Deceived (23 page)

I blinked a few times and tucked my self-loathing back into the dark corners of my mind where hopefully they’d stay locked up and leave me alone. Looking back and regretting the choices I’ve made was like a mental right hook to the brain. I couldn’t take back what I had done; all I could do was be smarter about future
decisions
.

“Sorry, I spaced out,” I told Dorian. My eyes absorbed every one of his masculine features. His fa
ce was square with a strong jawline framed
by his long brown hair. His nose had a perfect slope and just below were his full lips, parted as he took air into his lungs. The rise and fall of his broad chest caught my attention. I dragged my gaze downwards and trailed my eyes along the paths his muscles made under the tight t-shirt. Everything about him was beautiful, even his smoky eyes which freaked me out to begin with, were every bit as stunning as the rest of him.  Masculine, confident and—watching me watch him. My cheeks burned with my embarrassment.

He regarded me with a look I’d seen a few other times, an expression I tried to ignore, but at the moment, I couldn’t look away from. I was a woman who noticed attractive men, but I would never act on those feelings. I loved Aiden as sure as the night is long. But Dorian stirred something deep inside of me, and we connected on a level I hadn’t with Aiden. It wasn’t easy to ignore something that profound, especially when it was staring at me like I was the sexiest girl in the world.

Dorian took
a step forward. His arms hung limp
, but I could tell he was nervous about what was happening between us. The tightness in his jaw and tri
ceps betrayed the cool confidence
he was trying to portray.
A
n inch of icy air separated us. I lifted my eyes to his, and we stared at each other. No words were needed; our body language
spoke for us. Dorian brought his arm up and with the back of his hand
caressed the side of my face with more gentleness than I imagined. My
eyes closed against the feel of it. A shuffle of feet enticed my eyes open just in time to see Dorian bending forward
and
toward my
eager lips.
I shook my head, unable to tell him no with my voice. I wanted to taste his kiss, to feel his lips on mine, but my heart wouldn’t allow my curiosity to betray me. Love trumps attraction, and attraction was all there was between us.

Dorian’s gentle features turned hard, and he stepped away. “What is it about him?” he asked. He didn’t need to say Aiden’s name, I knew which
him
he was referring to. I was happy his back was to me, so I wouldn’t have to look into his
agitated
eyes. I was ashamed I allowed that closeness to even happen. It led Dorian on, and I betrayed Aiden in the process.

“I’m not talking about this. You’re my teacher, and I’m your student, let’s just leave it at that. Please?” I begged. My body had a tendency to rule while my brain took a backseat to my urges. Luckily, I allowed rational thought to smack my interest in Dorian to the curb. Our little intimate moment still caused damage that couldn’t be undone, but it could have been so much worse. I may have led Dorian on, but in time he’d appreciate that it didn’t go further. If he kissed me, it wouldn’t change anything other than another scoop of self-loathing from me. I didn’t trust him enough to think anything could ever transpire between us. Sure, I was attracted to him, any girl would be, but that wasn’t enough. I assumed the connection we felt was based on the fact that we both dealt with the dead.

Dorian looked over his shoulder. “You won’t be able to ignore it forever.”

*****

We walked down the path in complete silence, the awkwardness between us back with a vengeance.  Dorian returned to being distant and cold. The first couple “safe zones” were pointed out, and he explained how to decipher what qualified them as safe. A slight shimmer, like a heat mirage, lingered around the spots, barely noticeable in the thick fog that hung in the air. After that, Dorian just pointed the areas out.

I wanted to say something, anything, that would fix what happened between us, but no words seemed sufficient enough. I ran through the many excuses in my head, and they all came off lame and cliché. “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I just want to be friends” weren’t going to cut it.  Nothing I said would make one bit of difference. Dorian let his guard down and so did I. We both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we were attracted to each other. And that cat could never be shoved back in the proverbial bag. So, I’d have to settle for my lessons to be taught with sarcasm and resentment.
With
luck
, I’d be on my way back to Flora before too long, and Dorian would be back to escorting souls to wherever. We’d go back to being strangers, which
was for the best
.

“Stop,” Dorian ordered.

Skidding to a
halt
, I looked up. He was staring at something just ahead. Following his gaze, I caught a glimpse as something dark stepped out from behind a tree.
It didn’t have any
discernible facial features. The only
noticeable things were
its limbs.

“Is that a ghost?” I whispered.

Dorian’s fingers wound around my arm, his grip tightening the longer he stared at the black figure. “Demon.”

I stared wide eyed at the demon, scared and fascinated. I expected hooved feet, claws and horns, not an opaque shadow. The demon took jerky steps towards us, sending my fear over the edge and my heart slamming against my chest it moved closer and closer. Its head lurched from side to side as its feet
stepped
closer and closer. The air around us grew unbearably cold. A cloud of mist formed in front of me as I breathed. Dorian jerked me to the side and broke into a run with me tripping behind him to keep up. The demon let loose a deafening wail behind us, like nails on a chalkboard.

Turning left, we ran down the open field, that would
house downtown Moon, but in this
realm the buildings didn’t exist. I risked looking back to see how close the demon was and ended up tripping over a stump. My body crashed to the ground, my face smashing into the earth hard.  Dorian yanked me up, and we continued to run. The demon was
maybe
eight feet behind us and gaining more ground by the second. It was surprisingly fast for how jerky and distorted its movements were.

Dorian grabbed me and shoved me into a tall oak tree. I had a split second to scream before I disappeared into darkness. The tree vanished along with the grassy field we were just running through. My eyes fought in vain to penetrate the
opaqueness
. Shadows upon shadows drenched the space in blackness, a bottomless pit of nothing. I turned in circles, but all I could see was the same
impervious dark
in every direction. Was the tree a safe zone? Is this what they looked like behind the shimmer? I didn’t have the time or the right frame of mind to observe the tree before Dorian pushed me into it.  Fear of the demon washed away any confusion in my mind. I didn’t care where I was so long as the demon wasn’t with me. Then a terrible thought trickled into my mind, and
all of a sudden
the thick blackness blanketing me didn’t seem so harmless. The demon had also been a black figure, was he here with me? Watching me right now while I swiveled in circles?

“Dorian!” I screamed into the emptiness. He had been right behind me, why didn’t he step through the tree? Had he pushed me out of harm’s way and placed himself in its path? Or did the demon catch him before he could escape? Standing in the abyss with thoughts of Dorian being killed by a demon was suffocating. My lungs
constricted, and I gasped to catch any amount of air. I coughed and sobbed, panic seizing my body and turning it against me.  Tears burned against my cheeks, and sweat broke out along my brow. Burying my fingers in my hair, I screamed at the top of my lungs. The feeling of abandonment pressed inward on my heart and squeezed like a vice grip.  I dropped to my knees with a heavy thump, bracing my hands out in front of me; I took big mouthfuls of oxygen into my lungs and tried to calm my frightened body. I didn’t know how long I stay crouched before I saw a shadow moving along the darkness, even though I knew that wasn’t possible—you need light for a shadow to manifest. But my eyes played tricks on my brain and teased my already shaken nerves.

After the shadow came footsteps. The thu
mping of hard soled shoes somewhere
in front of me, headed in my direction. Falling back on my behind, I scooted further and further away from the approaching steps. Biting my lips to keep my sobs muffled, I strained my eyes to make sense of what was happening. A large dark figure broke against the darkness and stood not four feet from me. I curled inward, making myself as small as possible, hoping I would slip its notice.

“Gwen?” Dorian spoke
with concern
.

Relief washed away my insecurities. I scrambled up and ran to him, hitting hard against his chest and throwing my arms a
round the thickness of his body
. I’d never been more relieved to see another person in my entire life. Dorian encased my body with his arms and held me while my sobs picked back up, my tears soaking his t-shirt. I felt small and fragile against his large body, but safe. His hand caressed my hair in long calming strokes and my sniffles lessened, awareness taking front and center in my mind. Attraction stirred deep within me at the close proximity of Dorian.  My body fit perfectly against his. I withdrew from him when all I wanted to do was collapsed against him.

With shaky hands, I wiped my tear soaked cheeks and cleared my throat. “Where were you?” My voice sounded like a small child who needed reassurance.

“I was here, Gwen, the entire time. I stepped through the tree right after you, but in here it’s a disorienting and easy to get lost.”

He’d been with me the entire time, and I hadn’t even known. Calling the place disorienting was a major understatement. I was sure if humans could explore a black hole, this is what they’d find, a big glob of nothingness.

“What is this place?” Wrapping my arms around myself, I fought the shakiness in my body and voice. I’d seen many things in my life and felt real fear, but none of those past experiences measured up to what I’d experienced tonight. The demon would be embedded in my mind for a long time. I had come so close to true evil and escaped. Future obstacles couldn’t be as scary as that.

“The in-between,” Dorian answered.

“That doesn’t really answer my question. What is the in-between?”

Dorian grabbed my hand and I jerked it away.

“I wasn’t coming onto you, Gwen, We need to find a way out and unless you want to get separated again…” He let his unspoken words speak for themselves.

I already felt closer to him than was appropriate, holding his large hand would confuse those feelings more. But the thought of being lost in the “in-between” was scarier than the attraction I wanted to file in the denial part of my brain. Reaching my arm out, I fumbled for his hand but ended up caressing his leg in the process. A deep amused chuckle pierced through the darkness, and if Dorian could see my face, he’d have found amusement in the unflattering shade of red my cheeks were turning.

“If you wanted to feel my body, all you had to do was ask,” he teased and clutched my hand in his.

“I can’t see a damn thing in here,” I remarked as I fought the urge to acknowledge just how nice his body felt beneath my palm. 

As we walked, with what seemed like aimless steps, Dorian explained the in-between. “The in-between is what lies beyond the safe zones,” he began. “Neither Ghosts or demons can enter, unless called to our reality. The spirits you summoned from the vampire blood passed through the in-between to manifest in our reality.”

“So,” I interrupted. “It’s the space between the two realms?

“Exactly. We are allowed to enter because we are connected to both worlds. But it acts as a path for summoned spirits and demons as well.”

My nervousness settled a little, but as soon as Dorian said those words, my muscles tensed and my grip tightened on his hand.

“You cannot be hurt in the in-between,” Dorian explained, picking up on my change in mood. “Summoned beings have a one track mind.
Their only goal is to travel
to whoever summoned them. We could pass a hundred demons right now and they wouldn’t even acknowledge us.”

I considered his words and for the most part I understood, they were like mindless zombies with one thing on their minds—finding the one who summoned them. Still, it didn’t ease my mind to know I could run smack dab into another demon.

“I could go the rest of my life without seeing another demon and that’d still be too soon.” I stopped in my tracks. “You said we wouldn’t see any,” I accused like it was his fault one popped out and attacked us.

“I guess I jinxed us, but at least now you know what they look like.” His reasoning left something to be desired.

I don’t know how long Dorian and I walked around in the darkness, but my legs cramped and a splitting headache was trying its
damnest
to shatter my skull. I was tired;
the rush of adrenaline had long since vanished and left me drained.
After what seemed like forever
, Dorian stopped and pointed out what he categorized as a veil—a thinning in the in-between. Either he was pulling my leg, or I was just too tired to see it. Stepping through the
veil
, Dorian and I were greeted with a purple smeared sky. The brightness, although muted by the late hour of the day, was blinding. I closed my eyes against the sudden change of light and took turns peeking out of each eye. The straining on my eyes caused my head to explode in pain. When I got my bearings and my eyesight back, I realized we were still in Moon.