Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (11 page)

A half
hour after my exercise in frustration and confusion ended with Grayson and Rowan,
Benn and I escaped and went to our
Demon History and Defense
class.  I
planned to tell him I wasn’t going to go, since I knew I’d never convince Benn
not to, but getting out of The Bookstore for a few hours, without demon
sentries evaluating my every move and reading my every emotion sounded like
exactly what I needed.

I
hadn’t thought it through. 

The
hush that fell over the class when we entered the gymnasium made me want to
blink out of existence.  Probably better that I couldn’t jump like the Hammers
could.

It
was Benn’s urging nudge that made me shake it off.  I wasn’t going to forget
this life I’d made because of the way I looked.  If the way I’d looked before
hadn’t stopped me from doing things, then the way I looked now shouldn’t
either.

As
we took a few more steps into the gym, I panicked, and reacted without thinking. 
Upon recognizing me, Dmitri bent at the waist.

Dmitri,
don’t bow.

I
hadn’t followed protocol.  Demons, at least ones not on openly friendly terms,
were supposed to ask for permission to telepath.  Grayson was a bad influence,
because he
never
followed that protocol with me.  And, I realized, I
wasn’t following that protocol with any of the sentries either.  But with them,
it seemed acceptable. 

Not
with Dmitri.  I sent him the information, the order, and the full-caste Razer
obeyed.  I didn’t like that one bit.

I
apologize for my intrusion,
I
telepathed, trying to put the dynamic between instructor and student back in
place.  He was my superior.  He was older, a full-caste, my teacher.  That had
to stay the same. 

Scion
, his internal voice was absurdly reverent. 
You
honor me with your mercy.  The telepath is always open for…
he began to bow
again, and this time, there were a few students watching him with furrowed
brows. 

I
switched my tactics. 
You can’t show your allegiance.  You have to treat me
the same, or thirty humans will know what I am. 

Sound
reasoning got through to him.  Dmitri rose to his full height, straightening
his spine and meeting my eyes, however reluctantly, with cobalt blue I’d never
seen looking so sweet before.

I
considered how ridiculous it was that a chance of birth meant demons who
disregarded me completely as the nothing I was were suddenly compelled to honor
me.  What a laughable system this was.

Within
my analysis of demon hierarchy, Camille, ever the bold and confident, walked
over and smiled at me, her pretty, dark brown skin and big, brown eyes looking lovely,
even to my more acute eyesight.  She was lucky, how naturally beautiful she
was.

But
then she spoke, and I remembered all the times she’d been cruel to me, and she
didn’t look so beautiful anymore.  The feelings I hadn’t had then struck me
now.

“Hey,
Bennett,” Camille said, mock politeness on her face and in her false words as
she inspected me.  “Who’s your friend?”

“Camille…”
Benn began, but he looked at me before going on and I read his expression loud
and clear.  He wanted to know if I’d rather be anonymous.  He knew me so well.

I
shrugged, and Benn chuckled.  “This is Savvy, Camille.”

The
way her jaw dropped made me warm inside.  I wanted her to hurt, to cringe at
the sight of me and wish she’d been kinder.  My Razer half, as smoke-and-fire
played on the borders of my thoughts, liked seeing her confused and uneasy.

“You’re
lying,” Camille practically screamed when she picked her face off the floor.

I
laughed, not with humor but with satisfied malice.

Didn’t
seem necessary to stall the facts.  Since the entire class was waiting with
their breathes held in, I figured I should take care of everyone’s curiosity
now before they all passed out from lack of oxygen.

“I’m
a half-caste Razer and had an involuntary glamour cast on me as an infant. 
Yesterday, it was lifted.”  It was the most I’d ever said to anyone in the
class.

“I
know she’s gorgeous, but try not to stare.”  Benn stood up a little straighter. 
“Savvy’s not used to it yet.”

A
sense of extreme weirdness formed in my chest.  Benn calling me gorgeous.  It
was so unnatural, I didn’t know what my reaction was supposed to be.  I decided
to act like it didn’t happen, that I’d heard him wrong.

The
class began chattering, some giggled softly, many gave my body a evident
once-over, apparently able to look past my rabbit-fur socks, flip flops, poofy knee-length
skirt, and giant sage green sweater which I knew looked mismatched and bizarre. 

Someone
whistled.  As my face and chest burned, eyes cast to the gym floor, I wondered
what it would have been like to live my life like this.

I didn’t
like being on display, having the attention of a room filled with people who
hardly acknowledged my existence a few days ago.  But my demon half preened
under their admiring stares.  My human half still pictured me with frizzy hair,
a boy’s body, a pasty pale complexion, and read their attention as cruel.

“You
knew all along, didn’t you?” the rude accusation changing Camille’s face from
shocked to offended.  “That’s why you were friends with such a…such a…”

She
looked at me, then at Benn, and instead of feeling hatred for the girl, I felt pity. 
“I believe your previous assessment was to call me a fugly uggo.  Wasn’t that
it?” 

Her
face said what her mouth couldn’t.  But, you were ugly, she was clearly
thinking.

“You
know,” I mock-whispered, wondering where my sudden lack of discomfort with
thirty pairs of eyes focused on me was coming from, “fugly and uggo are redundant.” 
In a patronizing tone, I added,
Idiot.

Camille
sputtered as she looked at my new face, my
real
face, and pondered how I
could have heard what she said in private to her friends, and how I’d called
her an idiot without opening my mouth. 

“I
may have been ugly, but I got over it.” 
Too bad you’re unlikely to get over
what makes you so ugly, bitch.

I
didn’t mean to, but apparently this time I mentally broadcast to the entire
class, including a watchful and stern-faced Dmitri.  The place erupted, because
half of the humans had been looking directly at me and knew my lips hadn’t
moved, but they’d heard me.

Benn
confirmed he heard my telepaths during our walk to the community center, though
they were faint and somewhat distant for him.  At about ten feet, he couldn’t
hear my telepaths at all.  And he didn’t feel my projected emotions.

He
said it freaked him out, so I was planning to make an effort not to telepath around
him, and be determined to get the hang of controlling it.

Not
five minutes after I told him I’d try not to, I slipped up.  I was such a moron. 
Rowan was right.  I had to learn to control this thing.  I hadn’t even
considered the humans in the gym hearing my quick conversation with Dmitri when
we first walked in.  Telepathing with humans seemed to come and go, or maybe it
was more voluntary.  But I screwed up.

How
was I going to explain this to everyone?  What was I supposed to do now?  I
couldn’t be sure everyone in the class wouldn’t go blabbing what I’d done.  And
humans
simply couldn’t
know I could telepath with them.  I needed to
stay as anonymous as possible for as long as possible.  What a disaster.

Before
I was through berating myself, the class fell silent.  No one’s eyes were
focused on me.  No one’s eyes were focused on anything anymore.  Even Benn was
dazed next to me, swaying slightly as he stood, looking at nothing.

Dmitri,
bowing low now that everyone else was preoccupied doing…whatever it was they
were doing, said, “Scion.”

My
first impulse was to tell him not to bow again, only because it was so weird I
knew I’d never get used to it.  But I didn’t, because I was too interested in
what was going on.

“Dmitri,
what happened?”

“They
mustn’t know who you are.  You were correct, so I took care of it.”

“It’s
that easy?” I asked, then touched Benn, who swayed.  “You can undaze Benn.  He
knows.”

“I
had to be cautious,” Dmitri said, slightly panicked, and Benn unfroze.

“Awesome,”
he said, grinning at me.

I
sputtered a snicker.  “What’d it feel like?”

“Like
I was asleep.”

“Do
you remember what I did?”

“Telepathed
to the entire class.  Dummy.”

“I
know,” shaking my head.  To Dmitri, I asked, “Can you undo it?”

Grayson
had planted thoughts in Benn’s mind when they left him at the bus stop.  Could
any demon do that?  Dmitri wasn’t a Tempter.  Was it just a Tempter thing?

“I
can…” he paused, considering his words carefully, “take the memories from
them.”

A
chill played across my neck.  Sure, I knew my caste could breach.  Razer demons
could tear into minds, rearrange them, devour then destroy them at will.

“I’m
not sure it’s worth that,” I said, appalled that I was even considering it. 

“Grayson
could,” Benn suggested.

“But
I can’t contact him.  I don’t have control enough to telepath that far.  At
least, without telepathing with everyone between here and there.”  I knew I
could call The Bookstore, and one of the demons might answer.  I knew there
were things we could do to try to track Grayson down.  But I didn’t want to ask
him for help.  It seemed vital, for some reason.

“I
can rewind their memories, and have their new ones…overlap,” Dmitri offered,
hopefully.  He wanted to help.  Desperately.  As if his life depended on it. 
“They may recall seeing you here tonight, that something happened, but won’t be
able to pinpoint what.”

“Okay,”
I finally said, after seeing Benn’s expression.  It was the only option.  I
knew that.  Something had to be done and we had a way to accomplish it that
didn’t totally rape their memories.  I had to take responsibility for this
mistake, and do what had to be done, even if I knew it was wrong. 

“I
will rewind them when you’ve left, and reschedule tonight’s class.”

Nodding,
I said, “and next class, I’ll be smarter.”

I
knew Dmitri was about to agree, but caught himself.  It made me uncomfortable,
having someone like him being so cautious around me.  I’d liked that he didn’t
avoid me before all this happened.  He may have pummeled my face into the floor
on several occasions, but he didn’t ignore me.  Or find a reason to kick me out
of class on the first day like he could have, and I think a lot of demons would
have.

“Scion…”

I
huffed, “mind calling me Savannah?”

“Yes.”

I
laughed despite myself.  “All right.”

“Demons
can’t telepath with humans.”

He
said it like he was scared to voice what needed to be said.  What did he think
I could do to him?  I was still essentially the same as before. 

During
our walk to the community center, Benn and I decided, since I was part human, I
was connected to humankind by blood.  By my father’s blood.  I didn’t get any
of those waves of something from Benn, or from any human that I’d noticed so
far, but I could telepath with them.

I
told Dmitri, “there’s never been a half-caste Scion.”

“Can
you telepath with halflings as well?”

Tilting
my head, “I guess…probably, right?  I haven’t been around any to try.”  I’d
never met someone like me.

He
nodded thoughtfully, the full-caste Razer’s cobalt eyes contemplative, calculating. 
For some reason, the look made me envious. 

“You
don’t yet carry the Imperial Mark,” Dmitri said after moments of thought, while
Benn and I watched with puzzled looks.  “Other demons do not know who you are
upon sight because you don’t emit the low-level of energy Royalty emits.”

Oh
great, something even stranger to look forward to.  Why did Dmitri think I
needed to know?  And badly if I was accurately reading the waves coming off him. 
Maybe he thought I wanted every demon to know what I was.

“Is
that like when demons Mark humans?”  Demonology books explained how demons
sometimes choose “worthy” humans to honor with unconditional protection.  Books
didn’t explain how it was done, or how often it happened, but when it did, it
was a huge deal.

“No,
it is not the same,” Dmitri explained. 

“How
would I get Marked?”  I didn’t want to be, if I could avoid it.

“You
have yet to accept it.  Royalty, in essence, is a physical thing.  If not for the
Blooding, you’d be nothing but any other demon.  But there is also another
element, a type of cerebral contract that binds you on a more…sacred level.  When
you accept what you are, all of demonkind will know.”