Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (27 page)

“I
have leverage over you, Daughter.  Perhaps we could…negotiate.”

There
was nothing more she had to say.  I felt her spite in the air, the cold determination. 
As her pitiless, bronze eyes flicked to Rowan behind me, then into the crowd to
where I could only assume Grayson and Cyrus stood, I realized how much she
would enjoy ripping my life apart.  She would relish destroying me, one person
at a time. 

She’d
start with Rowan.  My demon half knew it without a doubt.  Because she could
start right now, and retaliate against my defiance of her wishes. 
Immediately.  While I watched, and could do nothing to stop it.

Would
she strike down her own advisor trying to force my allegiance?  No, she didn’t
know I cared about Grayson and Cyrus.  She didn’t know they were anything more
than my guards under her order.

Next,
it would be Dad. 

Then
Benn.  She’d save Benn for last.  Somehow, she would know.

“What
do you want from me?” I bit out, struggling with each word as the malevolence
in her stare, in the waves in the air, filled me with panic.

She
didn’t answer with anything but a narrowing of her eyes, as if she thought I
was being stupid.  That was when I understood what she wanted.

“All
right,” I frowned, swallowing a sour taste in my mouth as I called her,
“Mother.  I will submit to the Blooding.”

Savannah,
no!
 

The desperate
telepath was from a good distance behind me, but I couldn’t pay him attention. 
I shut Grayson out, built thicker and thicker frosted walls around my opaque
cages, mentally pushed against the Tempter.  There was more he was trying to
tell me, but I heard no more of his thoughts.

And
now Iliana knew there was something between Grayson and me, more than just sentry
and Scion.

“I
will be Blooded, and let you see what a half-caste Scion might be capable of. 
Under some conditions.”

The
triumphant curl of her lips made my muscles twitch.  “Anything, Daughter. 
Having you rule by my side would please me so.”

But
I heard the truths behind her lies.  Study me.  Learn from me.  Use me in
whatever way she could.  And after she sated her curiosity, discard me.

She
would give me what I asked, but only within reason.  She had the power to deny
anything.  She had the power to serve me and everyone I cared about on a golden
platter to her followers who felt betrayed by her omission of my existence.  I
had to choose my requests carefully. 

Most
important thing first, I thought, lifting my chin to meet my mother’s bronze eyes.

“Even
though I’m a half-caste, if I’m Scion, I can Mark humans?”

With
a swift slitting of her eyes that said she knew what I wanted, she did that
thing she liked to do again and said, “Of course, I would expect no less from a
Blooded Scion than to keep her human confidants invulnerable.”

“We’ll
perform the ritual right away,” as soon as I figured out how that was
accomplished.  “But Bennett Cotton and Victor Cole are, by demon law, under
Royal protection from now on.  Under the Mark of a Destroyer.”

A
tingle played along my neck, as if my body were reacting to my first, real act
as an accepted demon.  As Scion.  Though I was careful not to let my reaction
show, it made me feel like I was part of this world.  Maybe even belonged here.

Marking
my family meant not even the Royal could touch them.  Unconditional protection,
the Demonology books said.  They would be as safe as two humans could be.

“Your
humans are already Marked by a Warrior,” Iliana said, her tone airy and
uninterested. 

My
ears rang.  If she said more, I didn’t hear it.

I
had to swallow the knot of emotions in my throat, push hard against the room to
keep myself from losing it.  I couldn’t think about him.  I couldn’t think
about anything.  Staring straight ahead, I knew I looked like the information
meant nothing to me, because Iliana felt disappointed.

“But
a Scion Destroyer’s Mark will hold the greatest authority,” she finally said,
then added, “beneath mine, of course.”

Later. 
I’d be able to react to this later.

In a
cool, even voice, I made my next request.  “I live Up Above like your
advisors.”

“I
believe that is for the best,” Iliana grinned, acting like it had been what she
truly wanted in the first place.

“If
I’m going to be Blooded, I get to choose the demons.”

“You
believe you can find a demon from each caste to join with you before the first
year is through?” 

My
heart skipped, but I hid the fact that I wasn’t positive I could.  I knew, as
if it were engrained in my DNA, that being reasonable right now was
imperative.  “If I can’t choose them before the year is up, you can provide the
rest.” 

But
I’d be damned if I would let Iliana chose the six demons I’d be mentally and
physically connected to for the rest of my life.

I
should have about two months to do this, I reassured myself.  Grayson had said
she took power about three hundred days ago.  Surely I could find six demons in
two months.  After all, I already had a few in mind.

“You
may not have my advisors,” she crooned, those liquid bronze eyes swimming with
delight as they flicked into the crowd, probably to Grayson again.  “But as
long as you choose one full-caste from each of the six castes by the beginning
of the ordination ceremony, then I care not who you are Blooded with.”

I
nodded, ready to be done with this and get out of here.  I needed the fresh air
of Up Above.  I needed my bookstore.  I needed Rowan’s arms around me.  I
needed to hear Benn’s voice, Dad’s voice. 

One
more thing.

“Tanis
Rivera’s obligation to you is paid in full from this moment on.  She is free to
go and live her life as she wishes.”

Iliana
didn’t hide her surprise.  Her mouth fell open, speechless.  More than a few
demons in the hall muttered about their Royal’s uncustomary reaction.

Astonishingly
good to her word, Iliana composed herself and gave a sharp nod.  One of the
twelve hooded half-castes behind her dropped like a rock, with a thump
reverberating through the white and gold room.

Instant
understanding made my nostrils flare.  Those twelve half-castes?  She was
keeping them in a daze, like Dmitri had done to our defense class.  For how long? 
And why?  It gave me chills, and my demon instinct roared.

The
heap on the ground covered in a golden, hooded robe stirred, and I felt
Grayson’s struggle to stay put even though he was in the back of the hall. 
Violet eyes gleamed from under the gold hood, but the female couldn’t lift her
head.

I
wanted to run to her.  I wanted to grab one of those goblets from the tables
around us and smash Iliana’s face in with it.  But I stayed still, and waited.

As a
dismissal, Iliana finally said, “I will see you back here for the ceremony in
three of your human days, Daughter.”

Wait,
what?  Three days?

Shit.

She
hadn’t tricked me exactly.  I didn’t know the ordination ceremony began so
soon.  A human year, maybe, wasn’t the same as a ‘realm year.  She probably
knew I’d guess wrong.  There was nothing I could do about it now.

I
inclined my head as Iliana stood and glided out of the white and gold hall,
followed by the eleven remaining half-castes covered in gold robes.  The fact
that they didn’t lift their heads in order to see where they were going, more
than one stumbling over Tanis’s crumpled body made me feel ill.

The
moment the Royal was out of sight, the demons around the periphery erupted, and
Grayson broke rank with Cyrus at his back.  I watched, shocked motionless, as
they gathered Tanis from the ground, and forced myself to keep an indifferent face. 
Matteo was still watching.  Octavia was still watching.  One hundred demons I
didn’t know and whose allegiance I could only guess were still watching.

He
didn’t touch me, but when Rowan began to move, so did I.  We turned and walked
out the door, my Sentinel at my back, Grayson and Cyrus trailing behind with
Tanis in their arms.

The
moment the door to Iliana’s white and gold hall slammed shut, I couldn’t see,
my eyes slowly adjusting to the sudden lack of light.  Rowan’s arm was around
me, supporting me, leading me, but this time, no longer keeping his respectful
distance.  I was glad for it, and I let him guide me through the castle, out the
front door we’d come through, and deep into the ‘realm once again.

A
crowd had gathered, but I ignored them.  This time, it wasn’t a difficult thing
to do at all.

My
three sentries led us through narrow streets and back alleys, attempting to evade
the horde.  I came out of shock slowly at first, and then, all at once.

You
Marked my family for me.

Rowan
nodded, his arm slinking away from my shoulders.  He even took a step away as
we followed Grayson carrying Tanis in his arms, trudging through some foul
smelling alley.

Benn
being weird around you.  The full-castes hitting on him.  That was why.

Rowan
nodded again, and I stopped. 

“They
were safe,” I said, but my simultaneous telepath had a clearer meaning. 
You
kept them safe.

“I
should have told you,” he looked sheepish.  For once, Rowan wasn’t reading me
right.

My
heart thudded, my need for his touch kicked up, adrenaline shooting down to my
toes and fingertips.  My breathing was rough, and I felt like I might explode
if I didn’t have his skin on mine.

“Are
you all right, Savannah?” Grayson asked, Cy’s brown eyes matching the Tempter’s
concern.  Giant, violet eyes didn’t blink as they assessed the severity of my
face, but I didn’t have time for them.

Leave
us,
I telepathed, not taking my eyes
from Rowan.

They
had the good sense to scuttle down the alley without another glance, without
another word, Tanis’s eyes peering back at me over her half-brother’s shoulder. 
They thought my Sentinel was in trouble.

As
soon as they were out of sight, I let the opaque cage that had been keeping my
feelings for him contained blow apart.

Come
here.

He
swallowed, looking stunned, but white gold stars appeared in his eyes.

“You
are Scion,” he said, but didn’t take his eyes from mine.  “It is illegal to…for
someone like me to pursue you.”

“I
don’t care.”

“You
might feel differently in the future.”

“Yeah,
I might.” 
But you know me better than that by now.

“There
won’t be one being in the Underrealm to accept us…together.”

Don’t. 
Care.

Seconds
passed, and my confidence wavered.  He’d meant what he said.  He didn’t think
this would work between us.  And I was out of line to make him confront it like
this.

But
then he smiled that smile that changed everything.

He
pulled me into his arms, and there were fangs on my throat, being dragged
against my pulse, along sensitive tendons, and claws against my back.  I hadn’t
seen him throw off his glamour, but I knew it was gone.  I knew it was Rowan in
my arms, one hundred percent Rowan.  He wouldn’t give me anything less
anymore.  No more masks.  No more hiding.

Hands
thrust deep into his golden hair, I kissed along his jaw, then down his neck, not
knowing what I was doing but letting desire quiet my mind.  My insecurities. 
My second guesses.  My rational brain.  In this moment, all that mattered was
Rowan.

With
one, big hand tangled in my hair, the high twist I put it up in before we left
my apartment long gone.  He clutched the nape of my neck, possessively pulling
me against him.  Rowan kissed me without control.  His lips were soft and firm,
slow and quick all at once.  I fell into him, letting his arms, his body, his
everything keep me on my feet. 

The
lethalness of his strength should have scared me.  My demon half could have
been deafening with distrust.  Those fangs had torn flesh from Matteo.  Those
claws cut like knives.  But my demon half had faith in him too. 

Rowan
had all of me.

Lifting
me like I weighed nothing, my mouth was level with his, and instinct told me to
wrap my legs around him, so I did.  I touched him everywhere I could, found
skin with mine and soaked up the exquisiteness of it.

He
growled, and the deep places within me throbbed in response, and he growled
louder, sensing my desire for him.

He
rocked against me, my back somehow against a wall, though we’d been in the
middle of the alley a second ago, and my body detonated with the sensation of
his touch near places I’d never been touched before.

I cried
out, and Rowan growled into my ear as he took it into his mouth, working my
earlobe with his tongue.

Panic
hit me.  I wanted to push it away, keep it out.  But I couldn’t.  Was this
going to hurt?  Was I so inexperienced, I would only embarrass myself?

I
wasn’t ready.  I couldn’t do this.  I didn’t want Rowan to stop, but I couldn’t
keep going.  Bells of alarm sounded in my mind, and I couldn’t turn them off.

Shattered
white gold on a champagne backdrop looking so incredible quieted those alarm
bells as he trailed a claw from my temple to my chin, clutching me tightly,
looking at me like I was something to be cherished.  In that moment, I knew
Rowan’s eyes, his affectionate expression, was the only thing that could calm
my fears.

Holding
in my breath because I knew if I were to exhale, it would sound ragged and
advertise my nervousness, I telepathed to him,
Be careful with me.

“Always,”
Rowan whispered, and it tingled.  Then he kissed me.

Unable
to resist, I arched my body into his, rubbed sensitive places against sensitive
places, and moaned, letting my ecstasy spill out into the air.

Rowan
stilled, then slowly, still kissing me, put me down.

Panicked
that I’d hurt him with my projecting, I stuttered, “I’m sorry I…”

But
he shook his head, closed his eyes, and took a deep, strained breath.  I
couldn’t read his expression.  My own emotions were so intense I couldn’t pick
up on his.

“Are
you okay?”

When
he opened his eyes again, most of the white gold was gone, but not all of it. 
His eyes on mine gave me goosebumps. 

“We
must stop now.”

“Did…did
I do something?”

His slow
grin quieted the scared little girl voice in my head.  “We must stop now, or I
won’t.”

“But,”
I blinked, “I thought…”

“You
thought I would just take you?” he smiled that smile that turned the good-looking
demon into the most incredibly beautiful thing I’d ever seen.  “Here?  In an
alley, in the ‘realm?  With those three standing around the corner?”

I
shrugged, but fell into his arms, not wanting to give up his touch for even a
second. “How am I supposed to know what to think?”

“Know
this, Savannah,” Rowan said, pulling me from his body, but keeping his arms
around me.  “I will never hurt you, never push you.  And never demean you like
that.”

I
nodded severely.

“It’s
time for you to know how it feels to be wanted in every sense of the word.”

He
took my hand, pressed his lips to my knuckles, and laced his fingers with mine. 
I couldn’t decide which felt more intimate.

I
adore you.

He
couldn’t think the words back to me.  Telepathy didn’t work that way.  Not yet,
anyway.  Not until after the Blooding, because Rowan would be the Hammer I
chose.  And I was pretty sure a blood bond meant we would be a two-way radio
from then on. 

But
I felt it in his movements, could sense his feelings, taste the affection-riddled
desire within his mind.  His never hidden, demon eyes shined with emotion I’d
never witnessed before.  And it was all for me.  

Separating
my skin from his and leaving that alley was almost painful.  But it had to be
done.  I had responsibilities now.

On
our way to join the others, a gaunt demon stalked towards us, narrow shoulders
stiff.  Within seconds, Cyrus jumped closer. 

I
could tell there was lean muscle under the black on black suit the male wore,
but he was thin for a demon.  Then I realized what caste he was, and it made
sense.

“I
am Arik,” the Reaper addressed only me, over Rowan’s protective shoulder,
around Cyrus’s head and ignoring Grayson’s subtle retreat with Tanis still in
his arms a few feet away.

The
tattoos around his neck and up the sides of his face were the only ones
visible.  Unlike the female I’d seen earlier, whose clothes displayed her
markings, this male Reaper was covered.  He even wore black leather gloves.  But
his tattoos were much more intricate, the brands much thicker.  He’d obviously
been at his job far longer than the female, and was one of the upper-class
Reapers Rowan told me about.

“Are
you here under Iliana’s request?”

“Yes.”

I
would have respected his blunt honesty if he weren’t giving me a bad vibe.  It
was similar to the waves of emotion I got from other demons, only thinner. 
Watered down.  Mostly empty…but, not entirely.  And tarnished with something
sour that made my fists clench.

“Why?”
I asked.

“She
wants to be privy to your decisions, your life.  Her Royalty cares greatly for
her only offspring.”

Resisting
the urge to flinch, instead I said, “Give me a way to reach you.”

He
bowed half-assed and handed me a metal coin. 
Demons
.  Couldn’t give out
a phone number?

“I’ll
let you know my decision,” I said, not offering the Reaper my hand or even a customer
service smile.  He didn’t wait for one either.

Do
Reapers have an old name?
I asked
everyone, unease crawling under my skin.

“No,”
Rowan put his warm hand on my back.  “Why do you ask?”

“Just
thinking Boogieman might have been it.”  I looked over my shoulder at him. 
That
male gives me the creeps.

My
three sentries and the half-caste Tempter female nodded. 

“But
I’m going to need a Reaper,” I admitted aloud. 

Finding
a Reaper and a Sorcerer in the next three days wasn’t going to be easy.  They
weren’t exactly benevolent types.  They didn’t illicit friendship and trust in
me.  Didn’t help that they freaked me out either.

“We
have friends, Savannah,” Cyrus said, and Tanis’s eyes bugged at the easy
familiarity in the way he said my name.  “We will help you.”

I
smiled at him.  “Remember the female who brought in that God awful drink earlier?”

Rowan
and Cyrus nodded.  Grayson said, “her name is Ivy.”

“She
had no problem treating me like a regular person.  And I didn’t get the creeped
out feeling from her.”  Though, now that I felt the waves coming off Arik, I
understood the vaguely sour waves I felt from Ivy would grow stronger as she
grew older.  As she harvested more souls. 

“Ivy
is young.  And a servant in your mother’s palace,” Cyrus said like that was the
female Reaper’s fault.

“She’s
still better than Arik.  I won’t accept a demon who was sent to me deliberately
by my mother.  This is a power game.  I understand it.”

Grayson’s
granite eyes flickered to pure blue diamonds.  “You’re more Razer than you
appear, Savannah.”

My eyes
narrowed at the sudden change in his glamour, wondering if I could ever trust
him to be truthful with me now that he got his sister back.  But he was here. 
He could have left with Tanis, with Cyrus, the moment we left Iliana’s fortress. 
Grayson was choosing to stay with us.

Still
suspicious of the Tempter, but feeling signs of it wavering, I said, “humans
can be cunning too, you know.”

“Might
a human-Razer half-caste be the most cunning of us all?” Grayson said, and I
felt what he felt.  It hadn’t all been a manipulation.  There was burgeoning
respect too.  It was a start.

“I
doubt my feeble attempt to thwart Iliana is going to go down in any history
books.  But that isn’t going to stop me.” 

When
I telepathed, I telepathed to all of them, projecting passion along with it.

I’m
doing this for Dad.  For Benn.  For you, Tanis.  For all those half-caste
slaves of my mother’s.  And for you guys.  You’re all worth me giving this my
best shot.