Dear Diary (The Exchange #1) (3 page)

By the time we got back home, he had managed to put my mind at ease and I wasn't feeling too much like an easy lay anymore. We lounged around in the den (I thought it was the front room, but apparently not) watching DVDs for a bit. I was soon yawning my head off, so I headed up for an early night.

Tyler never showed up for his nightly visit.

Hx

~DD~

May 2012

Dear Diary,

Tyler has seriously been avoiding me. Every time I walk into a room, he suddenly has an
'elsewhere'
to be. Aiden is the only one who has noticed, but I can't bring myself to tell him what happened between Tyler and me. I don't want the rest of my stay to be any more uncomfortable as it has become.

Actually, Aiden and I have been spending a lot of time together, which I am really enjoying. He doesn't look it, but Aiden is funny as hell. Once you get past the whole
"study study study"
thing, there's a lot more to him. It's very different from the time I spent with Tyler. That was all about the flirting, and as I now know—him trying to get laid; me and Aiden are beginning to build an actual friendship.

It started when we sat up late putting the finishing touches to our assignment the day before it was due to be handed in. He ended up telling me about Jessie. His deep voice was so soft while he spoke, but it was tinged with anger and regret. It was obvious that he'd really cared for her, maybe even loved her, but she'd hurt him. Used him. I told him about the idiots I had dated back home. Maybe it was the underage sex we look back on, not quite regretting, but being mistaken about being ‘ready’ that caused our bond, or maybe it was real friendship.

Whenever we were at school, especially when we sat together at lunch, I watched Jessie a lot. The stereotypical cheerleader as portrayed by Hollywood. He never looked at her, though; he was always looking down at something else. This made me sad and angry, but I was glad he never saw the way she and her friends looked and laughed at him.

Bitch.

Hx

Chapter Six

May 2012

Dear Diary,

Bethany and I are going to the cinema tonight. She wants to see some new film that I've never heard of, but it'll be nice to go out with her. She's really become a good friend over the last three weeks. I'm probably going to miss her the most when I have to go back home, but we're definitely going to keep in touch.

When I get home, I’m going to have a word with my parents about the possibility of her coming over to the UK to stay with us for a while. I’d love to show her my way of life and introduce her to my mates.

I'm debating telling her about the whole Tyler situation, but am scared of looking like a complete tool for falling for his smooth talk and flirting.

Gotta go, she's here.

Hx

~DD~

May 2012

Dear Diary,

Tyler was at the cinema with his cronies from the university he attends. They were quite an imposing bunch to look at, and were pretty rowdy as they moved around the small lobby area. He smiled at me when we passed, and that was it. I was just relieved they weren't going into the same film. As soon as he had disappeared, Bethany pounced, making me promise to tell her all about it after the film.

I enjoyed the movie more than I expected to. It was a bit too cheesy for me, but the male lead was kinda pretty. We decided on pizza for eats and as soon as we'd had our order taken, Bethany grilled me about Tyler. So I told her . . .

Can you believe it? I fucking cried, like a sappy teen flick heroine. Bethany sat patiently while I sobbed out my story. When I told her about having sex with Tyler and then him completely blanking me she didn't look surprised.

It had happened before. A few times . . . various girls had fallen prey to his charms and good looks only to be fucked and dumped. A string of heartache and tears were scattered around the high school and university, according to Chad. I was both furious and ashamed. How could I have fallen for it all? I feel so stupid.

Bethany was sympathetic; one of her friends was one of Tyler's bedpost notches and had begged and begged him to give them a chance together. He'd been really shitty to her, talking down to her in front of his friends while at school, laughing at her when she cried and pleaded.

I was disgusted. Because I have to share a house with him, I’ve promised myself I won’t confront him. It is going to kill me not saying anything to him. I don't know how much Marie and Joseph know about how he is treating girls, but I’m not going to be the one to fill them in.

After our pizza, Bethany drove me home. I invited her in for a bit, but she said no as we watched Tyler pull up and saunter inside. I couldn't blame her as I hovered on the porch watching her drive off, desperately wishing I could do the same.

Tyler had the cheek to come see me in my room last night. He was all smiles and charm as he made himself comfy. I just stared at him for a bit. Just as I was about to start yelling at him, Aiden stuck his head round my door. I quickly invited him in. I really didn't want to be alone with Tyler, knowing what I knew about him. As soon as Aiden came in, Tyler mumbled something unintelligible and walked out. Aiden looked at me weirdly, his eyes full of questions. I have my suspicions that he knows . . . how can he not? It's his brother, even if they're not close. We made idle small talk before he left me so I could get ready for bed.

I laid there for hours, unable to get to sleep over the anger and fury at being taken for a fool. I am starting to get angry more at myself than at Tyler. I pride myself on being a good judge of character, but I had been completely sucked in, simply by his good looks and charm. Well, I am done. He is nobody to me. I just want to enjoy the rest of my time here without drama. If I can.

Hx

Chapter Seven

May 2012

Dear Diary,

The last week has been crazy. Aiden and I got great marks on our assignment so Marie and Joseph took us all out for a meal. It was so nice, apart from the fact that Tyler came, and sat next to me. I wanted to move away from him, but that would have given it away that I now hate him with my entire being, after being friendly with him at the beginning of my visit. Aiden kept shooting us looks from across the table, but I did my best to ignore his gaze. The one time I did look at him, he was looking at his brother with sheer and utter hatred. There is something else going on there. As much as I want to know more, there is no way in hell I am going to ask those questions.

Marie and Joseph were their usual chatty and pleasant selves. Telling stories about the guys when they were younger and asking about what I was like when I was growing up. I was glad my mum wasn't there to completely embarrass me. She would have provided visual evidence and everything. That would not have been good.

When we got back to the house, it hit me that I only have just over two weeks left before I have to go back home, back to the humdrum of real life. I am looking forward to seeing all my friends again, Facebook and email just doesn't cut it, but I am really going to miss everyone here, well, almost everyone.

Bethany asked me if I was going to confront him about how he treated me, so I told her about the promise I‘d made myself. I want to, but what would it achieve?

Hx

~DD~

May 2012

Dear Diary,

It’s weird. When I first arrived, I thought me and Tyler were going to be pretty tight after he was the most welcoming of the family (apart from their mum who was just happy there was another woman in the house). We got on really well before
everything,
and it made my coming to America (HA! Love that film) easier to deal with, but then the way things went to shit, I thank my lucky stars that I have Bethany. I could never have coped with hating myself the way I did if I hadn’t had someone to talk to.

Then me and Aiden began spending more and more time together. Ever since we were paired for our assignment, we’ve quickly become quite close friends. Yes, he’s gorgeous and often turns me on without trying, but the feeling isn’t mutual. As much as she hurt him, I think he’s still hung up on Jessica. Gutted as I am, this is a good thing because I’m going home soon, and I don’t want to be all mopey and shit. I’ll be missing him and Bethany enough as it is, adding the complications of pining over a guy would make it completely unbearable.

He doesn’t look it, but Aiden is seriously funny, which is brilliant. His mum walked into the den the other day and I was crying. She rushed over to me, checking I was okay. Before I could speak, I let out this loud snort which set Aiden off laughing again, which of course, had me going again. She mumbled something that sounded like ‘strange kids’ and buggered off back out of the room, a huge grin on her face.

In fact, later that day, she cornered me in the kitchen to thank me for putting a smile on “My boy’s beautiful face again.” She did say she wished that me and Tyler would sort our differences out, and even asked what had happened. Of course, I couldn’t tell her that he’s a manwhore, so I just said maybe before I leave.

Don’t bloody count on it.

Hx

Chapter Eight

May 2012

Dear Diary,

I can't believe I go home in four days. I kinda don't want to. I really like it here. I feel settled (finally) and have made good friends in Aiden, Bethany, and Chad. Don't get me wrong, I miss home, but I feel 'right' here. Does that make me sound weird?

Marie and Joseph went to their cabin in the country last weekend, leaving us three kids at home alone. I was dreading it, thinking it was going to be really awkward, but Tyler went to some party, leaving me and Aiden alone to fend for ourselves.

We decided on DVDs and popcorn. Taking a run down to the rental place and picking up five films, and about a kilo of popcorn, was a bit of a throwback to going to the local video rental place with Dad when I was kid and a lot of fun. I got a serious fit of the giggles when Aiden picked up a copy of
Strictly Ballroom
. I never pegged him to want to watch a film like that! I love it, but I'm a girl. He threatened to lock me in the garage if I didn't stop teasing him, but I couldn’t. It was too easy to keep going on about it, each time collapsing in fits of giggles and actual snorts. I was having too much fun to be embarrassed about it.

After losing three rounds of
Rock, Paper, Scissors
in a row, I was on drinks and snack duty while Aiden set up the immense TV and surround sound. Two huge bowls of the popcorn and a gallon of hot cocoa later, I was snuggled up on the sofa under a light blanket while Aiden sat at the other end, both of us completely relaxed in each other’s company.

He fell asleep before me, which set off the giggles again. I sat up and shuffled over to him and removed his glasses before he rolled over and crushed them. I'd never really looked at him properly, but he really is beautiful. Smooth skin (bastard), thick and long eyelashes (arsehole), and the most plump and full lips I had ever seen (I hate him).

Just as I started to move away to watch the rest of the film, he grabbed my wrist. I nearly shit myself in surprise. Before I could pull away or say anything, he kissed me, and I swooned. This is me we’re talking about and I actually swooned. I think I also whimpered into his mouth, but I’m not going to admit that just yet.

We laid there, on the sofa, and kissed for ages . . . then he gave me the best orgasm I've ever had! I was hesitant at first, but even I could tell the difference between him and his twat of a brother. He was only the second guy (yeah, we'’ll not mention the other one!) to go down on me, making me scream the house down. Thank Christ, Tyler wasn't there. I don’t think I could have coped with the aftermath. The slow languid sex after was amazing and left me feeling like jelly (not jam as here in America) while Aiden held me in his arms.

It was entirely different to the bleachers sex, and he made me feel like he actually cared about me. Always checking that I was okay and comfortable. He was a mystery I wanted to unravel.

A while later, he unwrapped his arms from me so I could go clean up. That’s when the guilt hit me. How could I have slept with both brothers? Am I a total slag? I could feel tears prick my eyes, but I had to stop them from falling because Aiden decided to join me for a shower . . .

So, now I'm alone in bed, tears streaming down my face. I hate myself. I hate that I fell for and was used by Tyler, and I hate that I slept with Aiden after sleeping with his brother. I just hope he never finds out, I don't think I could cope with him looking at me the way he looks at Tyler. I don't want to make him feel the hurt that Jessie caused him to feel.

Tyler came back the next morning, still drunk from the night before, and sat with me in the kitchen. We actually spoke for the first time since everything between us went to shit. It was meaningless chit chat as both of us avoided what hung between us like a bad smell. I wanted to bring it up, but decided to just leave it. I'm going home soon; it's not worth the hassle.

Hx

~DD~

May 2012

Dear Diary,

Packing to go home is something I thought I’d enjoy when I first got here. I never expected to be accepted by people, never mind fall for two brothers.

I want to go home to escape everything, but I also want to stay, see how things would pan out between Aiden and me.

What a shit storm of the highest proportions.

Hx

Chapter Nine

May 2012

Dear Diary,

Once again, I'm in an airport waiting. My flight back home is delayed for three hours, so I'm all alone, pretending to read my book, but thinking. I can't help but think about Tyler, about Bethany, about myself, but mostly, about Aiden. The last four days of my time at the King's went by ridiculously fast. Aiden and I spent a lot of time together, just talking.