Decision Time (15 page)

WESLEY

Lori
and I hung out at Mr. Submarine until around 6:00 p.m. We talked about a lot of stuff that was going on in each other's lives. I told her about how crazy my mother was and how my father and I were closer than we'd ever been. We talked about the hope and uncertainty of getting into a good college. We discussed some of the bizarre habits of the faculty and a few of the wild rumors floating around about teachers who were secretly dating students. When we left, I walked her home, which was without question out of my way. However, Lori had worked on me and had gotten me to calm down a little, as well as help me understand her perspective. I didn't agree with a lot of her actions and behavior, but there was something about hearing the logic and thoughts that motivated her. Along the route to her dad's house, there was a park. Lori, who was clearly in no hurry to return, suggested we stop and sit on the park bench for a little while longer. I
agreed and a short time later, I found myself watching the bright sun duck down below the orange-and-red horizon.

Lori began stroking my hair. “You have very soft hair,” Lori said, complimenting me on my finer grade of hair.

“Why are girls so big on hair?” I asked even though I sort of already knew the answer to that question.

“Our hair or guys' hair?” she asked for clarification.

“Guys' hair. I mean, dudes don't care much about hair outside of getting a fresh cut. We don't care about what shampoo or conditioner goes into it. We just wash it, and move on.”

“Girls look for men with a finer grade of hair to determine if they want to have a baby with the guy. No girl wants to give birth to a nappy-headed baby or at least that's been sort of the unwritten rule and tradition.”

“What's wrong with nappy hair?” I pressed the issue even though I didn't particularly care one way or the other.

“Nothing really. It's just a hang-up some people have. That's one of the reasons I like India.Arie's song, ‘I Am Not My Hair.'”

“Yeah, that's a cut,” I admitted as the tune began to play inside my mind.

“So, Wesley…truthfully. What's the deal with you and Keysha? Are you guys still dating or what?”

I shrugged. “I don't know where Keysha and I are. And honestly, you being here in Illinois isn't helping me win any redemption points with her.”

“If she truly wanted to be with you she would have called or at a minimum sent you a text by now. Has she done that?” Lori asked, prying heavily into my relation
ship with Keysha. I removed my cell phone to see if I'd missed any messages from Keysha. To my disappointment she had not tried to contact me at all.

“No. She hasn't tried to reach me.”

Lori traced the outline of my face with her index finger. “I don't want to sound insensitive, but it's over between you and her whether you realize it or not.”

“I keep feeling like if I could just get her to listen to me, she'll come around. We'll forgive each other, renew our commitment to one another and move forward.”

“You know what you need to do?” Lori asked.

“What?”

“You need to stop pining over her. No girl wants a sappy, needy guy,” Lori professed.

I frowned at her comment. “I'm not a sappy guy,” I said, shooting down her perception of me.

“Oh, yes, you are.” Lori chuckled. “You're kind of a hopeless romantic who doesn't realize that the love story express has derailed.”

“That is so cold.” I felt as if she was stepping on my heart.

“What's so cold about the truth? I mean if more people would be truthful with each other we would have a lot less misunderstandings.”

“So what's the real truth about you, Lori? Why are you in my life?”

“I've told you a thousand times. I believe destiny is guiding us toward each other.”

I laughed; she didn't see her own hypocrisy. “And you call me the hopeless romantic.”

“Oh, you're trying to bust me out now?”

“Why beat around the bush?” I asked.

“True. Why should I beat around the bush? Do you remember the first day we met at your grandmother's house?” Lori stood up to face me and then straddled me. She then positioned herself so that her behind was resting on my lap. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist.

“Yeah, I remember,” I said, inconspicuously guiding my hand around the curve of her hip.

“I knew I liked you right away. You didn't have to say a single word to me. There was something about you that I was drawn to. I was drawn to you in a way that I'd never experienced before. Now tell me the truth—when you saw me, weren't you attracted to me?”

I thought about what she'd just said and tried to think clearly instead of allowing my lust to offer up a false answer.

“When I saw you I thought you were decent-looking. I sized you up and made some assumptions.”

“You're beating around the bush, Wesley.” Lori craned her neck toward me and kissed me. The fluctuation of Lori's hips against my body during the kiss shifted my thinking. I suddenly yearned and ached for her. I wanted to explore every inch of her and learn the secrets and mysteries of her body, which had not been discovered by a man. “Did you want to have sex with me when you first saw me?” Lori boldly asked.

“Yes,” I answered as she sucked on my bottom lip.

“Then you are destined to unlock my treasure and enjoy the fortune that awaits you inside of me.”

 

By the time I arrived home it was close to eight in the evening. I was thankful neither my dad nor grandmother were there to ask a bunch of questions that I didn't feel like answering. I went to my room, undressed and took a long shower. When I was done, I put on some sweatpants and my Thornwood T-shirt. I went to my room, rested on my bed, and replayed what had taken place between Lori and me. Admittedly, I was confused. My lust dominated and tortured my devotion to Keysha. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand and sent a text message to Keysha.

 

Wesley: Hey U.

 

To my complete surprise and utter shock she returned my text.

 

Keysha: Hey U back.

 

Wesley: What R U doing?

 

Keysha: Wuz talking 2 Mike. Now N my room doing homework.

 

Wesley: R U mad @ me?

 

Keysha: I wuz but not anymore. U have a new girl. I'm over it. I have moved on.

 

Wesley: It's not like that.

 

Keysha: Yeah right. I am not stupid.

 

Wesley: I didn't say u were.

 

Keysha: QQ.

 

Wesley: Shoot.

 

Keysha: Y is Lori at Thornwood?

 

Wesley: She had to leave after her house got shot up.

 

Keysha: What????

 

Wesley: Some gangbangers shot up her house b-cause she was a witness.

 

Keysha: Witness 2 what?

 

Wesley: Her boyfriend shot me.

 

Keysha: WTF?

 

Wesley: I no. It's complicated.

 

Keysha: Sounds like u have a mess on ur hands. So now U R in 2 gangster girls?

 

Wesley: Y R U trip n? U should trust me.

 

Keysha: I did and U broke my heart. Can't let dat happen again.

 

Welsey: I'm sorry. I really am.

 

Keysha: It is what it is.

 

Wesley: I want 2 C U again.

 

Keysha: 4 what?

 

Wesley: b-cause

 

Keysha: Nope. All U R gonna do is play me.

 

Wesley: U don't believe dat.

 

Keysha: QQ.

 

Wesley: Shoot.

 

Keysha: is she giving u the punany?

 

Wesley: No.

 

Keysha: Yeah right. I bet she want 2.

 

Wesley: QQ.

 

Keysha: O now U got questions.

 

Wesley: Yes. Do U love me?

 

Keysha: In what way?

 

Wesley: The same way U did when I left.

 

Keysha: QQ.

 

Wesley: How R U gonna answer a Q with a Q?

 

Keysha: Do she love u?

 

Wesley: In what way?

 

Keysha: WTF Wesley? Answer the damn Q.

 

Wesley: What do U want me 2 say?

 

Keysha: How about the truth?

 

Wesley: Y R we talking about her? We should talk about us.

 

Keysha: QQ.

 

Wesley: What?

 

Keysha: Y did U let her interrupt us at my locker?

 

Wesley: I was surprised 2 C her. I didn't know she was here.

 

Keysha: U R lying 2 me.

 

Wesley: No I am not.

 

Keysha: Yeah right.

 

Wesley: QQ.

 

Keysha: What?

 

Wesley: When can I C U again?

 

Keysha: I don't have time 2 C U.

 

Wesley: Y not?

 

Keysha: I have practice.

 

Wesley: 4 what?

 

Keysha: I made the drama club. Got the lead part.

 

Wesley: Really? Congrats. Did not no dat. Can't wait 2 C it.

 

Keysha: QQ.

 

Wesley: Yeah?

 

Keysha: How is ur shoulder?

 

Wesley: Good getting better every day. I C a doctor later in da week.

 

Keysha: So do I.

 

Wesley: Y what's wrong?

 

Keysha: Folks R making me C a shrink b-cause of U.

 

Wesley: Huh?

 

Keysha: I ran away from home 2 C U and U had dat be-huch there kissing all over U and U made me feel really stupid.

 

Wesley: I did not no U ran away from home 2 C me.

 

Keysha: Dat is how deeply I used 2 love U. Now I got 2 C a damn shrink b-cause my folks think I am crazy and bipolar.

 

Wesley: I'm sorry. I did not no.

 

Keysha: Well now u do. I told my dad our love wuz 2 strong 2 B broken.

 

Wesley: I still do love U Keysha.

 

Keysha: Ne-grow please! I heard dat u wuz @ Mr. Submarine getting a rub down!

 

Wesley: What U got spies now?

 

Keysha: Well iz it true?

 

Wesley: QQ.

 

Keysha: What?

 

Wesley: Can we just start over?

 

Keysha: I already have. TTYL.

KEYSHA

Over
the next several weeks I focused on school, and concentrated on my homework and my ever-evolving relationship with Antonio. During this same time period my general disgruntlement with Priscilla Grisby continued to grow. On numerous occasions her snide remarks, piss-poor attitude and general dislike of me warranted a good old-fashioned butt-whipping. However, I held back because I was truly trying to be a bigger person than her and didn't want to be reduced to her level by getting into a scuffle.

Wesley continually stalked me via text messages, phone calls and unwelcome visits to my locker. Oddly enough, he never showed up when Antonio was visiting me. He always managed to come at a time when Antonio wasn't around. I wasn't sure if it was purely coincidence or if Wesley had somehow timed his visits. He unyieldingly tried to get me to agree to date him again. I'll admit that somewhere in my
heart there was still a place for him, but I just wasn't willing to allow my heart to be bruised by him again.

“Wesley. We'll always be friends,” I told him one day when he was trying particularly hard to win back my affections.

“But I want to be more than just friends. Can't you see how sorry I am and how hard I'm trying to win you back?”

“Wesley, you really need to stop doing this. You're starting to get really creepy,” I said, hoping to get him to back off a little.

“Oh, now I'm creepy?” I'd insulted him as well as hurt his feelings.

“Not in a bad way. Just in an ‘I'm concerned' sort of way.” I tried to clean up my comment to protect his feelings. I don't know why; I guess I just felt sorry deep inside. Besides, I could tell he was truly struggling with accepting the reality that he'd lost me.

“So are you saying that after all we've been through it's totally over?”

“It's decision time for you, Wesley. You can continue to come around begging me to date you again and keep on getting your feelings hurt. Or we can just be friends and leave it at that,” I explained to him the best way I knew how.

“You still want me. I know you do. I'm not giving up on us, Keysha.” Wesley frightened me with his response. The phone calls, texts and visits to my locker did not stop. I saw a darker part of him that I'd never seen before.

 

My relationship with Antonio continued to blossom due to the fact we were spending a large amount of time
together working on the play. I enjoyed my interactions with him. As I got to know him, I learned of his ambitions and life goals. He wanted to attend a performing arts school and one day become an actor like Denzel Washington, Al Pacino and Jamie Foxx.

“Those are my favorite male actors,” he said to me one Saturday evening when he and I were out on a date. We'd stopped for a bite to eat at a restaurant after seeing a local production of
From the Mississippi Delta
at the ETA Creative Arts Theater. We enjoyed the play tremendously. It was about a woman living in a time and a world that denied her the most basic rights. So she journeyed from Mississippi to Chicago and through her journey she gained the strength to appreciate herself not only as a woman, but also as an individual. Antonio and I talked about the play at great length, but then we began discussing some of his favorite actors.

“Jamie Foxx has so many amazing talents. He can sing, play the piano and act. Plus, dude is ripped in the muscle department.”

“I will give you that. Jamie Foxx is nice-looking,” I agreed with him as I took a sip of my iced tea.

“Anyway, I know it's going to be very hard, but once I break in to acting I want to take on roles that challenge me and push me to my limit.”

“Push you to your limit how?” I inquired.

“Have you ever seen the movie
Cast Away
with Tom Hanks?” Antonio asked.

“Is that the movie where his plane crashed on an island?” I hoped I'd recalled the right film.

“Yes. And the only thing he had to act with was a
freaking volleyball he named Wilson. It is nothing short of amazing the way he carried that entire film. He did it all through body language and narration.”

“I didn't realize you were so passionate about acting,” I said, pleasantly surprised. He was most certainly different from any guy I'd ever dated.

“It's not just acting. It's about the performing arts as a whole,” Antonio said, making gestures with his hands.

“So where does all of your passion come from?” I asked just as our waitress set the food we'd ordered before us. I'd ordered a turkey club sandwich and Antonio had ordered spicy buffalo wings. I immediately started eating, but Antonio bowed his head and said a quick prayer. I stopped eating until he was done.

“My parents were both in theater. My mom used to be an Alvin Ailey dancer before she got arthritis, which has slowed her down considerably. My father is a director at the Goodman Theater downtown.”

“How come you never told me any of this?” I was disappointed about not knowing this.

“I don't like to talk about it because then people may get the impression that the school is playing favoritism by giving me lead parts in the school play,” he answered as he dabbed the corners of his mouth for buffalo sauce trapped there from his wings.

“I've never been to a professional stage play before,” I admitted.

“Really? Oh, wow. They are so much fun. In fact, I should take you to see the Blue Man Group. It's playing at one of the theaters in the city.”

“I've seen the commercials for that production. It looks so exciting,” I said, feeling giddy at the idea of going places I'd never even considered.

“I've seen it before. You'd love it, Keysha. I just know you would. But you know what is truly amazing to me?”

“No. What?” I asked.

“You.”

“Me?” I laughed. “What's so amazing about me?”

“Growing up, my parents were always taking me to some production. And I've seen my fair share of good actors and bad ones. For you to have no formal training and be as good as you are is a gift. You should seriously consider learning all that you can about the craft. I can see your name on the movie billboard—
The Drama in Her Life
, starring Keysha Kendall.” I laughed, but somewhere deep inside of me, I liked the sound of it.

When Antonio dropped me off after dinner he pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. He opened up the car door for me.

“It's okay. I can let myself in,” I said teasingly.

“Nope. Your dad really grilled me when I came to pick you up, so I want to make sure he knows that I've returned you home safe and sound.”

“You really don't have to do that. Jordan is very overprotective of me,” I said, feeling somewhat embarrassed. No sooner had I said that than the floodlights came on and Jordan unlocked the door.

“Hello, sir,” Antonio greeted him right away.

“Antonio.” Jordan eyed him suspiciously.

“I just wanted to let you know that I've returned Keysha home. Safe and sound.” Antonio grinned.

Jordan hesitated, but then smiled and said, “Thank you.”

“I'll see you later,” Antonio said to me as he walked back to his car. As I stepped inside I became irritated because I didn't get a good-night kiss.

 

The night of the show had finally arrived and I was a nervous wreck. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and kept going over and over my lines in my head, making sure I hadn't had some type of bizarre memory lapse. Just as I was finishing up in the bathroom I heard a knock at the door.

“Mike, leave me alone,” I shouted through the door.

“It's not Mike, honey.” I heard the voice of Grandmother Katie and immediately flung the door open.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I hugged her. I inhaled her sweet-scented perfume as she embraced me tightly.

“You knew I couldn't let you have your very first stage performance and not be there. Come on. You know me better than that.” She smiled at me.

“I'm so happy to see you, but I'm also so unbelievably nervous. My stomach is doing all sorts of weird things.”

“You just have a case of the jitters, that's all. Every performer gets them, but the moment you step out onto the stage and the lights come up, amazingly that panicky feeling vanishes into thin air.”

“I hope you're right because right now I feel like I don't even know my own name.”

“You'll be just fine, honey. I'll be sitting out there in the
audience watching you and cheering you on.” Grandmother Katie stepped back to take a good look at me. “My grandbaby. An Oscar-winning actress.”

“I don't know about all of that.” I laughed nervously.

“You just never know what life has in store for you,” she said as Barbara came up the stairs behind her.

“How are you doing, Keysha?” she asked.

“Okay,” I answered.

“Are you just about ready for me to drive you up to the school?” Barbara asked.

“Yeah. Just let me grab my purse from my bedroom and I'll be right down. Oh, do you have your tickets?” I inquired, wanting to be sure that I'd given them to her.

“Yes, I've got them.”

“Be sure to sit in the center seats so you'll be able to see everything,” I reminded her.

When I walked downstairs and into the family room, Jordan, Mike and Sabrina were there to wish me luck and offer me their support. I hugged them all before leaving with Barbara.

 

“Maya, I can't believe this night has actually arrived,” I said, taking her hand into my own. I squeezed it to show her just how intensely excited I was.

“I know. I'm feeling nervous as well, but we're going to knock them dead,” she assured me.

Maya and I walked backstage, where there was a flurry of activity. The stage crew was making final adjustments to the set. Folks were buzzing around looking for their costumes and trying to find someone to help them put on their
makeup. Maya led me into our dressing room, where I sat down, took a few deep breaths and began to prepare. An hour later, I was in full costume and standing backstage peering out into the theater, which was filling up very rapidly.

“You shouldn't peep out at the audience.” Antonio came up from behind and startled me.

“Jeez, you scared the crap out of me!” I said as I placed one hand over my heart.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to do that,” he apologized as I adjusted his wardrobe.

“You look magnificent, baby,” I said as I gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Hey, you two, everyone is looking for you down in the casting room,” Maya said as she approached.

Antonio and I went into the casting room for some last-minute instructions before the show. A short while later I was sitting on the sofa, cloaked from view by the giant black stage curtains. I clenched my fists a few times in an effort to calm my nerves. I heard the announcer welcome our guests to the show and finally, the curtains were drawn back and the audience began clapping. The opening scene went off without a hitch. The audience laughed at the funny parts and everyone remembered their lines. During the second scene one of the cast members, whose part was to behave like an over-the-top disc jockey, lost his wig. However, he made light of it by picking it up, putting it back on lopsided and continuing on. The audience loved it. When Antonio and I kissed each other there was a loud chorus of oohs and aahs from the spectators.

When the show concluded, everyone was called out
onto the stage by name. When my name was called, I heard Jordan's voice roar above everyone else's. I looked up into the crowded stands and saw him, Barbara, Grandmother Katie, Mike and Sabrina all waving at me. My heart was filled with so much happiness and I was so overcome with joy that I started crying. I couldn't help it. I'd never achieved anything like this in my entire life and it was a very defining moment of sorts. The clapping and the cheering continued as the curtains were drawn to a close. As soon as we were all hidden from sight, our voices erupted in jubilation. All of the actors and actresses formed a giant circle and began jumping around. Even Priscilla was happy about the performance and didn't give me any grief.

The cast came out into the hallway to meet parents, guests and friends who'd come out. Jordan gave me flowers and each member of my family gave me a big hug. Others who were there congratulated me and expressed how pleased they were with my performance. As I was mingling with the mob of people gathered in the hallway, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. When I turned around I saw Wesley. I was so excited that I gave him a giant hug and a kiss on the cheek. In doing so I inhaled the unmistakable scent of alcohol. I wrinkled my nose and turned my head in the opposite direction.

“You were incredible, Keysha!” Wesley congratulated me.

“Thank you,” I said, turning back and looking into his eyes, which appeared to be glassed over.

“How have you been?” he asked.

“Good,” I answered as someone passing by gave me the thumbs-up for my performance. I smiled at them and then turned my attention back to Wesley.

“I know this is probably not a very good time to ask, but I was wondering if you had a date for the—”

“Keysha.” I turned around and saw Antonio approaching me with his mom and dad.

“Antonio,” I called out and hugged him.

“This is my mom, Leslie, and this is my dad, Ray.” I gave both of them a hug and thanked them for coming.

“You guys did a spectacular job,” said Antonio's father, who was clearly very proud of him.

“Before I forget, I want to ask you something,” Antonio said and took my hands into his.

“What?” I smiled at him so hard my cheeks ached.

“Will you go to prom with me?”

“Wait, what did he just ask you?” Wesley interrupted. I looked at Wesley and then back at Antonio. I hesitated because I felt sort of odd. But I wasn't about to let Wesley ruin my moment.