smoothed his hand down the side of her head. “Thank you for trusting me.”

She visibly swallowed. Her hand lifted to his, resting on top of it. She was shaking now, worse than before. “I'm sorry for being so weak—”

“Shhhhh. There's no reason for you to apologize. You're perfect. Always perfect.” He ached to kiss her. His arms burned to hold her. One more time. Only once.

No. You can't. You won't let her go.

He let his fingers trail down the curve of her jaw. Then he let her go. “Don't move,” he warned.

“I won't.”

“I don't want you to be hurt.”

“I promise I'll stay right here. What's going on? Am I hiding for a little while? When will you be back?”

“Everything is okay. You can trust me.”

Somehow, he made it out the door and into his car. Without looking to see if she'd listened, he pulled out onto the road and hit the gas.

It was done.

She was free.

Her life was her own again.

 

Four fifty-seven Mississippi, four fifty-eight Mississippi, four fifty-nine Mississippi . . . five.

Michelle pulled the blindfold down.

Her apartment. She was back in her apartment.

That meant... oh God, that meant he'd decided he didn't want her. He didn't want their child. He had told her he would be taking a risk by keeping them in his life. Clearly they weren't worth that risk.

Her heart shattered.

From the moment he had taken her to his place today, she'd kept telling herself it would be better if he would walk away, go without her. At least then she wouldn't be forced to live the rest of her life as a fugitive.

But somehow knowing that wasn't easing the pain.

She hurt. Everywhere. Inside. Outside. Head. Chest. Stomach. Legs.

She staggered to the couch and fell onto it.

He didn't say good-bye. Nor did he give her the chance to tell him how she felt. Maybe that was why it hurt so much. She would never have closure.

“I loved you,” she shouted as she surged to her feet. He wouldn't hear her, but she had to say it anyway. And although she felt as if the world was tipping and rocking, she couldn't sit. Too much adrenaline was charging through her veins. “I loved you so much I would have gone with you. Willingly. Despite the danger.”

She staggered to the window and jerked open the shades. The car was gone.

How could he leave without saying good-bye? Without giving her the chance to say good-bye to him? How?

He had stolen her choice. He hadn't let her decide what was best for herself.

“You bastard!”

Tears burned her eyes. She didn't try to stop them. They flowed until there were none left.

What would she do now?

Her phone. She could call him. He had to give her a chance to at least tell him how she felt. Surely he would answer when he saw her number.

She stumbled to the table where her purse was sitting.

There was a small package sitting next to her keys, roughly the size of her wallet.

What's this?

She grabbed it and wasted no time tearing it open.

Inside she found a letter and a key.

Fury charged through her. Oh, so he got his closure. He made sure of that. But she . . . she hadn't . . . oh hell. A sob ripped through her chest. He loved her. This was his way of showing her. It was a horrible way, but it was something.

“I love you, too. I don't know how I'll live without you,” she whispered as she fingered the key.

After giving herself some time to settle down, she put the key in the zippered pocket of her wallet, dropped it into her purse, and checked her phone.

Mom. Mom had called? She checked the time. Ten minutes ago.

Holding her breath, she dialed her mother's number. It rang once. Twice.

A click.

“Hello?”

It was Mom? Mom!

Michelle swallowed a sob. “Mom! You're okay? Where are you?”

“I'm at home, honey. Why? Where did you think I was?”

What did she mean by that? “Mom, you called and there was a scream. The call cut off, and I thought... I thought something had happened.”

“Nothing happened. What would happen? Honey, are you okay?”

What the hell? “Yes. I'm fine.”

“You said you were coming for a few days. Why did you change your plans?”

This was so weird. It was as if nothing had happened, nothing at all. Had she jumped to the wrong conclusion? Had she let her imagination get the better of her?

No. She'd received that call. About the photographs. It had to be what Tage had said, they'd abducted her but then released her, wiping out her memory somehow. And they'd done it quickly. That meant they must have watched Tage bring her home and knew he wouldn't be returning.

She checked the clock. It was after seven already.

If she had left on time this morning, she would have been at her mom's hours ago. It was getting late now. She wasn't really in the frame of mind to drive for hours in the dark. And she was out of danger now. They both were. There was no reason to hurry.

“I'll leave tomorrow morning,” she said. “I have to run an errand first and then I'll head out.”

“Are you sure you're all right?” Mom asked.

“Yes, Mom. I'm fine. I . . . just had a few surprises today. Unfortunately, I couldn't get going like I'd planned.”

“All right. I'll see you tomorrow, then. Please call me when you set off, so I know when to expect you.”

“I will. I'm sorry I was held up for a day.”

“That's okay. I'm just glad I'll see you tomorrow. Drive carefully.”

“You know I always do. Love you, Mom,” she said before saying good-bye and hanging up. Then she headed for her bedroom.

What a crazy day. So full of twists and turns she felt as if she'd been riding on the world's worst roller coaster.

Or lived the most bizarre nightmare of her life.

Tomorrow, she hoped, would be more normal.

More normal, except for the huge hole in her heart. The one she suspected would never heal.

 

“What are you doing here? You let her go. That was your choice.” In the passenger seat of Talen's loaded-up Range Rover, Malek gave Talen an impatient glare. “We need to get going.”

“I know.” Talen's fingers tightened around the steering wheel. He shouldn't be here. He knew that. It was dangerous. Stupid. Pathetic, too. But he couldn't help himself. He wanted to see her one last time. Just once more. “Give me five more minutes.”

Malek's sigh could be heard in Utah. “We're wasting time.”

“I know. Just one more minute.” Talen squinted at her window. There. That shadow. Was that her? His heart jerked.

“We've been here long enough. The girls are ready. Drako's waiting.” Malek gave Talen's shoulder a shake. “Talen, we have to go.”