Deadly Valentine (30 page)

But no! It just didn't fit with what she knew about him. Or maybe it was vanity that made her want his attraction to her to be real. Or her heart needing his words to be sincere.

Ultimately it didn't matter. There was only one thing she could do.

~~~~

Tess opened the door to her home longing for the sanctuary it provided. It may not have the décor or doo-dads Daniel and Jack felt it needed, but it was her home. Her place of refuge. And today she needed that more than anything.

She'd barely had time to hang her coat when the comfort of her sanctuary was disrupted by a knock on the door. She knew who it was and considered pretending not to be home. But with her car in the drive, she knew Jack wouldn't buy her ruse. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to face her fears.

"Hey gorgeous!" He smiled the winning smile, dimple and all.

She managed a hello as she let him in. She'd just gotten the door closed when she found herself pressed against it, Jack's lips so thorough on hers, she almost forgot the horrible day she'd had. Almost, but not quite.

"I was going to suggest dinner," he said his teeth giving a gentle tug on her earlobe. "But maybe we could skip it and go straight to dessert."

Too good to be true. Too good to be true
. She chanted in her head. It was enough to give her the strength to pull away. "Tempting. But we have some things to talk about."

"Alright." He looked at her with curiosity.

Because being near him always muddled her mind, she put distance between them by walking to the kitchen. "You want some wine?" she called over her shoulder.

"Sure."

In the kitchen she pulled a chilled bottle of white wine from the refrigerator wishing it was something stronger. She now understood the Senator's need for liquid courage as she poured herself half a glass and swallowed it in a single gulp.

"Bad day at the office?" Jack stood in the doorway. He looked relaxed and a little amused. She knew that was about to change.

Tess poured a glass for Jack and refilled her glass. She handed him his wine then moved away, hoping he would stay put. Not wanting to delay the inevitable, she jumped right in. "I can't continue to represent you."

He studied her a moment. "Okay."

"Don't you want to know why?"

He shrugged. "I figure it's about separating business and pleasure. I know it's been bothering you to muddy the waters, so to speak. I'm just glad you chose pleasure." With a waggle of his brows he moved towards her. Tess wished she'd installed an island in her kitchen when the contractor had suggested it. It would have made a nice barrier from Jack's advances. Instead she stepped back. This time his quizzical expression showed concern. "What's wrong?"

"The police are looking for Derek Martin."

"Derek? Why?"

"A car matching Derek's was seen around Tom and Helen's house the night Tom-"

"You've got to be kidding me?" he interrupted. "They think Derek is involved? Dan really has some nerve."

"The police. Not Daniel."

"You're going to defend him now? After what he did?" The amused and relaxed look on Jack's face was completely gone, replaced with annoyance.

"I'm not defending him. I'm telling you it’s the police. They say they found Derek's car with computer pieces and a gas can." Tess kept her tone level.

"You told them this was crazy didn't you?"

"What did you ask Derek to take care of in Jefferson Tavern the other day?"

In flash his eyes were dark, his knuckles whitened around the wine glass.  For a moment Tess thought he might throw the glass. Maybe even at her. Instead he whirled away from her. He set his glass on the dining table and turned back to her.

"You think I asked Derek to attack Tom?" he said with forced control.

"I don't-"

"Which means you also think I killed Asa."

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"The hell it doesn’t!" His words lashed out at her.

"This is exactly why we shouldn't have gotten involved."

Jack moved so quickly Tess didn't have time to move out of his reach. He grabbed her arms and gave her a quick jerk. His eyes pierced hers with anger and pain. “Dammit, tell me you don’t think I killed Asa.”

She wasn't afraid of him, even though she could feel the fury emanating from him. What made her jerk out of his grip was her slipping resolve. She'd completed two out of the three tasks she needed to complete to get her life back on track, but he was close, touching her, and her yearning for him threatened to undo everything.

She pulled away trying to regain control of her emotions. He let her go, but his cold eyes brutalized her. "Tell me!"

She didn’t respond. She hadn't planned to have him think that she thought he was guilty. In one way, it was an unexpected benefit as it would make breaking things with him easier.  She didn’t trust herself to follow through, but if he was angry enough, felt betrayed he enough, he'd leave on his own.

"Are you angry because you think I killed Asa or because you let yourself fall in love with me?”

"I'm not in love with you. And this is business, Jack, as it should have been from the beginning.” God. She couldn't believe she could say such things. The way he looked at her made her want to crawl under a rock.

“So that's been your plan since I got here tonight? Not just to fire me as your client, but as your lover too? Or why don’t you tell me what’s really going on here, Tess.”

She hated to see the pain in his eyes, to know that she was the cause of it. She understood now why men didn’t like it when women cried. It was easier to deal with anger than hurt. Causing someone intense pain like she saw in Jack's eyes made her feel like the lowest form of life. He deserved better. She always knew he did and she decided to remind him of it.

“I didn’t want this. I told you I didn’t, but you pushed and pushed and now it has to end. I was trying to avoid this-”

“That’s bull,” he spat. He attempted to rein in his rage with a deep breath. “You're a coward. This is about you and your fear of being hurt. Well congratulations Tess, you win. I won’t hurt you because you’ve beat me to the punch." He was right of course.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry you're a coward? Sorry you slept with a murder suspect? What is it Tess?"

"I just can't do it again," she blurted with frustration. "I won't do it again." She was nearly on her knees begging him to forgive her. It was all she could do to remember that her future depended on following through with her plan. "I've already lost everything and had to start over because of a man. I'm not going to do it again."

"What are you talking about?" He looked at her as if she was a little crazy. She wondered if maybe he was right.

"I've lost my friends and most of my clients."

"Because of me?"

"Yes."

"You're friends and clients are idiots. And so are you for letting them dictate your life."

He was right. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to mend her friendship with Daniel and Helen. But she knew she didn't want to start her career over again. She'd take her idiot clients back if it meant returning to the quiet life she had before Jack re-entered it.

He waited a beat as if he were hoping she'd take it all back. When she didn't say anything he pointed his dark eyes and a finger at her. "You better keep Danny boy away from Derek. Now that I'm gone, I'm sure you two will go back to whatever it was you had."

He was finally going to leave, she thought. The misery of it was like a lead weight in her heart.

"You'll regret this Tess. I promise you."

She flinched at the deadly tone of his promise and it served to anger him more. He spoke quietly, but there was no mistaking the contempt in his voice. "I won't hurt you, Tess. I won't have to. Someday, when you're looking back on your precious, cold, loveless life, you'll look to this day, this moment, and regret it."

She already did. Her heart screamed at her to take back her words. To tell him she believed him and to hell with her friends and clients. But her head told her how close she was to restoring the peace and balance in her life. The tug of war raged inside her, neither side able to overpower the other. So she stood, watching him, waiting.

With one last withering look, Jack stormed away. The slam of the door made her jump, expending the last of her strength. Her knees gave way. She sank to floor and wept.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Jack sat in his dark living room mindlessly staring out the sliding glass doors that overlooked the Potomac River towards the Lincoln Center. The moon was high and bright, casting a bluish glow over the room. It might have been romantic in another situation. Tonight it was depressing.

He took a drink from the bottle of Glenfiddich, feeling the burn of the potent liquid as it went down. But it failed to extinguish the pain or the fury. The pain he was used to. Having lost his dad when he was twelve and later watching his mother wither and die from cancer, he'd learned about pain and how to live with it. But the fury, this was different. Even with Cora's lie, there was an anger and disappointment, but not this violent rage brewing, bubbling.

A rational mind might think Cora's lie was equally bad, maybe even worse than Tess' cowardly rejection of him. But that's not how he felt. All he could see was Tess' cool demeanor as she told him he was worth less than fair-weathered friends and clients. He'd never done anything to hurt her, to betray her. Meanwhile Daniel and his family cast her out, ignored her, and even accused her of covering up a murder. They'd rejected her and her response was to break it off with him. What a fool he'd been to think he could win over her reluctance. To think that she would love him as he loved her.

"You just gonna sit there in the dark?" Cora said as she puttered into the room and sat on the chair adjacent to him.

He responded by taking another drink.

"Did she dump you?"

"I’m not in the mood, Cora."

"I told you this would happen. I told you she'd break your heart."

"YOU!" he pointed his scotch bottle at her. The amber liquid sloshed inside. "You broke my heart."

Cora flinched, settled back in her seat. He looked away, not wanting to add guilt to his already volatile emotions. "That was different. I was protecting you."

He was about to tell her that at least Tess hadn't lied to him, but caught himself. He didn't want to defend her.

"Look what they did to Delia. My God, even Asa is dead. If Asa could be murdered in his own home full of people, imagine what could happen to you?"

"If the murderer wanted me dead, then why hasn't he tried to kill me?" It was a thought that had been rambling around his head for some time. Asa was dead. There had been an attempt on Tess' life and then Tom and Helen were attacked and their home set on fire. But nothing had happened to him. Or Cora. If the motivation behind the murder was Delia, then shouldn't he and Cora be in danger? "This whole thing may have nothing to do with me and your lies."

"Stupid woman. I hate her for bringing all this-"

"STOP!"

Cora's mouth snapped shut while her eyes widened. He wondered if she was afraid of him.

"You did the lying. It's worse knowing you were never going to tell me."

"I did it to protect you. Didn't you have a good life? I couldn't have picked better people to be your parents. Look at you! You're successful and rich. There are thousands of women who'd appreciate you."

"Cora, I'm not interested in discussing this with you."

They sat in silence. He could feel her studying him, trying to figure out how to reach him. But he didn't want to be reached.

"You must really be in love with her," she finally said.

"You think?" he mocked.

"If that's the case, why are you here drowning yourself in liquor? Why aren't you convincing her to keep you?"

He knew he could. Several times on the trip back to Washington he'd turned around, headed back to change Tess' mind. He knew if he pressed a little, she'd give in. But for how long? When would the next crisis send her back to Daniel? "You don't even like her."

"No. But I love you more than I hate her. And I'm worried about what I see now. It's just like when Lillian died. The drinking, the darkness around you. I don't want to see you fall like that again, not when you've just got yourself together. I want you to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted. So get off your tookus and go to her."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I’m not interested in having to convince her to be with me or battle for position whenever she gets nervous." God how that irked him. To be at the bottom of the list. Hell he'd been cast off the list. He now understood why Tess had been so reluctant to let him into her life in the first place. Heartbreak was a bitch. He wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. Once he recovered, he wasn't sure he'd want to risk his heart again either.

"Well maybe she'll come around."

"Doesn't matter." He said as he stood. He wobbled, but pushed Cora away when she tried to help him.

"It does matter. You should sober up. Clean up. She could be on her way here now."

He got his feet under him, and shook his head to rid it of thoughts of Tess. He'd wasted over three years pining for her. For what? No, he'd had enough. "If she shows up tell her I'm not here. I'm done with Tess Madison."

~~~~

Tess thought she'd known what it was like to have a broken heart. When she'd found Brad cheating on her, she'd been completely poleaxed. She'd never expected to be the type of woman a man would cheat on. Or that she'd fall for a man who preferred other men, for that matter. Not that she was perfect or naïve. Despite her upbringing that included a father with a long-time mistress, she'd come to believe in true love and that she'd had it with Brad. She'd discovered otherwise and the pain and humiliation of it changed her.

But that was nothing compared to the anguish that had her buried under a blanket on her couch. She would have never guessed that emotional pain could be accompanied with physical pain. It was as if her heart was in a vise, squeezing tighter and tighter until she couldn't breathe. The worst part was, she was the one that had tightened the screws.