Demon (21 page)

“Becca, my love, my lady,” he tilted her head and forced her to look into his eyes, “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, and I’d never be presumptuous enough to tell you what to do. If you need to go home—if that’s the only way you can heal—I promise I’ll drive you there myself. But if there’s even the smallest chance that we can work through this together. If I … if-if you….” he stuttered for a moment, unsure of his words. “Just believe me when I tell you that I can be patient. I can give you space or time or whatever else you need until you get through this. I don’t care how long it takes.” His sweet voice trembled, and his eyes seemed to literally overflow with love. “It’s going to be all right. You aren’t doing anything wrong, my angel of music. You aren’t hurting me. The only thing that hurts me is seeing
you
in so much pain and not being able to do anything to change it.”

There were his eloquent words. She should have known they wouldn’t elude him for long. Normally, when he spoke to her in that delicate, melodic voice, it melted her heart and she would give him anything he wanted. But as lovely as the sentiments were, Rebecca was still unsure.

“What if it
never
changes, Justyn? Are you going to sleep on the couch for a month? A year? How long until it starts to appeal to you when someone like Livy offers you a backrub or a kiss that your girlfriend can’t give you?”

“First of all, a vixen like Livy would never appeal to me, even if I were single. But more importantly, I think you’re forgetting how stubborn I can be.” He gave her a halfhearted smile. “I fought for you once. I’ll fight for you again.”

“I remember,” she whispered. “But this isn’t the resident surfer vying for my affections. This is … this is different.”

“I know that,” he continued, but not before clearing his throat. “I know you’re scared, and I know you’re not ready to let me help you yet. But before you walk away from everything we’ve built together, can I just ask one thing from you? One little thing before you make any big decisions you might regret later?”

She sighed. “What is it?”

“Just wait until the end of the weekend. I have something planned that I think will help you. If it doesn’t work—if you still feel this way on Sunday afternoon—I promise I’ll take you home, no questions asked.”

Rebecca was silent for a long time, thinking it was pointless. That there wasn’t anything that could possibly make things better, especially not in just a few short days.

“Justyn … I….” She started to shake her head.

“Please, Becca. Two days. After all we’ve been through … is that so much to ask?”

How could she refuse him? Even though she knew she was just dragging out the inevitable—even though she knew it was just going to hurt them both all over again when she was forced to tell him goodbye a second time, she nodded her head.

“All right,” she agreed. “I’ll try to stick it out a few more days, but
only
if you sleep on the bed.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. “I won’t do it unless you agree to my terms.”

He raised an eyebrow, and it almost made her smile. “You like to play hardball, huh? All right. I agree. I’ll sleep in the bed. But only for tonight.”

Rebecca nodded. “Okay then. Since we have that settled, can we
please
get out of here? I’m freezing, and after everything that just happened, I have no desire to go back inside and face Livy.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Justyn rolled his eyes. “You know these drinking parties aren’t my scene. You just wait here for a minute. I’ll run in and get our jackets.”

Justyn put his hand on the screen door, and when he pulled it open, Quinn stumbled out and almost fell down the steps. Only Justyn grabbing his arm allowed him to catch his balance. He laughed a little as he righted himself and looked surprised to see them there. He probably thought they’d left after the incident with Livy.

“Thanks, man.” He patted Justyn’s back. His eyes were a little glazed. He must have had a lot more to drink since they stepped outside. “Hey, guys. Have you two, umm, seen Megan?” He looked around the porch as if she might somehow materialize there if he willed it hard enough. “Can’t seem to find her anywhere.”

Justyn shrugged. “The last time I saw her, she was sitting in your lap.”

Quinn scratched his head. “Yeah, well, she had a few beers and she had to go, you know, powder her nose or whatever it is girls do in there for
hours
. I waited, but after a while, she didn’t come back. So I went to look for her and,” he shrugged his shoulders dramatically, “no Megan.”

Rebecca was suddenly worried. “I hope she didn’t try to walk back to the dorms alone.”

“Or drive back,” Justyn added. “She definitely wasn’t in any condition to get behind the wheel. Maybe we should stay a few minutes longer. Just until we find her.”

Rebecca nodded her agreement. The first thing she did was pull her cell phone out of her handbag. When she dialed Megan’s number, it went right to voicemail. That wasn’t abnormal on campus, but the frat house wasn’t buried as deep in the woods, so her reception should have been fine. It made Rebecca even more anxious. She and Justyn were just about to follow Quinn back into the house when they saw a blond head bobbing in the crowd.

“There she is!” Quinn exclaimed. “I’ll go catch her. You guys can … ummm … go back to whatever it was you were doing.” Quinn went to step over the threshold so he could catch up with her and almost fell over for the second time.

Justyn laughed. “I think someone needs to cut you off, my friend.”

“Na, I’m good.” Quinn snorted and turned back to the door. “Hey, Megan, wait up!”

Quinn continued to shout as he stumbled through the doorway, even though there was no way anyone was going to hear him over the blaring music. The girl had disappeared around the corner. It had definitely looked like Megan’s tawny tresses, but Rebecca didn’t get a good enough look to tell for certain. Still, Quinn and Justyn both seemed convinced, and she couldn’t wait to go home and put the horrible night behind her, so she didn’t worry about it for long.

Justyn went in after Quinn to get their jackets. As she waited, Rebecca kept peeking in the door for some sign of Megan. She saw lots of people, but now both Quinn
and
Megan had vanished. Maybe the party was dwindling down. There was no sign of Livy or her boy toys either. Rebecca imagined she was off licking her wounds, but immediately regretted the thought when she remembered the very real scars on Livy’s arms.

When Justyn returned with jackets in hand, she followed him to the car in silence. He didn’t mention their conversation again. He didn’t put any pressure on her to change her mind about going home. He even kept his side of the bargain and allowed her to carry her blankets out to the loveseat. As soon as she lay back, she realized the beer had really done a number on her. Her head was a little achy, and she was so tired it didn’t take her long to fall asleep, even on the lumpy couch. But though she slept, her dreams were still haunted by visions of masked faces. The only difference was when she was trying to run away, Megan was beside her.

When Rebecca woke, she found herself secure in her bed, tucked under the covers. So much for Justyn’s promise. He must have carried her in sometime during the night. She was so zonked from the beer, she hadn’t even noticed. She should have been angry, but she was too comfortable to complain. She could feel the aftereffects of the unaccustomed drinking as she stirred. She still felt tired, her mouth was dry, and there was a dull ache behind her eyes. When she glanced at the clock, she saw it was almost noon, and she couldn’t believe she had slept so late. She was grateful when she smelled the scent of fresh-brewed coffee wafting in from the kitchen.

Gradually, she pulled herself from the bed and stretched her tight limbs. Her scuffle with Livy must have taken a little more out of her than she realized, because her muscles were sore. She yawned as she stepped into the living room, not sure whether she was looking forward to seeing Justyn or dreading it. As it turned out, she didn’t have to worry about it either way, because it wasn’t Justyn who greeted her with a streaming cup of coffee.

It was Darlene.

She was dressed as eloquently as ever, with a long white dress that gently brushed the floor and silver charms dangling around the lace neckline. Her long black curls stood out in stark contrast to the light color. Rebecca realized she had never seen Darlene wear white before. Like Justyn, she was usually wearing black or occasionally the bright ornate colors of her belly dance costumes. Never white. It made her appear almost angelic.

“Here you go, Becca, darling.” Darlene handed her the mug and laid the sugar and creamer out on the counter. “Have a cup of coffee and get some food into you. We have a lot of work to do today.”

Rebecca accepted the cup, still a little too foggy from sleep to argue. It wasn’t until she was seated at the kitchen nook, sipping coffee and munching on some toast that she finally managed to say something.

“Wh-where’s Justyn?” she stuttered.

“He got up early this morning and left once I arrived,” Darlene explained. “He’ll be spending the day in the dorms with his friend Frankie.”

Rebecca felt a lump rise in her throat. “He’s that angry with me?”

“Of course he’s not angry, darling,” Darlene told her with a wave of her jeweled hand. “He’s just giving us a little space.”

“Space for
what,
exactly?” Rebecca questioned. “No offense, Darlene, because you know I love you, but what are you
doing
here?”

Darlene put down her own mug of coffee long enough to grasp both Rebecca’s hands in her own perfectly manicured ones. “Justyn called me last night. He told me that you’re having a hard time coping with what happened. Now don’t be upset with him,” Darlene added quickly when Rebecca’s cheeks flushed. “He didn’t come to me as his mother, but as a Wiccan High Priestess.
Your
High Priestess.”

Rebecca sighed heavily. “I appreciate the sentiment, Darlene, but I really don’t think you can make an herbal tea that’s going to fix this. I’m … a total mess.”

Rebecca felt herself crumble. She should have been embarrassed to show so much emotion. Yet it seemed only natural when Darlene wrapped her arms around her and stroked her hair. Instantly, Rebecca felt sheltered and soothed in her motherly embrace, and even more so by the strange power that Darlene always seemed to radiate. Darlene let her cry as long as she needed, and only when her wracking sobs started to subdue did she speak again.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Darlene cooed. “I know how hard this is for you. I mean, I
really
know.”

Rebecca hiccupped and dried her eyes. She looked up at Darlene in surprise. “You mean you….” She couldn’t quite bring herself to finish the sentence.

Darlene nodded. “It was many years ago that some awful man forced himself on me against my will. Before Justyn was born. He doesn’t even know about it, to be honest. Some things are meant to remain amongst women.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rebecca whispered.

Darlene had been through so much, losing Justyn’s father so young and raising him alone, yet she remained a beacon of strength. Learning she was also a rape survivor made Rebecca respect her even more than she’d thought possible.

Darlene shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. There should never be regrets. Everything that happens in our lives is part of the journey—the good
and
the bad. It all molds us into the person we are meant to become. I wouldn’t be the woman or the witch I am today, without
all
of the things I experienced.”

Rebecca cast down her eyes. “I don’t think I’m as strong as you are.”

Darlene only smiled. “You’re kidding me, right? Wasn’t it you who stared down the barrel of a gun to save my son’s life? You do realize that without your bravery and quick thinking, it’s very possible that Justyn would have bled to death before help got there.”

“But this is different…” Rebecca argued.

“Why? Because you’re trying to save yourself? Why is your life any less precious? I know you have the strength to win this battle, Rebecca. You fought the man who tried to hurt you and you got away. You didn’t give into him then. Don’t give into him now. Don’t let him win.”

Again, Rebecca felt the tears well in her eyes. “I feel like he’s already won. It’s like he’s still here. Sometimes, I swear I can still feel his hands on me. It makes me feel so awful—so, so,
dirty
. I think that’s why I keep pushing Justyn away. I feel like I’m not worthy of him anymore. Like I’m tainted somehow.”

“I know those feelings well,” Darlene said gently. “I’d like to try to help you get past this, if you’ll let me. The Pagan path is about more than just herbs and oils, Becca. You’ve been studying the Craft long enough to know this. In the loving arms of the Goddess, a woman can find healing. That’s why I’m here today. I’d like to perform a cleansing ritual.”

Rebecca blinked a few times. She had joined Darlene and her coven in many full moon and Sabbat rituals since she met Justyn, but a ritual cleansing was something new to her. She had no idea what it entailed, but if it would give her back her life, she would try anything.

“It won’t be exactly like what you’re used to,” Darlene explained, sensing her confusion. “It will only be the two of us. This is women’s work, women’s mysteries. As much as we both love Justyn, he can’t be here until the cleansing is complete.”