Desire In His Eyes (24 page)

“I know my apology is woefully inadequate for what I have put you all through, but I am very sorry.”

Colette continued to stare helplessly at her sister. Although relieved at Juliette’s unexpected return to London the day before, Colette could not help but still be somewhat angry with her. They had talked briefly last night when Juliette arrived at Devon House escorted by Jeffrey Eddington, but this was the first opportunity they had had to talk privately together. After breakfast her first morning home, Juliette had joined Colette in her sitting room.

“Be careful of his head,” she admonished, sitting on a chair near the window.

Juliette looked up at her, carefully but awkwardly cradling Colette’s infant son in her arms. “My nephew truly is a handsome little boy. I think he looks like you.”

“Lucien’s mother thinks he looks like me and Mother thinks he looks like Lucien.” Colette shook her head slightly. “I think he looks like Lucien.”

“The name Phillip suits him.”

Colette smiled, thinking of their mother, and how she had named him. “Yes, it does, doesn’t it?”

“How did Mother react to my leaving?” Juliette asked.

“Why she was thrilled with pride and joy!” Colette muttered sarcastically. “What did you expect, Juliette? Of course, she was furious and blamed you for breaking her heart and disappointing her. You are quite fortunate she returned to Brighton just before you got back or you would have had to face her wrath first thing. We shall have to send word to her that you are safely home again. The only bright spot for her during her visit was meeting Phillip.”

“I’m most sorry I wasn’t here when he was born.” Juliette sighed heavily. “I know leaving the way I did was wrong and that I worried you—”

“Worried is an extreme understatement.” Colette recalled the unrelenting anxiety she had experienced constantly until they received Captain Fleming’s message via telegraph that Juliette was safe in New York. She had imagined horrors of all sorts happening to her sister.

“How could you just disappear without telling me?” Colette could not hide the note of hurt in her voice. “We always tell each other everything!”

“Because you would have tried to stop me.”

“Of course I would have!” Colette cried in indignation. “What sane person wouldn’t have tried to stop you? What you did was utter madness!”

Juliette laughed ruefully. “Yes, it was.” She paused for a moment, staring down at the baby sleeping peacefully in her arms, then glancing back at her with her eyes sparkling. “But do you know something, Colette? I enjoyed every moment of that madness.”

Knowing her sister, Colette suspected something more had happened on that little journey than the tame story with which Juliette had regaled the family the night before. She told of an uneventful sailing on the
Sea Minx
, a lovely time in New York with Christina Dunbar and her husband, and a visit with Jeffrey to Captain Fleming’s country home.

“I half expected to never see you again.” Colette murmured, trying to keep her anger in check. “If you were enjoying yourself so much in America, then why did you come home with Jeffrey?”

“Because of Harrison.”

“Ah, I note he is no longer Captain Fleming.” She also noted that Juliette’s cheeks had reddened slightly.

“Oh, Colette, I have so wished I could talk to you.”

Colette tilted her head toward her sister. “I may still be slightly hurt and angry with you, but I’m here now.”

“I don’t even know where to begin, so much has happened.”

“Well, you had better begin somewhere.”

Juliette took a deep breath. “I came home because he wanted to marry me.”

“Oh.” Colette leaned back in her chair, surprised by this bit of news.

She had liked Captain Fleming when she met him. The American sea captain had been a polite and charming houseguest although he had struck her as somewhat reserved. While he had been staying at Devon House, she had not detected any sort of attraction or romantic interest between him and Juliette at all. She knew the man was handsome enough, but every man paled in comparison to Lucien for her. So a romance had blossomed aboard ship between Captain Fleming and her sister? “And you apparently did not wish to marry him?”

“Yes…No…” Juliette murmured slowly. “I did not want to marry him at first, but now I am not sure anymore. It’s so complicated and now I’m here and he’s in America and…”

Her sister’s voice trailed off. Colette eyed her carefully. “What happened?”

In a halting voice and still holding the baby, Juliette began to describe the series of events that occurred after she left home and Colette listened, pausing to ask a question from time to time, such as, “What in heaven’s name would possess you to climb the mast of a ship?” “He locked you in his cabin?” When Juliette attempted to share some of the more intimate details of her relationship with Captain Fleming, Colette suddenly interrupted.

“Wait a moment,” she explained with a giggle. “I don’t think Phillip should hear any of this.”

Juliette waited while Colette carried the baby to the adjoining nursery and placed him gently in his cradle. She then hurried back to the sitting room and settled herself in her chair. She urged, “Go on.”

“You were absolutely right,” Juliette confessed. “That medical book doesn’t even begin to describe what things are really like between a man and woman in bed.”

Colette smiled knowingly, recalling when she had discovered that same wonderful secret with Lucien. Although concerned by Juliette’s serious involvement with the American sea captain, she was somehow not surprised.

She continued to listen to Juliette’s story with interest until she asked, “Just how unbalanced is Captain Fleming’s sister?”

“That’s the saddest part, Colette. I don’t think anyone truly knows. She seems to be fine and then…and then suddenly and inexplicably, she’s not.”

When Juliette finally revealed the reason she fled from Harrison’s farm and decided to come home, Colette said, “Well, I think that Jeffrey and Harrison made their plan, however misguided, with good intentions and not to do something terrible to you.” She gave Juliette a pointed look. “And I do seem to recall a certain sister of mine concocting an outrageous plan last year to trick Lucien into admitting he was in love with me.”

“Yes,” Juliette admitted reluctantly. “Jeffrey reminded me of that as well.”

“Well, there you are.” Colette shrugged. “But the true question here, the only one that matters, is, do you love him?”

“It doesn’t matter now. I shall never see him again,” Juliette whispered.

“You are not answering the question.”

Juliette almost squirmed under the pressure. Colette had never seen her sister this uncomfortable before. Someone had finally captured Juliette’s heart! She would have laughed aloud if her sister did not look so distraught about it.

“I’m not answering it because I don’t know the answer. I wish I did. Besides he does not love me.”

“But you said he wanted to marry you?” Colette asked, somewhat confused.

“He only wanted to marry me because after what we did together, he felt it was the right thing to do. It was his responsibility, his duty, to marry me.”

“Did he say that?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” Colette asked, “How do you feel about never seeing him again?”

“At first, I was so angry with him, I truly didn’t care if I ever saw him again or not. But then…”

“Then what?”

“The more I thought about him, the more I missed him,” Juliette said with a note of surprise in her voice. “And during the whole voyage back home, I could only think about how sad I was without him and how I ached to be with him.”

“Can you imagine being with anyone else?”

“No.”

“Then you are in love with him,” Colette explained. “That’s how it was with me and Lucien.”

“Colette, for the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do about anything anymore. I went seeking adventure and what I’ve only just realized is that the greatest adventures I had were when I was with Harrison.” Juliette paused thoughtfully. “And nothing has been the same for me without him.”

“You are definitely in love with him.” Colette stared at her sister. She saw that her eyes had begun to fill with tears. Juliette had changed while she was away. In spite of her melancholy, there was a new calmness about her that had not been there before.

“Yes, I think I am in love with him,” she sniffled in despair. “But I have made a dreadful mess of things and now I shall never see him again. Even if I did see him, he would never forgive me for running off on him the way I did.”

Before Colette could respond to her teary confession, the door to the sitting room swung open and her husband entered. Juliette hastily stood up and wiped her eyes as Lucien looked askance at her. Juliette and Lucien never had the easiest of relationships. She thought he was too rigid and he thought she was too reckless.

Colette smiled at Lucien as he came and gave her a kiss.

“If you both would excuse me,” Juliette said as she made her way to the door. “I should go spend some time with Lisette and the girls.”

“There is no need to leave on my account,” Lucien said easily. “I stopped in only to say good-bye. I’m on my way out for the day.”

Juliette shook her head. “Lucien, I want to apologize to you for all the worry and trouble I caused you as well.” She hurried out of the room.

Sitting on the arm of her chair, Lucien took Colette’s hand in his. “What was that all about?”

“She didn’t want you to see her crying.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he said. “Did you find out anything more from her?”

Colette nodded silently, thinking that her sister had created a fine mess, indeed. “Yes, I did.”

“Well, are you going to tell me?” he coaxed.

She gave her husband a funny smile. “It seems our Juliette is in love.”

“Ha!” Lucien laughed out loud. “I don’t believe it!”

“Well, you had better believe it, because Juliette is in love with none other than your friend Captain Fleming.”

Shock registered on Lucien’s handsome face. “You are not serious!”

“I am not jesting.”

Her husband stared at her in disbelief. “I just never would have put those two together. Poor Harrison!” He shook his head.

“Poor Juliette!” Colette added.

“You might be right at that. Harrison is not the marrying type.”

Colette gave him an arch look. “Well, he proposed to Juliette.”

With a surprised expression on his face, Lucien stammered, “Harrison wants to marry Juliette? Then why did she come home without him?”

Amused by his obtuseness, she grinned at him. “You have a very short memory, Lucien.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Love is not always an easy path,” she explained patiently. “They are both in love with each other, but both are too stubborn to admit it.”

“Is he aware of Juliette’s feelings?”

“I don’t know.”

Finally catching on, he said, “Ahh…And now he’s in New York and she is here.”

“Yes. I’m not sure how they will solve this one.”

Lucien shook his head again. “Juliette and Harrison? Who would have thought? It’s funny. Even though they both denied any feelings for each other, I had always expected to see Juliette and Jeffrey end up together.”

Colette had thought that as well. She loved Jeffrey dearly and would have been thrilled to have him as her brother-in-law.

His dark green eyes intent, Lucien said thoughtfully, “Now that I think about it, Harrison and Juliette are perfect for each other. He is a good man and strong enough to handle her. And she could never complain of being bored while she was with him.”

Colette squeezed his hand. “Oddly enough, I was thinking the same thing. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it while Captain Fleming was staying with us. It seems so obvious now.”

“Well,” Lucien said, “what will they do?”

“I think it would help if we brought the two of them together.”

Lucien raised his brows. “Are you suggesting that we send your sister back to New York?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “At least we could send her there properly this time, with our blessings and an appropriate chaperone. The alternative is that she is miserable and remains here pining over him.”

Lucien grimaced. “I don’t believe I could bear a miserable Juliette pining away. I’ll see what I can do. I think I’ll have a little chat with our friend Jeffrey as well. I’m sure he knows more to this story.”

“He must. He saw the two of them together.” Colette paused. “You don’t think…You don’t think Jeffrey is hurt by this do you?”

“I couldn’t say and if he were, I doubt he’d tell me. He is rather tight-lipped about matters of the heart. But I will talk with him,” Lucien continued, “if only to see what he has to say on the matter of Harrison and Juliette.”

“Thank you,” Colette whispered tilting her head up to kiss him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“It is so wonderful to have you back home. I know I’ve said it before, but we did miss you terribly, Juliette,” Lisette said, as the last of the customers left Hamilton’s Book Shoppe.

“I missed you most of all,” Yvette said, with an emphatic toss of her blonde head.

Paulette nodded in agreement, “Even
I
missed you.”

“Because you had no one to annoy you?” Juliette responded with a laugh.

“No, I missed annoying
you
!” Paulette said gleefully, as she returned a book to its rightful place on the shelf.

The five sisters had spent the day together working at the bookshop, something they had not done for some time. Juliette made a special point of visiting the family store. She had detested working there while she was growing up and had wanted nothing more than to leave and never see the infernal shop again.

She had left and now that she was home she wanted desperately to see it once more.

Since Colette had married Lucien, and certainly since she had her baby, she did not work in the store every day, but had hired a manager to operate the day-to-day business, while she oversaw everything. The book shop had continued to thrive, becoming more successful under Colette’s supervision and guidance than any of them had ever dared to dream. The beautifully arranged bookstore allowed costumers to browse easily and comfortably, with elegant signs hung with dark green ribbon demarking each section of books. With her unflagging customer service and attention to even the smallest of details, Colette had developed a steady and loyal clientele and a side business selling fine stationery. The women’s reading circle that Colette had begun had grown to over forty members and met bimonthly. It had become one of the most successful book shops in London next to Hatchard’s.

Colette and Paulette still spent more time than any of the sisters at the store, as was always the case. Once they had moved to Devon House, Juliette had rarely set foot inside the shop again, while Lisette and Yvette did so only from time to time. As for the upstairs rooms above the shop, which had been their childhood home, they had all decided to keep their newly redecorated rooms for their private use.

In the shop that afternoon, Juliette looked at everything with a new perspective. She helped customers and wrapped packages. She organized displays and reshelved books. Instead of resenting her unconventional upbringing, she now appreciated all that she had had. After learning the horrific details of Harrison and Melissa’s childhood, Juliette realized just how blessed she was with her life and her family, in spite of all their imperfections. She had grown up safe and well cared for and always knowing she was loved. She had never thought about it that way before.

“And I actually missed hearing you both bicker,” Colette added with a laugh.

“I seriously doubt that!” Paulette retorted pertly.

“New York must have been exciting,” Yvette said with a dreamy air.

“It was,” Juliette readily agreed. “I had quite a wonderful time there.”

“We thought you would be gone for ages, if you came back at all. Why did you return so soon?” Paulette eyed her carefully.

“Because I missed you,” Juliette responded without missing a beat.

“Are you going to go back to New York?” Lisette asked.

Juliette hesitated a moment before answering, “I would like to someday.”

“Yes, but next time you will travel with an appropriate companion and with our consent and knowledge.” Colette declared in a tone that brooked no argument.

Juliette cast her an amused look. “Of course.”
Would there be a next time? Could she bear to return to New York and know she would not see Harrison Fleming?
Juliette did not wish to consider such a possibility. It hurt too much.

“Perhaps you may return sooner than you expect,” Colette said with a sly smile.

Juliette stared at her older sister, wondering what she meant.

“Did you meet any dashing and handsome gentlemen on your trip?” Yvette, the baby of the family, sat upon a stool behind the counter resting her chin on her hand.

“Only you would ask such question!” Lisette said with a laugh.

“Well it is a perfectly reasonable question, Lisette!” Yvette cried hotly in her own defense. “Just because you are practically married to Henry Brooks doesn’t mean the rest of us cannot think about dashing and handsome gentlemen!”

“That’s all you think about, Yvette!” Paulette teased.

Lisette’s face turned a deep shade of pink. “I am not practically married to Henry Brooks! And I would greatly appreciate it if everyone would stop making the assumption that I am.”

“Well, he has been courting you for a year now,” Paulette offered sagely from her perch atop a bookshelf ladder. “What other conclusion are we supposed to draw from that other than an intended marriage?”

“Leave Lisette out of this,” Colette said in a calming tone.

“Yes, we were discussing dashing and handsome gentlemen,” Yvette agreed with an injured air. “
Not
Henry Brooks.”

“Yvette!” Lisette exclaimed indignantly. “That was not very nice!”

Yvette’s eyes grew round as she realized her blunder. “I did not mean that to signify that Henry Brooks was not dashing or handsome, because he is!”

Juliette laughed.
This
was what she missed the most while she was away, the familiar and easy banter between her sisters and the bonds that only they shared. Being with them again lightened the aching heaviness in heart.

“Now, let’s hurry up, girls. I need to get home to Phillip,” Colette announced, and no one argued.

“But Juliette did not tell us if she met any dashing gentlemen or not!” complained Yvette.

“I shall tell you all about it later,” Juliette whispered confidentially to her.

Juliette walked to the front door to turn the “Open” sign to the “Closed” side. Just as she was about to lock the door, a man appeared on the other side of the glass, startling her.

“Jeffrey!” she cried, opening the door for him. The bells jingled as he entered the shop. “You gave me a fright.”

He grinned charmingly, looking his usual handsome self. It seemed he had fully recovered from his miserable bout of seasickness. “It was not my intention to startle you. I just stopped by Devon House and was informed by Granger that all five of the lovely Hamilton sisters were here at the shop. So of course, I hurried right over.”

“We were just speaking of dashing and handsome gentlemen…And here you are.” Juliette laughed lightly for she was truly happy to see him again. After some intense conversations on board the
Oceanic
, they had mended their temporary rift and now things were as they should be between them. And for that she was profoundly grateful. “Well, we are delighted that you decided to join us!”

Colette hugged him warmly. “It’s so good to have you home again, Jeffrey.”

“It’s very good to be here, I must admit,” he said. He greeted each sister in turn, lavishing them with his winning smile. “Ah, here is my sweet Lisette. She has not changed a bit. Oh, but I think my thoughtful little Paulette has grown taller. And, of course, I could never forget the most beautiful of all, Yvette, who has become even prettier in my absence.”

Paulette and Lisette cast him indulgent looks, more than used to Jeffrey’s effusive compliments, but Yvette stared at him with adoring eyes.

“Why, thank you, Lord Eddington,” Yvette whispered softly, her fourteen-year-old face awash in admiration.

“You are most welcome,” he bowed gallantly.

“We were just closing up the shop and going to return home for supper,” Colette explained. “Would you please join us at Devon House this evening?”

“Yes, of course,” he said with his usual charm. “How could I refuse an invitation to dine with all five of my favorite women?”

Jeffrey gamely offered to allow the younger girls to ride with him in his carriage and was rewarded by their squeals of delight at being given such a rare treat, while Colette, Lisette, and Juliette rode home in their usual coach emblazoned with the Sinclair family crest.

At Devon House that evening, supper was an informal affair with just the family gathered.

While they sat at the long dining room table, Juliette thoughtfully observed the faces of the people she loved: her four sisters of course, Jeffrey, Lucien, and his parents, Simon and Lenora, whom she had grown incredibly fond of over the past year. Lenora Sinclair had been the most sympathetic to Juliette upon her return.

Juliette only hoped her own mother would be as understanding when she finally saw her again, but knowing Genevieve all too well, she doubted it. She had written her mother a long letter that very morning, explaining her actions as best she could. Whether her mother would forgive her or not was now out of her hands.

But this group seated around the table, she loved with all her heart.

In spite of her longing for Harrison, Juliette felt surprisingly calm. That urgent sense of suffocation and restlessness she had experienced for as long as she could remember no longer plagued her. She was happy to be home and happy to be with her family again, even though she wanted to cry for missing Harrison. It was the strangest sensation and she could not explain it.

“Juliette is unusually quiet this evening,” Lucien remarked as their food was served.

She glanced up at the sound of her name and caught her brother-in-law’s green eyes. He smiled at her. Juliette said nothing.

“What is this?” Arching one brow, Lucien teased her. “No witty reply?”

“She has only been home a few days. Perhaps she is still tired from traveling,” Lenora Sinclair suggested in a soothing manner.

“No,” Paulette added pensively. “Juliette seems rather sad to me.”

Staring at her sister, Juliette did not know what to say. She
was
sad. Incredibly sad. Sadder than she had ever been. As they cavalierly discussed her mood as if she were not there, it occurred to her that she had not missed
this
particular aspect of family life.

“Maybe she would like to take another trip to New York.” Colette gave her a pointed look, her eyes dancing.

“Yes, I daresay that might cheer her up,” Lucien agreed in a rather jovial tone.

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, she shot an accusatory glance at Jeffrey for good measure. Juliette finally spoke up. “What is going on here?”

“Nothing,” Colette said innocently. “Nothing at all. We were just thinking that you might like to return to America for a while.”

“Sss–sounds like you are trying to g–get rid of her,” Simon Sinclair, the Marquis of Stancliff and Lucien’s father, declared loudly from the opposite end of the table. He had somewhat recovered from a paralyzing illness that had ravaged his ability to speak and move freely two years ago, but he was still weak. All the women in the house doted on him, especially Juliette.

“Yes, it does, does it not?” Juliette asked, grateful for the elderly man’s bluntness.

“Oh, Juliette cannot leave again!” Yvette cried in dismay from her highly prized seat beside Jeffrey. “She only just came back home and we are finally all together again.”

“We are not trying to send her away,” Lucien explained calmly. “We are simply offering her an opportunity to return if she so desires.”

“Well, she does not wish to return to New York. She is home for good, are you not, Juliette?” asked Yvette.

Juliette, her stomach tied up in a knot, looked between Lucien and Colette and knew her sister had told her husband all about her romantic involvement with Harrison Fleming.
Were they suggesting that she return to Harrison?
And more importantly, did she wish to go to him?

“Juliette does wish to go back to America.” Once again her sister Paulette summed up her situation with her keen insight. Either that or she had been listening in on her conversation with Colette the other day. One could never be entirely sure with Paulette.

The door to the dining room opened.

Granger, the Devon House butler, entered the room. “Excuse me, Lord Waverly?”

“What is it, Granger?” Lucien asked.

“I apologize for the intrusion, but a visitor has just arrived and wishes to speak to you privately,” Granger explained with a meaningful look. “He says it is an urgent matter.”

“Please excuse me for a moment,” Lucien said to them, as he rose from his chair. “I shall see what the problem is.”

Juliette’s head spun wildly with the knowledge that Colette and Lucien were providing her with an opportunity to return to New York. In actuality she would not be just returning to New York, but to Captain Harrison Fleming, and they knew that. Her heart raced at the idea of being with him again. If she could leave tonight, she would! It all seemed so simple now. She would just go back to him.

“You are going to go, aren’t you?” Lisette said softly.

Juliette nodded hesitantly, knowing her decision would sadden her sisters. She looked at Colette as she said, “Yes, I might be going at that.”

A sudden seed of hope blossomed within her. If she went back to New York, to New Jersey, to Fleming Farm just to be with Harrison, perhaps he would forgive her for refusing to marry him and running away. Even if he were not pleased with her return, she had to make the effort. She could not spend the rest of her life knowing she did not at least take the chance to find out. If she could be with Harrison again, all would be worthwhile.

“Oh, no, Juliette,” Yvette wailed. “You cannot leave us again.”

Lenora suggested kindly, “She is not leaving you, Yvette. You must not look at it that way. However, you must allow your sister to live her life the way she sees fit.”

“Maybe we could all go with her?” Paulette suggested, always looking at the positive side of things.

Jeffrey remarked, “That’s good thinking, Paulette.”

“I just don’t understand why she has to go anywhere when it’s perfectly lovely right here.” Yvette pouted, stabbing at the food on her plate with her fork.

“You will understand some day,” Jeffrey consoled her with a charming smile. Yvette beamed in adoration.

The door to the dining room opened again and Lucien walked in. He had an odd expression on his face and looked directly at Juliette. “It seems we have an unexpected visitor joining us for dinner this evening.”