Debra Webb - In His Touch Box Set (Here To Stay, Up Close, Tempting Trace, Basic Instincts) (8 page)

“Nathan, you don’t understand how much you hurt me—”

“I hurt you?” His anger flared. It consumed him, pushed away every other emotion, even the pain. “You just don’t get it, do you?” He shoved his hands through his hair and tried to calm himself, before he exploded into a thousand, screaming pieces. “You walked away from me,” he ground out. “And never came back. I thought...” He couldn’t say the words.

“Why would I want to come back?” Paige’s voice rose sharply. “You didn’t need me.”

“I didn’t need you?” he asked, amazed that she could say such a thing. He suppressed the shudder that threatened to shake him. “Do you have any idea how—” His breath jammed in his chest. He closed his eyes and concentrated on what he needed to say. He let out a defeated little laugh before finally allowing his gaze to meet hers again. “I even prayed.” He shook his head. “Prayed for a miracle that never came.”

“You should’ve been praying for your own two-timing soul, you arrogant idiot!” she shouted.

The woman was crazy! He hadn’t done a damned thing. She was the one! The one who left. The one who never came back. “What’d you expect, Paige?” He flung his arms heavenward. “Did you think I’d come crawling to Memphis and beg you to have me?” He shook his head and planted his hands firmly on his hips. “Not in this lifetime, Blondie.” He pointed his finger at her. “We made love and you never came back.” His words were flat and bitter.

Paige flattened her palms against his chest and pushed hard, forcing him to take a step backward. “You mule-headed jerk! I tried to comfort you and you took advantage of me.”

“Took advantage of you?” Nathan huffed an indignant breath. “Nobody twisted your arm. You practically threw yourself at me.”

“And it meant nothing to you!” She shoved at him again, propelling him back another step. “You had your fun. But as soon as I was back in Memphis you married the girlfriend you failed to mention while you were making love to me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” He grabbed her wrists and prevented her next shove. She wrestled to free herself, but he held her tighter. “What are you talking about, Paige?”

She glared at him through her tears. Her lips trembled. Nathan had to restrain himself from covering her lips with his own and soothing them into a sweet oblivion. “Tell me what you’re talking about,” he demanded, more gently this time. He loosened his grasp on her wrists when she stopped fighting him.

“A few weeks later... I...I came back.” She shuddered and tears spilled past her thick lashes. “Robert told me you’d already married someone else.” Paige pulled herself free of his relaxed hold. “My father told me I should have expected it...I shouldn’t have trusted you”

Nathan’s mind whirled. He moved his head from side to side in denial. She couldn’t believe that. Paige drew in a sharp breath, drawing his attention back to her confused eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks. This just couldn’t be. All these years.

“Paige, I didn’t even meet her until a month after you left. I waited, hoped, even prayed that you would come back. When you didn’t, I lost control and married the first woman who showed interest. I thought I could forget you.”

“But...” Paige shook her head and backed away a step. “You weren’t already engaged when we...?” Her questioning gaze locked on his.

“No,” he answered her unfinished question. The past that should have been flashed before his eyes as he stood there looking at Paige. Nathan felt as if a twister had ripped through him, leaving a gaping hole where his soul used to be. She was all he ever wanted and his stupid pride had taken her from him. She had come for him and he had already made the mistake that would ruin both their lives.

“All this time, I thought you...” Paige’s expression cluttered with confusion.

Nathan’s whole body grieved. His heart dropped into his boots. Pride had kept him from calling her or going to Memphis to get her immediately after she had left. When she didn’t come back, he had sought revenge. He had ruined their lives. He took a tentative step toward her. Her eyes filled with the same pain and regret he felt. Nathan reached out and caressed her cheek. He tried to tell her with his eyes what he couldn’t find the words to say. He slid his arms around her and pulled her close. She fit perfectly against him, as she always had. Her cheek against his chest, his chin against her soft hair. Her warm body soothed the deep, dark ache inside him.

Paige clung to Nathan, cried softly into his shirt. He pressed his lips to her hair. “Shh, don’t cry,” he whispered. “It’s over now. We can...We can still be friends.” At least they could have that. Nathan felt Paige tense in his arms. She tilted her tear-stained face up to his. Her sweet lips entirely too close... too inviting.

“Do you mean that? We can forget the past and try to be friends?”

He smiled. She was so beautiful. If she would still accept his friendship, it was hers. She never had to know the truth—that he would go to his grave loving her. “Yes. I’d like that.”

She smiled then. “I’m so glad, Nathan. There’s so much I need to tell you.”

He pressed her cheek against his chest and squeezed her tight. “Let’s not talk anymore right now. There will be time later.” She nodded against him. He couldn’t deal with anything else right now.

Nathan felt some sense of relief that Paige seemed so happy, but somehow he didn’t feel happy at all.

~*~

Paige fumbled through the dark, trying to find her way down the stairs. The storm had knocked the power out. She shivered. She hated the dark. She wasn’t really afraid. Not really, she reminded herself. It was just the idea of not being able to turn the lights on. She had never slept with a nightlight or anything like that, not even as a child. But she often awoke in the middle of the night and turned the bedside lamp on just to make sure she could send away the darkness if she chose to.

Paige felt her way into the kitchen and opened one drawer at a time, carefully examining and identifying the contents by touch. There had to be a candle or flashlight around here someplace. Lightning flashed, temporarily illuminating the room. A boom of thunder followed a few seconds later. She hated storms, too.

She had gone to bed over an hour ago, but couldn’t sleep. Her mind reeled with all that had happened. She and Nathan were actually going to try to be friends. Paige had been shocked to discover that he hadn’t made love to her while engaged to someone else. If she had only known, things would have been so different. She and Nathan would have been raising Jesse together. But she couldn’t change the past. She prayed with all her heart that when she told Nathan about Jesse it wouldn’t undo the progress they had made today. Just to be sure, she’d give it a few more days to set before she tested their new friendship.

She had been prepared to tell him today, but he had seemed talked out. She supposed it was best to let this soak in and then take the next step.

Her mind conjured up the memory of Nathan’s arms around her. How on earth could she ever be just his friend? She sighed. She loved to look at him, to hear him speak... to smell his exclusive scent. Just watching him walk sent her heart into an acrobatic act.

Paige frowned. What would she do when he actually fell in love with someone else?
Like Celine,
she thought with disgust. No matter how she had pretended to hate Nathan, Paige knew deep down inside that she didn’t. But it was too late. Too much time had passed. And then, of course, there was Jesse. When Nathan found out she’d kept his son from him, he really would hate her. She felt certain of that.

Feeling the tremendous weight of her error, Paige sagged against the kitchen cabinet. She had done this to herself. Nathan had been right all along. It was all her fault. She should never have left after that night they spent together or she should have come back sooner. But she’d wanted him to be the one to make the move, to ask her to come back. She closed her eyes against the overwhelming darkness. How she hated not being able to turn the light on.

A knock at the front door made her jump. She calmed her runaway heart, then felt her way to the entry hall. She hadn’t heard a car drive up, which wasn’t surprising, considering the storm raging outside.

Another knock echoed in the hall as she neared the door. Why did anyone bother knocking, she wondered? Nearly everyone in town seemed to have a key. Paige opened the door hesitantly only an inch or so, and then wider. Nathan stood before her, his black hat and long duster dripping water on the porch. He held a kerosene lantern in one hand. A bright flash of lightning lit up the darkness behind him, silhouetting his tall frame.

“Nathan, what are you doing out in this storm?” The dim light from the lantern cast a glow over his features. His dark eyes burned into her soul with a heat that threatened to devour her right where she stood.

“I remembered that you didn’t like the dark, so I brought you a lantern,” he said in that low, sensual voice that sent shivers over her skin.

“Come in.” She held the door open wider. A flame sprang to life inside her as his gaze flickered over her.

“I’ll just leave the lantern,” he offered tentatively.

“No, don’t be silly.” Paige took his free hand and pulled him inside. The feel of his hard, callused palm sent a wave of heat up her arm. “You don’t want to go back out into that storm.”

She took the lantern so he could get out of his wet coat. Nathan hung his hat and coat on the hall tree. He raked his fingers through his damp hair; muscle bunched and flexed beneath his shirt as he moved. Paige tried her best not to notice the way his jeans fit against all that made him male, but it was impossible not to. Her nipples stood at attention, rubbing against her pink night shirt.

“Come into the parlor and we’ll have a brandy to chase away the chill.” She smiled and then led the way. Surely with the dim light, he couldn’t see the physical response his presence had caused. She set the lantern on the sofa table and gestured for Nathan to have a seat. She poured them each a brandy. Friends would do this.

Paige handed Nathan a snifter and then took a seat next to him, but not too close. She pulled the hem of her night shirt over her thighs as she tucked her feet under her bottom.

“Did you hear from Robert today?” Nathan asked as if that’s what he’d come through the rain and the storm to find out.

“Yes. He and Ginny are having a great time. Vegas may become an annual affair.” Paige laughed softly. “I think they’re going to be really good together.”

“I think so, too,” Nathan agreed before taking a sip of his brandy.

“You haven’t said much about how things are going at your place,” she ventured when he didn’t say anything else.

“We haven’t really done much talking until today, now have we?” He smiled a sexy, heart-stopping kind of smile.

“No, I guess we haven’t. We’ve been too busy trying to take each other’s heads off.” Paige released a sigh and drank down the last of the fiery liquid. It left a trail of warmth as it flowed downward. Where the brandy’s effects left off, Nathan’s began. She wondered if she had any effect on him physically. Probably not. His level of sexual sophistication likely surpassed becoming aroused by the mere sight of a scantily clad female.

She waited for Nathan to speak again, but he didn’t. She supposed that maybe he was waiting for her, but she didn’t know what else to say. She had spoken last. The silence in the room seemed deafening. The rain whipped around the exterior of the house with the same force as her body temperature appeared determined to rise. She felt warm and moist in places that had nothing to do with the climate.

He smelled good, like leather and rain. Reluctantly, she surrendered and allowed her gaze to wander over his profile while he stared into his brandy. Every feature spoke of strength and beauty. She had never met another man like Nathan Blackrope. And no one else had ever made her feel the way just looking at him did. Everything about him appealed to her senses. The way his clothes fit his lean, sinewy body. His long, silky black hair. The heat in his eyes that spoke of passion and fire. She sighed. But it was not to be.

“I should go,” Nathan muttered then stood. He walked to the bar and set down his glass.

Disappointed that he was leaving so soon, she deposited her glass on the table and followed him to the front door, the trusty lantern in her right hand. “Thank you. It was very sweet of you to bring me a light.”

He shrugged into his duster and took his hat in his hands. He offered a strained smile. “It was just one of those spontaneous things, you know...” His voice tailed off as his gaze dropped to her mouth and then jerked back up to her eyes.

Paige’s heart leapt in her chest when she recognized the hunger in his eyes. Need radiated from his entire body. She could almost feel the vibrations. The realization rattled her. She felt breathless.
Nathan wanted her
.

He settled the hat on his dark head. “Good night.”

Before Paige could catch her breath, he had opened the door and walked across the porch. She stood, rooted in the doorway.

“Good night, Nathan,” she called to his retreating back. He paused on the bottom step and turned around. The way he looked at her had her feeling weak and suddenly too far away. Rain dripped from the edge of his Stetson, but still he stood there... looking at her like no one else had ever looked at her, with a need and a hunger that dwarfed everything else into utter insignificance. Rivulets of water slipped down his rain-slicked duster. She wanted to run to him, but she couldn’t move. She prayed he would run back to her, but he remained perfectly still—motionless in the falling rain.

A blaze of lightning flashed through the dark sky, and Paige saw in his eyes, for just the briefest fraction of a second, the love that had once bound her to him. Before her heart took another beat she sensed that that bond was as strong and powerful as if it had never been broken. But suddenly the spell shattered. Nathan turned and strode to his truck. Mute with regret, she watched him drive away.

Could he—no, no he couldn’t. Don’t build yourself up for this kind of letdown, girl. It was just physical. A man and a woman with a past getting a little too close for comfort. That’s all it could be
.