Dead If I Do

Dead If I Do

Tate Hallaway

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Acknowledgements

First Aspect: Conjunction

Second Aspect: Trine

Third Aspect: Square

Fourth Aspect: Opposition

Fifth Aspect: Semiquintile

Sixth Aspect: Inconjunct

Seventh Aspect: Sextile

Eighth Aspect: Sesqui-Square

Ninth Aspect: Occultation

Tenth Aspect: Semi-Square

Eleventh Aspect: Sesqui-Quadrate

Praise for the novels of Tate Hallaway

Romancing the Dead

“A fun book with a nice whodunit, great characters, and the kind of detail that really brings a setting alive . . . a wonderfully fun read.”

—Errant Dreams Reviews

“Ms. Hallaway provides another exciting adventure in her unique series.”

—
Darque Reviews

“This superb tale affirms the theory that ‘life’s a witch’ worth reading about.”

—
Genre Go Round Reviews

“Lots of danger and comedy set within an extremely well written plot.”

—
Huntress Book Reviews

“Fans of the Garnet Lacey series will certainly not be disappointed, and those new to this piece of paranormal escapism I’m sure will soon be fans as well.”

—
Romance Reviews Today

“One of the real pleasures of this series has been watching this spunky heroine come into her own . . . This is a genuinely funny, adventurous, and delightful read.”

—
Romantic Times

“Lots of excitement and mystery to keep you guessing throughout. It’s a fun reading treat.”

—
Fresh Fiction

“A truly enjoyable read if you like a jaunt into the paranormal . . . and enjoy humor as well as the more serious side of life!”

—WritersAreReaders.com

Dead Sexy

“Another wild adventure . . . Check out the highly entertaining
Dead Sexy
for a walk on the wild side.”

—
Romance Reviews Today

“The second Garnet gem is a delightful whodunit fantasy [with an] offbeat chick -lit style. Tate Hallaway combines romance, paranormal, and mystery into a fun read.”

—
Midwest Book Review

Tall, Dark & Dead

“What’s not to adore . . . Tate Hallaway has a wonderful gift, Garnet is a gem of a heroine, and
Tall, Dark & Dead
is enthralling from the first page.”

—MaryJanice Davidson,
New York Times
bestselling author of
Undead and Unworthy

“Tate Hallaway kept me on the edge of my seat . . . A thoroughly enjoyable read!”

—Julie Kenner,
USA Today
bestselling author of
Deja Demon

“Curl up on the couch and settle in—
Tall, Dark & Dead
is a great way to pass an evening.”

—Lynsay Sands,
USA Today
bestselling author of
The Rogue Hunter

“Will appeal to readers of Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stack-house series.”

—
Booklist

“Unique, intriguing, and a sexy read . . . lively and fresh . . . and the ending will leave you clamoring for more.”

—
Midwest Muse

“Funny and captivating . . . in the style of the Sookie Stack-house series [with] an intrepid and expressive heroine . . . Look out, fans of the paranormal, there’s a new supernatural heroine in town . . . Tate Hallaway is an author to watch!”

—
Romance Reviews Today

“I love how Garnet handled everything that came her way with grit, humor, and attitude as she kicked some serious butt! . . . Hallaway keeps you glued to the pages.”

—
Romance Junkies

“[Hallaway’s] concise writing style, vivid descriptions, and innovative plot all blend together to provide the reader with a great new look into the love life of witches, vampires, and the undead.”

—
Armchair Interviews

Titles by Tate Hallaway

ROMANCING THE DEAD

TALL, DARK & DEAD

For Shawn

Acknowledgments

It would be easy to forget, after so many under my belt, the people who make each book possible. Thanks must go to my editor, Anne Sowards, and her loyal assistant, Cameron Dufty. Also much, much continued gratitude to my tireless agent, Martha Millard, without whom none of this would be possible.

My writers’ group, Wyrdsmiths, deserves praise (and credit for all the truly clever bits): Eleanor Arnason, Bill Henry, Doug Hulick, Naomi Kritzer, Kelly McCullough, and Sean M. Murphy. Extra special thanks goes to Naomi, Sean, and my partner, Shawn Rounds, for reading the first draft at the midnight hour and making this book that much better. Also in need of a shout-out are the very fine folks at Amoré Coffee who keep me caffeinated and in quiz questions: Cathy, Paul, Cole, Glen, Zollie, Michele, and the rest!

First Aspect: Conjunction

KEY WORDS:
Coming Together, Beginnings

Introducing your fiancé to your parents for the first
time is always tough, but when you add that he’s a vampire . . . ?

Plus, add into that awkwardness that my parents and I have been benignly estranged since I turned eighteen, and I haven ’t shared as much as a postcard in all that time, well . . .

Let’s just say: oy.

The four of us sat in a darkened booth at Porta Bella ’s, a place voted by the local newspaper as one of the best romantic restaurants in Madison, Wisconsin. Sebastian and I occupied one of the tiny, pewlike wooden benches and my folks the other. Darkly colored tapestries hung on the walls. A candle flickered in a cut -glass container at the center of the wooden table. Pine garlands accented with glass icicles draped the wood beams of the ceiling.

The atmosphere at our table was as chilly as it was outside. Though the waitress had brought crusty bread and garlic-flavored oil, it remained untouched. We all hid our faces behind the red leather menus. Occasionally, my mother would peep out from behind hers to stare at the garlic and glance at Sebastian like she expected him to burst into flames. Honestly, I hadn’t meant for everything to come spilling out like that during the introductions. All last night I’d thought about clever ways to naturally insinuate the topic of my lover ’s vampirism into everyday discussions about the price of chicken feed and egg production, but instead, just as soon as we met at the restaurant, I ’d blurted, “This is Sebastian Von Traum, my fiancé. He’s a vampire.”

My mother had simply said, “Isn’t that interesting,” in that Minnesotan way that implied I’d made a major faux pas. I blame the state’s Norwegian heritage that Minnesotans tend to be so polite that they won’t say what they mean. Even so, silence had followed. No one had spoken a word for the last ten minutes and counting.

“So . . .” I started, but no one looked up from their menus.

I sighed and searched my parents for a safe avenue to start a discussion—any discussion—about. My folks are farmers, but they’re also pot-smoking hippies. Even though it had gone gray and thin, my dad still wore his hair long and straight; it hung in a tight braid down to the small of his back. A ball cap advertising some organic seed company kept his bangs from falling in his sunbrightened and weathered face. His plain cotton shirt revealed forearms that might have belonged to a younger man but for the dusting of fine white hairs. Where a watch usually would be he wore several woven friendship bracelets. Mom wore a hand-dyed dress and a necklace she made herself with leather strips and beads imported from Africa. Her hair was cut short and utilitarian, but her shoes were Italian leather. She sported almost no makeup, just a little light brown mascara that highlighted pale blue eyes—the color mine used to be before the dark Goddess Lilith possessed me . . . another something I hadn’t quite gotten around to talking to my folks about.

Though she hadn’t said anything about my eyes, my mother
had
noticed my hair. She’d fussed and clucked about the pixie cut when I’d met them at their hotel last night. Finally she’d shaken her head and said, “The black dye just makes you look so severe, dear.” Dad pointed out he’d hardly recognized me, and he’d thought I was “some hooligan coming to cause mischief.” I probably should have told them I was intentionally in disguise, what with the Vatican witch hunters potentially still out there trying to kill me, but instead, all my teenage rebellion came flowing back, and I’d basically told them all the cool kids were doing it. You can imagine the conversation that followed.

I had really hoped today would be different.

“How about them Packers?” I ventured, trying to make a joke. To ask about the local football team, in this case, the Green Bay Packers, was a well-seasoned conversation gambit, on a par with “How’s it going?” and “What’s up?” I knew my folks weren’t into sports, but they should get the funny and acknowledge my attempt to get conversation rolling again. But my dad just grunted, and my mother rolled her eyes. Sebastian, at least, gave me a little smile. See, now, we could talk about how awesome Sebastian was, if my folks weren’t all hung up on the vampire thing. I mean, what parents in their right minds wouldn ’t want their only daughter married to a man this well-heeled and nicely put together? Sebastian’s shoulder-length black hair was pinned back at the nape of his neck. He was perfectly clean-shaven, which was actually kind of unusual for him, but he’d gone all out for tonight. You’d think he’d be every parent’s dream in his gray silk shirt and black dress pants.

I should never have mentioned the vampirism.

Sebastian, I could tell, brooded a bit. Because he could walk around in the daylight, Sebastian completely passed as human. He hated it when I felt the urge to out his supernatural origins. In fact, we hadn’t actually gotten around to agreeing that we
would
tell my folks. He’d said he thought the whole thing was on a need-to-know basis and, frankly, it was no one’s business but our own.

Right now I could totally see his point.

“The linguine’s good,” I offered into the stillness.

Without looking over the menu, Sebastian added, “Yes, I recommend any of their pastas. They make them fresh on the premises.”