Dawn of Forever (Jack & Jill #3) (22 page)

Knight

J
ackson finished drying
the last pan while watching Luke and Lake drive out of the development. The Days were no longer dead. Their past had caught up to them. Their past could put everyone involved in danger. It was time to go.

“I have to leave.” His eyes stayed focused on the slushy street. “I want you to come with me.”

“Sure. Where are we going?” Ryn took the pan from him, hanging it from the S-hook above the stove. “I hope to get a Christmas tree for this place. You could use some holiday cheer around here.”

Her comment, although oblivious to the true meaning behind his words, was just one more reason he had to take her with him. The last time Jackson lived in a home with a Christmas tree was his senior year of high school. The beginning of the end of his life as he knew it. He wanted a home, a wife, and a slew of holiday cheer. Jude wanted it too.

They could start over. He would run forever and take on a hundred new identities if they could be together. Jackson’s home would be his wife, and as long as they were together … he would always be home.

“We’ll take Gunner and Maddie too.”

She laughed, sliding her arms under his and hugging his back. “Gunner won’t love tree shopping and it’s too cold to leave him in the car. And Maddie? Pfft … feel free to call her, but I’m certain she will laugh in your face.”

He laced his hands with hers. “She can finish school someplace else.”

Ryn eased around his body to face him. Confusion lined her brow. “What are you talking about?”

“Marry me.”

“I feel like … we’ve had this conversation before.”

“We did. But most proposals mean ‘let’s be engaged and eventually get married.’ Like putting something on layaway. I don’t want to be engaged. I want to marry you—now.”

“Now?”

“Well, it’s Saturday. We’ll have to wait until Monday. Marry me Monday.”

Ryn squinted. “Are you pregnant?”

He smiled, just barely. She didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. How could she?

“If I say yes, will you make an honest man of me?”

“Maybe. Are you sure it’s mine?”

Threading his fingers through her hair, he bent down and whispered over her lips, “I’m sure
I’m
yours. Just … say yes.”

“Jackson—”

He kissed her. It was unfair. Sexual coercion.

“Say yes.” He bit her lip, dragging it through his teeth. If he had to strip her down and use his tongue to make her agree to his request, he’d do it. A yes was a yes. He’d take it and run—run with her and never look back.

Her eyes answered him first. He loved her eyes. They were innocent. In spite of the hell her body endured, her soul had the innocence of a child. Ryn spoke in kindness, loved with a bared heart, and lived with a spirit that not even Preston Iverson could break.

She nodded, pulling her lip from his grip.

She said yes
.

“I’ll marry you Monday.”

Step One: Confess the mercy killing first.

Done.

Step Two: Wait for Ryn to acclimate to Jackson’s ability to take another’s life.

Done.

Step Three: Make her fall so deep in love with him that not even the assassin confession could drive her away.

Pretty damn close.

Step Four: Be prepared to gently hold her in captivity until she snaps out of her inevitable conniption fit because realistically there is no way Step Three would ever fly.

Jackson felt anything was possible. Ryn surprised him,
amazed
him with her ability to see past the ugly parts. If he were honest, he needed that reflection he saw in her eyes. That man she saw, he liked him. He wanted to spend the rest of his life being him.

“You said yes.”

She shrugged. “I have a light schedule Monday.”

“Then we leave.”

“Honeymoon?”

Jackson shook his head.

“Now I’m confused again. What’s going on?”

“By the end of the day on Monday, I need you to have only the things from your house that you can’t live without. I’ll take care of Maddie.”

“What does that mean? You’ll take care of Maddie?”

“I assume she’s something or someone you can’t live without.”

She shook her head slowly. “You’re scaring me.”

“If you’re with me, you’ll never have any reason to be scared.”

Ryn took a step back. “And where exactly is
with
you?”

“I’m not sure yet, just not here.”

“This house?”

Jackson shook his head. “Nebraska.”

“So the moment I become Mrs. Jackson Knight, we’re leaving? And taking Maddie?”

“Yeah … about that.”

“About what?” Ryn’s eyes widened. They seemed to dare him to say another word. Her mind had to be at capacity with
everything
.

“You won’t be Mrs. Jackson Knight very long.”

Ryn took another step back, meeting the window with her back. “I think I rescind my yes then.”

“You can’t.”

“I just did.”

“Too bad. We’re still getting married Monday. You may not be Mrs. Jackson Knight very long, but you’ll always be my wife.”

“Oh my God. You’re running.”

“I like to think of it as relocating.”

“This is about AJ.”

“It’s not.”

“Then your past?”

“Yes.”

She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

Jackson agreed. She wasn’t, but he no longer had time on his side.

“Don’t hate me.” Ryn’s hands slid down her face, revealing the regret in her eyes. “I want you to be a piano teacher. I want you to be deathly boring, yet wildly sexy. I want to spend the rest of my life in this dream state, the one where I just can’t believe you love me. I’m forty and you make me feel twenty, or what I imagine twenty should have felt like.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “We don’t make sense, but I don’t want us to. I can’t think of one logical reason to marry you. That’s why I said yes. I want to love you with my heart, not my mind. But…” she shook her head “…you’re going to make me look back, and I’m afraid …”

He cupped her face, wiping his thumb along her cheek. “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid if my mind sees your past, my heart won’t remember how it felt about our future.”

“Ryn,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, but I have to tell you
everything
.”

*

The floor beneath
Ryn’s feet shook, like every bit of foothold she fought for in her life was about to vanish. She loved him and
that
was enough.

“Don’t tell me. I’ll go. Just … I’ll go.” She nodded like a bobble head.

“You’ll go.”

“Yes.” She stood tall, chin up, resolute.

“You’ll marry me Monday and leave here for
forever
, no questions asked?” The disbelief in his voice bathed her in guilt. When he said it like that it made her sound irresponsible—crazy.

“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “Now, I’d better get home and start packing.” Ryn brushed past him to get her things from the bedroom. Her hands shook. Her teeth chattered. Her heart thundered in her chest.

“I used to be Jude Day.” He stood in the doorway to the bedroom.

She fumbled around, shoving her things into a bag. “Jude Day. Jackson Knight. Cute.” Too bad she couldn’t speak without her voice shaking just as much as the rest of her body. The key was to not look at him.

“I’ve never lived in New York.”

Ryn fished her arm under the bed, searching for her sock. “Just as well. I hear it’s quite crowded.”

“I was a computer engineer in San Francisco.”

“A shame. You’re … you’re good at the piano.” Sucking in the biggest breath her lungs could take, she squeezed past him toward the front door.

Ten steps. That’s all she needed to reach her coat and boots.

“Gunner, come.”

Five steps.

Her knees wobbled.

Two steps.

“Jude Day killed twenty-three people.”

The floor disappeared, so did the final two feet to her destination. She slammed into an invisible wall, hugging her bag as she collapsed to her knees.

“No!” she cried.

Just. Like. That. He blew up her world.

*

Step Four: Be
prepared to gently hold her in captivity until she snaps out of her inevitable conniption fit because realistically there is no way Step Three would ever fly.

Jackson balled his hands, the hands that wanted to hold her. Instead, he watched her sob, folded over on the floor. Gunner lay down next to her, resting his head next to hers.

“I was trained to defend—trained to kill. The people I killed had more blood on their hands than I did. I killed to save lives. I was a soldier in an unofficial army, and I was good at it. That was my life. I hated my mother. She cheated on my father. I hated my father for being so blind. I hated my sister just … just because I couldn’t tell her, and I
needed
to tell someone. Instead, I lived a very lonely life filled with random women, secret missions, and a family that lived a lie.”

“Stop …” Ryn continued to sob.

He hunched down beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“No! Stop!” She fought him.

He fell back against the wall, pinning her arms to her sides and her legs beneath his. Then he waited.

“Our parents were murdered, so we were in danger. There are two headstones with our names on them. We were supposed to be safe … miles away from our past with no one having any reason to look for us.”

At some point the body encased by his gave up its fight. He still held her tight, more for him than her.

“But our past found us. Luke and Lake came to find my sister—
Jessica
Day.”

Her body tensed again. Lake shared her brother’s fiancée’s first name, but not her last.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, slowly lifting her head.

He loosened his grip a fraction and released her legs from beneath his, allowing her to turn in his arms and face him.

“Jillian was going to marry Luke.”

“No. Jessica.”

“Same—”

Jackson shook his head. “Not the same person. Jessica loved Luke. Jillian loved AJ.”

“Who did Jude love?”

He paused before answering. “His sister.”

“And now?” Ryn sniffled.

“He doesn’t exist.”

“He existed the moment you told me his name.”

“He died.” His jaw clenched a little in spite of his effort to stay calm.

“I’m looking at him.”

He released her and stood. Taking a deep breath, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Believe me when I say Jude Day would not hold you in his arms or give a fuck about your feelings. What happened against your refrigerator would have happened in the bathroom of a bar and then it never would have happened again.”

She flinched.

He sighed, releasing enough anger to feel some regret. “I’m sorry. I love you. Jackson loves you.”

Ryn grabbed her bag and stood, Gunner heeled. “Well, I love Jude.”

“Don’t say that.” His voice hardened.

“It’s true.”

Jackson shook his head. “Why would you love someone you’ve never known?”

“Because he died so I could be with you.”

“Dying was the best thing that happened to him. He lived a miserable life.”

“I’m sorry.”

“The only thing I’m sorry about is what I have to go through to keep him in the grave. I don’t want that life back, but Luke and Lake showing up here … they’re trying to resurrect the dead.”

Ryn rubbed her temples.

“Headache?”

She nodded.

“Is forever too much to ask?”

Ryn chuckled in spite of the pain etched on her face. “For me? Of course not. But I think what you were trying to tell me earlier is that Maddie would have to come too, right?”

“No. She could stay as long as you don’t tell her anything, but …”

“But?”

On a slow blink he looked down. He didn’t want to see the expression on her face when she figured out what he meant.

“When Jillian and I left San Francisco, we knew we would never return, never see anyone from our previous life again.”

“Jackson, I can’t
never
see my daughter again.”

He nodded, still looking at his feet. “I know. That’s why there are only two options.”