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Chapter 5

The Other Side

This was it.  Her last night here at Weston County Hospital and Violet couldn’t sleep. Although sleep was something humans needed, Guardians did not. Merging can be difficult at the start and sometimes the vessel will need the sleep, especially in the beginning of the process. Violet was feeling tired and knew she needed to rest but was fighting it. There is no darkness in her world.  Everything is bright.  As part of her training with the Guardians she had to spend hours in the dark. It was extremely difficult for Violet and was the only part of the training she could not pass. No one understood the intensity of the fear she had while in the darkness and even Violet herself could not explain it. But it was real and it was something she could not overcome. It was also something she was unwilling to succumb to here in this world. She decided to take a walk rather than be alone with her fears of the night.

She peered out the door, noticing all was calm. She saw Nurse Ivy tending to a patient in the other room and scooted past her quietly. She came to an entrance marked ICU and pushed through the door. She walked slowly past each room glancing at all of the people occupying the beds. Violet could tell the people on this floor were in need of a miracle from up above. There were loved ones sleeping on the couches in the family waiting area and a woman in the chapel lighting a candle in prayer. Violet wished she could tell them not to be afraid for their loved ones passing’s, but she knew she could not interfere in any other personal affairs here in this world. The people waiting in these halls would have to rely on their faith.

She came to room 2705 and noticed a little girl watching her as she stood by the door. The girl was young, about seven years old, and her eyes called out to Violet.  She entered the room and closed the door behind her. As she walked toward the girl she could see her fragile little body outlined under the crisp white sheet lying on the bed. She did not look frightened at all, just curious, as Violet approached her. Then the little girl invited her to come closer using her index finger as direction. She just stared at Violet almost as if she could see right into her soul. Restless, she tried to speak.  Violet could not understand what she was saying because she had an oxygen mask over her face. Violet put her hand on her forehead, feeling the burn from her fever, and unfastened the clasp to remove the mask so she could speak.

“Have you come for me?” the little girl asked as she struggled to speak.

“No” she said, “I’m just here to hold your hand but if you decide you are ready for your journey, then that is ok too.” Violet gave her permission to let go if she needed to.

“I am ready.” Olivia replied. “I have been ready for a long time now.”

“But… it’s my mom.  She is not ready to let go,” she said empathetically.

“I see.” Violet saw her dilemma.

“Well, let me tell you a secret.” Violet leaned in to whisper in little Olivia’s ear. “I happen to know for an absolute fact that your mom will understand if you decide you are ready.  While she will miss you when you are gone and probably be sad for a while, she will remember that you will always be with her.
Right here.”
Violet touched her chest pointing to her heart.  “And I can promise you that you will be going to the most beautiful place you have ever seen.  Where you can run and jump and play,” she said, making the little girl smile. “Only you can decide Olivia, if you are truly ready and when you are, you need to know that it’s okay to let go,” Violet explained.

“Why did you say you are not an angel?” the girl asked Violet.

“Because I’m not.”
Violet responded

“Then why do I see your halo?” she said, pointing above Violet’s head.

Violet knew what the little girl was seeing. It was not a halo above her head; it belonged to the angel in the room waiting for the little girl to take her hand and journey to the other side.

“Thank you,” she said in a cute sweet little voice.

“For what?”
Violet asked.

“For letting me know it was okay to go.” She seemed to be calm and at peace with her decision. She closed her eyes and Violet held her hand until she took her last sweet breath. Violet could feel the force lift out of her body, filling the air with a joyous shower of love all around her room. Violet closed her eyes taking in every second of it. There was a soft wind that swept through her hair, blowing it gently across her shoulders. Violet opened her eyes in the last second, watching as she saw the girl reaching out to her Grandmother who was holding out her hand at the end of the tunnel.

It was truly a beautiful thing to witness the journey of the little Olivia’s soul from this world into the next. It gave Violet goose bumps as she watched her soar saying, “Go in peace my little angel. Go be free!” Then in a moment, she was gone. All that remained was her tired little vessel that she had clung to selflessly trying to spare her family the pain.

Violet couldn’t understand why so many people hang on to their lives here just so they don’t hurt the ones they love. Such a heavy burden for a young soul to carry she thought. Understandably, the notion of “Blind Faith” is a concept not so comforting to most human beings. The ability to believe in something you can’t see becomes quite a difficult task. But one they must continue to embrace blindly so that when their time comes, they too will be ready to be led from this world into the next.

Just then Nurse Ivy entered the room. “Violet?” she called to her surprised that she was sitting beside the little girl’s lifeless body. Ivy turned off the machines that had pumped the oxygen to the little girl’s failing heart.

“So sad,” Ivy said.

“She was on the transplant waiting list, but you know how that goes,” Ivy said, wishing it wasn’t the case.

“Her mom will be devastated,” Ivy continued.

“What are you doing down here anyways Ms. Thorne?  Did you know little Olivia?” Ivy questioned.

“No, I don’t think so anyways,” she said.

“I just couldn’t sleep and thought I would visit with some of the patients here. I figured, like me, they would appreciate the company,” Violet explained.

“I’m sure they would.  You know, I was monitoring little Olivia’s vitals all night and she seemed agitated for the last several hours?” Ivy was heading somewhere.  I knew it.

“How long were you in her room?” she asked.

Violet responded, “Just a little while, maybe 30 minutes or so.  Why do you ask?”

“Well because I noticed how calm her vitals were in the last thirty minutes and now I know why,” Ivy concluded.

“Violet”, Ivy put her hands softly on Violet’s face, “you have something rare, a gift that not very many people have here in this world.  It comes from deep within you and it is genuine and beautiful. You have the ability to really see into the souls of those who are frightened and make all their fears go away.  Olivia was very lucky to have you by her side when she passed. I am sure it gave her great comfort. In fact, her heart monitor readings are proof of that.”

Then Violet noticed something strange. It was Ivy, and she began to cry.

“Ivy?  Are you ok?” Violet went to her side.

“Oh sure, I’ll be fine,” she wiped her tears embarrassed by the emotion. “You know it’s just one of the hazards of working here at the hospital,” she explained.

“I understand,” Violet said empathizing with Ivy.

“What about you honey, are you ok?” Ivy asked Violet wondering why she was not shaken by the death of little Olivia.

“Sure I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” Violet said

Suddenly Violet realized that she was human and human beings freak out when someone dies. Violet should probably act traumatized by what she just witnessed with Olivia.

“Yeah,” she said quickly, trying to make a cover for her feelings. “I am probably just in shock from the whole ordeal,” Violet said acting disoriented and slightly freaked out now.

“That’s ok honey.” Ivy put her arm around her and escorted her out of little Olivia’s room. She couldn’t help but notice Vivian seemed like she was a million miles away. She thought perhaps she was thinking about her mom and remembering watching her take her last breath a year ago in this very same room.

Then Ivy said, “Is it your Mom?  Is that why you were here in this room?  You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel like talking about it.”

Wow, I had no idea! I guess when you live in a small town people really do know everything about you. I couldn’t believe Nurse Ivy knew the exact day and room number where Vivian’s mom and Henry’s adoring wife had died.  Actually, I could believe it from Ivy. She was an exceptional nurse and an even better person with a heart of gold. She truly was put on this earth to provide something very special to the residents here in New Castle, Wyoming.  If heaven was looking for an angel…I just found her.

So Vivian’s mom died here a year ago today. That’s it! That’s the trauma trigger for my amnesia. Surely, everyone would understand that. It makes perfect sense that I would repress those memories now on the anniversary of my mother’s death. It will be no one’s fault, no one will get hurt and I can finish what I came here to do.

“I don’t know…maybe it is my mom.” Violet planted the seed with her nurse.

“Well, I’m sure you will find the answers you need when you speak with Evelyn Dawson. She’s a real sweetheart. You’re
gonna
love her. You hang in there honey, everything is going to be alright,” Ivy said rubbing her hands up and down on my arms trying to channel her positive thoughts and sending them my way. “You know, your mother would be very proud of you and how brave you have been coping with everything you have had to go through this past year.  You are a courageous young lady Vivian Thorne, and don’t you forget it.” Ivy gave her a pat on the small of her back and said, “Now scoot you, off to bed!  You need to get some rest if you want to get out of here on Friday…Doctors orders!”

“Say no more Ivy!” Violet shouted from half way down the hall. “See you in the morning!” She waved and was out of Ivy’s sight.

Violet returned to her room and leaped onto the bed. She pulled back her crisp white sheet and hopped under it, resting her head on the soft feather pillow. She lay awake staring at the ceiling,
afraid to close her eyes and enter the darkness to sleep. “Nope,” she thought, “not going to do it. Sorry Vivian, we are not sleeping tonight.”  She reached over and grabbed the IPod again. It had become her passing time hobby here at the hospital. The screen read Sarah McLaughlin. Violet pushed play and began to listening to the song. Violet thought the singer’s voice was beautiful, almost angelic and then the chorus began “In the arms of an angel.”  Violet thought the song seemed rather ironic given the timing, but then she thought “maybe not so ironic at all.”  Violet began to smile and then yelled out “Gabriel…….Message received!”

Suddenly, the light clicked on and there stood Gabriel illuminated by the light.

“You summoned me?” he said laughing at Violet who had just figured out his game.

“Very Clever Gabe.”
  Violet applauded him before smacking him in the arm.

“Ouch!” Gabriel said, “
you
really do pack a punch these days.” He rubbed his arm.

“Yes, I do and don’t push me Gabe or you will see just how much of a punch I can really pack!”

“What are you doing here anyways?  Shouldn’t you be getting things ready for when I get out of here instead of playing word games with my IPod?” she asked.

“I’m just making a much needed pit stop here to see you before the big release.  Actually, I have something for you,” Gabe said as he handed her a tiny white box.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Just open it,” he replied.

Violet opened the box and inside was a delicate necklace with a beautiful gold pendant hanging from it. Violet held the necklace up and noticed the pendant was a tiny angel that appeared to be singing. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s a necklace.  You know, jewelry humans wear around their necks for decoration,” Gabriel explained.

“Yes, I know what it is Gabriel.  My question is, why
are you
giving it to me?” she answered sarcastically.

“You got me!” he said, “I wasn’t really trying to decorate your neck.”

“Duh!” she said again with sarcasm.

“It’s actually a tracker,” Gabriel said.

“A tracker?”
Violet waited for clarification.

“Yes, this little beauty will allow me to find you no matter where you are,” he said.