Dating A Saint (25 page)

His hands tightened on her, the urge to take her coming swift and strong. He wanted to bend Lauren to his will, pleasure her until his name was the only sound she could make. He ran restless, greedy hands over her soapy breasts and pressed his erection harder against the back of her hips as she moaned. There was a darkness in both of them, hundreds of needs gone way too long unmet, and Jim wanted to explore that with her, but not today. Not today when they had to mend their hearts first.

“No matter how much I want to unleash myself completely on you, I just can’t abandon sanity with you yet. Give me some time before you try to talk me into it,” Jim pleaded. “I have to get my quota of looking you in the eye first. It’s just something I feel strongly about, something I need to do with you. What do you have to say?”

Lauren turned in Jim’s arms. “I say—any way, any time. And yes, one day I intend to make you desperate enough to take me without thinking twice about it, but I can wait. Can I manhandle you now?”

“Oh, you asking permission this time?” Jim laughed at the expression on her face, the steely gaze, the darkness he could see her fighting not to unleash on him. The look in her eye was definitely at odds with the sweet tone of the question.

“Being brave is hard for me, but I feel I owe you a full apology,” she explained.

Jim looked confused and shook his head. The warm water beat steady on Lauren’s back, splashing off her and onto both of them.

Lauren put her arms around the only man she wanted, kissed him as deeply as she could, and then hooked one leg around his as she pushed him back against the cold tile wall. He didn’t complain about the coldness on his backside, but she intended to distract him from that soon anyway.

“I owe you an apology for being so bitchy with you. Are you man enough to accept it? Look me in the eyes when you give me your answer,” she demanded on a laugh, reaching between them to stroke his hard length with a firm hand. Once, twice, and again until Lauren saw Jim’s eyelids drifting down. His breathing became erratic, but he didn’t try to stop her.

“Say you forgive me for being a bitch today, and then you can close your eyes and enjoy this,” Lauren said, kissing the pulse at his neck as she continued her motions. Jim was arching against her hand, letting his body respond. Her need to please him, to utterly destroy any feeling he had of not deserving pleasure, churned in her gut.

“Say you forgive me,” she ordered, her voice echoing off the tile walls.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jim hissed on a laugh, wincing when she squeezed harder on the next stroke. “Fine. I will forgive you anything—except stopping.” He laughed at his own joke, but the laughter didn’t last long.

She slid down his body, taking him into her mouth, robbing him of rational thought.

“Lauren? What are you doing? You don’t have to—ah, God,” Jim cried, as she held his hips still while she moved on him as she pleased, doing things he hadn’t even dreamed about.

“I can’t—wait, Lauren.
Lauren
.” The last time he said her name it was practically a scream, followed by a violent climax that left him vibrating against her still busy mouth which had not stopped moving yet. He thought he heard her laugh, but couldn’t be sure with all the blood rushing away from his brain.

When she was finally satisfied, Jim watched her stand and let more water cascade over her face and hair.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Jim asked when he could actually speak again. “I haven’t—the last time I had that was in college. And it was
nothing
close to what you just did.”

“Did you get to watch? I wanted you to see how sorry I was,” Lauren said, smiling and laughing because Jim was all but sliding down the wall.

“Disbelief and dizziness kept me from it,” Jim told her, reaching out to trail fingers in the rivers running off her breasts. “You don’t feel inclined to apologize to anyone else like that, do you?”

Lauren shook her head, unable to stifle a grin. Regina’s books were amazing. “No—just you. Since I’m sure to make you mad again soon, next time you can watch.”

“You don’t have to—,” Jim began, only to stop talking when she pressed her whole body along his and her fingertips firmly against his lips. Lauren in this mood was not a woman many men could say no to and mean it.

“—of course I don’t have to do it. That’s why I enjoyed it enough to want to do it again,” she said quietly, running cool wet fingers along his arms. “Your hunk rating just shot off my chart today. You need to buy more jeans.”

“Absolutely. More jeans. Got it. You keep a chart?” Jim asked, wondering if indeed Lauren had found any potential lovers during all her dating.

“Yes, I made it a list, but it turned out to be a total waste of time,” she said, using her hands to apply soap to him, all of him.

Jim let her do as she pleased, holding her gaze as much as she would let him. Her total absorption in her task was as serious as the look on her face.

“Why was the list a waste of time?” Jim asked, intrigued to hear the answer, hoping it would set his mind at ease about Lauren possibly wanting other men.

“I only ever put one guy on the list,” Lauren said with shrug. “Now I have to face the truth. You’re going to be a damn hard man to follow.”

“Problem solved, baby. There will be no one following me. You’re never going to find better,” Jim bragged, tugging her to him for a kiss. “You’re for damn sure never going to find anyone as motivated as I am to keep you happy in bed.”

“Probably not,” Lauren said agreeably, letting herself lean against Jim as he released her “Dating was too much work anyway. Next time I’m shopping for a lover, I’m just going to let Alexa make me a list of potentials. I’ve decided that I’m never going without sex again in my life. I’m going to get her to put little stars by the ones that are really, really good.”

Though convinced she was teasing about the list, Jim was pretty sure she meant the part about not going without sex. He had the same gut-level hell-no reaction he always had when he thought about Lauren and other men. Jim grabbed a handful of her wet hair, used it to tug her back so he could devour her throat. He didn’t bother to be nice about it. He just took what he wanted. She was struggling against his hold before he turned her loose. He smiled when he saw he managed to put brands on both sides.

Mine, he thought. There was no guilt, no regret, nothing but absolute certainty.

Her nipples were hard, her breathing erratic, and the water poured off the miles of skin and curve he was going to spend years exploring.

“Come home with me tonight,” Jim ordered, remembering his earlier plans before she’d distracted him in the shower. “Stay with me. In my bed. In my home. I want you there.”

“I was wondering when you were going to offer,” Lauren said, smiling. “Got some kind of time frame in mind?”

“Yes, but that’s a discussion for a more rational day. For now, pack for a couple nights. If you’re willing, I’d like to take you to Maryland with me for a visit. You need to meet the rest of my family. I don’t intend to hide you from them.”

Jim turned off the shower, stepped out and retrieved the giant bath sheet hung nearby. He wrapped it around Lauren.

“I wanted you to meet Cassan—no, let me try this again. I want to be sure I’m being clear about this. I want you to meet my
siste
r and her husband,” Jim said carefully at last. “I’ve decided that’s who Cassandra is to me now, who she has been for many years. It’s one of the things I’m changing.”

Lauren swayed on her feet, blackness threatening to take her under. Jim was forced to catch her to keep her upright. They stood there for a long moment, gazes locked.

“I’d be happy to meet your family—anyone you care about,” Lauren said softly.

“I talked to her and Sam about you last week,” Jim whispered, feeling the tremor of emotion that shook her. “This is hell and far from anything
normal
, but I’m winging it while I look for a better solution for all of us. They know you’re in my life and expect you to be in their lives too.”

She had only known about his wife for a week and now Jim wanted Lauren to meet her. It made her spin, but then evidently so did he.

Lauren opened her towel and wrapped it around both of them. “I am in your life, and I guess we’ll have to figure out a way to deal with everyone else who’s a part of it.”

“I don’t want to be away from you now. Will you think about—will you consider moving in with me?” Jim asked. “It might destroy the rest of your reputation, but probably no more than us dating. Sharing a home with you is as close to normal as I may be able to give us. I’d really like to be with you every day.”

“I need a little more time to get used to us having a relationship, but I will give moving in with you some thought,” Lauren said, running a hand over his face to reassure both of them. “Don’t worry about what’s left of my reputation. I don’t care if I become notorious, so long as I get to have you.”

“You get to have me, no matter what you decide about moving in,” Jim said, putting his forehead against hers. “Lady, I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

Her nervousness was making his worse, Jim thought. The idea of Lauren meeting Cassandra seemed okay in theory, but the reality was turning out to be another matter. Both of them needed a distraction so they could stop dwelling on it for the entire car ride.

Today Lauren wore crisp denim jeans, a white tee shirt, and a light pink sweater. Her feet were in simple white tennis shoes. She looked easily half her age, and his—he reminded himself, which confused him even more. How could the woman look so young and innocent when her sexually mature mind could come up with the most extraordinary things to turn him inside out?

Jim studied her long legs stretched out in the floor board of his Suburban, recalling vividly when she used them last night to hold him down while she—shit, he had to stop thinking about being with her.

It wasn’t like Lauren was trying to be alluring. Just the opposite, in fact.

Lauren was silent, not even bothering with polite conversation, just staring out the window at the passing scenery. It was another unusual character trait Jim had discovered about her. She could just stop talking for hours. She could be silent, totally and utterly silent. And when she meditated, she could be so still Jim thought she was asleep.

Truth was though, in the short time they’d been lovers, the woman had shown a real penchant for doing things to and with him that lingered in his mind long after the pleasure had faded. Hell, he hadn’t even known he had some of the fantasies she’d already fulfilled. His imagination obviously wasn’t as good as hers.

Not that he had a problem with her resourcefulness, Jim thought. He hadn’t felt so physically satisfied and relaxed in a long damn time, or really at any time in his life.

Lauren was just—his equal in everything, Jim decided. She fully expected him to reciprocate. As a lover, Lauren McCarthy was both tireless and demanding. It was getting to where he could time how long it took for her to start demanding, and also how long it took the demanding to turn to begging—just before she exploded in his arms. The woman reached for and found her pleasure, and Jim found himself constantly racing to join her.

And if he kept thinking about the two of them together, his tight jeans were going to strangle parts of him he’d just as soon keep in better working order now that he was using them so productively again.

“So what do you think of the house?” Jim asked, grasping at the first topic other than sex that popped into his head.

“You mean the mansion you call your home?” Lauren teased. “I don’t know how you ever walk around it without getting lost. I bet it’s at least forty-five hundred square feet.”

Jim shrugged. “The main house is close to five thousand. The total living space is sixty-two if you count the pool house and guest suite over the garage.”

“All that room for just one person,” Lauren teased, then could have bitten her tongue out. When Jim looked out the window without replying, there was nothing to do but sigh. Just because the place felt like a mausoleum now didn’t meant it didn’t represent dreams of better times.

“The terrace by the pool would be great for entertaining. I can see setting up a bar at one end, and the existing lights from all the rooms facing out to it probably make it look like a movie set,” Lauren said cheerfully, trying to make amends for bringing up a painful past.

“Sounds nice,” Jim said thoughtfully. “I never got a chance to entertain much. The house wasn’t even finished when Cassandra was institutionalized the first time.”

Lauren reached over and put a hand on Jim’s leg, initiating the intimacy because she needed it as much as he did.

“Will you help me throw a party this summer?” Jim asked, trying not to enjoy the hand resting on his thigh too much.

“Sure,” Lauren said. “We’ll invite all our notorious friends and have a great time.”
If I’m not big as your house and ready to deliver your child
, Lauren thought on a sigh, wishing she had been able to squeeze in the test before agreeing to the trip.

“Your kitchen is very big,” Lauren said more easily, forcing a lightness into her tone. “I like your gourmet kitchen with all those vast expanses of granite.”

“If you decide to move in, we’ll add a small test kitchen off the garage,” Jim said.

“Just like that?” Lauren asked, surprised by his offer. “It’s not like I’m a professional perfumer. I’m more like an armchair organic chemist—very home grown. More like a hobby.”

“It would be no more trouble than adding an additional office for you anywhere, which is what it would be if you intend to work at home,” Jim said, smiling at her surprise.

“Why would you change your house for me?” Lauren asked.

“Because I’d like it to be your house as well?” Jim suggested, his questioning tone making Lauren’s eyes widen in realization.

“I’m going to need a little more time to get used to things—don’t hire an architect yet,” she told him, pleased to see him grinning.

“Speaking of spending money—just how wealthy are you anyway?” Lauren asked. “Not that I’m aspiring to be a gold-digger, but maybe I should have asked about your money before. My mother insinuated something, but I was too busy trying to get you into bed to pay attention.”