Declan (5 page)

Gran really chewed me out on the phone, and I deserved it. I’d promised her that I’d got my act together then fallen big time. It was only after she spoke to Cam and he assured her he’d take care of me for her that she calmed down, relenting on her threats of having me committed for my own good. She’s always had a soft spot for Cam. I’m grateful to my friend, as I’m damned sure my Gran would have followed through on her threat to have me admitted to hospital.

The route that Cam is thinking of is just over 3,000 kilometres. We could do it in a couple of days I guess if we rode hard, but we’ve decided to take it more slowly and appreciate it, probably taking the best part of a week to get to Severed instead. Being the awkward bugger that I am I suggest starting off further down the coast and that adds in another 1,000 kilometres. The bike needs it I tell myself. It’s more that I’ve missed the sea breezes and want to stay as close to the coast as I can for the journey.

The first day we’re heading down to Albany via Bridgetown and Manijmup. I might be pushing it with five hours on the bike after so much time away, but I reckon the route will more than make up for it. Of course, Cam will do his best to outdo me. We may be great friends, but we’re always competing against each other, one more push up, one more weight, one more kilometre before we quit.

We stop a couple of times en route for fuel be it for the bikes or our bodies, but early evening sees us cruising down the Princess Royal Harbour to our backpacker hotel for the night. The accommodation may be basic, but compared to the camp in Afghanistan it’s downright luxurious. We’re the oldest people in the place as it’s full of students.

As night falls we’re out on the deck listening to them jamming on guitars and a keyboard and enjoying a cold beer. My entire body aches from the ride, but it’s a good ache. It’s been great to be back out on the bike today. From where we’re sitting we can see the view across the harbour. The aqua marine ocean contrasting against the vivid colours of the flowers planted around the garden. For the first time since I came home from Afghanistan I feel peace. Cameron has his eye on a pretty young thing and it’s not long before the two of them have disappeared off to our room. Her friend keeps giving me her come on eyes, but I’m not interested. After what happened with Georgia I’m not sure I feel safe sleeping with anyone, and truth be told I’m not in the mood. I fall asleep in the chair listening to the strumming of some love song on the guitar, I think it might be Adele ‘Someone like you’, and for the first time in a long time, I sleep without nightmares.

Cam found me asleep on the chair in the early hours of the morning once his conquest had returned to her room. Rather than wake me he took the seat next to me and nodded off himself. We woke to the aroma of freshly made pancakes. Sleeping in the chair hasn’t made the aches any better, and I’ve got a crick in my neck, but I feel rested. I can’t remember the last time I woke feeling rested. Cam just gives me a nod as he eases his own aching body from his chair.

We’re riding to Gibson today, another five hour ride, but a little more inland. The arid earth is contrasted by the bright blue sky dotted with cotton wool clouds and the dark green of the few trees offering meagre shade at the side of the highway. Just before we enter Gibson we stop off at Observatory Point, the lush green bushes cling to the cliffside and draw your eyes down to the bay of teal blue water and the rocks below. It’s stunning views like this that are calming my troubled soul. We sit there a good half hour just enjoying the view before heading into Gibson where we’re spending the night at the Gibson Soak Hotel. It’s an historical country pub with cheap and cheerful accommodation and good food. Out back there’s a garden full of Morton Bay fig trees offering welcome shade from the heat of the day where we enjoy yet another cold beer.

There’s a much quieter vibe about this pub than the student accommodation last night, and that’s fine with me. I’m enjoying the peace and tranquillity for a change. Perhaps that’s what my body and mind craved, silence after the noise and madness of the past few months.

The third day sees us heading for Caiguna, much to Cam’s disgust, as the town isn’t licensed yet. The Roadhouse doesn’t have any of the atmosphere of the previous two places, it’s a 24 hour food and fuel stop for buses and coaches and has a more family feel. The noise from the children’s playground grates on my nerves and I have a bad night’s sleep here. This was a mistake.

The next day we agree we’ll push ourselves for eight hours to reach Ceduna and cross into Southern Australia. Last night did neither of us any favours. The good thing about todays route is that we’re back on the coastal road, so whilst we’re travelling further and longer, we’ve got an amazing view for most of the journey.

The East West motel in Ceduna has a swimming pool. The relief in my muscles when I enter the cool water is heaven after such a long day on the bike. We take the short walk down to the beach where we find a bar to spend the night and enjoy a good steak.

As usual Cameron picks up one of the tourists, this time heading off to her hotel, as it’s a little fancier than ours. They leave me to entertain her friend. I’m tired and achy despite my swim and not really in the mood for company, but a few beers and half a bottle of Jack Daniels finds us back at my hotel.

Clarice or Claire, I can’t remember her name right now, turns her nose up at the basic room. I can tell from the clothes she’s wearing that someone has money, probably Daddy I’m guessing. I reckon she’s slumming it with me to get one over on him for curbing her spending after her last credit card bill. I seem to recall something being said about this trip being a poor substitute for shopping in New York. Right now, I don’t care. Whatever her name is she’s got my cock hard, rubbing her long nails against me through the denim of my jeans. With one hand she makes easy work of my belt and the buttons of my jeans and reaches in to wrap her fingers around my hard length. She slithers down my body to her knees, pulling my cock from my boxers and pushing my jeans around my ankles. Her hot mouth takes me in and I groan with pleasure. I may not be able to recall her name, but whoever she is certainly knows how to give a blowjob. Her tongue laps at the end of my cock before trailing up and down my length. There’s a hint of teeth grazing my cock as she draws me in deeper, and her hand is pumping away at the part of me that doesn’t fit into her tiny mouth. I know I’m tired, but suddenly the sight of her on her knees in front of me just feels cheap and tacky. There’s nothing erotic about this whole scene, from the cheap motel room to the fake tits that are bouncing around under her skimpy top and the dark roots in her overly blonde hair. I pull away suddenly.

“What the fuck?” She complains, rising to her feet.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t.” I turn my back on her and sink onto the bed.

“Fucking wimp.” She screeches as she grabs her bag and slams out of the room. I sink back onto the bed, relief washing over me. I feel like I had a narrow escape, but why the fuck did I turn her down? What’s wrong with me?

I’ve kind of lost track of the days here; I try and mentally count on my fingers and think we’re on day five of our journey. I had a troubled night’s sleep again after rejecting the blonde whose name I can’t remember. Cameron crawled back in the early hours of the morning with a smug grin on his face and smelling of cheap perfume. Good for him. What’s wrong with me that I don’t want that anymore?

We look at the map and contemplate doing the final run through to Severed today, but it’s a ten-hour slog and we’re both starting to feel the wear of long days on the road so agree to stop off in Port Pirie overnight. Cam had been open about when we’d arrive in Severed and that was fine with his friend.

I missed moving away from the coastal road, but at least Port Pirie was on the river. It’s a very industrial town though thankfully the motor inn we’ve booked for the night is quiet despite being on the highway. It’s a comfortable bed and I fall asleep quickly, although I’m dragged awake by Cam after suffering yet another nightmare.

The journey has helped, most nights I’m exhausted and sleep right through, but a few nights he’s had to wake me from nightmares. Luckily I haven’t tried to hurt him when he’s woken me; I’m still haunted by almost strangling Georgia that night.

With the end of our journey in sight we don’t waste time, grabbing a quick breakfast and coffee and stuffing the panniers with sandwiches for lunch before heading off for our final journey into Severed.

For someone who wanted to stay on the coast there’s something about Severed that I find soothing. It’s a small town with a simple high street that has a coffee shop, a general store and even a tattoo shop. Cam’s friend runs the local bar and that’s where we’re going to be staying.

The edges of the wide streets are shaded and cool from the old buildings on either side, and every so often there’s a large tree offering more shade. The people seem friendly enough from what I can see. There’s nothing here that reminds me of Afghanistan and that’s good.

It looks even smaller than Harvey; perhaps that’s why I feel comfortable here. The bar has seen better days, but the beer is cold and the conversation is plentiful. Jim welcomes Cam warmly, wrapping him in a bear hug.

“I’ve known Cam since he was a wee baby sucking on his mothers tit.” Jim chuckles. Cam goes three shades of red at that, making me laugh out loud at his discomfort. I think I’m going to get on well with Jim.

The place has a worn dance floor, a dining area and booths along one wall. The wooden bar has seen better days, the varnish long since worn away showing ring marks from bottles and glasses. I imagine this was a classy joint when it first opened, but that looks to have been quite a few years ago now.

Jim tells us that it’s pretty quiet most of the time, although they’ve had a few incidents over the past year between a couple of local MC clubs. “Don’t get me wrong, the Severed guys are a good bunch, real family values, but there was a bad apple over at Carnal who gave them a hard time.” He sighs, remembering. “We lost a few good people this past year. Damn shame.” He looks thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “But it’s over and done with now, we’re looking forward to getting back to normal.”

“Normal sounds good to me, I’m not sure if I can remember what it feels like though.” I laugh. Jim gives me a long look.

“You don’t have to tell me, son. I’ve been there myself.” I know very little about Jim, other than he served in the military with Cam’s Dad. I can see that despite his friendly demeanour something still haunts him. Will that be me in thirty years? I hope not.

Jim shows us up to our rooms. It’s basic, but spotlessly clean, although the shower could do with a little more oomph to it. Still, the slow trickle of warm water helps me rid the road dust from my weary body. I lie down on the bed while Cam has his shower and find myself being gently shaken awake by him. The rooms dark now, I must have fallen asleep.

“I didn’t want to let you sleep any later mate, thought you could do with something to eat.” Cam offers. I sit up groggily and reach for my watch. I’ve been asleep for several hours. I’m still tired, but not as tired as I was, and I realise it was dreamless sleep as well.

“What’s on offer?” I question Cam.

“Steak, burger, barbecue?” He offers me a meat lover’s selection.

“Good job I’m not a vegetarian.” I laugh. “I’ll take a steak I reckon.”

The dining area is quiet, it’s midweek and only a few drinkers are in the bar, pretty much keeping to themselves. The food is excellent, much better than I’d have expected for a small town like this. Jim leaves us to our meal while he serves at the bar.

“What’s the story?” I ask Cam. He sees me watching Jim. “He’s an old buddy of my Dad’s and I think he needs help, but doesn’t want to ask for it.” He tells me. “He called me the other week and asked if I’d like to come for a visit and a catch up. I’ve not been out here for years, but there was something in his voice. I can’t put my finger on it, but I felt like I needed to come see him, make sure he was okay.” Cam watches the old man with affection. There’s obviously some good history between them.

“He did say the town had been through a rough patch lately, do you think that’s it?” I look down at my plate to find it’s empty. I’ve devoured the whole thing. Looks like I got my appetite back as well.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s that. I reckon if we stay around for a few days he’ll let me know what’s wrong. We can see if there’s anything we can do to help him.” Cam always seems to be the one who fixes things for people. He’s probably the most sensitive of us all, often making things right before the rest of us have even twigged that they were wrong.

We chat about the town over dessert, home made apple pie and ice cream, it’s almost as good as my Gran’s. I can see I’m going to have to keep an eye on my weight whilst I’m here. Talk turns to the tattoo shop and Cam asks if I’m planning on any more ink.

“Not yet, I’ll get a piece to remember Max by, but not sure what I want yet.” The thing with ink and me is that I’ll spend forever deciding what I want, but once I have I get it done almost straight away. The design is important to me; I need to make sure it’s just right. It means that I have less ink than the rest of the guys, especially Max, he was always the first to go get a new tattoo when we’d been out drinking heavily.

“You think about Max?” Cam asks quietly. “I still don’t get why he did it.” There’s hurt in Cam’s voice. It’s a hurt we all feel. To have been so close to someone like we were with Max, for him then to turn us all away when we wanted to help. We’re all struggling to come to terms with it.

“Yeah. I just wish there was something we could have done. If we’d pushed to go see him sooner…” My voice falls away. We can all wish as much as we like, but it isn’t going to change anything. It won’t bring Max back. It won’t make us whole again.

Before we can get any more maudlin Jim comes over to clear the table. “You not got some pretty young thing to help you out Jim?” Cam teases. Jim’s face falls. Cam obviously hit a nerve.

“I had.” He pauses, wistfully. “Danni, lovely young girl. She got caught up in the trouble, must be three months now since we buried her and her man.” Jim seems to give himself a shake. “Enough sad talk, what are you guys drinking? I want to catch up on all your shenanigans young Cam.” He ends on a laugh.

I’m not sure we’re ready to talk about our shenanigans either, but Jim joins us with a bottle of Jack Daniels and we spend the rest of the evening reminiscing over Cam’s childhood escapades and misadventures on his trips to Severed.