Demon Chained (Shadowfae Chronicles) (26 page)

My fingers ache to let her out right away, prove to her I can keep my promises at least some of the time, and the words flicker like a sweet kiss on my tongue. Jewel, come out and forgive me and say everything's okay.

But we're still not safe. And what if she's still bloated and sick from Joey's damn poison? I think the smoke will make her better, but I can't be sure. It's too risky.

I hunker there for a moment, breathless, peering out at the street where traffic grinds by beyond bushes and a row of parked cars. What now? I could steal a car, take us away. But none of them look old enough to hotwire bare-handed. They've all got kill switches, or chips in their ignitions. Too many fucking rich people in Albert Park.

Besides, I've nowhere to go. My place is a dead loss now the DiLucas are gunning for me. Likewise Unseelie Court. Jewel's is too dangerous. And I don't have any cash to get us a room.

I flip my phone out—the real one, not Tran's—and switch it on to check the time, covering the screen with my mangled hand so light can't escape. It's only just gone midnight. Still five or six hours before dawn, when I have to give her up.

A shiver races over my skin like a cold breeze. I don't want to go to Kane's just yet.

I wipe my wet face with my forearm, smearing blossom and dark blood. Maybe the casino, or an all-night movie theatre. But a public place won't help me, not if Delilah's goons come searching. And my heart twinges sharply at the thought of letting Jewel out where other people can see. I don't want to share her. Not for the last few hours we'll get.

My phone quivers, twice, again. A pile of waiting text messages. I flip through them. They're all the same, forwarded through a dozen different numbers. Fight's on, Valenti on DiLuca, some dingy back street in Fitzroy. All my charming friends have texted me. There's even one here from Rajah, headed
thought u might get off on this xx
.

I think of Joey, spitting green foam on the floor, helpless but still alive. I couldn't kill him. Maybe that makes me a better person than he is. Maybe it just makes me a coward. Gavain might think so, wild and magnificent with his claws in Delilah's throat.

Guilt snags me like a delinquent fish hook. Gavain's never once asked for my help. He's never asked me for anything he didn't have the right to.

But if I'd wanted a fight, I could have stayed put. I delete the messages and slip the phone away. Thanks, guys, but no thanks.

Yesterday, I'd have been there with switchblades and a pocket full of ball bearings, insane to kick some DiLuca butt. But somehow, after Joey, it doesn't seem like so much fun anymore. Maybe, I don't need it anymore.

And I can't waste my last night with her scrapping in some dirty gutter.

The air's thick and grimy in my throat, and I taste salty trepidation. It isn't like she'll care what the fuck I do. It's all the same to her. Still, I can at least try to do something nice for her, even if she won't accept it. Hell, I wouldn't if I was her.

I poke my head up and peer out into the street. Not a lot of movement. They're still looking for me inside, and without Joey to tell them what to do, they're slow and stupid. Swiftly I wipe muck from my ripped hands, secure the lamp under my arm and creep out into the street. I pass a slow-cruising grey van, a bunch of teenagers in a shiny white convertible. A skinny banshee hurtles by on a moped, her long silver hair fluttering, her lips stretched wide as she howls to the wind. No one's behind me, and cautious relief raises bumps on my hot skin. I might just get away with this.

I slink to the end of the street, dart across the highway where headlights flash by in a golden haze, and hop over the little wire fence into the shadowy midnight of the park.

Across the soft lawn, my bruised foot squelching. The soft chirp of insects, fading traffic noise. Manicured green bushes, flowering trees, a paved path with an old-fashioned lamp post shining alone. Nearby, a clump of overhanging wattles, warm and safe, a little light, a little shelter. No one can see in from the road, no one will hear us. I'm not being followed. They've no reason to look for me here.

I duck under the drooping yellow blossoms and settle myself against the tree trunk, the lamp in my lap. I stretch my back, the bark digging in like a pleasant but primitive massage. It's nice here, peaceful, a distant whiff of summer blossom that reminds me of being young and alive.

Then my legs cramp, just to fuck me up. The pain isn't nice. It reminds me that this is no time to be smelling the flowers and watching the bees buzz.

I grit my teeth and stretch my screaming muscles out. The pain subsides, reluctant. Damn sugar levels. Should've eaten more. Maybe before I let her out, I'll go for a kebab or a pizza. Or a kebab and a pizza. Hell, I'll do pretty much anything to avoid seeing her look at me like that again.

But my blood shudders, anxious, and my mouth's sticky and wet. I know I can't put this off any longer. I lift the cold lamp, and just for a moment I wish none of this had to happen.

That I could steal her away from Kane and set her free.

That I wasn't so shit scared of hell that I'll do anything to stay above ground, even if it means she suffers.

But I can't. I am. I have to.

"Jewel." My voice splinters, glassy in my throat. I swallow, and it never tasted more foul. "Jewel, come out, please."

***

Chapter Twenty-Six

The spell netted me like a fish, and denial screamed raw and bleeding from my soul.

But there was nothing I could do. My particles scintillated and coalesced, energy shimmering, and I popped out with my heart convulsing and my eyes squeezed shut against the screeching flames of hell.

Thick wattle blossom greeted my nose, mixed with the leafy smell of mown grass. Warm breeze caressed my freshly made skin and tickled through my hair, not harsh or burning but gentle. Insects burbled. Traffic buzzed in the distance, ordinary. Un-scary. If this was hell, they'd redecorated.

I squinted my eyes open. Night-time, backlit in orange by the neon-stained city sky. Dim wattle fronds, overhanging in a glint of pale streetlight, the branches bobbing softly in summer breeze. Pebbles and fallen leaves gleamed in the short green lawn beneath. And then my body warmed to the faint, rich scent of damaged skin.

Tam, dirty and beautiful, his back propped against the smooth tree trunk, my lamp cradled in his lap. The streetlight's glow caressed him, eerie, and he stared at me, his throat bobbing in a swallow. "You okay?"

My thoughts dimmed,  like I'd slipped on a pair of sunglasses, but it didn't darken my fury. "You're queen of the stupid fucking question, you know that?"

He wiped his bleeding lip. "You were puffed up like a water bomb. It's gone down. I guess that's a yes."

I realized he was right, and my cheeks heated. In my anxiety, I'd forgotten the venom. But he hadn't. For a cheap, lying, thieving son of a whore, he was doing the worst impression of a selfish bastard I'd ever seen.

"Never mind the damn poison. What's going on? Why are you still here? Aren't you supposed to hand me over to your owner like a good little lapdog?"

He stretched to his feet, wiping stained palms on his jeans. "Still a few hours before dawn. I thought . . . well, I thought maybe you'd want . . ." He dragged one hand through his hair, leaving a smear, and his scarlet-shot gaze scraped me. "Fuck. Why you gotta make this harder than it already is?"

Laughter ground in my throat. I should have seen this coming. He'd realized he only had a few hours left with the magic wish girl. I was in for a night of Tam-flavored fantasy, and not the hot, wet, oh-my-god-kiss-me-again kind. Bring on the moon and french fries. "Well, I'm sorry if the little matter of my life inconveniences you, Tam. That's a real bitch."

But my eyes swelled, and I blinked back tears. They were all the same. Just wanted me helpless, a thing to be used and discarded. All they cared about was the magic. Not one of them ever cared about me, Jewel, the girl behind the smoke. Even Javier showed his true color in the end. I'd never learn.

And after tonight, I'd be shackled to some petulant demon lord, no doubt vain and capricious just like Delilah. I'd fall for him, the way I fell for Luna and Javier and Tam, and like them, he'd break my heart.

Tam just looked at me, and my anger frothed. He was so damn casual. "Don't just stand there like you haven't already made up your mind. Get on with it. What is it you want? Money? Fame? Fairy boys?"

He laughed, dark hair tangling as he tossed his head. "Come again?"

"Don't pretend." I waved my arms, irritation springing into my nerves. "Wishes, Tam. You know the words. Just get on with it, before your time runs out."

But he looked at me like I'd stolen his ice cream, and I swear his lips actually quivered. "Fine. You know what? Just get lost. Leave me the fuck alone. You can do that without me saying your name, can't you?"

"You've got a bloody nerve. This is all your fault, remember? You dragged me into this and all you do is push me away."

He leaned against the tree trunk and averted his face. "You'll know Kane when you see him. Blond, sharp suit, no sense of humor. You'll love him to death. It's been fun. See ya. Bye."

My heart clogged with despair. All I could do was blame. I hated this ambivalence, this confusion. Either he wanted me or he didn't. Damn him. "Christ, you're cold."

Tam's mouth tightened, and his knuckles crackled with tension. "What else do you want from me, darlin'? I never asked you for anything. I never made you do anything you didn't want. I didn't even make love to you, though God knows it nearly killed me to walk away."

Heat swept my skin, rising from my belly to the top of my head, and I was glad the light was dim. "Oh, yeah. Whatever, tough guy. You were scared shitless and you know it. What's the problem, never done it with a woman while you're sober?"

"Hi-fucking-larious. What's your excuse? Never done it without your
master
giving you instructions?"

My hands clenched, itching to slap him. "Screw you, Tam. You're all for giving orders when it suits you."

"Only when I have to. That's what I promised you, and that's what I've done."

Inside, I knew I was being unfair. He'd kept that promise, even if only to assuage his own guilt. But his promise alone broke all the rules. This wasn't how it was supposed to work. "Sure, you promised. Big of you. Not stopping you handing me over to your cozy demon pal, is it?"

Now it was his turn to flush, and dark blood spread, tinting his arms, his face. He slammed his fists against the tree trunk at his sides. "If I don't do this, I die. For good. Okay? Is that simple enough for you? What part of
I don't have a goddamn choice
don't you understand?"

"You're already dead, Tam!" My voice stretched, a near-scream, but I didn't care. "You might be walking around and shooting off your smart mouth, but until you let your little girl go and start living your own life, you might as well be face down in a bloody landfill."

"Don't talk about my daughter." Suddenly he was closer, catlike.

Had I blinked? I hadn't seen him move. Voice flat and dangerous, eyes mirrored cold. Even his muscles seemed to swell with rage, glistening in the dim lamplight. My mouth dried, and that delicious scent drugged me like dark fairy candy.

I shivered, warm and aware, and it just made me angrier. My blood sizzled, and all the resentment and frustration I'd borne for him over the last forty-eight hours came spilling out.

"Yeah, go on. Scare me away, like you do everyone else. Get rid of me so you don't have to think about it. Hide behind your dying body, which you carry off pretty damn well for a corpse, by the way, so don't pretend you don't know you're still sexy as hell, thank you very much, go ahead and blame being dead so no one will figure out you're terrified of responsibility. God, you're so transparent you'll shatter."

I heaved in a breath.

His fingers quivered, shining wet in the dim light, and my skin prickled. Had I provoked him too much? I'd seen him land a few good ones on Joey DiLuca. He'd flatten me without breaking a sweat.

But he didn't. He glowered at me, and I glared back. Infuriating, stubborn, thick-headed man.

He palmed his bleeding forehead, swiping dark mess from his eyes. "You want to know what I'm really afraid of, darlin'? Want to know what hell really is?"

"I'm sure I'll find out soon enough, thanks very much." I twitched my chin high and turned away. He's gonna give me to a demon? Fine. Doesn't mean I have to spend one more second listening to his bullshit.

"It isn't pits of lava and grinning little red bastards with pitchforks or any shit like that, okay? Sure, there are monsters and all. But you know what hell is, Jewel? Hell is
guilt
."

A long-dead sorcerer's icy fingers squeezed my heart. I halted. "What?"

"Hell is one big dirty room packed full of everything you ever screwed up and everyone you ever fucked over. Joey shot me while my daughter was still alive. But in hell, I saw him kill her. I saw her, dead because I couldn't protect her."