Authors: Laura DeLuca
For his part, Justyn never lost patience—at least not with her. Nevertheless, as much as she would have liked to be, she wasn’t blind. She could see that the stress of what has happening between them was spilling over into his everyday life as well. More than once, he tried to pick an argument with Chad or Scott, as though he longed to have someone to vent his anger on. Even Frankie and Quinn weren’t safe from his short fuse. Everyone in the cast was staying out of his way.
On the stage, his frustrations were even more visible. For the first time, Rebecca saw him fumble his lines. She saw the anger growing inside him each day, and she knew it was partially because of her distance, but also because the nameless, faceless man haunted him as well. He wanted to defend her, to keep her safe. But he had no one to blame, no one to punish. So he was punishing everyone. She hated to see him so frustrated. She hated even more that she was the reason for his turmoil.
Rebecca thought she was the only one who noticed the change in Justyn’s attitude and performance. But as they walked silently into play practice on Thursday afternoon, Professor Carter made it clear
he
had noticed as well. It was obvious by the way he frowned at Justyn that his patience was being tested.
“You have been a little off on your game the last few days, Mr. Patko,” the director reprimanded as the stagehands set up for the first scene on the docks. “Try to put a little more feeling into your performance today, please. Make it believable or make yourself scarce!”
Justyn glared at him as he stomped up the stage, but still nodded. Based on the look on his face, she was certain that, had there been a wall within punching distance, he would have happily crushed his knuckles for the opportunity to punch it. Rebecca felt sorry for him. She knew what it was like to be harassed by the director. Since the incident, he had actually been giving Rebecca a little bit of a reprieve, but she didn’t expect that to last forever. She wasn’t sure if it was because he felt sorry for her or because her performance had actually improved. She
did
feel more in sync with Lucy than ever, perhaps because their plights were so similar. Rebecca used to think of her character as weak and pathetic, but she finally understood why the poor woman had swallowed a bottle of poison and lost her mind. Justyn, too, seemed to be channeling Sweeney Todd’s frustrations as he prepared for the first scene.
The stage was set with the glorious backdrop of a painted dock. The water was shadowed with only a slight glimmer of moonlight touching its surface. Like everything else in the grisly musical drama, the scenery had to be dark. Even though they were still in their plain clothes, Justyn and Quinn both embodied their respective characters. Quinn, playing the young, bright-eyed sailor, was staring out into the crowd with a happy, boyish grin, singing in his resounding tenor about his joyous return to London. Then Justyn picked up the song in much darker, deeper tones, and with words that seemed to have more meaning to him now than they had on any of the previous occasions he had sung them.
“London is a place where civil men are few.
They devour all that’s good with the crap they spew.
‘Til there’s nothing left but hate and greed.
And only the corrupt can possibly succeed.”
Rebecca couldn’t possibly see how Professor Carter could have a problem with Justyn’s performance that day. He managed to look completely disinterested in the world around him, yet completely furious, all at the same time. He stood still as a statue, with no expression on his face, yet the anger and the absolute loathing for the world was clearly visible in his eyes and in the heated tremble of his voice. He always did have a splendidly brooding stage presence, especially when his own emotions mirrored those of the character he portrayed. It was a horribly beautiful and truly chilling performance.
“Hey.”
Rebecca jumped almost ten feet in the air when someone placed a hand on her shoulder. When she turned and saw it was only Megan, she settled down. It was nice to see she still had at least one friend. It was actually Megan’s first day back since the incident with the pizza. Of the whole cast, she had been hit the hardest by the food poisoning and had been laid up for days. She still looked a little pale, but it only made her seem that much more in character with the ivory-skinned Johanna.
“It’s good to see you’re back,” Rebecca whispered as they waited behind the stage for their turn to go on. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” Megan said with a wave of her hand, giving Rebecca that tentative, nervous look everyone seemed to be giving her. “How are
you
?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Liar.” Megan accused.
Rebecca sighed. “You’re right. I’m a basket case.”
Megan put her arm around her. “It’s okay, you know. You’re allowed to be upset about what happened. Honestly, I don’t know how you’re coping at all.”
“I’m
not
coping,” Rebecca admitted. “I’m just existing. I’m not sure if that’s the same thing.”
“Listen, Quinn is having a huge party at his frat house tomorrow,” Megan told her. “The whole cast is going to be there. Why don’t you and Justyn come too? Maybe it will cheer you up a little. At the very least, it might take your mind off things.”
Rebecca wasn’t sure how a room full of strangers getting drunk and being obnoxious was going to help her make her feel better. Especially when she might completely freak out if someone accidently bumped into her.
“I don’t know—” she started.
“Oh, come on, Bec!” Megan interrupted. “Do it for me? If you don’t come, I’ll be left all alone with
Livy
, and … oops! I’m up!”
Megan dashed out onto the stage where Quinn was waiting just seconds before Professor Carter’s eyes bulged out of his head. Rebecca watched from the sidelines, hidden behind the heavy curtains, as their characters made plans to elope and cried out “Oh, won’t you just kiss me?” at the end of every refrain. When they finally did embrace at the close of the song, Rebecca could tell it wasn’t feigned. Love was definitely budding between Megan and Quinn. Despite her own woes, Rebecca was happy for her friend. But it was obvious not everyone felt that way. Chad and Scott were too wrapped up in themselves to notice Rebecca was standing there as they made their way to the stage, but before they stepped out, Rebecca couldn’t help but overhear them talking.
“That bitch is smokin’ hot, isn’t she?” Scott asked.
Rebecca could only assume he meant Megan since they were salivating as they watched her perform. Not unlike how Judge Turpin and Beadle looked with so much longing upon the sweet and innocent Johanna. Really, if not for the modern-day slang they used, she might have thought their conversation was part of the show.
Chad shrugged. “She sounds a little too much like Minnie Mouse, but I guess she’s okay. I’d bang her. But she’s too whiny for more than just a quickie.”
Rebecca had no idea how they didn’t hear her grunt with disgust.
“I don’t know what she sees in that skinny twerp,” Scott continued. “I might just have to make a play for her at the party tomorrow night. You’ll see. I’ll get a piece of that ass. Whether she likes it or not.”
That was all she heard before they took their place in the limelight. Rebecca shook her head a few times, still unsure how such awful people could come wrapped in such appealing packages. After they moved on, she stepped a little further back into the curtains, enjoying her spot in the shadows. She wasn’t in the next act, and she wanted to stay hidden as long as possible so she wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. She did such a good job of making herself invisible that Livy and Justyn didn’t notice her there as they approached the sidelines to wait for their next scene to begin. Yet Rebecca could see them clearly and hear every word they said. At first, Livy was just complaining about Frankie messing up some of his lines. Justyn didn’t even seem to be listening. As she babbled, he flinched and put a hand on his shoulder. When Livy noticed him grimace, she actually shut up and looked him over with honest concern.
“What’s wrong, Justyn? You haven’t been yourself lately.”
He shrugged. “Nothing, really. My shoulder just bothers me sometimes. I have an old … injury that acts up.”
“Well, maybe I can help with that.”
Livy walked up beside Justyn and licked her black lips as her hands slid across his neck and shoulders in the most sensual way possible. She made sure to lean against him so her above-average breasts brushed against his elbow. From her spot behind the curtain, Rebecca balled her hands into fists. She hated seeing someone else put their hands on Justyn, especially Livy.
Especially
when it was obviously more than just a friendly gesture. Yet it still wasn’t enough to make her come out of her hiding spot. Luckily, Justyn didn’t seem any more comfortable with Livy’s advances than Rebecca was. He shrugged her hands away before she could even attempt a massage and backed up a few steps.
“I appreciate the offer, but it’s actually really sensitive. Only Becca can really help when it’s like this.”
Livy wasn’t so easily persuaded when it came to something she wanted. “Well, Becca isn’t around right now. But
I
am, and believe it or not, I can be gentle.” She gave him a wicked smile. “Though I must admit—there are some things that I prefer a little rough.”
She moved closer to him again, but when she tried to touch him, Justyn knocked her hands away. “I told you I’m not interested, all right? Just back off!”
“Geesh,” Livy said with a small pout. “I was just trying to help. You don’t have to be so mean.”
Rebecca heard the expert catch in her voice. She saw the actress’s eyes well with phony waterworks. She was playing the role of the wounded damsel on the verge of tears to perfection. It was a role a sweetheart like Justyn could never ignore.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just tired, and my head is pounding. I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”
Livy laughed sarcastically. “Imagine that. I never pictured your sweet little Becca to be the type of vixen who keeps her man up all hours of the night in the throes of passion.”
“Very funny.” He was getting annoyed again. “Actually, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. Just until Becca feels better about what happened.”
“Are you
kidding
me?” Livy sneered. “She’s making you sleep on the sofa when she knows you have a bum shoulder ? Sheesh. That’s really selfish.”
Justyn shook his head and played with the ammonite pendant around his neck. “She’s not
making
me do anything. I volunteered. She just needs a little space.”
“Poor little thing,” Livy sang, quoting the play.
“It’s not a joke, Livy,” Justyn told her. “What happened to Becca … it’s really awful.”
“Really?” Livy didn’t sound very sympathetic. “I heard she got away.”
“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going though, and—”
“Oh, poor dear,” Livy interrupted in her most sarcastic sing-song voice. “Poor little thing.”
Justyn shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m even bothering to tell you any of this.” He sounded disgusted.
Rebecca felt a little repulsed as well, but she wasn’t sure if it was with Livy or with herself. Some of what the Gothic girl had said rang true. Though, of course, there were more tasteful ways of saying it. Rebecca had never even considered what sleeping on the cramped loveseat would do to Justyn’s bad shoulder. She really
was
a selfish brat.
“You’re telling me because I’m your friend,” Livy told him, sounding serious and sincere for the first time since the conversation started. “And apparently you
need
a friend right now, since you’re silly little brat of a girlfriend doesn’t know how good she has it.”
“Really, Livy? I would expect this type of reaction from Scott or Chad, but you’re a woman. Can’t you put yourself in her place for just a minute? Don’t you have any compassion?”
Livy snorted and threw her hands up in the air. “Well,
excuuuusssse
me, Justyn! I’m sorry that I’m not feeling all sorry for your pretty little girlfriend. But you know what? I worked my ass off for years to get my scholarship. My mom was dead and my dad ran off before I was born, so I did it all alone while I lived with my lush aunt who wouldn’t have even noticed if I came home or not.
Becca
just had a scholarship handed to her after one lucky performance. I’m not jealous, you know. It just makes me sick that she doesn’t appreciate what she has and goes around sulking with that ‘poor me’ attitude when she was
everything
she could ever want. She has
you
, and she doesn’t even appreciate
that
. If she can’t learn to be grateful for what she has, she should step aside and let a real woman have a chance at making you happy!”
Justyn shook his head. “Wow, Livy, I didn’t realize you’ve been through so much….”
“You don’t know the half of it!” Livy snapped, and for a moment her black lips curled into an angry sneer.
“
But
,” Justyn continued, unfazed, “I don’t see Becca the way you do. I love her. That isn’t going to change. So, I’m sorry, but whatever you think is going to happen between us … it just
won’
t.”