Deeply Destructive (Addicted To You, Book Four) (3 page)

“That’s what this is about? You’re teaching me something?”

A moment later, the starting gun fired and the horses exploded from their gates, hooves pounding on the track, kicking up clumps of dirt as they raced.

“Shit, Happy Wanderer came out slow,” Jansen said.

The eight horse was already four back going into the first turn. “She’ll be lucky to even show,” I told him.

He glanced at me. “You’re a smart kid, JB. Maybe too smart for your own good.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

He looked down at his feet. “Maybe I can’t teach you anything about horse racing that you don’t already know. But what do you know about greyhounds?”

“Not much. My dad hated going to the dog track. He said there was no skill in betting on dogs.”

“Maybe he was right,” Jansen said. “And maybe that has to do with how they treat the animals.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Greyhounds are treated terribly and they race them into the ground. Within a few years or less, they become financially worthless and the owners put them down.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, it is. And you know, in MMA right now, there are a lot of organizations and training teams that treat their fighters like greyhounds. Or worse.”

I looked at him, still unsure of his point. “And?”

“And,” he said, finally looking me in the eye, “I won’t do that to you.”

“Thanks. I mean, I appreciate that, but I don’t know why we came here—”

“I’m not giving you the fight next month.” He said it so fast that I almost couldn’t process it.

The crowd erupted as the horses came down the stretch, with Happy Wanderer coming in sixth. People around us threw tickets on the ground, cursing luck and fate as they dispersed to bet on the next race.

I shut my eyes and tried to calm my suddenly fast beating heart. “You’re not giving me the fight?” I opened my eyes and looked at him again. “Because of that little scuffle between me and Uriah?”

“No,” he said. “At least, that’s not the main reason. I just don’t think you’re ready yet to go to the UFF. Physically, you’re great, but you need more time to get emotionally ready.”

“You’re taking away my shot?” I frowned, as if not believing the words when they left my mouth.

“I can’t do something that I think would harm your career in the long run. I’ve given it a lot of thought, JB.”

“Drew Ellis wants me to sign the deal. He told me so himself.”

“But after meeting you, he was worried. He told me you seemed like a loose cannon.”

“Like there aren’t any loose cannons in the UFF right now?” I scoffed. “It’s not the chess club. We get in a cage and beat the shit out of each other.”

“I know that,” Coach said, his voice rising to match mine. “But you could be great—a champion—if you’re developed and coached properly. Not every fighter has your potential, JB. If you were just some average kid who would be lucky to squeak out a couple of wins as a pro, I’d walk you over to Drew’s office right now and have you sign on the dotted line. But you’re not average. You’ve got special talent.”

“So special that you’re taking something away from me that means everything.” I stood up. “You brought me here to try and prove a point, but you’ve got no point.”

“I’m your coach,” he said, his eyes growing intense, as he stood up to face me.

“And I’m trying to protect you, but you’re too goddamn stubborn and stupid to realize it.”

“I’m stupid?” I spit the words out, wanting to slap him hard, just to show him I could. Then the feeling passed and I relaxed a tiny bit. “That’s funny. I thought you said I was too smart for my own good.” I turned and started to walk away.

“Get back here, JB. I’m not done talking to you.”

I turned around, smiling a little, but my stomach was burning with hate. “I have nothing left to say. Oh, yeah, except this. I quit.”

I never looked back after that.

***

I’m not sure how long I wandered the streets near the racetrack, my mind a blank.

I walked and walked, feeling numb and shocked and then a dull anger started to pulse in my stomach, like I’d swallowed a hot coal that was just sitting and burning inside me.

Eventually, I found myself in front of the AMC Movie Theatre. I wasn’t even sure how I ended up there, but I suddenly realized that I wanted to go inside. I wanted to sit in the darkness with the flickering light from the projector and the big screen and nothing to do.

And then I realized something else.

I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text.

Want to come see a movie with me?

I just hoped that she wasn’t busy with schoolwork or something.

Finally, about a minute later, she responded.
Tonight?

I typed back.
No. Today. Come now.

Fine. I guess I’m just your beck and call girl. ;)
Grinning at Lindsay’s last response, I texted the address to her and told her I’d be waiting out front.

I went and purchased two tickets to some Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Gossling movie that was starting in the next five minutes. We’d probably miss the beginning, but everything else was starting an hour from now, or had already been running for too long.

After getting the tickets, I sat on a bench and watched the pedestrians and cars going by me, trying my best not to dwell on the fact that everything I’d been working toward for the last few years of my life had so quickly come crumbling down around me.

What had I done to cause Coach Jansen to change his mind about giving me a shot to fight in the UFF? Nothing. He’d even admitted that the little skirmish with Uriah hadn’t been the cause of his hesitation. He’d just pulled the rug out from underneath me for no good reason.

It wasn’t fair. This was my life he was playing with. After all, who knew if I’d ever get another chance to sign a deal?

A little while later, I saw Lindsay walking toward me. Instantly, I felt a million times better. She was wearing a pair of shorts that rode low on her hips and one of those little Pink t-shirts that seemed to push her tits out as if she was daring me to stare. And I did stare a little bit, because I was thinking about dragging her inside the first cab and heading back to my apartment so I could do the dirtiest things imaginable to her.

“Hey,” she said. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

I forced my eyes away from her chest. And then my eyes went to those hips again…and why was it that I was almost certain her hips could work overtime if we got in the right (or wrong) situation together?

She’s off-limits. OFF-LIMITS.

“I’m just having a really weird day,” I said, trying to snap myself back to reality and away from my twisted thoughts.

“What’s so weird about your day?” she asked me.

“We don’t have time for long explanations,” I said, taking her hand. “Let’s get in the theater, the movie’s already started.”

We gave our tickets to the attendant and then I was walking quickly toward theatre nine, still holding Lindsay’s hand. She was laughing as I pulled her along.

“You’re going too fast, Justin!”

“Come on, they’re going to lock us out!” I said, pretending to panic.

“No they’re not. Besides, I want to get soda and something to eat.”

I stopped. “Are you serious? We’re late.”

“I don’t care. Movies aren’t fun without snacks.” She made a sad face.

“Stop being so damn cute,” I told her, and then walked to the concessions stand with her.

The teenage girl at the counter looked expectantly at us. “Can I help you?”

I looked at Lindsay. “You’re the snack connoisseur,” I said. “Tell her what you want. It’s on me.”

“You don’t have to pay,” Lindsay said. “I brought money.”

“But I want to.”

“Are you trying to buy my affections?”

“Not at all. I’m trying to speed this up so we can get into the movie before we miss the whole thing. So tell the nice young lady what you want.”

“Hmmmm….” She was wearing flip-flops and she dropped one off her foot and then crossed her top foot over the bottom one as she thought about what she wanted. “A small Diet Coke and a medium popcorn.”

The girl went and got the order ready and I paid for it.

I took the popcorn bag and Lindsay carried her soda. We went into our theatre and I led her over to a nice cozy row of seats in the far back corner. The two of us sat down next to each other.

It was hard to focus on the movie, because Lindsay was right next to me, and our legs were touching. We shared the popcorn and my hand kept touching hers as we reached for the bag. It wasn’t always an accident on my part, either.

After a little while, she started whispering questions at me. “Why did you say you were having a weird day?” Her breath tickled my ear as she spoke, and it was getting me even more turned on than I already was.

I shrugged.

“Come on, I want to know. Please.” She whispered again, drawing out the word please, and grabbing my hand as she said it.

Finally, I leaned over. “Come on, we can’t talk in here.”

“Where are we going?”

“Just follow me,” I instructed, and then I ran out of the dark theater. She caught up to me in the hallway.

“Justin, what the hell?”

“Look, I’m pretty sure one of these theatres is empty right now. Let’s sneak into it and talk where nobody can hear us.”

“That’s illegal.”

I laughed again. “I don’t think they’re going to come and arrest us for sneaking into an empty theatre.”

“No way.” She shook her head. “Let’s just go back inside the movie we paid to see.”

“No, that movie sucks.” I grabbed her hand again, tugging her toward me. “Trust me, Lindsay.”

She took a deep breath and bit her lip.

“Come on,” I teased. “You know you’re curious. You’re dying to live life on the edge.”

She rolled her eyes. “Hardly.”

Still, she let me drag her into the first empty theatre I could find. It was actually still dark because the credits from the last movie were rolling, but everyone had already left. We went all the way to the back and sat down together.

In the darkness, I could make out her t-shirt and the way her breasts were barely concealed beneath the tight fabric. It made me crazy that she’d worn such a tight-fitting shirt. I’d already known she had a sexy body, but now she was actively flaunting it and I was struggling to remember why I’d decided to just be friends with this girl.

“Are you still nervous?” I asked.

She nodded. “Of course! What if someone comes in?”

“We’ll just duck down and hope they don’t come all the way back here. Or call the police.”

Her eyes widened in alarm.

“I’m just kidding.” I took her hands in mine. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.

Anyway, the worst thing they would do is kick us out. And if that happens, we’ll just go outside and talk.”

I rubbed her hands softly as I spoke and I felt her relax. Her skin was soft and smooth. I liked holding her hands in mine, and I liked making her feel good. “I had to quit working with my MMA coach today,” I said nonchalantly, as my fingers continued to stroke her palms.

She looked startled. “You quit fighting?”

“No, I didn’t quit fighting. But I did sort of quit going to my gym and basically fired my trainer. Or maybe he fired me—I’m not totally sure.”

“What happened?”

I told her the basic story, and all the while, I kept massaging her hands. It was interesting, because on one level, I was completely turned on. And I got the feeling that I was definitely turning her on, too. But neither of us said anything about the fact that I was giving her this seductive hand rub. We just kept discussing my coaching issues.

I could hardly focus on the conversation, because all I could do was imagine myself kissing those soft lips of hers, and then down her neck, feeling those tits as I took off her bra…

“…doing what he did,” she said. “Don’t you think?”

“Huh?” I asked, truly confused about what she’d been saying.

“I said, he must have had a good reason for doing what he did. I mean, he’s your coach, he wants you to succeed. It’s his job.”

“Coach Jansen is weird, though. A lot of people say that he tries too hard to be more than a coach or a trainer should be. He’s trying to be everyone’s father, their psychiatrist, their priest. He’s never just a coach, and he tries to make it all about his system and his gym and his way of doing things.”

“Do you think it’s true? Is that why he tried to take away your contract?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just know that I was already turning down offers from other gyms and smaller organizations last year, because I wanted to keep working with Coach Jansen.”

“Well, maybe this is a good thing, then. Maybe you need to go on the market and see what you’re worth.”

“Go on the market? Like I’m dating or something?”

“Sort of. Get out there and see who else wants to work with you. I bet anyone would love to have you at their gym.”

I sat back, thinking for the first time that maybe what had happened today wasn’t such a bad thing after all. It was true that I’d been loyal to Coach Jansen in the past, when other gyms with bigger teams had approached me. I’d always had this nagging doubt in the back of my mind, though, like maybe I was holding myself back when I should have been going for it. Was I scared to go to a competitive gym with a bunch of really successful pros, because then I wouldn’t be the big man on campus anymore?

“Sorry,” she said. “Did I just make no sense whatsoever?”

“No, you made way too much sense.”

The lights came up, and the curtain shut on the screen in front.

We looked at one another, both of us seeming to feel a little strange now that the lights were so bright. She still looked totally hot, though. Her hair was mostly over one shoulder and she was looking at me with a small half-smile. And those lips…I needed to stop focusing so much on how sexy she was and think about something else.

I took her hand again. “What about you?” I asked.

She looked at me. “What about me?”

“You know everything about what I’m trying to do. You know I want to fight for a living. What’s your story? What do you want to do with your life?”