Declan (12 page)

I don’t know what happened last night, just that something big went down and they brought Cowboy back almost dead.

I know that Declan was involved. I just don’t know if he’s in the same state as Cowboy or not.

The pubs locked up tight when I arrive, and there’s no sign of Declan or his friends he said were staying over. I sit on the back step waiting, hoping.

A black van pulls into the yard and a group of guys jump out, patting each other on the back and congratulating each other. They go quiet when they see me.

I don’t see Declan; my heart halts as I search the camouflaged faces, seeking out those bright blue eyes. I can’t see them.

The passenger door of the van closes noisily; it’s the wrong side of the van for me to see who it is. I hold my breath as I wait to see who’s going to walk around it.

“Declan!” I screech, running towards him. I inspect him with my eyes, up and down his body. Fuck, he looks hot in the black overalls he’s wearing. Thankfully I can’t see any damage, although he’s covered in a mixture of blood, sweat and dust.

The guys look at Declan in surprise, especially when he dismisses them with a nod. “Later guys, debrief after breakfast.” They leave without a word. Who are these guys?

Declan places his hand on my arm and almost drags me along beside him to the back door of the pub.

“What are you doing here?” He asks between gritted teeth. It’s not the reaction I was hoping for, but it is the reaction I was expecting after our fight the other day.

“I needed to know you were okay.” I whisper.

“I told you to stay away, Holly.” He sighs. “You’re not safe around me.”

“I’m a grown woman, Declan.” I snap. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions, to choose the company I keep.”

I turn to face him, grabbing his head between my hands and pulling his face towards mine. I kiss him deeply. He resists for a moment and I think all is lost, and then he returns my kiss.

“Look at you, dirty boy.” I smirk as I take a step back. “I think we need to get you in the shower.”

Declan throws his head back and laughs. “Well, it would be rude not to.” He agrees.

After a hot and steamy reunion with Holly in the shower I joined the guys for breakfast. There were a few curious glances when Holly joined us.

“I’m pleased for you, Declan.” Cam pats me on the back when he sees Holly taking more food over to the others. “That girl has put the smile back on your face.” He grins.

He’s right. Holly has put the smile back on my face. Just a few months ago I didn’t think it would happen. I’m so grateful that I was wrong.

“She has, Cam. I’m just worried I’ll hurt her.” I confess.

“Why?” He queries. “The nightmares? Chris told me what happened at his place.”

“Yeah. What if I hurt her?” Chris looks thoughtful.

“You’ve gotten over the first obstacle mate by realising something is wrong. You can get help. The Army has doctors who specialise in this kind of thing.” Chris sits down at an empty table and gestures for me to sit beside him.

“I’ll make an appointment.” I promise him.

“So, are you staying here?” He looks around the empty bar. “You’ve done a great job with it.”

“I don’t know.” I tell him. “Part of me wants to, but if I stay then that’s admitting that there’s a chance of a relationship with Holly. The other part of me says to get the hell out of Severed and never see her again, for her own safety.”

Chris contemplates my words. “Only you can make that decision, Declan. I can’t make it for you. I think she makes you happy, I like the Declan I see when she’s around you, but only you know how you’re feeling inside.”

He’s right. I’m the only one who can make this decision, although right now I wish someone would make it for me.

“Hey, lover.” Holly calls, bringing fresh coffee over to our table. She sits herself on my knee and plants a kiss on my cheek.

“What’s that for?” I ask.

“I’m just glad you’re safe.” She grins.

Holly has such a simple way of looking at life. All she wants is for her friends and family to be happy and safe. I wish I could be more like her.

I look around the bar, filled with my friends and realise that for the first time in ages I do feel happy.

I just wish I didn’t also feel like a ticking time bomb.

Chris and the guys stayed in Severed for a couple of days and it was like old times. We drank, we partied, we played poker and I lost.

It’s been good to spend time with them. I’m going to miss them, but they’ve all got their own lives to lead away from here.

We’ve agreed that we’re not going to lose touch with each other, and re-avowed that if anyone needs help he only has to make a call and the others will be there to support him.

As we’re hoping that’s not going to happen we’ve also agreed to a meet up in Melbourne in a few months time.

It’s hard saying goodbye to Cam, as he’s still the one that I feel closest to. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in Severed.

“You do realise this is all your fault, Cam?” I tell him.

“What’s my fault?” He asks, fake hurt in his voice.

“That I’m here in Severed. I’d never have heard of the place if it wasn’t for you.”

“Ah.” He pats me on the back. “In that case I can also take credit for introducing you to Severed which means you met that hot girl of yours as well.” He smirks. He’s got me there. Living in Severed hasn’t been all bad.

“You decided what you’re doing yet?” He looks at the pub behind us. “You staying or going back to Harvey?”

Holly chooses that moment to walk up behind him to say goodbye. She hears the line about staying or going and the hurt in her face is clear when I can’t answer either of them. Holly gives Cam a hug goodbye, but doesn’t stay around.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know where I belong, or where I should go.

As the van drives off to take the guys back to the airport I return to my apartment in the pub.

Sue’s ring is sitting on the drainer in the kitchen. I’ve cleaned it up for her, but not had chance to return it yet.

I write a short note.

Sue, I understand that this belongs to you and I wanted to return it. I know how much this means to you. I hope it brings you some peace. Your friend Declan x
I seal the ring in an envelope with a note and ask one of the bar staff to drop it off for me on their way home after their shift.

I’ve tied up the last of the loose ends here in Severed, now I just need to decide if I’m staying or leaving.

This morning has been a whirlwind of emotions. I left Declan and his friends at the pub, my heart breaking at the thought that he could even consider leaving us.

I’m under no illusion that this is some great romance, but I did think that what we shared was special and deserved a chance to see where it leads. I guess I was mistaken, for him it was obviously nothing more than hot sex.

There was uproar when I returned. Teresa had gone into premature labour and I watched them deliver her baby on the clubhouse floor. Through her tears I managed to make out that it had been triggered when she heard that Prez had come out of his coma, he’s going to be okay.

The baby looks fine and I managed a quick cuddle before the paramedics took him and his mother off to the hospital to be checked out.

It’s nice to see something good happen at the club after all the heartache they’ve gone through recently. It looks like Cowboy has finally found someone as well. I’m so pleased for him and Lucy. He’s suffered so much, and held it all in.

That suffering reminds me of Declan. Lucy’s helping Cowboy get over his demons. I’m pretty sure if Declan gave me a chance I could help him get over his.

“Holly, you got a moment?” I turn to see Eve gesturing to me.

“Sure, Eve. What’s up?” She looks like she’s got a secret that she’s busting to tell. I love how enthusiastic Eve can get, I’m so happy that she’s part of the club. She’s good for everyone here.

Eve’s waving a piece of notepaper in front of me, teasing me with it.

“What’s that?” I try to look at it, but she won’t stop wafting it and I can’t see what’s written on it.

“Proof that you’ve found a good guy.” She giggles.

I’m confused and reach for the paper, but she holds it out of my reach.

“Eve!” I laugh. “Give it up or I’m going to have to take it by force.” I joke.

“That’s better.” She smiles, handing me the note. “I much prefer your happy face, you were looking far too serious there.” She walks off pleased that she’s achieved her goal.

I look at the paper in my hand, not quite understanding what it is. It’s a note from Declan to Sue. I’ve heard about this. He found her stolen ring for her and returned it.

Eve’s right. This is proof that I’ve found myself a good man. Now I just have to fight for him.

All the way over to the pub I’ve been second-guessing myself.

What if Declan really doesn’t want me? What will I do?

I pull the truck into the yard at the back of the pub and switch the engine off.

I’m about to get out when I spot Declan. He’s coming out of the back door of the pub with his arms full of luggage. I watch as he goes over to the bike and packs his bags into the pannier.

I’m too late. He’s made his decision and he’s leaving me.

I sit back in the drivers seat and close my eyes, willing the tears to stay away. I can do this. I’m stronger than this I tell myself even as I feel the track of a tear on my cheek.

There’s a tap on the drivers window and it startles me. It’s Declan. He’s standing there, looking serious. I wind the window down.

“Can we talk?” He asks.

I nod my head and wait for him to tell me that he’s leaving.

“Outside the truck would be better.” I nod my head and he opens the door for me, helping me step out. “Let’s go for a walk.”

Declan takes my arm and walks us past his packed up bike. I can’t bring myself to look at it. It hurts too much. We walk around the front of the pub and onto the main street without speaking.

“Holly, I…”

“Declan, I..” Our words cut each other off. After the silence we’ve both chosen the same time to speak.

“You first.” He tells me. Shit. I don’t want to go first.

I can’t look at Declan so I talk to the empty street in front of us.

“Look, Declan. I get it. You need to get away from here. I’d hoped that we might have a future together, but I understand. You’ve got to do what’s right for you.” I pause to draw in a deep breath. “Thank you for the time we’ve had together.”

I feel Declan’s hand grasp mine and he turns me to face him.

“Silly girl.” He whispers, reaching in and kissing me on the nose. “You’re my silly girl though.” He smiles. “I’m not leaving you, Holly.”

I look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“I’m not leaving you. I think there’s something between us and I want to see where it goes.” He leans in again to kiss me. “If that’s what you want?” He suddenly looks unsure.

“But, your bike?” I bluster. “You’re packing, you’re leaving.” I can’t seem to get the words out.

“Yes, I’m packing.” He smiles. “No, I’m not leaving. We’re leaving. Together.”

“I don’t understand?” I look around the empty street as if it will give me the answers. It doesn’t. I’m still none the wiser.

“I figured we needed a few days away from here. Just the two of us. I was packing for us.”

I’m still standing in the street, my mouth opening and closing like a fish, no words coming out.

“Holly, would you come on a romantic escape with me?” He invites me. “Just you, me and a cabin in the middle of nowhere for a few days?”

Will I? Fuck yes I will. I realise that I haven’t actually answered him. “I’d love to. Yes please. When? Where?” I’m still not making sense nor can I string together a complete sentence.

Declan explains he’s booked a cabin for us, and that with Eve’s help I’m all packed up and we’re going now. Just the two of us.

“There’s an awesome shower there as well, I checked. I’d love to share the shower with you.” He smirks before kissing me.

“Well it would be rude not to.” I reply before kissing him back.

I’ve made the right decision to stay with Holly. The past few days hidden away in our cabin has proved that.

We’ve finally shared the secrets that were haunting both of us, including my disastrous night with Georgia and my fear of hurting Holly. She took it pretty well.

I’m still having nightmares, but Holly seems able to bring me out of them by holding me and whispering to me. I’ve agreed to set up an appointment and get some treatment when we get home. I owe it to both of us.

I still won’t tell Holly what happened the night that Cowboy got hurt, but she seems to understand that I did what had to be done.

We’re optimistic about the future, and we know we’re definitely compatible together in bed. It’s worth pursuing that’s for sure.

Holly comes out of the bathroom in yet another skimpy little negligee, this one’s all black lace and transparent. I can see her hard nipples through the flimsy fabric. I must remember to send Eve a thank you gift for packing Holly’s bag for her.

Holly’s stalking her way across the room to me as though I’m the prey and she’s the predator. I do love it when my girl takes charge. My cock’s already hard and standing to attention awaiting her first command.

The trill of my phone breaks the quiet of the cabin and Holly pouts. “Don’t answer it, we’re busy.”

I make the mistake of glancing at the screen instead of looking at Holly. It’s Cam.

“I won’t be a minute, babe. Let me just answer Cam and we’ll get right back to it.” Holly pouts and comes to sit on the end of the bed.

“Hey, Cam. What’s up? You know your timing sucks big time right now?” I laugh.

“Declan.” Cam sounds serious. “You know when we said we’d be there for each other if needed? You meant it right?”

“Of course I did Cam. What’s wrong?” Holly looks up when she hears the concern in my voice.

“Declan, I need you.” Cam’s voice is cut off. I can hear shouting in the background and then the call cuts off, but not before I hear the sound of a gunshot.

What the fuck? I need to get to my friend now.