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Being around the Rawlings’ so much had allowed her to develop their way of going about things. She learned not to bring up things she’d rather not deal with. Like the fact she was waiting on someone who was not waiting on her. When she’d let herself get that dark, she’d miss Nolan all the more, missed his smile, how he could sum up the strife and find the good with little effort.

In a haze one warm spring day she was walking back to her class from lunch, the last one she had for the day—all the seniors were ‘skipping’ afterward to get ready for their big weekend.

Justice was only halfway listening to her friend Kayla talk about the hotel rooms they all had in Savannah for the next night; they were just down from where the prom was going to be. None of it made much sense to Justice. It sounded like they were all spending a fortune to get dressed up only to show up for pictures then head to the hotel. Pointless. Especially when you were counting pennies so you could go to school in the fall. 

Murdock had ended up buying her dress, and the rest, she didn’t care—there was going to be no up do, or makeup, or nails or anything else. She’d smile, make whatever memory, act liked she cared, and then move on.

“Holy shit,” Kayla said. “Oh my God, is he here for you?”

Justice lifted her gaze from the squares on the linoleum floor she was counting as she walked, an oddity she did when she was just trying to mull through whatever temporary moment she was stuck in.

Instantly the lackluster sheen of her life faded like someone had unlatched her prison door.

He was there. Declan, in uniform, was standing before her classroom door talking to her teacher, one he’d had the year before.

The teacher kept talking, but the moment Declan met her stare the world for both Justice and Declan faded away.

Other students walked into the classroom looking up at Declan with fear in their eyes, and rightly so. He was not only breathtaking in his uniform, he was demanding. Ageless.

It didn’t matter that it had been eight months since she had been in the same room with him, this close, he still had the same effect on her, and she was damn pissed at him for it.

Somewhere in the haze the bell had rung and everyone went to class—everyone but Justice. The teacher who always left the door open, shut it, leaving her alone in the hall with him. The act was meant for privacy, but all it did was put a spotlight on Justice who had all but turned the color of a rose.

Declan’s gaze moved over every inch of her and once he was sure his deep voice would be steady, he held out his hand. In the palm of it was the necklace that matched the bracelet Boon had given her months before. “Happy Birthday.”

She breathed a tight smile. “Um...do you know when my birthday is?”

“Eleven weeks, four days and give or take a few hours ago.”

She furrowed her brow, refusing to take the gift. She wasn’t sure if the hope was worth it, if the way she felt five minutes ago was not better. At least five minutes ago, she knew what to expect. She’d found a way to agree with the pain.

“Better late than never, huh,” she said finally.

He tensed his brow, not sure how to take her reaction. “I was deployed. I told you I would be.”

A short tour, mission, whatever. Yeah, he’d said as much, but it was said in passing. He didn’t say he was going to cut off all communication. Now she was not only mad at him for not telling her, but mad she had been angry instead of worrying about him. This boy drove her insane, he really did.

She searched his gray eyes shattered with blue rays finding a truth. As far as he knew or was concerned, he’d done nothing wrong. “First chance I’ve had.” He reached for her hand and put the necklace in her palm. “I’m not looking for a promise, I get it. This is hard. But I wanted you to know I thought of you.”

“First chance?”

Declan gave a shallow nod. He could have called a few days ago, but this was the first second he had a chance to lay eyes on her. He’d been making plans, checking on things with his family as he made his way here. “I texted you, told you it would be a minute—not to worry about me. To stay strong, lean on my brothers if you needed to.” And she didn’t text back.

Shock glinted in her blue eyes.

“You didn’t get it?”

Her relived stare told him she hadn’t.

“I gotta get you a real phone. Fuck that pay by the minute shit.”

All Justice could think was that better be the reason she didn’t get the text. It better not be because he was just trying to smooth things over.

Declan stepped closer. “I’ve got a few days...I was going to head up to around Mt. Mitchell for the weekend, see if there’s anything I missed before.”

She nodded and looked down, wishing he had just mailed the gift. Last time she was face to face with him it was for less than an hour, and it was looking like this time was going to be less than ten minutes.

“I asked Bell already. She said you could come with us if you wanted.”

“Us?”

“Boon, Tobias, and an old friend of Nolan’s.”

“You’re serious?”

He playfully narrowed his gaze. “Am I serious about having you at my side for the rest of this day and the next two, looking at you when I want?” He bit his lip before he went on. “I couldn’t be more serious.”

Justice couldn’t help it. She launched herself on him and he picked her up and spun her in the hall, raising his head only to catch her lips. “I need you, baby,” he said with more pain than she expected.

Justice slowly slid down him, her hands framing his face. “We’re going to find him.”

He swayed his head and glanced away. “Everyone says it’s been too long.”

“Not me.”

He nodded stiffly. “You ready?”

J
ustice didn’t even bother to tell her teacher she was leaving. Declan took her right to her house. She ran in, determined to be packed and gone within moments. She wanted out of this town, and for him to be at her side, the threat of it not happening was too great.

When she had her bag in hand, and had told her grandmother bye and thank you for the millionth time, she found Declan outside near the old shop.

He didn’t move when she approached. Guardedly her arms slid around his waist and she leaned her forehead to the center of his back.

“I can sense your fear here,” his husky voice said after a moment.

The whole time he had been standing there, Declan tried to imagine what she went through. He was mad, but he was proud, too. If she could survive Brent Rose, she could take anything.

“A temporary demon,” she said quietly.

“Who still brings you nightmares.”

When her hold on him flinched he knew he was right. He now had more than a few friends who had seen some serious shit, survived it, and they all had the same look in their eye he could see in Justice’s.

He turned and framed her face in his hands, then brushed his lips across hers. “My Justice.”

Her hands clutched his sides. “Is the careful time over?” She knew she sounded like the love sick girl he left at home, that his answer would make or break their weekend, but the sooner she knew the truth, the faster she could prepare for her fall.

“Yeah.” There was no joy or relief in his voice. He looked to his side at the rubble then back at her. “I’ll get someone to clear this away. It’ll help.”

Again, no clarity. She didn’t even try to push him for a clear answer. A commitment. They both needed this weekend, a reprieve from their wars, and she wasn’t going to rob them of it.

They spent the next days following the path Nolan was supposed to take again. The time with Tobias and Boon was awkward, the brothers would all but kill each other one second and be laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe the next.

Every time someone dared to say they were wasting their time and Nolan was gone and they needed to come to terms, Declan would lose it and blame everyone for the fact that Nolan hadn’t been found. He’d say he couldn’t do it all. He couldn’t constantly search like they could.

The old friend of Nolan’s who had come along, who was actually navigating them all off the beaten path most would take, was a girl.

Dawson Tomorrow. She was a bit older than Justice, already in college. In most cases, Justice and other girls didn’t mesh well, mainly because Justice never had their same interests—or carefree problems.

It was different with Dawson. When the boys would fight, she’d take off. Justice followed her every time, which was easier said than done. Dawson was fit and agile and moved twice as fast when she was trying to outrun an emotion.

No one ever said, but Justice was sure Dawson was the girl who had broken Nolan’s heart the summer before his senior year. The one who stole just a glimmer of the constant joy he had.

“You all right?” Justice asked her when she finally made it to the top of the cliff Dawson had hiked to. Her deep auburn hair shone in the sun, her tan skin, kissed with beauty marks here and there, did as well.

Her shoulders tensed as the echo from below delivered the sound of the Rawlings’ boys saying their piece. Arguing for an end...for hope.

Dawson looked over her shoulder at Justice. She didn’t bother to smile. “Why are you agreeing with Declan? Why do you have hope?”

Justice lifted her chin, hearing the challenge in this girl’s tone. “Because I know him.”

A pissed smirk came to Dawson. “Do you now?”

Justice narrowed her stare. “Nolan is a fighter.”

“Yeah, they all are,” Dawson said quickly. She came from a long line of jarheads.

She stepped up to Justice. “You listen to me. You’re in it deep now,” she glanced down the way to where the boys were. “Those boys love you. If you’re here for show, if this is just a gig for you—get out now.”

“Go to hell,” Justice sneered. “You don’t know shit about me.”

Dawson nearly laughed. “Oh, I do. I heard about you over the years.” She nodded when she saw Justice’s shocked expression. “That’s right, you may have been one of the few and far between girls they trusted at home, but out here—in
any
wilderness—it was me. I was the one keeping up with them, running circles around them.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous? Is this a territorial battle or some stupid shit?”

Dawson chucked her chin up. “No. If anything, like you, I tried to outrun them. The pull they have.” Dawson nodded her head toward her. “Don’t say you didn’t.”

Justice’s gaze abruptly shifted to the setting sun across the valley.

Dawson moved in her line of sight. “A jarhead has his grip on you, love sick. He has a war there and here now—and you’re right in the middle.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Justice snapped.

Dawson crossed her arms. “It’s not going to be easy. Any of this. If he’s gone—,” She stopped when her voice cracked. “When what happened to Nolan is known, it will change Declan more than any war he sees.”

“It’s not any easier now.”

“Now he has hope. Now he has a chance.”

“You should, too.”

When she tried to move away, Justice turned into the aggressor and put herself in Dawson’s face. “You tell me— you still feel him?”

“What?” Dawson said with a sneer as her eyes welled.

“I can tell you loved Nolan. Tell me if you feel him. Tell me deep down if you think he’s gone—say so if it’s true.”

Dawson couldn’t, not for the world.

“That’s why,” Justice said calmly. “I have hope—Declan has hope because we still
feel
him.”

Dawson’s gaze sharply moved over Justice. “I like you, don’t fuck that up.” She went to step down the side of the hillside but hesitated. “Look...if you need someone to...help you figure out the life, call me.”

Justice glanced down to the now silent valley, which suddenly erupted into laughter signaling the brawl was over. “You can count on it.”

***

A
cross the weekend the moment the sun set, Declan pulled Justice into their tent. The layers of clothes they were wearing to balance out the cool spring mountain nights were shred instantly; their kisses were starved, and so were their touches. There was no way for either of them to get enough of the other.

It was a torturous bliss because neither of them knew how to be quiet when the other drove them wild, but they had to be. Feet away in different tents is where the others were.

She’d end up biting down on his shoulder, or he’d cup her mouth when he felt her starting to lose control. For him it was much the same, her trying to steal the moan from his lips with a kiss, him holding the sound in only to make a face that would make her laugh.

“Watch,” he’d say. “There is a fire inside you, baby.” It blew his mind how easily her skin would blush under his touch, no matter how many times he touched her, the flame was there.

They’d stare at each other for long hours, too, and whisper their secrets.

“Are you scared?” she asked, tracing his face. It was a bold question, one that could cover any topic. For all he knew, she could be asking if he was scared about the mission he was sure he was leaving for that year, or about Nolan...then again she could have been asking if he was scared of her.

“Yes,” he said quietly, tracing her lips with the edge of his thumb. He was terrified of it all, but what scared him the most was holding her and knowing how measured their time together was.

A few moments later he said, “You don’t have to wait...”

“No, I don’t,” she admitted. When she felt him tense and saw the anger flicker in his eyes, she felt relief. Her hand slid down his bare chest, all the way down until she found the swelling length of him. “You’re ready.”

A smile busted across his face as he fumbled to find his near empty box of condoms.

Seconds later, when she felt him slide in and they both sighed, her hands reached up for his strong neck then she rose and whispered against his ear. “I love you, Declan Rawlings.” When his electrified gaze met hers, when he stilled inside of her, she smiled. “I don’t have to wait...I want to.”

He didn’t smile the way she thought he would, instead his thrust was fierce, so hard she almost cried out. Before she could, he rolled with her, placing her on him then he rose. The abrupt change in position caught her off guard and stole her breath as her body eased down, meeting his penetrating thrust.