Dating for Demons
A Totally Bound Publication
Dating for Demons
ISBN #
978-1-78430-308-2
©Copyright Alexis Fleming 2014
Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright November 2014
Edited by Faith Bicknell-Brown
Totally Bound Publishing
This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Totally Bound Publishing.
Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Totally Bound Publishing. Unauthorized or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.
The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork.
Published in 2014 by Totally Bound Publishing,
Newland House, The Point, Weaver Road, Lincoln, LN6 3QN
Totally Bound Publishing is a subsidiary of Totally Entwined Group Limited.
Warning:
This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has a
heat rating
of
Totally Burning
and a
Sexometer
of
2.
Lucifer Inc!
DATING FOR DEMONS
Alexis Fleming
Book one in the Lucifer Inc! series
A date with a sexy incubus, horny little imps, kidnapping demons, and an aunt with all the power of the devil… Life is about to get interesting.
Araminta Tempest, Mina to her friends, isn’t normal by any stretch of the imagination. She’s one-eighth succubus demon and her Aunt Lucifer, supreme ruler of Hell, never lets her forget it. Accountant by trade, Mina normally does the books for Aunt Luce’s business, but this year Aunt Luce wants her to coach Jedd Madison, stud of the incubi stable and Mina’s nemesis from her teenage years, on dating techniques.
Mina smells a setup. Maybe it’s time to turn the tables on her nosy aunt from Hell.
Dedication
To my three mini men. You light up my life. You make me laugh. You give me a reason for being. I love you guys. I am so glad I have you in my life.
Chapter One
“Goddammit, Luce, get your arse up here now. This is
so
not right.” Araminta Tempest—Mina to her friends—gritted her teeth until her jaw ached. Ignoring the crinkle of paper, she curled her hands into fists and planted them on her hips. Even the prick of her long nails on her palms couldn’t distract her from the anger whipping through her blood. “You can’t do this to me.”
“Don’t you swear at me, girl. And
I
can do whatever I please and you can like it or lump it.”
The voice boomed throughout the small apartment that was Mina’s home. The cut crystal hanging from the chandelier in the hallway tinkled violently. The crockery in the kitchen cupboard rattled and a glass standing on the bench tilted and crashed into the sink.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Mina muttered, looking at the smashed glass.
A loud screech followed by what sounded like a sonic boom had Mina covering her ears. Smoke filled the little kitchen, making her cough as a flash of bright light delivered her aunt.
“How dare you use the G word. I’ve warned you before about swearing in my presence. Now, if you want to say damn-it-to-Hell, then I’m fine with that.”
Mina rolled her eyes. Her aunt was such a drama queen. Anything for an entrance.
Aunt Luce looked like everyone’s idea of the quintessential grandmother. Slightly short, slightly dumpy—er, cuddly, as her aunt would say—with snow-white hair set in rigid waves about her kindly face. Her fingers glittered with myriad rings and her hands were a gentle caress when needed. She belonged to the twin-set-and-pearls brigade, her makeup always perfectly applied, right down to the slash of red lipstick outlining her mouth. Ergo, the perfect grandmother, but then she ruined the image with her shoes.
Luce had a penchant for sexy high heels. The higher the better. Today’s offering was a deep red pair with multiple straps that encased her tiny feet and circled her ankles. Mina didn’t have to search far to work out where she’d gotten her love for sexy footwear.
Struggling to hang onto her temper, Mina smoothed out the crumpled piece of paper and waved it at Luce. “Want to tell me what the hell this memo is about?”
Aunt Luce shrugged. “I thought it was quite clear. It’s your job assignment for the next month.”
“You have
got
to be kidding me.” She looked at the note, although she didn’t really need to. She’d memorized every word since it had arrived in her inbox that morning.
Araminta Tempest, your assignment for the next month is to shadow one Jedd Madison. You will assess his performance, critique his methods, scrutinize his social skills and generally act as his dating coach.
She crumpled the sheet of paper up again and tossed it into the sink with the broken glass. “A
dating coach?
Are you crazy?”
A ball of brilliant light exploded. Smoke suddenly wafted through the room again, followed by the pungent odor of brimstone. Heat burned through Mina’s body. The skin on her arms tightened and nerve endings clamored with sensation, making Mina feel as if she were standing in the middle of a fire.
“All right already! Turn it off. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was standing in the fires of Hell.”
Her aunt waved her hand and the sensation, along with the smoke, disappeared. “You just remember who you’re talking to, my girl. Sometimes I think you forget who’s the boss. You’re lucky I pay any attention to you at all. Your blood is so diluted I could have just as easily forgotten you’re my brother’s son’s daughter’s daughter.”
I wish!
Knowing she had to keep the family peace, Mina decided to eat some humble pie. “I’m sorry, Aunt Luce. I really am. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Well, yeah, I did
.
She dragged in a deep sigh and tried again to get her point across—a little more rationally this time.
“I’m a taxation auditor. That’s what I do for a living. I know I owe you a month each year for the privilege of living in the human world, and I’m happy to pay it. I can come and do your books for you as I do every year. Why should this year be any different?”
“Because
I
decided you need to expand your horizons a little bit. You need to start learning more about the other areas of the family business, not just the figures and expenses.”
“Why now?”
Aunt Luce gave a thousand-kilowatt smile that could have melted ice. “Because I’ve made a decision. You’re going to follow in my footsteps. You’re my Heir Apparent, and as such, need to learn the business from the ground up.”
Mina groaned, loud and long. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I so do
not
want that. And as you’ve pointed out time and time again, I’m nearly all human. I only have a drop of demon blood. Choose someone else.”
“By my reckoning, you’re at least one-eighth succubus. As far as I’m concerned, that’s more than enough.” She patted her curls with a be-ringed hand. “Besides, there’s no one else.”
“What about cousin Neville, or Nigel, or whatever his name is?” Mina clasped her hands in front of her, not afraid to beg. “Please, Aunt Luce, find someone else. I… I’m not equipped for this. To be in charge of Hell? I can’t think of anything worse.”
Panic rose up and swamped Mina. Her gut cramped at the mere idea of heading up Hell. Her hands trembled and sweat slicked her forehead. She found herself panting and dizziness crept over her, the edges of her consciousness dimming.
“Enough, Araminta,” Aunt Luce snapped. “There’s no need for this carrying on.” Luce put her arm around Mina and patted her on the back. “Take a deep breath. Okay now? I don’t plan on shuffling off for a long time yet, but I just want to be prepared. And no way in hell will I hand over the reins to that conniving, arrogant Neville. That boy is just plain evil.”
Mina released a shaky breath, striving to get control of her nerves. Aunt Luce, being full demon, would probably go on for hundreds of years yet. This might never happen in her lifetime so nothing to worry about, right?
“So why can’t things go on as they were? I could come do your books and…”
Luce shook her head. “I really do want you to learn the business. And anyway, this job dovetails with your normal work, so it should be a cinch.”
“A dating coach? How on earth does that line up with being an auditor?”
“For the past couple of years, Jedd Madison has been falling short on his quotas. We need to find out why he’s not cutting it with the ladies any longer.”
“Jedd Madison, the heartthrob of women everywhere, whether in this world or the next? Jedd Madison, the arrogant arsehole who only needs to crook his little pinkie and women come out of the woodwork to satisfy his needs? You have
got
to be kidding me.” Mina shook her head. “Damn, I have to stop saying that, but Jedd Madison? Are you serious?”
Mina closed her eyes for a moment and a visual of Jedd appeared. Tall, dark and handsome fit him perfectly, and boy, did he know it. Yeah, the man oozed sex appeal and sure knew how to wield it… “But then he would know, wouldn’t he?”
“Mina, pay attention,” Aunt Luce snapped. “And what’s this about he—and I’m assuming you mean Jedd—knowing? Knowing what?” Aunt Luce shook her head. “Damn it, I’m starting to sound like you now.” She released an audible sigh. “Let’s start over so we can get this thrashed out. I need to get back to work.”
“Jedd Madison is an arrogant, know-it-all, pain-in-the-butt, but to my knowledge he’s never had a problem with dating before. His record with the ladies is… Well, all the other incubi brag about him and want to be just like him.”
“I know. That’s why we have to find out what’s going wrong now,” Luce said, striding around the small kitchen. “Look, I know you had some type of problem with him in the past, but you’re grown up now. Time to move on from whatever that was.”
Mina inwardly cringed. She’d been seventeen and just starting to get interested in guys. She’d met Jedd at a social gathering at her aunt’s and had developed a giant-sized crush on him. She’d followed him around for weeks after that, even going so far as inviting herself to vacation with her aunt, something she’d always hated.
Then had come that fateful night she’d tried to vamp him and Jedd had shot her down big time in front of his friends. She could still hear his voice.
“You? Why would I want a little girl like you when I could have a woman—a real woman—whenever I please? Run away and play with your dolly, little girl.”
She’d been mortified and had avoided Jedd Madison ever since, although that didn’t mean she hadn’t heard all about his exploits. But this? If Jedd wasn’t making his quotas that meant…
“How bad is it? If he’s not—”