Death By High Heels (The Kim Murphy PI Series Book 1) (16 page)

“Get the hell out of my car!”

“Not until you tell us what you’re doing in our neighborhood,” said the giant man.

He reached over and tried to take the key from the ignition. I tried slapping his hand away but was about as successful as a Prius driver playing chicken with an eighteen wheeler. As I was fighting with Mr. Humungous my door opened and hands grabbed at me. My elbow connected with Mr. Humungous’ nose. The giant intruder let go of the key and put both hands to his nose.

“Oh man, I’m bleeding.”

Hesitant hands became aggressive and yanked me from my seat.

“Get out. I don’t want you bleeding inside my car.”

Suddenly I was spun around and shoved against the side of my car. Mr. Nosy Napoleon along with several others stood in front of me. A gentleman dressed in jeans and a t-shirt held me fast to my car. “Get your hands off of me!”

“Don’t let go of her. The cops are on the way.”

“Let go of me, or I’m having you arrested for assault.”

“The only one getting arrested for assault is you,” said Mr. Nosy Napoleon.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You hit me in the nose.”

I turned my head and was grateful Mr. Humongous was doing his bleeding outside of my car. “I’m sorry. That was an accident. You know you should really put some ice on that.”

“Oh, right. Thanks.”

I blanched and turned back around, much more willing to face an angry crowd than watch blood drip from that guy’s nose. Though to be fair, I wasn’t sure three people qualified as a crowd. Figuring the best thing to do was to not resist and remain quiet. The police would arrive soon and then I’d be on my way. I hoped.

“What the hell were you doing taking pictures of our houses?” Mr. Nosy Napoleon asked.

Instead of answering, I glared at him, and was pleased when he flinched.

“She put the memory card in her bra,” said Mr. Humongous.

“Give it to me,” Mr. Nosy Napoleon demanded.

I laughed. “Not a chance.”

Unhappy with my answer, he reached forward as if to get it himself. “Try it buddy and I’ll knock your teeth out.”

A woman with gray hair and purple eye shadow that matched her shirt smiled and waved at me. I liked her.

Before Mr. Nosy could touch me, he was yanked backward and a familiar voice said, “Try it and I’ll lock you up for sexual assault.”

“You can’t do that. I’ve done nothing wrong,” Mr. Nosy Napoleon sputtered.

Why oh why wasn’t there a zombie apocalypse when you needed one? I looked around, desperately searching for a zombie or a hungry werewolf. Hell, I’d have even settled for a cranky Chihuahua, but, alas, it was not to be. Instead, I suffered the humiliation of being rescued by Brandon and Grant.

“You need to step back. Now.”

“No way. We caught her taking pictures of our homes. She’s probably going to come back at night and rob us or kill us in our sleep. Besides, who the hell are you?” said Mr. Nosy Napoleon.

“I’m Detective Tompkins and this is Officer Murphy. Now, if I have to tell you again to get your hands off of her, you’ll be wearing a set of cuffs and explaining to your lawyer why you disobeyed an order from the police.”

In Nosy Napoleon’s haste to get as far away from me and, I assumed, Grant, he trampled over two of his neighbors.

“Finally. Now all of you go on back to your houses. We’ve got this,” said Brandon.

Not ready to admit defeat, Mr. Nosy Napoleon shouted, “We have a right to know what she’s doing here.”

“If your only complaint is she took pictures from the street, then she didn’t break any laws. If she had trespassed on your property, that would have been different, and I don’t think any of you are saying she did that. Are you?” Grant asked, staring directly at Mr. Nosy Napoleon.

“No, but she did break his nose.”

Everyone turned to look at Mr. Humungous, whose nose, I was grateful to observe, no longer leaked the gooey red gunk like a faucet from a horror movie.

“Nope, it’s all cool. The bleeding’s stopped. Besides, it’s my fault. I never should have scared the little lady.”

I didn’t think I’d ever been called
little lady
in my life. I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or an insult. Either way, he wasn’t going to press charges so I would just take the win.

“Now that that’s all settled, everyone can go back to their business. Have a nice day,” said Brandon.

After a few mumbles and grumbles the small crowd dispersed. I even waved a cheery goodbye to Mr. Nosy Napoleon, who glared in return. Oh well.

“Thank you, both, but I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Jeez, Kim, what the hell?”

“Brandon, what part of don’t want to talk about it did you have trouble with?”

“The don’t part.”

“Hey, wait a minute. What are you doing on duty? It’s daytime.”

“Figured that out on your own, did ya?”

As an answer to his question, I glared at him.

“I switched with one of the guys for the rest of the week. That way I can be off for Mom’s party.”

“I don’t want to hold you up so you can go now.”

“Lighten up. We did just save you from an angry mob.”

“Oh please, that group of uptight, loaded snobs. They would have probably stuffed me in a track suit and tried to force lemongrass or foie gras on me.”

Brandon chuckled. “I don’t know, the short guy looked tough.”

“Please, if I’d wanted to, I could have sent him home crying to Mommy or his wife or maybe his maid. The guy was a jerk,” I said. “So, what are the two of you doing here together?”

“Saving your ass,” Grant replied.

“Well my ass and I were just fine, thank you very much.”

“Gross. I’m outta here. Try to stay out of trouble.” Brandon slung his arm over my shoulder and whispered, “Be nice.”

Brandon got into his police cruiser and took off.

“I guess I’ll be going too. See ya.” I turned to leave but Grant stepped to the side, blocking my car door.

“Not yet. We’ve got to talk.”

“I can’t imagine we have anything to talk about.” I tried to ignore how my pulse had suddenly picked up.

“For starters, you can thank me for saving your, as you put it, nice ass.” He glanced down at said ass and back up, waiting for a response from me.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“It was pretty pathetic.”

“Fine. Thank you, Detective Tompkins. How’s that?”

“Better, I guess. What are you doing here?”

“My job,” I said, trying to ignore just how close we were standing.

“Does your job include pissing people off?”

“Unfortunately it’s in the job description, somewhere between prying into other people’s business and spending hours in my car taking pictures of people.”

“Then you’re in the right job. You have a natural ability to piss people off.”

“Not always.”

“You always get me angry.”

“Maybe it’s just you.”

“No way. Most people find me easygoing and quite good-looking as well.”

“Oh, is that all the guys you arrest, or just the special ones?” I asked, not wanting to admit my own opinions of his looks. The man was arrogant enough already.

Grant frowned.

“Although, I’m sure some of the ladies you arrest would love to have you strip search them.”

Grant’s eyes locked onto mine. For a brief moment I forgot how to breathe as an image of Grant and me naked popped into my head and wouldn’t go away. Especially when he leaned down, his warm breath brushing against my ear.

“Don’t worry, Kim, I’ll make sure there’s a female officer to handle yours.”

“Asshole!” I tried to push him away but the big jerk didn’t even budge an inch.

I had an urge to remove the smug look on his face. The only thing that kept my hands at my sides was the very real fear he would carry out his threat. The thought of getting felt up by a female officer didn’t do anything for me, but the thought of Grant handling the task got me tingling in all the right places, though I’d admit that the day one of my brother’s won the Miss Universe Pageant.

“No, thanks, but there is one guy there who could definitely give me one. Hell, it might even be worth making a false confession to get some alone time with him.”

Grant pushed me backward so I was once again being held against my car, only this time I didn’t seem to mind as much. Several body parts were interested in a bit more bodily contact.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Why? What do you care?”

“If anyone is going to strip search you, it’s going to be me.”

Of course my cell phone chose that moment to ring.

“You should get that,” Grant said, taking a step back in more than just the physical meaning.

“It can wait.”

“Go ahead.”

He moved a couple feet away and I knew that whatever else he had been about to say was now safely tucked away. I’d never get it out of him now, short of an interrogation room and a pair of handcuffs. Ignoring the thrill the image of Grant in handcuffs gave me, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and answered. “Hello.”

“I have a job for you.”

“Dimitri Fortunato, are you so busy you can’t waste time on hello?”

“Hello, Kim. Is that better?”

“Much. What’s up?”

“I have a job for you tonight. It pays fifty bucks,” Dimitri said.

“Fifty?”

“Okay, okay, a hundred.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’ve got another cheater. What else?”

“Just the thought of some loser hanging on me makes me want to take a shower in hand sanitizer,” I said.

“Okay, one fifty and that’s as high as I can go,” Dimitri said.

“What about your regular girls?”

“He only goes for brunettes. I’ve got a blonde and a redhead. My brunette can’t do it ’cause the babysitter had to have her appendix removed last night.”

“Ouch.”

“Well, it’s pretty bad timing for me. So, will you do it?”

“Sure.”

“Great. I’ll meet you at Indiscretions at eight.”

“A strip club? No way.”

“Don’t forget to wear something slutty.”

“Dress slutty how?” I asked, but it was too late, he had already hung up. I looked up and found Grant staring at me. “What?”

“Nothing.” He raised his hands and stepped back.

“If we’re done, I’m out of here.”

“Sure.”

I opened the car door and slid behind the wheel.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Short, tight, and see-through.” With that he turned and strode off to his car.

Instead of going back to the office I went home. With my evening assignment I had to do a quick check of my closet to see if I had anything that could be considered slutty. I parked in the back and tried not to stare at Lindsay’s apartment. If I hadn’t known better, I would have sworn the thing was taunting me. I shook my head at my brief trip to Insanity Station and walked into my apartment. Upstairs, I dumped my purse and keys onto the bed. I opened the closet door and stared, not seeing anything that resembled what Grant had suggested. My everyday wardrobe consisted of comfort clothes made up of t-shirts and jeans. For dress up I did have several nice dresses deemed appropriate by my family. I even had a sexy number that had received my friends’ seals of approval, but I was missing the slutty factor.

I hesitated briefly before grabbing my cell phone and punching in speed dial number one. A male voice answered on the second ring. “Richie residence.”

“Hi, Elijah, it’s Kim. Is her highness available?”

He chuckled. “How are you today, Miss Kim?”

“No worse than usual. How about you?”

“Just fine and dandy. Wait just a moment while I get her.”

I waited while Melissa’s combination housekeeper, chef, personal assistant, bodyguard, and chauffer bravely invaded her office where she was enjoying killing people off while her other characters were busy getting laid in ever explicit and glorious detail. The latter was why I had called her for her assistance. Though if I ever decided to go on a killing spree, she’d also be the person I called for advice.

A few minutes of silence was broken by the sound of my best friend shouting, “Hell yeah, I want to talk to her.”

There was a muffled sound and then Melissa said into the phone. “What’s wrong?”

“Hello to you too,” I said.

“I repeat, what’s wrong?”

“Just because I’m calling during your self-imposed ‘do not disturb because I’m on a deadline’ time, doesn’t mean anything is wrong,” I replied.

“While it’s the beginning of my day, you, I assume, have been a busy little investigator so I know there is something important going on in that adorably obnoxious head of yours. So spill it.”