Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine (6 page)

I would like to store my 1971 Chevy Nova for the winter. What should I do before parking it for six months?—B.D., Lakewood, Ohio

We always cry a little. If you’re storing the car outside, park it on cement covered with plastic to prevent moisture from reaching the undercarriage. Leave the windows open a quarter inch. Change the filter, oil (use a synthetic), brake fluid and antifreeze. Top off the tank and add a gas stabilizer, then run the engine long enough for the stabilizer to reach the carburetor. Remove the battery (store it on plywood) and use a trickle or solar battery charger. To keep varmints out, close the vents, cover the tailpipe and place mothballs or camphor crystals in and around the vehicle. Inflate the tires to 35 pounds and put the car on jacks. Some people suggest starting it periodically, but that’s a bad idea because it leaves moisture in the crankcase and exhaust. Before you revive the car, give it a thorough visual inspection. Then crank the engine with the coil disconnected until the oil light goes off.

Pumping up the gas

Do fuel additives do any good?—M.M., Santa Barbara, California

Sure. Although today’s cars are better at keeping the fuel injectors clean, the detergents added by law to gas still help. In fact, these additives are the only thing that distinguish one brand of gas from another. Lately, some oil companies have drastically reduced the amount of detergents in their products, both to save money and supposedly because modern fuel injectors can handle it. That may be true, but some mechanics report increased carbon build-up in other parts of the engine, which affects gas mileage and power. (Carbon problems are often misidentified as a slipped timing belt or bent valve.) Our mechanic suggests using an additive such as Redline SI-1 with each fill-up.

Do radar jammers work?

I have a device in my car that supposedly jams police radar. I’ve heard that I could be charged with obstruction of justice. Is that true?—S.A., El Paso, Texas

Yes, but in most states that will happen only if a state trooper makes a federal case of it. Jamming or attempting to jam a police speed gun has been a federal crime since 1997, but the feds don’t enforce the law. State troopers in Florida and Ohio are the most aggressive about initiating obstruction charges, and California, Colorado, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Washington, D.C., have jammer bans of their own. The larger problem might be finding a jammer that actually works—you can buy legal defusers that foil some laser guns, but any product that claims to block radar is probably bogus. Carl Fors of Speed Measurement Laboratories, which tests products for police agencies, says the latest police laser guns have such short bursts that they’re invisible to jammers or detectors.

Restoring a rare Porsche

Do you remember that 1989 Porsche Speedster owned by Nicolas Cage that was stolen and dumped into the Lake of the Ozarks? It had only 100 miles on it. I read the other day that the thief got five years in prison. He ripped out the stereo before pushing the $100,000 black beauty into the drink. The windshield was crushed and the convertible roof was torn half off. Can a Porsche in that condition be restored? Five years wasn’t long enough for that punk.—H.T., New York, New York

We tracked the Speedster, one of only 802 made, to Jerry Hawken of Hawken Paint and Body in Osage Beach, Missouri, who bought it from Cage’s insurance company. Hawken won’t reveal what he paid but says salvage jobs typically run 15 percent to 25 percent of retail. He cleaned off the mud, drained the fluids (“The transmission fluid was like honey”) and repaired the suspension. He had the gauges rebuilt, replaced the computer, electrical components and headlights and next plans to straighten the damaged panels and replace the $4,000 windshield. “People see the car and say, ‘What a shame,’“ he says, “but I’m optimistic. And I have a clean title signed by Nicolas Cage.”

How is fuel efficiency determined?

How do automakers determine fuel efficiency? The numbers seem precise, but I’ve found a lot of variance with my car.—J.K., Chicago, Illinois

As they say, your mileage may vary. Automakers test preproduction models and submit results to the Environmental Protection Agency, which retests about 10 percent for accuracy. The vehicles are driven in a lab on a treadmill-like machine. The city test is an 11-mile, cold-start, stop-and-go trip with an average speed of 20 mph and a high speed of 56 mph. The trip takes 31 minutes, with 23 stops and about six minutes of idling. The highway test is a warm-start, 10-mile trip and averages 48 mph with a high of 60 mph and no stops. The EPA reduces the results by 10 percent for city and 22 percent for highway to reflect real-world conditions. In early 2006 the EPA proposed that, beginning with model year 2008, the calculations also account for high-speed/rapid acceleration driving, use of air conditioning and cold-temperature operation. Visit fueleconomy.gov to check your vehicle’s projected miles per gallon. The average car or truck manages 20 mpg—about the same as in 1980.

Going to the source

I’ve heard that if you buy a BMW you can arrange to pick it up at the factory in Germany and test-drive it on the autobahn before you bring it home. Is that true?—N.M., Denver, Colorado

Yes, although you’re setting yourself up for disappointment when you get the vehicle back to 55 mph land. Five European automakers offer factory packages—BMW (Munich), Mercedes (Sindelfingen) and Porsche (Stuttgart or Leipzig) in Germany, and Volvo (Göteborg) and Saab (Trollhattan) in Sweden. With the exception of Porsche, which charges at least $1,150 for the privilege, the companies
discount seven to nine percent off U.S. sticker prices. At a minimum the packages include duties and shipping costs; some also offer perks such as airline tickets, hotel stays and short-term insurance. You can tour Europe with your purchase for up to six months before a hefty sales tax kicks in (it’s 16 percent in Germany). Each year about 6,000 people buy cars this way. Everything is arranged months in advance through stateside dealers because each vehicle must be built to meet U.S. pollution-control and safety standards. That’s the catch if you attempt to buy and ship a car on your own. Making it street legal here can cost thousands of dollars. A few models aren’t available for pickup; BMW’s Z4 and X5, for example, are made in South Carolina.

Your car’s little black box

I’ve read that some newer cars have a factory-installed black box like one you’d find on an airplane. What sort of data do they store? Can it verify your speed? Which vehicles have these boxes, and can they be removed or disabled?—D.N., Sioux Falls, South Dakota

The latest boxes record your speed during the few seconds before impact, as well as whether you accelerated or braked and whether your seat belt was fastened. They can be useful to police in reconstructing accidents. In one case in Florida the data helped convict a man charged with manslaughter. He had been driving his 2002 Trans Am on a residential street when he collided with a car pulling out of a driveway; two teenagers were killed. He admitted to going 60 mph. The accident investigator calculated his speed at 98 mph. The black box recorded it as high as 114 mph. He got 30 years. As many as 40 million vehicles, including every GM since 2000 and every Ford since 2002, have electronic data recorders. Safety researchers, insurers and prosecutors love EDRs; opponents see them as a potential violation of your right against self-incrimination. (One defense attorney compared the technology to having a government agent in the backseat.) Automakers take the position that the data belongs to the vehicle’s owner—GM collects it for safety studies only with permission—but that doesn’t stop a judge from issuing a court order. In 2003, California became the first state to require automakers to inform buyers if their new cars have EDRs. The technology is difficult to remove because it’s integrated with the system that controls the air bags.

How much safer is the backseat?

How much safer are you in the backseat without a belt than in the front?—M.L., Springfield, Ohio

You’re safer in a head-on, but not by much. Researchers at the University of Buffalo who analyzed 300,000 fatal crashes found that the force of an unbelted adult slamming against the driver’s seat nearly triples the chance the passenger will die and doubles the chance that the driver will. We don’t mean to sound like safety nerds, but we prefer that our readers die while having sex.

How to read an oil can

What does it mean when an oil is 5W-30 or 10W-30? Which is best?—K.M., Kansas City, Missouri

The two numbers indicate how the oil performs when the engine is cold and hot. The 10W-30, for instance, contains polymers that allow it to act like a thinner 10-weight oil as the car is started and a thicker 30-weight oil while it’s operating. This is important because when you first start the engine the oil is thinner and pumps more quickly. As the engine gets hotter the oil thickens, which provides better protection for its moving parts. (This innovation—adding polymers to oil that make it thicken as it gets hotter when it naturally would become thinner—is one reason engines today can last well beyond 100,000 miles.) In Maine the temperature goes below zero often enough that many people use 10W-30. In the Midwest 5W-30 is sufficient.

Customize your ride

Why don’t the customizers you see on the Discovery Channel have to build their motorcycles in accordance with state and federal safety regulations? That is, how do they get around requirements such as blinkers or a horn?—D.W., Miami, Florida

Every bike taken onto a public road is supposed to comply with safety and pollution-control laws. Custom bikes are required to have, among other things, headlights, a rearview mirror and approved tires, rims and brakes. State laws may require side mirrors, a speedometer, muffler and brakes on both wheels. There are illegal cycles (and cars and trucks) out there, but the people who can afford to have them built can also afford the tickets. In fact, what makes a bike unsafe has been a point of contention since the days when the feds went after choppers for their extended front ends. The custom shows on cable have been great
for the industry but also draw attention to its extremes, and regulators have taken notice. In December 2004 the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in what many saw as a preemptive strike, fined a custom shop that does work for MTV’s
Pimp My Ride
$16,000 for removing a driver’s-side air bag to install a video screen in the steering wheel. As of 2006, the Environmental Protection Agency allows customizers to build 24 motorcycles that don’t meet emissions standards (allowing for shorter and more attractive exposed exhausts and better performance). The catch is that they can be ridden only to and from bike shows. The agency will also allow individuals to build one exempt cycle with no travel restrictions. However, the exemption applies only once per lifetime, so if you wreck or sell your dream bike, you can’t replace it.

CIGARS

Sometimes it’s just a cigar.

Storing cigars without a humidor

I don’t own a humidor, so I’ve kept the boxes in my bedroom closet. The cigars are in the boxes, in metal tubes, with a leaf in each tube. When I went to smoke one the other day I noticed what looked like mold on some of them. What can I do about this? Should I keep them in the basement? Please help me prevent a good thing from going to waste.—C.C., Trenton, New Jersey

First, make sure it’s mold and not bloom, which is a grayish white powder caused by oils that the tobacco exudes as it ages. Mold is bluish green and stains the wrapper; bloom is harmless—the equivalent of dust on a bottle of wine. A closet is a good place for your stash because it’s dark and remains at a relatively constant temperature close to the ideal of 70 degrees. But it still might have heat spikes, which can lead to trouble. That’s why you should invest in a small humidor or cedar cigar box or, at the very least, use an airtight container that you’ve lined with cedar strips, which are the “leaves” wrapped around your cigars now. Cigars will dry out if you don’t add moisture (the goal is 65 to 70 percent humidity), so include a paper towel or small sponge soaked in distilled water or use a product such as Evermoist. Don’t let water come in contact with the wrappers. Dry cigars can be rehumidified as long as their oils haven’t evaporated.