Deploy (26 page)

When he felt her start to build, his hands moved over her body then took her lips, stealing the sounds she was trying to keep quiet. Against her lips he whispered, “I love you.
Always
have.”

She knew then, like she knew months before, it was different with them. They were real.

Across the entire weekend that was the only time either of them said how they felt, and outside their tent their touches were guarded, something that only confused her more. But she knew she would have plenty of time to think about it once he was gone again.

Before the weekend was over he had gotten her a phone, one that would allow him to contact her every way there was. One way or another, she’d get what messages he could send.

As they held each other a few hours before dawn on Monday morning, she fought not to cry. His kiss was tender, but as it had been all weekend, was starved.

“You make this so hard,” he breathed against her lips. When she dipped her head, his thumb lifted her chin as his gaze searched hers. “You make it bearable, too.”

“Hurry back,” she said through a teary smile as she took steps back, not letting go of his hand until she had to.

She knew he’d been approved to come home for forty-eight hours for the Rally and she knew he was going to call. A lot. Those were the only certainties she had as she watched him leave. As she felt the ache set in. The world was wrong again.

***

H
umiliated. Laughing stock of the entire school, and town. Murdock would never live it down as long as he lived. He had waited all weekend to put Justice in her place. And then she didn’t even bother to show up for school.

Fuck that.

By the time he reached her house that afternoon, he’d already downed three beers. There wasn’t a car out front when he got there but he decided he was going in any way. The princess needed her damn crown.

The whole fucking school knew they were going through some shit, but still tight. Tragic is what they called them and every fucking girl ate it up. They all wanted to make him feel better.

Murdock was sure Declan was a said and done deal. He had gotten good at reading Justice and he knew when she had heard from him and when she hadn’t just by the lack of luster in her gaze.

He’d strike then and make her laugh, pull her away from the Rawlings’, and she’d come willingly, too, because all those assholes looked alike and it was easier for her not be face to face with them.

Months back he was on a roll with her, he had even managed to kiss her. It didn’t go where he wanted it to, but it was something, more than they had done since that fucking storm blew into town over a year before.

Then he saw it, a text from the asshole saying he was sorry he hadn’t been able to call, and told her was going to miss the date he had been waiting for. He had some covert jarhead shit to do and he’d call her in her a few months.

Delete.

Nope. Murdock was not going to lose any ground, he had a date he was waiting on, too—the night he and Justice were going to spend in Savannah, the night he was going to get her drunk or high enough that she’d finally fucking give in.

His. Done. Over.

What happened? A perfect morning, he took her to school, bought her breakfast, they laughed at a few friends, made fun of the hype they were putting behind prom. They had a few classes together, then lunch.

Then the next thing he knew the whole school was going crazy with gossip about how Declan, one of the poor Rawlings’ whose brother was missing, showed up decked out in uniform and stole Justice right out of class.

He was sure it was bullshit. But no, by the time he made it to her house that afternoon, she was gone—like out of town gone. Not only was he fucking stood up like a bad habit, she didn’t even fucking call.

Murdock asked everyone— looking like a chump— if she had said where she was. He even went to his dad and said he thought something shady was going down.

Turns out Bell, her awesome guardian—not—allowed her to go on some weekend getaway with the jarhead asshole.

And there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do about it but gossip. Justice Rose was a consenting legal adult weeks from graduation.

If irony was not cruel enough, they had been elected prom king and queen—yeah, he’d looked like a tool standing up there by himself.

A thousand times a day he wished that asshole Declan was at the bottom of the Savanna—he’d killed the wrong brother for sure.

When he finally did find Justice, she was lying across her bed, staring out the window, lost and broken all over again.

He gently let the crown he had fisted in his hand go and set it on her end table.

“Every time, Justice. This shit is toxic.”

She only pressed her lips together to keep in her emotions, and like a whooped jackass he found himself heaving a breath out then sitting down on the edge of her bed. He reached to sway his hand across her back, and she let him.

He had few regrets, but the night he listened to her dad and stole a life and then tethered himself to this girl was his biggest. He would have cut his losses long ago, moved on, at the very least avoided the issue of wanting her by not seeing her.

Instead, here he was. All the hype about them, all the time he had spent around her had made him want her, give a damn she was hurt by that jarhead asshole.

One way or another he was going to get this girl right.

J
ustice was going to make it to college. In Savannah. She was still going to live at home. It was cheaper. She and Declan were better than they had ever been. She was able to talk to him almost every day, without someone listening, for hours at times.

Most of the conversation was on their day to day, on the constant search for Nolan, never really on the future. He was still guarded at times and she’d find herself snapping at him when jealousy or suspicion would get the best of her. Which would come right after he displayed the same—in her mind if he was looking for guilt in her, of all people, then he must have something to feel guilty about. 

Her Declan bliss bubble started to disintegrate a week or so before the Rally. Like all the times when he had come home before, just before he arrived communication was near nil, and she just couldn’t deal.

Not when she had already gone through her orientation at school and decided she was sure to die of stress. Even cramming every class into two days so she could work full shifts on the other five didn’t help.

She had no life before, now she would have even less. What pissed her off more than anything was if she failed, if she ended up giving up—all this cash, all the loans and financial aid, mixed in with a few grants, would go up in smoke because she failed.

“We have two extra rooms in this house, maybe we should rent them out. I don’t like the idea of this loan. A grant, the aid, that’s fine,” Bell said, looking over the stuff Justice had across the table.

All Justice heard was, “When you figure out how hard this is and quit, the loan and its interest will still be there.” Which infuriated her.

“Who in this town would you want to live with?” Justice asked with a raised brow.

Bell made a bit of face. Most times she fit in about as well as Justice did. She could make herself fit in for the time period she needed to, but that was about it.

“What about you?” Bell asked.

“Right, my friends would be lining up to pay rent to live with my grandmother, a preacher’s widow who is now dating, and me an overworked, overstressed, non-partying, non-hooking up girl.”

Justice instantly thought of Dawson. She went to the same college and apparently hated everyone there but Justice, including her roommates.

“We’re just cursed or something,” Justice said as she hung her head. It felt like no matter what she did, right or wrong, she hit a wall. She’d worried about money since before she knew what it was and by all accounts always would. She didn’t even want wealth. She wanted to live, and not become old before she ever had the chance to be young.

Bell smirked. “You really should hold back on all the positive vibes you’re putting out, people will think you’re full of it if you’re never down and out.”

Justice smiled then laughed. It was a short lived as her gaze fell back to the bills, to the loan she couldn’t pay even if she did take it.

“I can put an ad up, see what comes of it?” Bell said.

“I’ll just drop a class, maybe two,” she said, knowing even one class with the books would save her a ton.

Before Bell could rebut Justice spotted something out of the corner of her eye, and sighed. There would be no break from Murdock. Ever.

He was going to the same school, only he was staying up there with some friends. She and Murdock were hot and cold, too. They’d fight, he’d threaten her, then vanish and show up a few days later sweet as ever, acting like it never happened.

She walked outside ready to tell him she wasn’t in the mood if the asshole Murdock was present and accounted for.

He was on her side porch. His fair hair was cut short for the summer, his skin golden from where he decided to play a sport or two instead of drink this summer away like his last one.

The girls at school were already eating him up on campus where this whole story about them didn’t really exist. He was free to be a male whore all he wanted without his well-rehearsed speeches.

“What the hell are they doing?” he asked her with a tick of his head to the edge of her property.

At first, Justice only glanced that way. Atticus or Boon usually came by at least once a week to help with the upkeep around the house, but it wasn’t them.

No, it was Declan and a man she didn’t know, but she didn’t care. She took off at a sprint. Seconds later, Declan turned to see her running toward him and held his arms out and she flew into them, kissing his lips as he spun her and laughed.

She hated it and loved it when he did this, not hearing from him and them
boom
, he was there bigger than life. 

At this point, after a heart to heart with her friend Dawson, Justice was sure it was a test. He was preparing himself for a break between them or for it not to feel the same once they were together again. She proved him wrong every time by landing in his arms like this.

The man next him chuckled and once Declan had his fill of her lips, he sat Justice down and ticked his toward his friend. “This is Providence. Did Dawson tell you about him?”

Justice arched a brow. Dawson had, but it was hard to gauge her take on him. Dawson was confident in Providence’s skills but made it a point to tell Justice and every Rawlings who asked that she was keeping her distance. All Justice knew was he was an ex-Marine, and currently a bounty hunter. Dawson also gave the impression he was still contracted in some way by branches of the government.

Her stare moved to Providence to nod hello. Justice wasn’t so certain how he could hunt anything. She was positive someone could see him coming from a mile away. He stood well over six foot, was thick with muscle, more so in the shoulders. It was the hair that drew her to stare, though. She’d never seen a color like it—a blazing copper. The sun bathed in it and drew out highlights of gold. His cheekbones were sharp just like all of his features.

His appearance was as commanding as the dominance in the vibe she felt around him. Like Dawson, he was older than her, even Declan. If she had to guess she’d say he was around Tobias’s age if not a bit more so.

“He’s taking over Nolan’s case.”

“Oh yeah?” Justice asked, trying to catch her breath and settle her pounding heart. You’d never know five minutes before she was in a rut, pulling pennies together. She’d been sucked out of one life and into another within a beat.

“Yeah, he’s one hell of a bounty hunter, and trying to recruit me for when I get out,” Declan said with a playful punch to the guy’s arm.

Justice looked up at him with wide eyes. Getting ‘out’ was never a discussion either of them had. As far as she knew, this was his forever. A forever he hadn’t asked her to come along on and she hadn’t dropped hints that she wanted to.

She knew he counted on her to keep the search up for Nolan at home, and beyond that—Justice had already told him long ago this was her home.

“Sounds...exciting,” was all she managed to say in response.

“He’s already got Tobias interested. When he heard about this case he said he’d do us a solid if we thought it through about joining up down the road.”

Justice shook her head looking for clarity. “Bounty hunter? I’m not seeing the connection.”

Dawson had just told her Providence had connections, and he might be able to cut through some red tape that kept answers the Rawlings’ wanted away. She didn’t realize he would
hunt
Nolan.

Providence reached to shake her hand. “A new angle. I’m good at finding people who do not want to be found.”

Justice’s smile fell a bit. From the gate, and every time someone tried to tell Declan the worst had happened, and they needed peace, a goodbye, they needed to be allowed to grieve, he’d blow up and say if anyone could vanish, completely unplug and survive it was Nolan.

Declan refused to grieve which was alienating him from his family.
“I still feel him, Justice...”
is what he’d say every time she was the only one left standing next to him, once all the blame had been laid again, and the Rawlings’ men ripped their wounds open once more.

“Looks like this ass has grown a pair,” Declan said under his breath, pulling Justice against him.

Justice glanced over her shoulder seeing Murdock making his way to them, and she shared Declan’s mindset. Normally, Murdock would be long gone by now, keeping his distance between himself and this side of her life he chose to pretend didn’t exist.

Providence gave him a once over as he approached then a nod, but kept to what he was saying. “Right, I looked over the investigation so far. It was a cold trail to start with, and it seems cooperation was hard to come by. I’m going to start here, though.”

“Here?” Justice asked, glancing at Murdock who kept a few feet back with his arms crossed over his chest.