Defying Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC Series Book 3) (13 page)

I’m not upset that she’s asking these questions, because to be honest, I’ve thought about it too. But I haven’t been able to put my finger on what it is I want out of this.

“Do we have to classify it?” I’m not trying to brush her off or hurt her feelings. I just honestly have no idea what we are or what I want. Come to think of it, I don’t even know what
she
wants.

“What is it you want out of this, babe?” I ask. Maybe if she lets me in on what she’s thinking, it will help me. But I honestly don’t think we need to classify anything. We are what we are, and as long as we are both happy and willing, I don’t think it should matter.

Harlow is quiet for a long moment, really thinking about what I said and what I asked. Then, she turns to me with a small smile on her face. It’s not sad, it’s content.

“No, Louie. We don’t have to classify what we are or what we are doing here. I just didn’t know how you felt, but honestly, I don’t know what I want out of this either. I
can
tell you that I’m happy and enjoy spending time with you. And I also think the sex is awesome. So if you are okay not putting a title on what we are, then I am too,” she answers and it leaves me with a huge smile on my face. Maybe I shouldn’t feel triumphant, but I do. I feel like I’m on top of the world right now, and it’s all because of her. Maybe that should tell me something, but for now I’m going to leave things be.

Chapter 12

Harlow

I feel better after my talk with Louie. Some may think that nothing was accomplished and the outcome wasn’t good, but I’m not most people. What I got out of it was that he cares about me. That he’s happy with me, even if it’s not
classified
. And I’m happy too. Nobody else needs to understand. We are what we are, and that’s fine with me.

Louie’s lying in bed, talking on the phone. It’s someone at the club, I’m sure of it, but I don’t know who or what they’re talking about. Louie’s voice is quiet, but I’m not concerned. If it’s club business, it’s not
my
business. And if it’s something that I need to be worried about or involved in, he’ll tell me. I trust him.

Instead of staying in the room, I decide to give him his privacy.

Heading out into the kitchen, I start the coffee, but barely get the coffee grounds into the filter when Louie’s yelling from the bedroom. “Harlow! Get your ass in here!”

I have no idea what jumped up his ass all of a sudden, but he doesn’t sound angry at least. Finishing with the coffee, I decide he can wait a few seconds. Once I have the coffee pot on and it starts brewing, I pad back into the bedroom. He has a serious look on his face, but I know it’s just for show.

“Yes?” I ask in a sweet voice and bat my eyelashes. It has the desired affect because he cracks a smile seconds before bursting out laughing.

When he settles down, he pats the bed. “Come here, babe.”

Not moving, I cross my arms. “What for?”

“Because I’m not ready to share you with the world yet,” he says this simply, like it’s obvious.

I still haven’t moved when his voice turns mocking, but with a deadly edge to it—a sexy edge. “Don’t make me come get you, woman.”

Finally, I move forward but stop at the side of the bed. I don’t make a move to join him, wanting to see what he does.

I don’t have to wait long. His hands strike out fast like a cobra, winding around my waist, pulling me into bed with him. Before I know it, his body covers mine and his lips come crashing down in a brutal kiss.

Louie thrusts against me, rubbing his hard bare cock against the outside of my panties, which causes me to wince. I’m sore.

Fuck, that sucks, but I guess I should have seen that coming. I lost my virginity to Louie two years ago, then went the whole time I was away without sex. Then I come back and after I finally let him back in, we’re having sex.
Lots
of good sex. I mean, we aren’t fucking like crazy by any means, but I’ve had more sex in the last two weeks than I have in my whole life. I’m gonna be sore.

Pulling my mouth free, I lift my hand and place it on his chest. “What’s wrong?” he asks, concern lacing his face and tone, though I still see the lust and want in his eyes.

“I’m a little sore,” I say shyly, a little embarrassed, but if we’re going to have a sexual relationship, I can’t hold anything back. And frankly, if I can talk dirty to him during the act and not feel embarrassed, I should be able to talk to him about things like this. It’s normal I would be sore. Not only from not having a lot of sex in my life, but Louie isn’t small by any means. Though I guess I don’t have much to go off of, but I’ve seen pictures and porn before. And he’s a lot bigger than what I’ve seen before.

He pulls back even further and looks a little lost and ashamed of himself for not going easy on me, or I don’t know, thinking of it sooner. “It’s fine. I’m okay, but I think maybe we should wait a bit before going at it again like wild animals.” I try to smooth things over, but now I’m worried he’ll be upset. Here he is, hard as a fucking rock, and I’m turning him down. Well, I’m turning him down for
sex
. But that doesn’t mean—

“I’m such a fucking idiot. Harlow, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking these last couple of times. I’m sorry,” he says, and I hate that he’s upset. He hasn’t hurt me in any way and I loved everything we did together.

“Hey, it’s fine, really. It’s just, it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex. I just need to get used to it.” I add a wink to let him know that I want to have more sex with him, and soon, just not right now.

He still doesn’t look convinced he didn’t do anything wrong, but I’m done trying to explain it. Pushing him over so he’s on his back, I straddle his waist.

“Just because I’m sore, doesn’t mean we can’t do other things, Louie,” I say, then I lean down and start to kiss his neck. I slowly move down to his chest and by the time I’m at his bellybutton, he finally catches my drift.

“Babe, no. You don’t have to do that. We can wait until you can enjoy yourself too.” It’s sweet of him to say that, but what he
doesn’t
know is that I’ve always wanted to give him a blowjob.

When I first met him, I fantasized about it and the things I would do to him. The things I wanted to try. I even researched it and what men liked. So doing this for him now will be very enjoyable for me.

“I want to.
And
I’ll enjoy it.” I don’t say anything else and move my mouth as quick as I can to his cock before he can argue the matter further.

He’s not as hard as he was a few minutes ago, but he’s still harder than what I’d imagine him being if he was limp.

The instant I have him in my mouth though, it’s like an electric current runs through his cock and he’s harder than ever before.

“Fuck,” he moans.

I’m not able to take him completely in, but I add my hand at the base of him to make up for what my mouth can’t fit.

Sliding my hand up and down, adding a few twists, I get into a rhythm. I lick the head of his cock before taking him as far as I can. Adding some suction, I then repeat the process. I take my other hand and massage his balls to add more stimulation.

Just as I’m starting to get into it and really enjoy myself though, I feel his balls tighten and his cock starts twitching before it goes even harder than it was when I started. I know he’s about ready to cum, but I’m not ready for this to end. Not yet.

Slowing the movement of my mouth and the hand that’s around his cock, I remove my other hand from his balls. Reaching up to my hair, I take out the hair tie I’m wearing so my hair falls down around me, all over his thighs. Louie either doesn’t notice or he’s so far gone in his pleasure because he doesn’t act like he even cares or asks what I’m doing.
Good
. I want the element of surprise for what I’m about to do.

Without warning, I take the hair tie and wrap it around his balls. “
Shit
! What the fuck, Harlow?” Louie jumps a little, but I use both hands now to hold him down by his hips. If he really wanted to, he could get out from under me, but he doesn’t. He’s shocked, and might be a little uncomfortable, but he’ll like what I’m doing in just a minute.

Once I know he’s not going anywhere, I move one hand from his hips and tie the band tighter around his balls, but not too tight. Then I pick up my speed a little, sucking harder on his cock.

“Oh
fuck
,” he moans, then the rest is a garbled mess of words.

Adding my hand back into the mix, I stroke him faster. “Harlow…” he says, trailing off.

Unwilling to stop what I’m doing to ask him what it is he wants or was going to say, I continue on. And every time I start to feel him get close to his climax, I slow back down and tighten the hair tie a bit. I’ll let him cum, but in a minute. I want to see how far I can take this.

It’s not much longer after that thought that Louie has had enough. Grabbing my head, he doesn’t force me onto his cock, but he lets me know he needs to cum.

“
Faster
,” he growls, and I obey.

I feel his balls get heavier and his cock gets bigger. When he’s a few seconds away from coming, I remove the band quickly and then move my pointer finger toward his ass. As the first spurt of cum hits the back of my throat, I add just enough pressure to his anus to add that extra kick of stimulation, but it’s enough. More cum floods my mouth and Louie roars out my name.

“HARLOW!”

His cum is never ending, so I have to swallow a few times to make sure I don’t choke on it. Since I’ve never given a blowjob before, I wasn’t sure if I would swallow or not, but it just seemed right. And it’s not as bad as some girls have said. His cum tastes salty and bitter, and is almost hot going down my throat.

I swallow the last of his cum, then suck once more on his softening cock, which jolts him a bit. “Fuck, babe. Don’t do that,” he says, though his words aren’t harsh. I’m fairly certain it’s because he’s really sensitive right now.

Kissing the tip of his cock, I lean back and look at him. He’s lying on my bed limply, his eyes barely open.

When he recovers a bit, he grabs my arm and pulls me down to him. He kisses me earnestly on the lips, then pulls back. A satisfied smile graces his lips.

“Holy
fuck
, babe. That was incredible. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard in my life,” he says, sounding completely surprised, but almost giddy like he wants to try that again.

I laugh, then lay my head on his chest.

We stay like that for a few minutes, then he asks, “What was that thing you did with your hair thingy?”

The question has me laughing, but also a little proud because I know what my answer is and know that it works. I’m insanely happy I did all that research now.

“I didn’t want you to come yet, so I made sure you wouldn’t,” I say like I’m the President of the United States of America and just declared a law. I’m proud and demanding.

I’ve really shocked him though. He’s speechless and looking at me blankly.

Finally, he replies, “Well, feel free to do that to me anytime.”

I laugh, then close my eyes, content for the first time in forever.

***

An hour later, I still can’t sleep, but that’s okay. Carefully removing myself from Louie, I stand there and just stare at him. He looks so peaceful and damn good sleeping in my bed. The sheet is barely covering him; his left leg is completely uncovered, you can see his sexy V muscle on his stomach, and you can see his right hip but his leg is under the sheet. His one arm is stretched out, like he’s unconsciously waiting for me to come back to him, and the other is reclined above his head.

I wish I could take a picture of him right now, so I could keep this image forever. I have no idea how long he’ll want whatever it is we have going right now, but I know I’ll want to look back on this time, years from now and remember how I felt in this moment.

Sighing quietly, I grab some clothes and head toward the bathroom. I showered last night, but then Louie dirtied me up again, so I figure I should probably get clean again before going in to work.

I notice the pot of coffee I forgot about earlier sitting untouched. Guess I won’t have my caffeine fix before work.

Half an hour later, I’m showered and dressed. Louie still hasn’t stirred and I don’t want to wake him. He needs his sleep. I know he had a long day yesterday and who knows what he’s been sleeping like before then, so I leave him to sleep.

When I walk into the shop, I hear Dani in her back office talking to someone, though I can’t make out another voice, so maybe she’s on the phone.

I don’t intend to eavesdrop, but as I’m heading up front to my desk, I can’t help but overhear her.

“You need to talk to him, Zane. There’s something wrong, I just know it,” I hear her say, but have no idea who or what she’s talking about.

As I stop outside her door, I see her pacing inside her office. She hasn’t noticed me yet and I’m not trying to hide either. I’m just concerned about her and wondering what she’s talking about to Blaze. If something is going on, I want to know about it. Maybe I can even help. Lord knows I owe these people everything.

“I know he’s a grown-ass man and he can handle himself, but there’s something not right and he won’t talk to me! Please, Zane,
please
just talk to him for me,” she sounds frantic, which has my heart starting to race too. I wonder who she’s talking about?

Dani stops her pacing suddenly, pulls her phone away from her face and looks at the screen. I don’t know if another call is coming in or a text, but she stares at it for a minute before putting it back to her ear.

“Fine. Whatever,” she says in a detached voice, then hangs up before I’m guessing he can reply.

I thought she would maybe start her pacing again, throw stuff, or yell. But she doesn’t. She just stands there, staring off into space quietly.

Needing to know what’s going on as much as I want to be there for her and make sure she’s okay, I knock on the door to show my presence. “Hey, hon. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I couldn’t help but hear. Is everything okay?” I ask.

Turning around, she looks at me with helpless eyes. “No. It’s not,” she says, then walks over to her desk and falls into her chair like she’s carrying the weight of fifty men on her shoulders and it’s finally too much for her to bear. “It’s Jax. I’m worried about him.”