Desecrating Solomon: Book 1 of 3 (Desecration Series) (9 page)

Chapter Nine

Her entire body burned and screamed for her to lie down and she made her painful three step journey back from the picture on the mantle. Sitting on the bed again, Chaos found herself imagining doing for Solomon what she’d done for the other men in the Order. Before she could stop, her mind had him in the chair by the bed, the one he’d fed her from. He was naked and very beautiful with his legs open and those brilliant blue eyes watching her while she sucked his manhood with practiced perfection. She watched him in her mind as his face filled with that special pleasure.

She suddenly gasped and swallowed, imagining how he would feel under her hands. She was permitted to touch the men but never liked to. She only did because it seemed to make them go faster. But with Solomon… imagining her fingers stroking his inner thighs made her breathless. They would be warm and strong she was sure, like his hands. And his manhood… it would be so very hot. Maybe she wouldn’t go so fast with him. He had gone so very slow for her. So very carefully. She could do the same, make the gift last longer.

The dog made a tiny moaning noise, snapping Chaos out of her daydream. She glanced at him and he licked his snout, his head angled like he was waiting for something.

“More?” No way was she getting up again. She remembered Solomon’s strict orders to stay in bed except to eat, drink and use the bathroom. Her stomach did funny things at remembering his words. They had been firm. She liked the way his voice sounded when it was firm. And angry for her. It made her feel… safe. “You mind scooting over?” Chaos lay on the bed and the dog got up and seemed to make room for her, plopping down after with his head on her leg.

“Aren’t you just a sweet puppy,” she murmured, her body aching in every pore. “Master never let me have pets. Said it was a distraction from my lessons.” She stroked the soft fur at his ears. “Master is very smart, I think you’d like him.”

The dog made a noise in his throat that sounded a lot like he disagreed and Chaos giggled but only in her mind. She was too weak to do more than that. 

Chaos must’ve fallen asleep because she woke to the bark of the dog. Pain exploded in her body as she fought to sit up. Looking to the door, she shushed him.

“Jesus Christ,” she heard Solomon say. “Chaos, are you okay?”

The sound of fear in his voice sent her limping in agony to the door. Was somebody out there? Terror pumped through her at the idea Master might be. By the time she got halfway to the door, she knelt by the dog and held on to him, unable to go any further. Fear had her dazed and confused as the door cracked open.

“Chaos answer me!”

“I’m here,” she called.

The door pushed open more and he stared at her then the wolf. His intense blue eyes made her muscles clench with too many emotions. “How did it get in?” he asked staring at the wolf.

“I let him in, I didn’t think you’d mind I thought… you’d sent him home maybe.”

Solomon’s face screwed up as he continued staring at the wolf now wagging his tail. “That’s not my dog. Or wolf,” he exclaimed.

Sudden terror shot through Chaos as she looked at the dog who then licked her in the face. She fought to stand and Solomon laid his gun on the floor and scooped her up in his arms. As usual they were warm and strong as he carried her to the bed. He smelled of light sweat and Chaos wondered what it might taste like on his skin.

She stared at him as he fixed her feet and legs just right. “I thought he was yours,” she whispered. “He was on the porch scratching at the door. He was so friendly I assumed…” she regarded the dog now sitting obediently. “He was yours,” she finished. “He came right in and laid at the fireplace then jumped on the bed like he was right at home.” She gasped, winded like she’d run five miles. “And then he
slept
with me!”

His brows shot up, the whites of his eyes showing. “He
slept in my bed?
”

“I didn’t know.”

Solomon marched to the door and opened it, pushing open the screen door and pointing.  “Out.”

The wolf angled his head and moaned, not moving.

“He was… very mannered,” Chaos said, not wanting him to leave. “He took good care of me.”

“This is somebody’s wolf, Chaos. He’s highly trained, as you can see.”

“Then… he probably knows where his home is. And will return when he’s ready? Let him visit,” she barely whispered. “He protected me while you were gone.”

“And what if his master shows up here looking for him while I’m not here? And sees a woman alone and decides to take advantage?”

It was his anger for her again. She didn’t know why it suddenly affected her more than ever in that moment and her earlier ideas of showing appreciation flashed in her mind. Chaos looked away, fearing he somehow might see it in her eyes. And she wasn’t so sure she even wanted to do that now.

“Sorry,” he said, his voice lower as the wolf whined. “I don’t need your opinion, thank you very much,” Solomon muttered to the wolf, walking to retrieve his gun off the floor and placing it in the rack over the fireplace. He turned and those bright eyes landed on her, making her tense up. He suddenly covered his face with both hands and groaned. “I need a shower is what I need.” He practically fell into the chair by the bed and let his head drop back. Chaos noticed the condition of his clothes. His blue jeans were covered in mud and wet up to his knees. Her eyes found their way to his neck at the top of the white t-shirt where the skin glowed over thick muscle.

He brought his head forward then. “I’ll heat your dinner as soon as I get out,” he said, kicking off his boots and putting them by the fireplace. “These probably need burning after today.” He walked to the dresser and pulled clothes out then headed to the bathroom.

Once inside, Chaos was able to breathe. Until her mind began to wander. Again she imagined him naked. Did he have a lot of hair? Was his manhood strong and eager? Easy to please or difficult? She used to secretly compare the men in the Order in various ways. Not because she wanted to, her mind did it by itself. It seemed interested in functions and shapes and how they varied from one male to the other. She didn’t mind the preoccupation, it served as a good distraction and helped things go faster. It was likely force of habit that had her doing the same with him.

She heard him muttering in the bathroom then the door opened. “Can you please not look while I retrieve something I seem to have forgotten?”

His words held frustration and Chaos quickly obliged, hand over her eyes. “Of course. They’re closed.”    

“Don’t worry I’m in a towel,” he muttered at his drawer. “Where the hell?”

Chaos couldn’t stop from opening her fingers and peeking. Her stomach jolted at the rippling muscles in his back as he hurried. She quickly shut her fingers back when he turned and hurried to the bathroom. At hearing the door shut, she let out a shaky breath, recalling his butt under the hug of the thin towel. She’d seen it just before he’d turned, a barest glimpse. But it was enough to mark her mind permanently with a very hot impression. That’s how her mind worked, it only needed one flash. And now her brain made notes against all the other images of the males at the order before concluding what she already knew. None matched his beauty and perfection.

Chaos kept her eyes closed when the bathroom door opened again. Waiting for him to come to the bed turned into a very long wait. She finally peeked and found him making a bed on the floor. Before she could think, she blurted, “What are you doing?”

He gave her a quick glance. “Giving you room to rest. I’ll get dinner for you.”

A dense hollow feeling spread in her chest. “I’m not hungry. And there is plenty of room for you, this is your home you shouldn’t sleep on the floor.”

“You should eat anyway. And I shouldn’t be sleeping with you.”

She stared at him, confused and disheartened as he dug in the fridge. 

“I gave the dog the food. He was hungry.”

Solomon straightened and dropped his head back with a sigh.

“I’m sorry, he was very hungry and that’s all I found. My stomach can’t handle food right now anyway.”

“Well you will not be skipping breakfast,” he said, pointing at her as he made his way back to his bed on the floor. She nodded as he lay down and wiggled his body around before placing his arms behind his head with a sigh.

“We can both fit.”

His blue eyes landed right on her where she perched on her elbows. “It’s not appropriate.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a woman.”

The way he said it extra slowly annoyed Chaos. “So?”

“So I’m a man and… men don’t sleep in the same beds with women unless…”

She waited for the rest, prompting when he took too long, “Unless what?”

“Unless they’re married,” he said.

She couldn’t stop her giggle. He was so very peculiar.

“Call me old fashioned, laugh even, but that’s me.”

“So… when men and women lie in the same bed they must always do things married people do?” It was her turn to be condescending.

“It’s not appropriate.”

“Why? I don’t want to be married to you. Do you want to be married to me?”

“No! It’s just… human nature has a way of finding a way… you just don’t do it, just to be safe.”

“Because you may want to do things with me that married people do?” This had Chaos happy and then reminded herself of the picture of the woman on the fireplace mantle.

“Absolutely not. I will never do that with a woman.”

She lay down and looked at the ceiling, his answer upsetting her. “Why not?” She held her breath, waiting to hear what that even meant. To him.

“Because there was only one woman for me.”

Her insides froze at hearing it. The confirmation. But how could that be? He was supposed to be a virgin. And why did he say he was? “You’re married?”

He was quiet and Chaos waited, hoping he answered her. “Yes.”

Why was his yes so odd and sad sounding? Her heart hammered now at this news. “Where is she?”

“In Heaven. Where she belongs. And before you ask any more questions, don’t.”

Chaos was quiet for a long time, very relieved. But she found herself happy and sad at the same time. She surely didn’t want him married but she didn’t like the terrible sadness buried in his voice. It seemed like she should say something but instead she did that thing she sometimes did.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I’m not,” she hurried then giggled again.

“That definitely sounds like laughing to me,” he said, but not really sounding offended.

“I’m sorry,” she stifled another. “I do it sometimes.”

“Laugh at people’s tragedy? Nice,” he said dryly, but still, it wasn’t angry.

Chaos felt terrible even as she did it again and hurried to explain, “No, laugh at the wrong times, at the wrong things, I don’t mean to, it happens when… I want something too much.”

“And what do you want too much?”

“To say something that will take the sadness.”

“No, no. There’s no sadness, here,” he muttered, “I’m beyond done mourning.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“I am,” he said again.

“I heard you.”

“Good, I’m glad you did. Make sure you hear me.”

“I hear you.”

“Did I say I was happy?” he went on like she was arguing with him. “No. But is being not happy and mourning the same? No. I can be unhappy and not be mourning.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “I understand.”

“Do you?” he muttered.

“I do. I’m not happy, never have been. But I’m not mourning either. I guess I’m in the middle somewhere. Not one or the other.”

He didn’t answer her and she suddenly realized she liked talking to him. “What if… I have dreams?”

“Then I’ll wake you up.”

She thought about his singing. “I like when you hum to me.”

“Is that a fact,” he said, sounding sleepy.

“What’s the song you hum to me?”

He took in a big breath then let it out. “She Talks To Angels.”

Chaos smiled to herself at that. “Where did you learn it?”

She waited for many seconds, thinking he’d fallen asleep. “She taught it to me.”

A dozen feelings hit Chaos at hearing the things in his voice for the
she.
She wasn’t sure if they were all good or bad, they were just new to her. She thought. Then it hit her what he’d just said. “So… she talked to angels?” she asked, amazed.

“Yes,” he said softly. “All the time.”

Awe slowly washed over her. “Wow,” Chaos whispered. “She must’ve been amazing.”

“She was.”

The power in those two, soft words compelled those feelings in Chaos until it made her heart hammer. She had to shove them away, not knowing where they fit. “I’ve never talked to angels,” she confessed, sadly. “I’ve talked to the dead and demons. I was not permitted to try and talk to angels. I did want to, though,” she added, feeling like that might count. “Very much. My mother was an angel.”