Desire (29 page)

“B
ecause… look I’m just going to be honest here. If you mess with her head or break her heart to keep me safe, it could really cause a rift between us. That will be extremely difficult to forgive,” I confess. His eyes widen as a breath catches in his throat. “So if you’re looking for a line in sand that you can’t cross, there it is. Do not say that you understand because that will confirm something that neither of us wants confirmed.”

He hesitates, his expression so guilty I can’t even look at it.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about and I don’t want to fight.”

When I look at him, his face is completely different, a timid
smile playing on his lips. “Neither do I.”

“I
s Piper okay?”
You tell me
. “Like, not going to die of alcohol poisoning or choke to death on her own vomit okay?”

“S
he’s good. I’ll check on her in a few minutes.”

“A
re
you
okay?”

“I’
m fine. I don’t want to think about Luke right now. You said you were going to take care of it. Of me.”

“
I am.”

“
So I guess I’m officially letting you. I just want to think about school and the next time I’m going to see you.”

“That’s all you need to think about, Rookie. I have it covered.”
Obviously
. “I’m sleepy.”

“Me too.”

I’m not letting this ruin tonight. Who knows when I’ll fall asleep in his arms again, or wake up to see his face?

29

Jace

As soon as Maya heads off to school, I’m fucking in for it. Just like I’m expecting, he waits for her to
turn at the stop sign and bolts across the street. No hoodie, no walking around the block first, no coming in on the perimeter of a group of college bros so you don’t notice him. Just charges right out the front door of her building and into the front door of ours. We’re almost fucking positive that Luke doesn’t have anyone watching, but you can never be sure. If something happens to him¸ it will be my fault now.

Radioactive
comes on the radio as soon as we hear him stomping down the hallway, but even Oliver isn’t amused by the irony.

“How could you!” Isaac roars
as he charges through the door.

I a
m not going to fight him. I’m just not. The problem is I can’t pin Isaac, he’d prefer it if I just kicked his ass. I’m the only person he’ll wrestle with because I know to let go before I’ve really gotten a hold of him. As I’m strategizing just how to handle the impending collision, I notice that it’s not happening. He’s just staring at me. Shit, a fight would have been a lot easier than trying to think of something to say.

“How could you fucking do that to me?” His jaw is tense but shaking, and yeah, he’s pissed, but that’
s not why I suddenly feel like a major dickhead. “I fucking trusted you. I needed you. I still fucking need you.”

“It’s not what you think,” I reply hoarsely.

“There are literally millions of women in this city and you can talk any one of them into your bed. But you just had to go after her, didn’t you?”

Yeah, I did. I just had to.
“We’re just friends.”

“You fucking told me that you can’t be friends with
girls.”

“Maybe I was wrong.”

“I know what you think of women. How you use them, how you
lie
,” he snarls. “It fucking disgusts me, but I let that shit slide, because it’s your life and there are a lot worse things a person can do.” He takes a deep breath. “And because it’s
you
.”

“Isaac, I haven’t—”

“You heard what Maya said, I know you fucking listen to us all the time.”

“We have to,” Oliver interjects. “Anything could happen, man. You knew that.”

Isaac doesn’t tear his eyes off me for a second. “So I’m sure you heard about the line in the sand.”

“She was just—”

“Yeah, she was fucking pissed! That’s her best friend, they’re like sisters. Since they were little kids. What the fuck would you do?”

I can’t stand looking at his face, so I drop my gaze to the floor.
“I’ll stop. It hasn’t gone that far yet. But the self-defense class can’t hurt, Isaac.”

“You
think that maybe you should have brought that up with
me
first? Maya doesn’t need a fucking self-defense class, pressure points and leverage aren’t going to help her. If he gets his hands on her, she’ll freeze up. That’s how it works.”

“Maybe she won’t if she can—”

“You just don’t fucking get it! If she fights back he’ll just… enjoy it more.” Isaac’s hand starts to shake. “You watch Piper, don’t you?”

I can’t help it.
“No.”

“Bullshit,” he growls. “You said your guys weren’t creepers. I guess I should have worried about you instead.”

“Piper started this. She’s the one that comes upstairs and knocks on my door. It’s not like that.”

“You do not do this to people you like,
to people you care about. Even
I
know that. So that leaves one fucking thing that you’re after.”

“Fuck you, Isaac. T
here are a million other pussies, like you said.”

“How the fuck are you going to explain this? Did you think that far ahead?”
Not really.
“That’s what I fucking thought.” Before I can scream back at him, he chokes up, biting his knuckle. “There are a thousand ways I could lose her, right? What’s one more?”

“She’ll forgive you.”
But he turns around and bolts out the door before he can hear me.

I want to run after him
just to tell him to fuck off, that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and even if he does, he can get fucked because he might have the money, but I’m the one that’s really calling the shots here because I’m the one that can walk away from this any fucking time I want. He needs me, not the other way around.

But that question is ringing in my ears. How the hell am I going to explain this? How the fuck am I supposed to look her in the eyes when this is all over?
Movement on the living room camera catches my eye as Piper stumbles out of her bedroom, rubbing her head. Her robe opens up and she nearly flashes us as she bends down to pet that stupid cat.

“Turn that fucking thing off, Oliver.”

30

Maya

“Jesus Christ! I fucking said no!”

“Shit Piper, come on
. Don’t be such a prude.”

Oh, Kevin. That is not going to work out well for you. A scuffling ensues, but I’m not worried about her. “Who the
hell do you think you’re fucking?”

“Ow! That’s my dick!”

Wincing, I inhale through my teeth.
Yeah, she knows that
. It seems like it should be a basic survival instinct. Don’t piss someone off when their canines are that close to your most precious of parts.

He flies out of her room, naked, the unreasonable dick in question still half hard and glistening. A clump of fabric hits him in the groin, doubling him over,
which unfortunately brings his head level with his flying shoe. My decidedly not prudish roommate exits her bedroom also naked, tits swaying wildly as she tosses his shit in the general vicinity of where he’s lying on the floor, struggling to get his pants on.

“Out! Get up and get out!”

“Lemme get my clothes on, fuck!”

“What? Are you afraid someone is going to see you naked?
” she teases him. “Don’t be such a fucking prude!”

“PMSing much, bitch? It’s not that big of a deal.”

Oh, boy. But she doesn’t get violent as I’m expecting, she just scoffs and shakes her head. “If it’s not that big of a deal, Kevin, then why do you care so much that I don’t want to do it?”

This is a
very private moment. I should probably stop watching, but I can’t. “I—”

“I brought you over here to stroke you
r dick, not your ego. Get the fuck out of my house and don’t come back.”

“Piper, come on. I’m fucking sorry.”
Holy shit, are they breaking up right now? Not that they’re together, but they’ve been fuck buddies for three years. He’s her go to, her favorite.

“No, I’m sorry Kevin. That I will never again experience the pleasure of your tongue because I won’t let you spray your semen into my eyeballs. Out! Now!”

“Piper?” he croaks. “Hey, I didn’t realize…”

“Oh, ye
s, you fucking did. You know me very fucking well, I am very direct. I don’t squeal no when I want to scream yes.” Her eyes flick to me. “And I don’t fuck guys that can’t understand that. Get. The. Fuck.
Out!
”

He looks so guilty. A few months ago, I
might have had sympathy for him and inwardly rolled my eyes at her for making such a big deal about it. Not anymore, but it’s hard not to feel just a little bit bad for him. Kevin probably just thinks that’s normal and maybe it is now. Most girls do just go along with it, even enjoy it. I think. Holy shit, probably not. I’m totally regressing.

The hesitation on his face slowly fades to the realization that he’s watching a bridge burn and he can’t put it out. She’s not romantically attached, it’s pretty hard for Piper to let herself fall
and that last boyfriend basically eviscerated her. But he sure as hell is. I’ve always suspected as much, and watching him scramble for the right words proves it.
There aren’t any, Kevin. Just go.

“I’ll call you.”

“I won’t answer.”

His lips tremble as he reaches out to her, but she recoils, looking away. With slow steps, he slinks away in defeat. “I’ll see you around, Maya.” As soon as the door clicks shut, she sighs raggedly, but she’s not going to cry
even though she wants to.

“Are you alright?”

“Don’t you dare feel bad for him,” she snaps

“I don’t, Piper. Are you alright?”

“Three fucking years. I thought he was my friend. I guess I have to finish myself off.”

Her door slams. A few seconds later I hear the sounds of men moaning loudly. Ironically, Piper really loves porn.
Gay porn mostly, where I guess everyone comes on everyone else equally. I can’t even fathom how the hell she is still in the mood after that exchange, but I’m not here to judge. Piper also loves Isaac’s chicken carbonara and there’s going to be a big plate of it waiting for her.

31

Jace

So Day 2 of
Operation: Don’t Creep on Piper just flew out the goddamned window. Oliver attempts to make it easier on me by turning the audio off in her room, but I won’t let him, I just have to listen. Then he tries to physically stop me from leaving the apartment, but I shove him back so hard he falls over the arm of the couch.

This motherfucker is mine. I don’t know where she picked up this
Kevin
, or just how many times she’s experienced the ‘pleasure of his tongue,’ but he is in for as much of a surprise as he tried to give her.

I grab the prick and shove
him up against the wall, savoring the sound of his head cracking against the brick. My hand stops right before it connects with his nose. Is he fucking crying? Holy shit, I’m about to wreck this guy. What the fuck am I doing? People are watching this and I fucking live here. Piper and Maya could be looking out their window right now.

“Fuck
,” I mutter under my breath. He wipes his nose clean and stares at me, clearly not understanding what the hell is going on. “I thought you were someone else. Sorry, man.” With a disgusted look, he shrugs me off and keeps walking.

Asshole
. But that’s not why I want to mess him up. He just fucked her and I’m so jealous I might throw up. Jealous doesn’t even cover it, I feel totally fucking betrayed. How the hell did I let myself get so wrapped in this chick? It would be really awkward if I went up there right now. Maybe I could text her? No. I
can’t
. This has to stop.

I crawl back to Oliver, who is thankfully
also the most level headed guy in the entire world. Travis will be here in three hours and I can go home, which is right above her. I never should have moved in here. I bump into Piper in the hallway and barely nod at her, even though she flashes me that megawatt smile. I only catch a glimpse of the hurt and embarrassment in her eyes as I force my feet to keep marching forward, but it’s all I keep seeing for the rest of the night.

I can’t take it. I end up texting her at two in the morning to apologize for blowing her off. I just had a shitty day. She says she understands, but she has no idea. Not a fucki
ng clue.

32

Isaac

“Isaac!”

“Hi, baby, what’s up? You sound excited.”

“Um, maybe I am. Piper and some of our friends are going to your club tonight and I really want to go
with. Can I?”

I get hard as soon as that phone rings, but I think my dick
has literally just turned into iron through some alchemical reaction. I can’t keep reacting this way every time she asks my permission. “Yeah, you can go. It’s safe.”

“Will I see you there?”

I’ll have to sneak out of this bullshit dinner and that is going to be fucking risky. “Yeah, I’ll meet you around midnight.”

“Why so late?”

“Because I want you to have fun with your friends.”
Please don’t ask if that’s the only reason.

“
Okay,” she squeaks. “Will you get to stay over?”

“Yeah, you still get me for the whole weekend. It just starts early now.”

“I’m so excited, I miss you so much.”

“
Me. Too.
” It’s been almost week again. If I don’t see her face soon, I’m going to lose my shit. “Have a good time. Get as drunk as you want. No one is going to mess with you there, believe me.”

“Maybe I will.” She kisses into the phone and I smooch her back. I can’t wait to feel her lips on mine.

Sneaking away from the party turns out to be incredibly fucking easy because Scott ‘surprises’ Glory by flying in early. The only person surprised was me and I storm off. She thinks I’m jealous, which is a perfect reason to ignore her phone calls.

I have the driver drop me off in the back. There’s a line out front, we have to turn people away because it’s so crowded. The music thumps heavy in the background as I walk in.
It’s dark and no one notices me as I stalk through the sweaty bodies writhing against each other. Almost everyone that’s getting laid tonight is already paired up. The only half sober eyes that are scanning the crowd for a good time belong to guys and none of them linger on me.

My woman’s here, I can feel her.
I can fucking taste her on the tip of my tongue. I want to watch her laugh with her friends for a little while before she sees me. I spot Jace and he nods toward the dance floor. She better only be grinding against Piper when I see her.

Holy shit, she looks incredible. That dress is really fucking short. Tight. She got a lot of a
ttention tonight, she had to. She turned them on and then she turned them all down. For me. Why the fuck is that arousing me so much? I should be hulking out with jealousy. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Her hair
whips around as she twirls, her hands linked with a girl I don’t know. She’s barefoot, obviously more than a little tipsy. I stand there motionless amongst the dancers, transfixed. Maya’s friend notices a guy checking her out and gives her a quick hug before running away, leaving her alone. Her eyes search the dance floor and lock with mine.

This is my favorite part, this moment right now. This face she wears. This is how I know that she loves me, that she belongs to me entirely, body and soul. I could fuck her ruthlessly for days, and I will because she fucking loves it, but I still wouldn’t get the validation I crave. All I need is to see her face morph when she sees mine. Her beautiful eyes light up and crinkle at the corners, her mouth spreading into the biggest smile as one of those precious giggles escapes. And this moment, where she runs towards me and leaps without hesitation because she knows that I’ll catch her, I always will. I can’t help but laugh when her body crashes into mine as she squeals my name.

She kisses my face everywhere the way she does when she trying to get me to smile, but I already am because we’re together and that gaping hole in my chest is healed with her presence. The first real kiss is always the best, full of relief that turns to excitement. She breaks away to squeal and kiss me everywhere again, babbling about how happy she is to see me. I have no words for her yet, I need to squeeze her as hard as I can without hurting her, burying my face in her shoulder and breathe, finally breathe and relax for just a heartbeat because she’s safe. I kept her safe and she’s still here. It’s so obvious that she loves me and everything is okay, even if it’s just for a few seconds.