Dear Adam (6 page)

She was still wary when he e-mailed her very
early the following morning. She took her time replying.

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 3:15 AM

To: Eden E

Good morning my dear, 12:15 here. Not at
all. I am not the inconsiderate kind.

What is this business of kicking and
punching about?

I'm heading out to meet the building manager
about the library.

Though it was endearing that you weren't
“sending me to bed”, that still warrants me calling you mother.

Burn me with your questions then.

Until soon,

Adam

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:02 AM

To: Adam -

Good morning/afternoon!

Do you ever wake up wanting to devour
everything in sight? Life included? That's what I felt like this
morning and then I saw an e-mail from you. So I'm sitting with a
big plate of 2 eggs, sausages, hash browns and toast. Americans at
least know the meaning of a proper breakfast, grant us that.

Ready for a barrage? You’ve provoked my
curiosity:

Why is it that retired men tell you that
they’re thankful not to have lived your life?

You sound soul-weary at times, as though
you’ve lived much at such a young age.

You also sound as if you wish you were
living in a different time – do you not feel as if you belong in
this era? If not, in which age would you rather live?

You say that you’re not the same as when you
were younger. What were you like then and how is it different from
the way you are now?

What is the darkness in you?

What’s your favorite scent?

To start off with -

Eden

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:16 AM

To: Eden E

Good afternoon you,

It's funny, when your message came through
then, it showed a preview on my iPad saying; "Do you ever wake up
wanting ..." I thought, what can the end of that sentence be?
Ha

You certainly know the meaning of a
cardiac-inducing breakfast. The English are quite good at that too,
though there are always some baked beans as well.

I am not very good in the mornings,
ever.

Don't devour me, mother!

Ready.

Retired/old men (a few, not a lot), have
made that comment when they have learned about my life, and what I
have experienced, and what I have been through to arrive where I am
today.

Yes, I've lived a lot at my age, at anyone's
age.

In some ways I don't feel truly as if I
belong in this era. However, I take issue with some of the accepted
norms of the past. Like in the 1950s, which would have suited me
well, there were great social issues that would disturb me,
frankly. It's a tough nut to crack. I think we have to accept the
era we exist in, draw from the past, and selectively participate in
the present.

When I was younger, I had to survive. I was
"invited" to leave home at 15 and fend for myself. Sometimes you
have to bend the rules to have any modicum of comfort and normality
when you are in such a situation. Also, I was an asshole,
self-indulgent, with an attitude, especially when I started to
acquire the money and the spoils, that I was somehow entitled to
the world, and everything in it, and my attitude was, fuck everyone
else. But I grew up, and my wisdom evolved.

Now, I am more patient, reserved,
considerate, wise, aware, less selfish, and I have a better
understanding of people and society.

The darkness in me. Well, for example, if
you were my wife, and somebody harmed you, I would harm said person
equally, if not more. In fact, a great deal more, and the ways and
means I have in order to do so are perhaps somewhat more
resourceful than your average Joe. I have a huge patience
threshold, but when it runs out, well, it's not a sight to behold.
Not that I am a violent man or anything of that nature.

My favourite smell, other than a woman's
when she wants me (either you're getting to grips with my dry
humour, or now you think I'm perverted), is old books, the musty
smell of a house left unlived in for a few years, coffee in the
morning, petrol.

Keep going, Edie, your questions don't daunt
me.

A

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:28 AM

To: Adam -

Tell me about your day so far. I imagine you
waking up a monster until you've gotten your first sip of coffee or
whiff of petrol(???). Then what happened?

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:35 AM

To: Eden E

You have no comment on my answers?

My day so far. I'm not much of a monster,
just quiet until I get a few doses of caffeine and nicotine. I woke
up, pleasured myself, had coffee and smoke, read some news on my
iPad. Took a shower. Drove to meet the builders. Had a meeting
regarding the library.

Then went to lunch with Luca, my friend,
colleague, and occasional driver. Lunch was a panino with salami,
cheese and rocket, with a side salad (rabbit food), and some
rosemary and garlic potatoes, washed down with an espresso
ristretto and amaro montenegro (an alcoholic drink made from 40
herbs), something that could be enjoyed by a Californian.

Then I went to a bookshop, while I waited
for a colleague to arrive, and we had a brief meeting regarding the
coming week.

Now I am sat in a coffee shop, writing to
you. Not very entertaining I'm afraid.

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:43 AM

To: Adam -

Do you still speak with your parents?

Sometimes you sound as if you've come to the
end of your life and now just looking back. Do you think the most
exciting parts are in the past?

Have you a wife? Girlfriend(s)?
Children?

So you've been in trouble with the law.
Details, please.

Be honest. Do you think you're smarter than
99% of the population?

When people meet you in real life, are they
too charmed or afraid to take offense at your impudence?

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:47 AM

To: Eden E

I don't speak with my parents.

I haven't come to the end of my life. In the
words of Sinatra; "The best is yet to come." It's more, the end of
a chapter, and soon I'll embark on my next one, which will bring
plenty of excitement I'm sure, though I'm not an excitable
character.

I don't have a wife, or girlfriend, or
children.

I haven't had a great deal of trouble with
the law actually.

My impudence. When did I become impudent?
Ha. People either love me or hate me. It's been this way all my
life. I rarely cause offense of any kind in a first meeting.

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:55 AM

To: Adam -

I see, so you save your impudence for
subsequent meetings.

You won't tell me details, so I'll imagine
that you were the Artful Dodger at 15, stealing to survive on the
streets.

Not excitable? I get excited by little
things - such as the sun if it ever shows up this morning. I guess
that's not so little, being a gigantic ball of fire.

Have you ever forgiven someone for a great
wrong done to you? Or are you intractable?

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:59 AM

To: Eden E

Ha, I admire how you inform me of how I am
on certain matters, rather than waiting for my clarification.

It's not that I'm withholding detail, it's
simply a complex subject and hard to summarise in one sitting.

You strike me as an intelligent, methodical,
feminine, romantic mess.

I have forgiven, but it is rare. Usually I
don't forgive. I am not in contact with anyone who has betrayed me,
and certainly none of my former flames.

What did you think of my day thus far? It
seemed quite mundane to me, having written it out.

I see a growing warmth in our exchange,
which is enamouring.

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:07 AM

To: Adam -

Your meal was anything but mundane. Do you
often eat like that? If my breakfast seemed excessive, it's because
during the workweek I usually have nuts and a banana for breakfast
and a salad for lunch.

I had a big laugh over your assessment of
me. Feminine. So ironic. But then we haven't met in real life. You
might change your mind.

Is there anything off-limits in my
questioning?

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:11 AM

To: Eden E

There is nothing off limits. And your
questions can't offend me. If I feel I don't want to answer, I'll
politely decline.

I don't think you are conventionally
feminine. Uniquely I suspect.

I might change my mind? So, you intend on
meeting me? Interesting.

Your breakfast didn't seem excessive.

I eat well, every day, yes. Though I eat
breakfast once a week at most.

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:22 AM

To: Adam -

I didn't say I intended to meet you. What's
interesting is you concluded that.

You're not in contact with any of your
former flames? I am surmising - feel free to contradict me or
politely ignore me - that when your romantic relationships end they
do so in an explosion of bad feelings when one or both parties
commit unforgivable acts? Or do you prefer to burn bridges once you
cross them?

Can't you just tell me the name of your
forthcoming book so I can read all about it in juicy detail??

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:30 AM

To: Eden E

I know you didn't say that. I was pulling
your, most likely, finely formed leg.

None of them. I burn the bridges, like you
said. I have been betrayed by women in the past, though when I
leave a relationship, it's also about a fresh start and I don't
think there is any true viability in remaining in contact with an
ex, unless there are children involved. Anything else is naive and
foolish, betrayal or no betrayal.

I can't tell you the name of my book, as I
already said, unless we become genuine friends, who are genuinely
close, with a genuine trust.

Are you seeing anyone? I don't believe I
have asked.

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:42 AM

To: Adam -

Do you think men and women can be friends?
Strike that. You specifically - can YOU have a true friendship with
a woman without any romantic or sexual feelings affecting it?

By some of your comments, I assume that you
have certain preconceptions of the kind of woman I am. Once I
deduce that is the case with a man, I run the other way. Or suggest
that he does so.

I'm not seeing anyone.

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From: Adam -

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:50 AM

To: Eden E

I think in general it's rare. I think for me
it's rare, but it is possible, I do have the capacity for that. And
you?

No, but I just have a feeling that you have
smoking hot legs.

Sometimes I observe you having a growing
affection for me, sometimes I wonder if you are thinking me
arrogant.

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From: Eden E

Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:56 AM

To: Adam -

Well, my mother captivated my father with
her legs, so he says. This was in the 60s when most women wore
miniskirts, even pious virgins like my mother. She fell in love
with his eyebrows.

Men in general act as if they want to be my
friend, and then later it turns out they have other motives. The
only men I'm friends with are my brother and my son.

Both.

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From: Adam -