Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (26 page)

Only
a few minutes passed before Apollo returned, looking sullen.  No wonder Grayson
had been stuffing his face as if the food would be snatched away any second.

I
wondered what happened to Stratton, who we’d been expecting.  Nothing good, by
the helpless and worried feelings the males were giving off.  But none of them
said anything about the Mischief demon’s absence.

Apollo,
his giant size mesmerizing me again, said Iliana was ready for us, and led the
way through the stone corridors.  The whole place was too dark for my eyes,
though I did notice the path we took gave the giant Hammer no trouble.  He knew
his way around these halls. 

Before
we got to wherever Iliana would receive us, Rowan held me back a few paces and
mouthed, not wanting any nosy ears to hear, “do not telepath.  She will hear.”

I
nodded, wishing I could reach out and reassure him, reassure myself, but I
couldn’t.  He looked strained, and I knew the moment we were back with the
others, he would become empty again.  I hated that.  The urge to feel his hot
skin, see those white gold sparks in his eyes, make him growl for me was so strong.

Though
it grated, I had to follow his example.  Stay cold.  Make myself blank.  Rowan
escorted me back to the group, who had stopped at a door, waiting for us to
join.

The
doors opened.

Sudden,
harsh brightness made me flinch.  I had to snap my eyes shut as they filled
with water.  I wasn’t prepared for the jarring sight, and the demon part of me
suspected this was at least partly Iliana’s intention of the white room inside
a dank, grey castle.

When
I could see again, my sensitive eyes adjusting, I ogled the room.  All white opulence
and yellow gold, lit candles and plush, expensive looking rugs.  The gold
wasn’t like Rowan’s hair which reminded me of sunlight or those white gold
shards that sometimes erupted in his eyes.  This gold was the gold found in
jewelry, the kind that pirates buried, the kind that kings acquired long ago. 
It all had a sense of being old.  Plates along the walls, arches overhead,
tables piled high with goblets, encased with jewels that sparkled in the bright
light. 

A
strip of white marble on the floor squeaked and clicked under Rowan and my
shoes as we strode forward, all eyes on us.  The pristine marble led us all the
way to a humongous throne of gold. 

Sitting
on the throne, back straight, eyes forward without looking excited or expectant
in any way, was my mother.  I knew her immediately.

Iliana
was the most beautiful female I had ever seen.  So beautiful, I didn’t
understand why demons and my dad said I looked like her.  Bronze skin, bronze
hair, bronze eyes.  It was difficult to look away.  Her robes were pure white and
draped over her curves in a way I was certain no human material would.  She was
the picture of elegance.

And
she could have been my sister.  She didn’t look much older than my twenty
years.  Maybe in her early thirties.  Razers weren’t immortal, but there wasn’t
a flaw, a wrinkle, a blemish, one bronze hair dulling to grey or out of place. 

Oddly,
I thought of Astor.  Though the Sorcerer had been cruel to me, appeared more
menacing, the picture of proverbial evil, she looked more human than my mother.

Flanking
her sides and trailing in the wake of the throne were a dozen females, six on
each side, fanning out so each could be seen.  Their heads and faces were covered
with gold hoods of the same material Iliana wore, making their individuality
hard to determine.  Their heads were bowed, their hands hidden within the gold
robes.  And they stood motionless, giving the spectacle an eerie feel.

But
I knew those twelve females were half-castes.  I could practically feel it,
some sort of unspeakable kindred I only felt before at Division.  Not with
Benn.  Not with Dad.  Not with anyone but half-castes.

“Ah,
Daughter.  Please, do come in.”

Her
voice sounded familiar, even though it had no reason to.  I wanted to telepath
with Rowan, know that he knew the things I was thinking, but I didn’t.  I
trusted his word.

Grayson
and Cyrus scattered to the side of the vivid room, joining rows of demons who
were watching with glamoured faces that I hadn’t noticed at first.  The waves
of emotion I got from them were disturbing.  Some were bloodthirsty.  Most were
terrified.

“Royal,”
I said, inclining my head like Octavia, Matteo, and Apollo had earlier at me. 
Formality felt weird on me usually, but today, in front of her, it felt
necessary.

Iliana
tsked
, waving a bronze hand adorned with gold ink painted onto her
skin.  Or at least I thought it was ink, golden henna tattoos, not what a full-caste
Razer female’s skin would look like.  I wanted to ask Rowan, but couldn’t.

Telepathy
at some point had become natural for me.  The loss of it was more difficult
than I expected.

“Please,
Daughter.  Do call me Mother.”

Inhaling
deeply, I purposely thought through my words carefully.  Planting a pleasant,
studied, customer service smile on my lips, I said, “I’d prefer not to.”

Iliana
smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, and didn’t look pleasant at all.  If this
was her customer service smile, she wasn’t very good at it.

She
studied me with an air of disdain, but I didn’t think she looked disgusted on
the outside.  It was the waves of feeling I felt coming off her, seeping into
the air around her that told me.  Her appearance gave nothing of her contempt
away.  To the others around us, I bet she looked like the appraising mother she
built herself up to be. 

But
I knew the truth.

Iliana
said nothing for a long time, so I didn’t either, waiting patiently, but
feeling antsy under the scrutiny.  I wanted to fidget.  I wanted to scratch my
nose, tug at my shirt, raise my eyebrows.  But I didn’t.

Rowan
stood at my side, one step behind me, inclining his head and staring at the
white marble.  I didn’t dare look over at him, but I could feel the waves of
tension within him.

Eventually,
Iliana spoke again.

“You
have accepted your place as Scion I see.  And have even chosen a Sentinel.  You
have been a busy girl.”

Curiosity
took over.  “You seem surprised.”

She
smiled that fake smile again, and the animosity in the air around her rippled. 

“Of
course, no one was sure if a half-caste could even be Scion.  Though, now that
you are here, bearing the Imperial Mark, having Blooded a Sentinel…without
instruction…without proper training…”

I
could feel the wonder hit her.  The questions, the anticipation and curiosity. 
She just discovered a new toy.  If she had thought I wouldn’t inherit any Scion
traits, then I understood the surprise.  Surely some part of her had to have
wondered though.  Why didn’t she come to check it out?

“With
all the additional abilities the Blooding provides, I have considered it possible
for a half-caste to have, perhaps, unexpected talents.”

I
stared at her, trying to catch up.  A few seconds ago, she didn’t even think I
could bear the Imperial Mark.  Now, she was acting like it was her plan all
along.

She
was saving face in front of her court.  They would see her actions as
protective, as curious, as calculating.  Only, I knew the truth.  She couldn’t
hide her emotions from me.

Iliana
would take advantage of what I could do if she knew.  I could telepath with half-castes. 
And humans.  Other castes couldn’t, even Royals.  And I could feel demon
emotions.  They couldn’t hide them from me.  If they could, surely Iliana would
be right now. 

She
could never know.

“Matteo
has informed me that you can telepath.  Is that so?”

I
nodded, wondering if Matteo and Octavia had beaten us here after all.  Or could
they telepath with her from Up Above?

“With
all castes?” she asked, polite sweetness so fake, I couldn’t believe the demons
in her court were so gullible to believe it.

I
nodded again.

“What
about others like you?”

Studying
her emotions, my Razer half realized something.  The sudden excitement laced
with resentment.  I couldn’t know for sure, but the idea settled into the back
of my mind.  She’d given birth to a half-caste.  I was in her womb, part of her
once.

Did
that mean she could telepath with half-castes?

My
demon half, as soon as the idea hit me, was convinced it was true, and
suspected that had been her motive all along. 

“Yes,
I can telepath with half-castes,” I said, proud my voice didn’t carry even a
hint of the disgust I felt about what I grasped.

And
now I knew.  Her bitterness and disquiet made it obvious.  She didn’t want
offspring.  Iliana wanted power.  My dad and I had been nothing but a tool to
her.

She
thought she’d be the only one.

Iliana
considered what I could do, pondering every angle, every possibility within a
span of seconds.  When she spoke again, her declaration was absolutely not what
I had expected.

“You
must move in immediately, Daughter.”  The familial term sounded sweeter than
before—though there was no ownership towards me in her—now that she wanted
something from me.  “We have much we can learn from one another.  I am
interested in what strengths you may possess after you’ve been Blooded into the
Underrealm.”

There
was nothing but malice-tinged curiosity in her. 

Gulping
down the string of profanity I wanted to yell, I waited a moment, choosing my
words wisely again.  “I thought it was understood I’d already made my choice. 
I chose a human life.”

The
fake smile on Iliana’s lips faltered.  “You cannot deny what I have made you. 
We are blood, Daughter.”

You
didn’t make me anything, I wanted to scream.  You do not get to take credit for
anything about me!

Instead,
I said, keeping an even tone, “Blood doesn’t win over choice with me.  I choose
my family.  I’ve already chosen Up Above.”

“I
am family as well, Daughter.”  She attempted a stern smile again, only this
time she didn’t succeed.  “You will learn to care for me like a mother.”

“I
won’t.”

I’d
held out hope that she had glamoured me when I was a baby to protect me, maybe to
keep me from this world, maybe to protect me in some other way.  That was my
human half, a human hope.  Now I knew the truth.

Any
childish wish I’d had that Iliana disguised me for the sake of keeping me safe
was dashed.  It was all for her greed, her Razer need to rule, a calculating
intelligence that could see the shape of things to come.  Keeping me hidden had
been part of her plan.

A
female like Iliana probably always got what she wanted.  Absurdly, she reminded
me of Camille.  They were both petulant and conceited, and neither knew how to
process not getting something they wanted for probably the first time in their
lives.

She
would stop at nothing to force me to accept the Underrealm as my home.

“I
can command you to join us here.  You will not defy a direct order.”

She
said it with confidence, but she didn’t know me very well.  I damn well could
defy her orders.  I’d die before I’d join her.  Now I knew I was nothing more
than a pawn to her, an instrument, a doll.  A means to gain more power. 

The
demon in me whispered to stay calm, to stay collected and to give her nothing
to use against me.  I let time pass, let my thoughts solidify before replying
to her threat.

“If
you think breaking the
Treaty
during your first year isn’t political
suicide, then force me to stay down here with you.  No matter what, I am half
human, and demonkind will know the freedom you denied me.  My decision to stay Up
Above stands.” 

I
paused for a breath, then lifted an eyebrow, unwisely taunting her.  “I wonder
what other respected laws they’ll fear you’ll break in your years as Royal. 
For some reason, I doubt they’ll revere you so much if you start jeopardizing
the
Human-Demon Treaty
.”

Her
hatred seethed, and I just knew I was about to lose a limb, or some valuable
section of my brain, even though Iliana’s outward appearance remained calm.

Matteo
and Octavia arrived at that moment, entering the hall and spanning the room in
seconds.  Iliana greeted Matteo with a smile.  A real one, I thought, but it
gave me a chill.

“There
are things you want,” my mother said wisely, and fear shot through me.  My
demon half recognized the significance of her words.  I couldn’t hear the
telepaths between them, but I could imagine what her Razer advisor was
informing her about. 

The
human who stood by my side in the coffee shop. 

The throaty
warning Rowan gave when Matteo appraised my appearance.

She
would use my love for them against me.  When she let what I’d already deduced
be known, I built opaque cages within my mind in a frenzied flurry to contain
my panic.