Read Desire In His Eyes Online
Authors: Kaitlin O’Riley
“Oh, my! Please, please, you must come with me and return to the dining room at once,” she said, obviously dismayed that they had witnessed such a private and unnerving scene.
With no other option available to them, Juliette and Jeffrey followed her back to the dining room. They sat in their seats at the table once again, yet neither of them could possibly eat. Wordlessly Jeffrey poured them each another glass of wine from the decanter. He handed a glass to her. Juliette found that she was shaking, but she drank the wine anyway hoping it would calm her. From the stricken expression on Jeffrey’s face, he was hoping the same thing.
They sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts.
Finally, Jeffrey muttered. “Good God, that was harrowing.”
Juliette whispered, “When he told me that his sister was ill, I never imagined that she was mentally ill.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “I am sure Harrison wishes we had not seen that.”
“But we did.” Juliette did not know how she would sleep that night.
The image of Melissa covered with blood, obviously in an attempt to injure herself or worse, would haunt her forever. It had been terrifying. Yet her heart ached for the pain in that woman’s heart. And her heart broke for Harrison, who obviously had been caring for his sister his entire life and was doing his best to help her.
“Are you all right?” Jeffrey gave her a concerned look.
She nodded weakly. “I suppose so. I just feel so terribly sad.”
“I do too,” he said somberly.
Again silence reigned in the room. Juliette sipped her wine, wishing she could be useful in some way. She had never witnessed anything so disturbing in her life, nor had she ever felt so powerless.
She finally murmured to Jeffrey as he refilled their glasses, “I have no idea what I could possibly to say to comfort Harrison after that.”
“There is no need to say anything to me.”
Juliette and Jeffrey both startled as Harrison stood before them. He looked haggard and weary and there were streaks of dried blood across the front of his white shirt. His jacket was gone and his hair was tousled as if he had run his hand through it many times in frustration. Juliette resisted the impulse to jump up and throw her arms around him.
“I apologize,” he said quietly. “I regret you had to see my sister that way.”
Jeffrey stood and poured a glass of wine for Harrison and handed it to him. “Or would you prefer something stronger?”
Harrison gave him rueful grin. “No. This will do fine.” He accepted the glass and drank.
Hesitantly Juliette ventured, “Is there anything we can do to help?”
“I doubt that.” He glanced out the glass doors to the patio. “Do you mind if I have a cigar?”
“Not at all.” Jeffrey agreed readily. “In fact, I’ll join you.”
Juliette watched as the two men took their wine and cigars and headed out to the slate patio, leaving her apparently forgotten and alone at the table. She sat there, more than a little stunned by their abrupt departure. Gentlemen usually had their cigars without the presence of women, but at that moment Juliette decided that was a ridiculous custom. With bold determination, she picked up her crystal wine glass and joined the men outside.
Bathed in the flickering light of the outdoor gas lamps that lined the patio, they sat on the steps which led down to the rolling expanse of manicured lawn. The lit tips of their cigars glowed in the dark and crickets chirped their song. Juliette hitched up the skirt of her deep sapphire gown and sat down between them, almost daring them to say something to her. Jeffrey merely gave her an indulgent smile and lifted his glass. Harrison said nothing. But he did not ask her to leave either.
“Does she behave that way often?” Juliette’s words broke the silence among them.
Harrison exhaled deeply. “She hadn’t for some time. Lately, however, she seems to be getting worse. More hysterical and more violent and more difficult to calm down afterwards.”
Jeffrey questioned. “I assume you have taken her to see a doctor?”
“Many doctors.” Harrison nodded. “The best money can buy. I even met with a few while I was in London. They all tell me the same thing.”
“And what is that?” Juliette asked.
Harrison sighed heavily before speaking. “They all recommend that I place her in a state asylum for the insane.”
No one spoke for some time after that. Juliette did not doubt, after witnessing that devastating display of instability, that Harrison’s sister could indeed be insane.
Finally Jeffrey asked, “If all the doctors recommend it as best for her, why don’t you do it then?” He added, “It would be easier for you.”
“Have you ever been to one of those places?” Just the sound of Harrison’s voice chilled Juliette.
“No.” Juliette and Jeffrey echoed the same response.
“Well, I have visited quite a few of them over the years to see if one was suitable enough. They are dreadful places, some not fit for animals let alone human beings. I can’t even describe how awful they are and I can’t bear to think of Melissa in a place like that. I can take much better care of her here myself.”
“That makes sense,” Juliette concurred. “Even with her problems, she is much better off with her family around her than with strangers.”
Harrison flashed her a grateful look, which sent an odd thrill through her. She sipped her wine, thinking it was much more relaxing and comfortable sitting out here with Harrison and Jeffrey than it was when they were in the formal dining room earlier.
Jeffrey stated, “It’s very admirable of you, Harrison, the way you care for her. Not many brothers would be so caring.”
Harrison did not respond, but smoked his cigar.
“Is she all right now?” Juliette asked. “Was she seriously hurt?”
“What little laudanum we were able to get her to take was at least enough to put her to sleep. Annie, that’s her nurse, got her cleaned up and bandaged her cuts. Melissa is fortunate in that she has no serious wounds from this episode, but it wasn’t from lack of trying on her part. She broke nearly every window in the solarium by crashing her fists through the glass. Hopefully she will be calmer tomorrow, but we never know how she will act or what will set her off.” Harrison blew a ring of smoke from his cigar. “This is the worst I have ever seen her.”
“But she does have calm moments, doesn’t she?” Juliette wondered aloud, thinking how difficult it must be to deal with someone so unpredictable.
“She wavers between periods of despair, as you just witnessed, and phases of elation,” Harrison explained in a matter of fact manner, “and we have no clue how long each stage will last or what causes her to shift from mood to mood.”
Juliette said softly, “I can’t imagine what that must be like for her.”
Not for the first time, it occurred to her that in spite of what she had initially believed about her childhood with her absent-minded and disinterested father and bedridden, sickly mother, that she had led a very sheltered and privileged life with healthy sisters who loved her. She had no cause to complain. She could not comprehend having to have dealt with all that Harrison had experienced in his life. Her respect and admiration for him and all that he had accomplished increased tenfold.
Switching her wine glass to her left hand, Juliette slowly reached out her right hand to Harrison’s, which was resting on the top of the step. She placed her hand over his. Without looking at her, Harrison turned his palm around and grasped her firmly, interlocking his fingers with hers. She squeezed him in silent support. He squeezed her hand back and did not release his hold on her. Instead he moved them closer to the fold of her gown, concealing their clasped hands beneath the fabric, and rested there. Jeffrey could not see that they were holding hands. Juliette suddenly felt like crying.
“Again, I’m sorry you had to see Melissa that way tonight,” Harrison said.
“There is no reason to apologize,” Juliette began. “We are the ones who arrived here unexpectedly. Had we any idea how things were with Melissa, we never would have intruded. Jeffrey and I will return to New York tomorrow, won’t we, Jeffrey?”
“Yes, of course,” Jeffrey readily agreed.
Harrison protested. “No. Please stay. At least for a few more days. It’s nicer having company here than I would have imagined.”
As he spoke, Harrison squeezed Juliette’s hand tighter. Her heart flipped over in her chest at his tender gesture and she could not speak.
“Are you certain, Harrison?” Jeffrey questioned. “It’s no trouble for us to go. There is no need to stand on ceremony with us.”
“I’d like you both to stay,” Harrison declared firmly, giving Juliette’s hand another squeeze. “We could go to Long Branch and see the pier or go to the racetrack at Monmouth Park.”
His thumb lightly caressed the top of her hand, tracing a path down to her inner wrist and sending shivers of delight up her spine. She closed her eyes. Having Harrison secretly holding her hand in the dark seemed incredibly intimate and filled Juliette with the overwhelming desire to kiss him.
“Well, then. We shall stay then, shan’t we, Juliette?” Jeffrey asked, putting out his cigar on the slate stones.
Her eyes fluttered open at the mention of her name. “Of course,” she murmured in a breathless whisper when she found her voice again. She squeezed Harrison’s hand back as she spoke, but still they did not look at each other. “I would love to stay.”
“It’s settled then.”
“I’m out of wine,” Jeffrey said with a light laugh. “That must mean it is time to retire.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Harrison concluded. He extinguished his cigar also. “I must admit that I am exhausted.”
Juliette, loath to let go of Harrison’s hand, said nothing. She could sit there on that hard, stone step all night, as long as she felt this close to Harrison.
Jeffrey stood and made his way toward the house. Neither Harrison nor Juliette moved an inch. Juliette wondered if Jeffrey intentionally left them alone. It would not surprise her if he had.
A honeysuckle laden breeze wafted over them as they sat in silence.
“We should go inside,” he said.
She nodded, her throat tight, unable to speak.
Still they did not move to get up. She finally turned her head to look at him only to find that he was staring at her. He did not turn away when her eyes met his. In the dim light she could see the heat in his gaze and almost gasped aloud at the intensity.
“Juliette?”
The sound of her name on his lips shook her. It seemed as if he were going to say something to her of great importance. She leaned in closer to him, her face mere inches from his, willing him with every fiber of her being to kiss her.
He leaned toward her. “Juliette, I—”
“Are you two coming inside, or should I come out there and get you?” Jeffrey called loudly from the doorway, instantly shattering the intimate mood between them.
Harrison released her hand abruptly and straightened up. “We’re coming.” He rose to his feet.
Filled with bitter disappointment, Juliette glanced up at him, her heart thrumming wildly. She had been positive that he was going to kiss her. Blast Jeffrey for interrupting them! Harrison nodded to her and held out his hand to help her to her feet. Taking his hand once again, Juliette stood on shaky legs and followed him into the house. The three of them bade each other good night and retired to their separate quarters.
Alone in her room, Juliette collapsed in emotional exhaustion upon her bed, the sting of unshed tears burning her eyes. Funny, she hardly ever cried. Yet lately it seemed she was on the verge of tears constantly.
Juliette awoke the next morning and did not recognize the room she found herself in. After a fitful night sleep full of strange dreams, it took a moment to recall that she was in Harrison’s house. She blinked at the bright sunlight pouring into the blue toile bedroom. The clock on the mantel read eleven thirty. Goodness gracious, she slept later than usual, even for her! She stretched and yawned before making her way to the open window. Looking out at the verdant lawns and woods beyond, she could not help but admire the beauty of the landscape. The humming buzz of insects and the twittering of birds greeted her. The thick haze in the sky portended a very hot day. Indeed, Juliette could already feel the heat in the steamy stillness of the air.
She washed in the adjoining white tiled bathroom, once again marveling at the amazing modernity of Harrison’s new house. He had every latest convenience and luxury installed. Once she was dressed in a simple muslin gown of pale peach and had arranged her thick hair into some semblance of order on top of her head to keep her as cool as possible, she descended the main staircase. The house was quiet. Seeing no one about, she made her way to the kitchen in answer to her rumbling stomach. She had not eaten much at dinner the night before so it was no surprise she was hungry.
Mrs. O’Neil gave her a warm smile as she entered the sunny kitchen. “Good morning, Miss Hamilton. Captain Fleming gave us orders that we were to let you sleep as long as you liked. You must have been tired from your journey to sleep this late. It’s noon already! Why don’t you have a seat in the breakfast room and I’ll bring you some scrambled eggs and toast and coffee.”
“Thank you, Mrs. O’Neil. That sounds lovely.” She followed the woman into a comfortable and decidedly less formal room than the dining room, and sat at a small table near the tree-shaded windows.
“I hope you found your room to be comfortable and that you had a good night’s sleep.” Mrs. O’Neil bustled about, pouring her a cup of coffee, as she chattered amiably, and sat down at the table across from her. “Oh, it’s going to be a hot one today, mark my words. You’d be well-advised to stay indoors this afternoon, Miss Hamilton.”
“Where are Lord Eddington and Captain Fleming?”
“I believe Lord Eddington took one of the carriages and was riding into Red Bank or Shrewsbury. He mentioned something about visiting a friend.”
Curious, Juliette wondered just whom Jeffrey was meeting in town and felt slightly put out that he had not seen fit to ask her to join him. “And Captain Fleming? Is he out for the day as well?”
One of the maids placed a plate of fluffy scrambled eggs and thick sausage in front of her. Juliette’s mouth watered.
“Captain Fleming is out and about somewhere on the estate with my husband. Mr. O’Neil manages the estate for him and takes care of everything on the farm when Captain Fleming is away.” Her pride in her husband was evident.
Juliette smiled at the woman as she ate.
“We don’t get many visitors here at Fleming House. It’s nice to have guests, especially such grand ones as yourself and Lord Eddington.”
“Thank you,” Juliette murmured. “It’s lovely to be here. Thank you for making me feel so at home.”
A maid stuck her head in the doorway. “Mrs. O’Neil? Did you want me to starch those lacey napkins too?”
“I’ll be right in, Fanny,” she called to the girl. She rose from the table and said to Juliette, “When you are finished with breakfast, the library is down the main hallway. It’s cool and quiet in there. Captain Fleming thought you might like to visit there.”
“Thank you,” Juliette called as the plump housekeeper hurried from the breakfast room.
Feeling much better after she ate, Juliette found the library, a dark, wood-paneled room lined with shelves of books but wondered why Harrison would suggest that she visit the library. Juliette had had more than her fill of books to last her whole life and was not the least bit interested in reading. Thinking that he must have been teasing her and sent her there as a joke, she smiled to herself. The quiet room was cooler, but not by much.
She fanned herself with a thin book of poetry that she found resting on a table. In the corner stood a rocking chair. Juliette, feeling somewhat restless, sat down and rocked back and forth, enjoying the slight breeze the movement created. She wished that Jeffrey or Harrison would return soon.
“Hello.”
Startled by the voice, Juliette froze when she saw Melissa standing alone in the doorway.
Harrison’s sister appeared completely normal. She would be pretty if she weren’t so thin and fragile looking. She was very fair with wide green eyes and wore a simple pink cotton dress. Her long blonde hair was neatly pulled back behind her head with a pink ribbon. Aside from heavy dark circles around her eyes and thick bandages wrapped around her wrists, she displayed no outward signs of the traumatic events of the previous night. Unnerved by her presence and wondering why Melissa was unattended, Juliette swallowed.
“Hello,” she murmured in response, clutching the arms of the chair tightly.
Melissa stepped into the library and Juliette noted that she had bare feet. She came closer. “Who are you?” Melissa asked.
“I’m Juliette Hamilton.”
“That’s a pretty name,” she said softly, her voice like that of a child’s, although she had to be a few years older than Juliette.
“Thank you.” Juliette felt the need to explain to her. “I’m a friend of Harrison’s.”
“We never have visitors.” Melissa sat upon a large leather chair facing Juliette. “I’m Melissa Fleming, Harrison’s sister.” She pulled her feet up beneath her in a very casual position. Juliette caught a glimpse of the scratches on her bare ankles, obviously from the broken glass.
“It’s very nice to meet you,” Juliette said, thinking the woman seemed more lucid than she had expected her to be. Again she wondered where her nurse was. Surely Melissa was not permitted to roam about at will. Not after that scene last night. The nurse must certainly come for her shortly.
“Will you be staying with us long?” Melissa brought her fingers to her mouth and began biting her nails, which were already bitten to the quick.
The nervous gesture increased Juliette’s apprehension. She did not feel comfortable being alone with Harrison’s unbalanced sister, yet she did not know how to extricate herself from the situation without upsetting the woman who had apparently made herself comfortable and settled in for a sociable chat.
“I’m not sure how long I shall stay at the moment,” Juliette answered. “A few days, perhaps?”
“That would be lovely. Has Mrs. O’Neil given you the blue guestroom?”
“Yes. It’s quite charming.” Oh, when would that nurse come for Melissa? Juliette had never had to converse with an unstable person before, even though she seemed quite rational at the moment. The very ordinariness of the conversation seemed ridiculous. Juliette could not help but fear that Melissa would suddenly do something crazy or try to injure herself.
“You have a lovely accent.” Melissa stopped biting her nails and smiled at her. “Where are you from?”
“I’m from London.”
“I’ve always wanted to go to London!” Melissa sighed dreamily. “I’ve only read about it in books.”
Juliette smiled at her and continued rocking slowly in the chair. Imagine someone dreaming of going to England, all the while she was wishing to go to America! “I’ve always wanted to come to the United States.”
Melissa let out a girlish giggle. “That’s very funny. We should switch places. You stay here and I’ll go to London and stay with your family.”
“That would be funny,” Juliette conceded awkwardly. She wondered what her sisters would think of Melissa.
A shadow of sadness crossed her face and she bit her nails again. “I never get to go anywhere though. No one ever lets me do anything I want to do. Especially my brother. He makes all the rules for me. He and Annie. They make all the decisions and they never ask me what I think.”
“What do you wish to do?” Juliette heard herself ask.
“Oh, lots of things!” Her eyes alight with excitement and yearning, she took her fingers from her mouth and continued. “I would like to go to different places and meet different people. I just wish to do
something
.”
Although she nodded in agreement, Juliette said nothing. Melissa’s words sounded painfully familiar.
Changing the subject, Melissa asked, “What is your family like?”
“I have four sisters.”
“Four sisters?” Melissa clapped her hands like a schoolgirl. “That’s wonderful! Are you the oldest?”
“No, my sister Colette is the eldest. I’m next. Then there is Lisette, Paulette, and Yvette. Colette is the only one who is married so far. She’s about to have a baby.”
“My sister, Isabella, is about to have a baby too!” She grinned happily. “I’m already an aunt though. Isabella has a little boy who is two years old, named Sam. I haven’t met him yet. They may come visit us from Boston at the end of the summer. I have another brother too. Stuart is off at sea somewhere. Asia, I think. Harrison is a wonderful brother to me. He’s the oldest. How do you know him?”
“He is a business associate of my brother-in-law. Harrison stayed with us while he was in London. I came to New York with him when he sailed back.” There. Juliette thought that covered that subject as concisely as she could without outright lying.
“Oh, were you on Harrison’s ship?” she stared at Juliette in wonder. “I would be too afraid to sail on the
Sea Minx
. They couldn’t even get me to ride the ferry to come here to Rumson. I insisted we take the train! Harrison was most displeased with me.” Melissa smiled impishly.
Juliette could not deny the normalcy of their conversation. If she had not witnessed Melissa screaming and sobbing last night with her own eyes, she never would have believed her capable of such behavior. Nothing she said indicated that she was unbalanced. She appeared completely sane. She seemed like any average young woman. She loved her family, she wished to travel, yet had normal fears, and she was completely aware of who and where she was.
“Are you going to marry my brother?”
Shocked by the question, Juliette stopped the rocking chair with her feet. “Excuse me?”
Melissa seemed embarrassed, and resumed biting her nails again. “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that Harrison has never brought a lady home to visit before. And with you being so beautiful and accomplished, I just naturally assumed that he intended to marry you.”
Juliette had no answer except the truth. “No. I’m not going to marry Harrison. We are simply good friends.”
“I see,” Melissa said, chewing on her thumbnail. “You’re dress is very pretty.”
“Thank you.”
“Could I borrow it sometime?”
Feeling the awkwardness suddenly creep back into their conversation, Juliette murmured, “I suppose so.”
“Melissa!” A sharp voice called. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Oh, hello, Annie.” Melissa waved casually to the woman whom Juliette recognized from the night before as her nurse. “Have you met Harrison’s good friend from London? This is Miss Juliette Hamilton. Juliette, this is Annie Morgan, my nurse.”
Surprised by Melissa’s ease of introductions, Juliette watched her in fascination.
Annie, still wearing a bun tightly pulled back from her face, gave Juliette a questioning look before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hamilton.”
Juliette smiled at the woman to let her know that everything was fine. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well. Melissa and I were just having a little chat and getting acquainted.”
“That’s nice.” Annie seemed to relax, seeing that the situation was calm and that nothing out of the ordinary had happened while Melissa was not under her supervision. “Unfortunately it’s time for Melissa to have her nap.”
“Yes,” Melissa nodded gratefully. “I am rather sleepy now.” She uncurled her long legs and stood up. “It’s been lovely talking to you, Juliette. Would you join me later for a game of backgammon?”
Melissa looked at her with such longing that Juliette could hardly refuse her. “Yes, of course.”
“That’s wonderful.” She smiled broadly, looking like a little girl. “Shall I meet you in the drawing room at six o’clock?”
“That sounds fine.” Being that Juliette had no other plans that day, what else could she say?
“Good afternoon!” Melissa gave a little wave and followed Annie out of the library.
Alone again, Juliette released a long sigh of relief. She suddenly realized how nervous she had been throughout the entire exchange. Sweat had trickled down her back and between her breasts, leaving her feeling sticky and hot. Trembling slightly, she rose from the rocking chair and thought she would retire to her room and take a cool bath. The house was still and quiet in the heat of the afternoon. All the blinds had been drawn to block out the sun and the rooms were dark as she made her way along the corridor and up the main staircase.
She walked along the dim upstairs hallway, the thick carpet muffling the sound of her footsteps. Before she reached her door, another bedroom door opened and Harrison stepped out, looking as if he were in a hurry. Juliette stopped in her tracks and so did he when he saw her. A lazy smile spread across his handsome face, and her knees went weak.
“Well, well,” he said in a teasing tone. “Look who finally decided to get out of bed.”
“Actually I have been up for quite some time,” she retorted. His shirt was open to the waist, revealing his tanned, bare chest, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. It seemed people were a good less formal about dress here in the country. She took a deep breath.
“And what trouble have you been getting yourself into?” He stepped closer to her.
“No trouble,” Juliette murmured, lowering her eyes. She could not think clearly when he stood so near to her. Her dress clung to her and the loose tendrils of her hair were damp around her temples. She had a sudden impulse to tear her clothes from her body and slip into a cool bath with Harrison naked beside her. The image caused her head to spin. “It’s just so…hot…I…I thought I’d have a bath.”
Slowly she lifted her eyes to meet his.