Defining Us: The Calvin & Eric Story (69 Bottles) (37 page)

I still haven’t put my headphones in while I listen to him get himself situated on his bunk. Then I feel him tug down on the monitor that folds up and hear him shift, settling in. That’s when I see his hand come up. I smile and take his hand in mine. I lean over and kiss his knuckles and squeeze.
 

At some point, I fell asleep with my hand in his.

“Hey man,” Kyle says quietly to me as I’m standing at the stove, eggs cooking in one pan, bacon in the other and I’m waiting for the griddle to heat up for pancakes.
 

“Hey.”
 

“You making enough for everyone?” he asks.
 

I look at him. “Yes, why wouldn’t I?”
 

He shrugs. “Just checking. Saves me from making breakfast.” He chuckles. “What can I help with?”
 

I nod in the direction of the pitcher of pancake batter; he gets the hint and moves around me to start pouring drops onto the griddle.
 

“How you been?” he asks. I’m not sure if he’s probing for information or just conversation.
 

“Not bad, you?”
 

He sighs that ‘I’m head over heels in love and nothing else matters’ kind of sigh. “I’m great. Tired, but great.”
 

“I didn’t hear Addison this morning.”
 

“Nah, I think she’s finally moving past that phase, though she won’t eat that bacon.”
 

“Oh shit, I forgot. There’s sausage in the fridge. Wanna pull some out? I’ll cook it for her.”
 

“Sure,” he says as he fills the last two spots on the griddle and sets the pitcher down for the fridge.
 

“Can I ask you something?” I say in an uncharacteristic way for me.
 

“Anything,” he tells me as he shuts the fridge door and hands me the package of sausage. I rip it open and throw a few links in next to the bacon.
 

“How’d you know, with Talon, that you wanted to…” I can’t really finish my question, embarrassment floods through me, both for the question I ask and for the fact that I’m bringing it up with Kyle.
 

He just shrugs. “I don’t know that I consciously knew anything, man, it was just something that felt right, it felt natural, like if I didn’t do it, per se, I’d be missing out. It just came naturally for both of us, but I think a part of that has to do with Addison too. If she hadn’t been there, encouraging us, I’m not sure we would have, well, you know.” He starts fidgeting around with the pancakes, looking for something to occupy himself. “I honestly never really thought about him like that. Sure, I thought he was attractive, but…I don’t know.”
 

“Did you ever think about other guys before him?”
 

He blushes a little. “Yeah, I did. It wasn’t a new thing for me, but it wasn’t something I acted on.”
 

“Why not?”
 

 
“I guess I just never thought about it. Girls have always been easier I guess. Not that I wouldn’t have tried, with the right guy of course.” He shrugs and starts to flip pancakes. “Why do you ask?”
 

Now it’s my turn to shrug and flip around some eggs and bacon. “I guess I was just curious about how other people handled their emotions when it comes to members of the same sex. Everyone is different, so I guess I thought I would see what your thoughts were.”

He leans in closer to me, lowering his voice. “Honestly, if it wasn’t for the two of them, I wouldn’t be with another guy. It’s not something I can see myself living with for the rest of my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t condone others who would. It’s just not for me. I think I’m too stubborn for that.” He chuckles slightly before backing away from me.
 

Just in time too. “Morning, boys,” Raine says from behind us. Crap, how long has she been there?
 

“Morning, Raine,” I say before grabbing a plate. “You want some of everything?” I ask her.
 

“What’s everything?” she says as she comes to stand opposite me, looking over what’s cooking. “Yeah, definitely.”
 

I don’t know where Kyle goes, but he disappears from my other side.
 

Raine leans in close, lowering her voice. “Your secret is safe with me,” she says before snagging a hunk of egg I flipped out of the pan and tossing it in her mouth.
 

“How?”
 

“I saw him go in, someone was already in, I knew it couldn’t be anyone else in the shower.”
 

“You didn’t tell him, did you?” I look at her, concerned.
 

She shakes her head. “No. It’s between you and me. I just told the crew that we were good to go.”

“Thanks,” I whisper back.
 

Her hand rubs along my back in a comforting way. “I’m totally here, if you want to talk.”
 

“Thanks, but I’m good.”
 

“Since when did you become all domestic and shit?” Dex asks as he lumbers down the hall toward us.
 

I roll my eyes and retort, “Shut the fuck up, Dex.” I hand Raine her plate and she winks at me before walking over to Dex. I watch as she leans up and kisses him on the cheek.
 

He tries to take her plate and she pulls it back. “Get your own.” She pokes him and he growls at her. I roll my eyes and shake my head, grabbing another plate and tossing some of everything on it.
 

“Here,” I tell Dex as I hand him a plate.
 

“Thank you,” he says, taking it from me.
 

I go back to making breakfast. Tossing the griddle of pancakes onto a plate and setting it on one of the tables, Kyle comes from the back of the bus and throws on some more batter before making himself a plate, or maybe Addison? He sets it down on the table opposite Dex and Raine. I mentally shrug it off and go back to adding some more bacon and sausage to the pan and then cleaning off the eggs into a bowl and putting it on the table.
 

Eventually Talon and Addison emerge from the back bedroom. Addison looks like she’s literally crawled out of bed and walked up here. I shake my head, but she smiles at me before sitting down and diving into breakfast. The only person missing in this equation is Cal, who obviously must still be sleeping with headphones in, but this lot should have woken him up by now.
 

I turn off the burners and the griddle, refilling the bowls and plates on the table before making Calvin a plate and then myself. When I’m done, I take it over to the racks and I knock on his bunk. He doesn’t emerge, weird. I slide the curtain back and sure enough, he’s still sound asleep. I want to kiss him awake but there is way too much of an audience so I close the curtain and put his plate in the microwave before standing against the sink eating my own.
 

Everyone is chatting, bantering, having a good time and I suddenly miss Calvin and wish he was awake with us right now.
 

“We were in Vegas.”
 

“No shit?” Kyle says to Dex.
 

“Yeah, we went and saw Derek and Dacotah, remember from Cami’s party?” Dex asks him.
 

“Oh yeah, wait, how’d you get hooked up with them?” Kyle asks.
 

“They came to the North Carolina show, remember?” Dex says, though there seems to be a little jab at Raine thrown in there. That was the night that jealousy got the better of her too and she’d stormed out. I look over at Calvin’s rack. It seems like jealous tantrums are a requirement for this lot. I can see Raine grow a little uncomfortable about that topic of discussion.
 

“Oh yeah,” Talon says.
 

“We’d swapped numbers, talked about some shit and they came over to Nashville and we went out to dinner,” Dex says and Raine blushes. Uh huh, dinner, sure, I think and mentally shake my head. “Anyway, we became friends, Raine and Cotah too for that matter, and they invited us to Vegas, so we went.”
 

“Nice,” Talon and Kyle say together.
 

Calvin finally manages to stumble out, or fall out of his rack. “Grace,” Dex chides.
 

“Fuck you, I’m not used to being on top.” I turn beet red and turn around, hiding my redness from everyone.
 

“That’s what he said,” Dex teases him back and I roll my eyes. Fucker will never quit will he?
 

“Stuff it, fucker,” Calvin slams back. Our eyes meet and I give him a small smile before he ducks into the bathroom.

DOWNSIDE to being on the bus? No privacy.
 

After everyone finished breakfast, we all kind of hung out in the galley area talking about this, that and the other stuff. Nothing too important, but still worthy of conversation. Somewhere in Oregon, we stopped, swapped out drivers and got a chance to get out and stretch off of the bus.
 

Eric and I grabbed our gear and set up shop in the galley after lowering the tables. Talon joined us and we jammed for some time. Pulling up some new stuff, and then playing around with some of the old. We were all desperate to play something new but while we wanted to, Kyle couldn’t get permission from the label. They’re sticklers for putting something out there that they can’t guarantee to make the next album and considering we’ve written most of it while on the road, no one besides Kyle has heard any of it.
 

Dex joined us for posterity purposes. The accident in New York destroyed his electric set, so him playing with us was impossible. He was supposed to replace it over the break but from the conversation I overheard earlier, they were in Vegas for the week. I didn’t catch how they’d ended up there, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that whatever happened there changed him and Raine, in a good way.
 

After a while, we all kind of gave up playing, all except for Eric. He was strumming away in his own little world, not playing anything we’ve ever played before, but it quickly caught the attention of Talon, who has an uncanny ability to hear music and match it with his own. I watch Eric play as Talon watches intently. I can see his fingers moving like he’s playing his own guitar.
 

When Eric finishes, I’m stuck stupid and can only sit there and stare at him. “Play it again,” Talon tells him.
 

“What?” He’s looking at me, then finally pulls his eyes away from me to Talon. “Why?”
 

“Because I like it. Do it again.”
 

Eric chuckles and goes back to playing. Remember this is a bass line, no drums, no guitar, no nothing and then Talon grabs his guitar and settles in, listening closely to Eric play. Talon cuts in, strumming his guitar and it’s in perfect harmony to the bass. The song is bass heavy, letting the darker tone take flight over the higher wail of the guitar. Talon is playing primarily on the top strings and in the lower register. The song is heavy, but dark. It’s almost as if it’s telling a story.
 

A story that starts off sad, confused, afraid. As the song progresses, Talon quickly picks up on the lighter feel of what Eric’s playing and gradually his notes get higher, more ‘happy’, and that’s when I hear it. My eyes dart to Eric’s to find he’s looking at me, trying to impress upon me the meaning behind the song. The lyrics start to come to me, the story unraveling before my own eyes. It’s my story.