Dead Man Running (5 page)

"
Word.
"

"
What else
?
  What's the major stuff, not the kiss, eat and greet shit.
"

"Hmmm…t
he biggies are the World Affairs Club address on Wednesday and the debate with Madame Capshaw on Thursday.
"

"
Okay, everything else, we cancel.  We need to lay him low till the election.
"

"
E, what about his church?  He never misses a service before an election.  What are the deacons going to say?
"

"
You mean, what are they going to say when we put a dead man in the pulpit?
"

"
Right.  It
'
s not quite the resurrection they've been waiting on.  But still, it'd raise some eyebrows if he's not there.
"

Elias considered the problem for a moment.  "
Oh, he'll be there.  I'll get to the deacons ahead of time.  I'll tell the deacons that Reverend Wiley would prefer one of them to lead the service.  I'll say he's exhausted from the campaign.
"

"
They'll probably have a knife fight trying to sort out who'll say the sermon.
"

"
They'll be so busy basking in their own glory they won't notice they have a dead man there.  Okay, that takes care of his schedule, can you think of anything else?
"

"
Yeah, don't you think Mrs. Wiley will figure this out?  I mean, she's got to sleep with the man.
"

"
The good
r
everend hasn't slept with her since her stuff started bagging and sagging.  He wouldn't know the way to her room if you gave him a freaking map, man.  No, we'll deposit him in his room every night
and
pick him up in the morning.  No sweat.
"

"
She won't notice a dead man in her house for
nine
days?
"

"
Bro, the light's been out in that attic for many a year.
"

"
Oh.
"

In the near
ly
professional kitchen
Jan and Mrs. Wiley st
oo
d around the massive center
aisle
.  Mrs. Wiley wield
ed
a huge carving knife
to s
lice into the roast beef.

"
I always have to cut this very thin.  My Ben loves his meat sliced thin.
"

Jan, unsettled by the woman's lack of reaction to her zombie husband, nodded dumbly.  "U
h huh
," she uttered finally.

Mrs. Wiley continued her careful slicing of the beef.  "
So, tell me dear, what are you doing in my house?
"

Jan,
taken aback by the question
, struggled to respond.  "
Well, Mrs. Wiley, I'm here to assist your husband.
"

Mrs. Wiley cut a paper thin slice with the sharp blade.  "
You
were to never come to my home."

Mrs. Wiley pause
d
with he
r
knife.  She set it on the table and walk
ed
over to the French doors leading to the rest of the house.  She close
d
them.  As she turn
ed
to face Jan, a sinister smile crosse
d
her face.

"Care to explain what a
dead man
is
doing in my
study
?
"

"
Dead man?
"

"My husband.  Y
ou know, tall, black, bugged out eyes.  Cold hands, bad smell.  Th
at
dead man
, woman
.
"

"
Mrs. Wiley, I...
"

"
You what?  Listen, when I hired you, I paid you to screw him then kill him.  Did I stutter?  Did you miss somethi
ng?  Screw, kill.  Screw, kill."

Jan lost her look of innocence. 
"
Somebody beat me to it,
and then
those two jerks got som
eone to bring him back to life."

"Who?"

"Some old
Arab
dude
named
Hamid
."

Mrs. Wiley marched around the center
aisle
and stood inches from Jan's face. 
"
I don't know what you have going on with those two chuckleheads in my
stud
y, but I'm telling you, I'm not going to have it.  You need to fix this shit.
"

"
I can fix it, Mrs. Wiley.
"

"
How, you going to kill him again?!
"

Jan pause
d
to compose herself.  The old lady's attack ha
d
knocked her off balance.

"
Mrs. Wiley, we still have a deal.  I kill your husband, you take his seat in Congress and I get paid.  You wouldn't have hired me if I couldn't do the job.
"

"
I hired you
'
cause someone told me you had the most dangerous pussy in the country.
" 
Mrs. Wiley place
d
her hands on her hips and rotate
d her midsection.  "
All men have to do is look at it and they drop dead.  To me, it sure don't look like you're off to a great start, g
a
l.
"

"
It's not how you start,
it
'
s
how you finish
," Jan replied, the
hood rat
steel
returning to her voice.  "And I plan to re-dead you
r
husband with the quickness."

The reverend's wife walked back to the center
aisle
. 
"You do that.  That way I don't have to hire another someone to kill you both," said Mrs. Wiley. 
Sh
e picked up the knife and again sliced purposefully into the beef.

As Mrs. Wiley completed the sandwiches Jan could no longer suppress her curiosity.

"Why aren't you surprised that your husband is a zombie?"

Eloise Wiley shrugged.  "I guess that after thirty years as the wife of a pastor and politician, nothing surprises me."

Elias and Chi continued their discussion in the study.

"
After he wins, we kill him
," Elias said.

"
Ain't he dead enough
, boss
?
"

"
He'll be dead and gone.
"

Chi nodded.  "
Gotcha.  Swimming with the fishes.  Pushing up daisies.  Dancing with the fairies by the moonlight.
" 
Chi twirl
ed
his hands over his head in a circular motion.

Elias shook his head.  "
You're starting to worry me, Chi.  Anyway, he goes and we take over his seat.  W
h
ip, w
h
op, wham.
"

"
You know, I think I heard that somewhere before.
"

It
wa
s barely sunrise.  Elias, Chi and Jan enter
ed
Wiley's bedroom.  Wiley
ha
d
remain
ed
in the position they placed him the previous night, standing up and facing the corner.

"
We have to get him dressed.  Chi, look in his closet for a nice su
it.  Jan, you get him undressed," Elias said.

Chi head
ed
into Wiley's huge walk-in closet.

"
Me?
" Jan asked.

"
You're his e
xecutive assistant, do your job," said Elias.

"
I don't believe this.
"

"
Just do it.  It's not like that's the first Johnson you've ever seen.  Quiet chick like you probably giving
brothers
more head than
the ugly
Kardashian
.
"

"
Just one request
,
"
said Jan.

"
What?
"

"
Leave us alone.  If I have to do this, I don't want you watching.
"

"
Cool, we'll be in the car.
"

Chi emerge
d
from the closet with a suit, tie, shirt and shoes.

"
Drop em Chi, the lady wants to be alone with her man.
" 
Chi drop
ped
the items on the floor.

"
We outta here
," Elias said, motioning his underling to follow him out
of
the room.

After
Elias and Chi le
ft
the room
, Jan carefully
approache
d
Wiley. 
A hesitant hand reache
d
out, finally tak
ing
in Wiley's large, cold hand. 
She
look
ed
up at him but his face
wa
s turned away.  She gently
caresse
d
his hand. 

After a few moments
Wiley turn
ed
his head
, his cloudy eyes
look
ing
at her.

"
See what happens when you fool around on your girl?  Got yourself dead, didn't you.  But as usual, Jan gonna take care of her man.
" 

After a few minutes of her attention, a bleak smile slowly
crept
across Wiley's face.

And there it remained as Jan removed
the dead man's
clothes.

T
he
Plaza's
ballroom
wa
s packed
with celebrants
.  A huge sign welcome
d
New York
City
's 20
1
0
political c
andidates.  The masses, including Chi and Jan, s
a
t at
numerous
circular banquet tables.  The main tables, at the front of the hall, contain
ed
all the
New York
City
political heavyweights.  Wiley
wa
s seated at the very end of the table.  Elias hover
ed
protectively close by.

Mayor O'Donnell rose
to address the audience
, glad handing his way to the podium
. 
Once there, t
he old time Irish pol
itico
lift
ed
his arms to get some quiet.

"
Welcome to the 20
1
0
Candidates Prayer Breakfast.
"

The audience
clapped, stomped and cheered.

O'Donnell waited for the noise to subside before beginning his remarks.  "
As you know, this is a non partisan, non denominational event simply asking for God
's
speed for all the men and women brave enough to seek office in
New York City
.
"

A sizable chunk of the audience laughed
.

"
Now I would like to ask Reverend Ben Wiley, one of our own, to say the blessing over the food.
"

The audience
clapped as
Elias nervously shout
ed
to the Mayor.
  "
Your honor, Reverend Wiley is a little h
oarse
!
"

"
All c'mon.  We'll get them to turn the mike way up!
"  The
red faced
Mayor
– three shots of gin ahead of everyone else in the room -
turned
to the audience.
  "
Let's get Ben up here!
'