Defying Destiny (46 page)

realize he didn’t want to part from her any

more than she wanted to part from him.

They would make it. They had to, for both

their sakes. Maralee pushed her worries

aside to concentrate on the here and now.

She couldn’t allow herself to believe her

time with Nash was limited or she’d fall

into despair again.

“I’ll go start that fire then,” he

murmured and disappeared into the

darkened living area.

Maralee started cooking their dinner

and Nash joined her in the kitchen after a

few moments. He seemed intent on driving

the outside world away from them, leaning

against the edge of the kitchen counter and

talking to her while she cooked. By the

time they sat down for their meal, Maralee

had convinced herself the only thing that

mattered was how she felt about this

wonderful man.

“Tell me about your childhood,” he

urged as he began to methodically devour

his steak.

Maralee immediately thought of the

most terrifying and tragic moments of her

childhood, but she pushed them aside. She

instead focused on other things. “Well,”

she began, “I was raised primarily by my

aunt. She was the wife of my father’s

eldest brother. Her husband had been

kill…” She paused, looking up at him

rather than go on any further.

“Killed by Wolves,” he supplied.

“Yes,” she admitted. “I have no living

blood relatives so the court left me and my

estate to my aunt’s care until I turned

twenty-one.”

“And when do you turn twenty-one?”

“Oh, I turned twenty-one over four

months ago.”

“So the estate in Dubwar is yours

now?” He had stopped eating his broiled

rabbit to stare at her with consideration.

“My aunt still lives there. I don’t know

if I’ll ever go back.”

“Do you own a lot of land, then?”

Maralee stared at him for a long

moment. His sudden interest in her

inheritance seemed strange to her. It was

almost as if he was interested in her solely

because she was a wealthy heiress. She

discarded the idea as soon as it occurred

to her. What interest would Nash have in

wealth and property?

“It is a large holding,” she agreed after

a tense moment of silence. “All of the

Decatur’s lived upon the estate at one

time,

so

there

are

several

large

homesteads all combined together. My

aunt rented out chunks of the properties to

sharecroppers soon after she took control

of the estate. I think it’s doing fairly well,

but I’ve never had much interest in such

things, so I’ve never really asked about

it.”

“You should go home, Maralee.”

Her heart seemed to drop down to her

toes. Her distress must have shown on her

face because Nash reached for her hand

and gripped it tightly.

“I’m not trying to get rid of you or

anything,” he said. “But maybe it’s time

for you to take charge of your life. You’ve

decided to stop hunting Wolves and so

you should start thinking about your

future.”

“But you are my future.”

He smiled at her sadly. “Of course.”

Maralee pushed her meal aside, her

appetite suddenly lacking. “I don’t think

you really believe I love you,” she

whispered, looking up to try to catch his

gaze. “I don’t think you realize I mean it

when I tell you how important you are to

me.”

He looked away, but Maralee caught

the look of guilt on his face. How could he

question her feelings, even now?

“You don’t believe me, do you?” she

asked.

He looked into her eyes and said, “I’m

trying.”

“Damn it, Nash. What do I have to do

to prove it to you?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

They stared at each other for a long

moment before she said, “You don’t want

me to love you, do you?”

He lowered his gaze. “I just don’t

understand how you could love someone

like me.”

“Someone like you?” she questioned,

lifting her hand to touch his face. “What

do you mean?”

He shook his head again. “I shouldn’t

have said that.”

“Don’t stop now,” she demanded.

“What did you mean?”

“I don’t have anything to offer you,

Maralee,” he said. “I can’t give you a

proper home or a family or a future. I

can’t make you happy. You’d be better off

without me.”

“You’re wrong,” she shouted, startling

him. “You do make me happy. You don’t

know how miserable I was without you

because you weren’t there to witness it.

The only thing I need is you, and as long

as you’re with me I have a home, a family

and a future.”

He smiled at her crookedly. “I don’t

think I’ll ever understand you.”

“You don’t have to understand,” she

told him, “just believe.”

“I’ll try.”

She sighed with exasperation. “You

can’t
try
to believe,” she said, “you either

do or you don’t.”

He nodded in agreement, but none of

this changed the fact that he couldn’t

believe she had found something within

him to love. After a moment, Nash

released her hand and began to eat the

remainder of his dinner. Maralee left him

to his thoughts and picked at her plate as

well. After they finished their meal, they

washed the dishes together and then

retired to the living area. They spread out

side by side on the bearskin rug before the

fire and talked for hours about anything

that occurred to them. It was well after

midnight when Maralee cuddled up

against him and pressed a trail of warm

kisses along his throat. They made love

slowly, touching, exploring, and loving

one another without the typical mindless

passion that usually consumed them both.

When he moved over her to claim her

body as his, he kissed her ear and

whispered, “Being here with you like this

makes me glad I’m part human. I feel

closer to you.”

She smiled and held him close as he

moved within her slowly. His usual

animalistic lust was completely obscured

by tenderness and though her body was

aching with need, her soul and her heart

were completely satisfied. He rose up on

his elbows and looked down at her.

“I still find it hard to believe that you

could love me,” he said, “but I’m glad you

do. I’m glad that you accept me because it

allows me to accept myself.”

She wondered at his sudden need to

vindicate his existence, especially while

he was making love to her, but she knew

he needed her to stand firm in his corner.

She blinked her eyes open and found that

he was staring down at her intently. She

smiled up at him warmly.

“I do accept you, Nash, and I love you.

Nothing will ever change that.”

He smiled and she recognized that he

truly believed her for the first time. She

also recognized a physical change in him.

His eyes, normally a feral gold, were

inexplicably a greenish-blue shade. She

gasped in surprise, unable to drag her gaze

away from his beautiful eyes as he stared

down at her with love and hope.

“What is it, Maralee?” he asked,

touching her cheek with his fingertips.

“It’s nothing,” she murmured, but she

knew without a doubt that at that moment,

her Wolf was entirely human. “I just want

to be together with you like this forever.”

“Forever,” he agreed, his eyelids

drifting closed as he lowered himself to

kiss her tenderly.

A loud knock at the front door pulled the

pair of intertwined lovers from sleep just

after dawn. Maralee groaned in protest

and snuggled more securely against Nash.

He tugged her closer still and buried his

face in her hair. A second knock, even

louder than the first, refused to be ignored.

“Who in the hell is pounding on the

door at this hour?” Nash grumbled,

unsettling Maralee as he sat up abruptly.

“Nash!” a panicked voice called from

outside the door. “Nash, are you in there?”

“Rella?” He rose and struggled into

his discarded pants before moving to

answer the door.

More awake now, Maralee sat up,

wrapping herself in the blanket they had

shared, and rubbed her face wearily. The

instant Nash opened the door, Rella was

in his arms sobbing brokenly against his

bare chest. Maralee was too concerned to

feel jealousy.

“Rella, what is it?” Nash asked, trying

to pull her away from him so he could

look at her.

“Carsha.”

“Carsha?” Nash took Rella by both

shoulders and forced her to look up at

him. “What happened?”

“She ran away,” Rella said. “When

we returned from visiting the Northpack

last night, I told the children that we

would be moving away and joining their

pack soon. When I woke up this morning,

Carsha was gone.”

“Are you sure she ran away? Did you

check with mother? Maybe she just went

to see her grandma.”

Rella shook her head. “I wasn’t

thinking clearly. I came straight over here

because you always make things right,

Nash. I know I can depend on you.”

“I’ll go start looking for her. You

check with other people of the village and

have them start looking as well,” Nash

said. He tugged his pants off and took his

Wolf form before brushing past Rella and

out the front door.

“I’ll help look too,” Maralee offered,

struggling to her feet and searching for her

clothes.

“I don’t want your help,” Rella said

coldly, glaring at Maralee. “It’s your fault

she ran away in the first place. If you had

never killed her father…if you had never

wedged yourself between Nash and

myself, then I wouldn’t be forced to leave

the village I love to live with a bunch of

strangers. Everyone would be a whole lot

happier if you just disappeared.”

Rella let herself out of the house and

slammed the door. Maralee stared at the

door in shock. Rella’s harsh words rang

true within Maralee’s soul. The promise

that she’d made to Cort over his grave

seemed to call from the very core of her

existence.
I’ll do whatever necessary to

keep them together—happy and cared

for.

Everything she did seemed to go

against that promise. If Nash stayed with

Rella, Cort’s family would be together

and cared for. Surely everyone would be

happier—except for her, but that didn’t

really

matter.

She

didn’t

deserve

happiness after all of the terrible things

she’d done.

Maralee

dressed

hurriedly.

She

wanted to leave before Nash returned,

because if she saw him, her resolve would

melt and she would never be able to do

what was right. She would never be able

to keep her promise to Cort.

She gathered her belongings and

stuffed them into her knapsack. She would

go to Sarbough and hire a carriage to take

her Dubwar. Perhaps it was time for her

to take charge of her life and if she was

going to live without Nash beside her, she

would definitely need something to keep

her occupied.

She was almost ready to leave when

there was another knock at the door.

Maralee sighed. She had made her mind

up, but she didn’t need anyone putting

doubts in her head. She peeked out the

front window and saw Stacia standing

impatiently at the front door. Maralee

sighed again and put on her cloak before

swinging her knapsack over her shoulder.

She opened the door and tried to brush

past Stacia, but the woman caught her arm.

“Where are you going?” Stacia asked.

“I’m leaving,” Maralee said, trying to

brush her off.

Stacia smiled. “I always knew that you