Desires (23 page)

“Aren’t you bothered about others seeing you naked?” Stacie
needed to ask.

“I was at first…I always think the first time is the
worst. It was something I’d always been intrigued about, but never had the guts
to actually do. I was nervous as hell. But no…not now…I enjoy it. I love the
fact we can wander around Desires in as little clothing as we like without
people staring strangely and thinking it’s disgusting. But you were very brave
to go in the orgy room on your first weekend.” Chrissie said. “It took me about
three times coming here before we went in there.”

“It took quite a bit of Dutch courage. I did hesitate,
but decided I cannot and will not allow my ex to control me anymore.”

“Many people wouldn’t achieve what you have.”

Chrissie looked over at Dan, who was sitting chatting to
Jason. She lowered her voice. “So, is Dan to your satisfaction?”

Stacie leaned in and replied likewise. “You could say
that, he’s so amazing and understanding. I’ve known him a day and he understands
exactly what I need. I spent a good number of years with my ex and he never
truly knew me.”

“Well, he just wanted to manipulate you. He was
evidently not remotely interested in your pleasure or happiness. You’re a very
beautiful woman and I honestly thought you and Dan were a couple—you both
looked so amazing together.”

Stacie gazed at Dan as Chrissie spoke. Dan looked at her
and smiled. His eyes overpowered her.

“Yes, but he can never be mine,” Stacie said when Dan
turned back to resume his conversation with Jason.

“Would you have him?”

Stacie kept staring Dan, her body vibrating to his
presence, feeling the urge to hold him tight in her arms and have him make
passionate love to her.

“Yes, I would. But he has to be nice to me, don’t you
think. I am paying for him after all. It’s not real.”

“It’s true that you’re paying for his time, but you can’t
help who you fall in love with. I see something in his eyes when he looks at
you. If you and he are meant to be together it will happen. I am a great
believer in things happening for a reason,” Chrissie said softly.

Stacie stared at Dan. He glanced at her and sent her a
little smile. “He’s gorgeous,” Chrissie whispered in her ear.

“Yes…yes he is…”

Chrissie moved closer to Stacie so her voice could be
heard quietly at her ear. “Does he make your knees go weak?” Stacie nodded.
“Does he make your heart skip beats?”
Nod.
“Does he hit all the right spots?”

“He certainly does.”

“I’m guessing you signed the contract?”

“Yep!” Stacie fervently wished she could hold that
document in her hands right now and rip it to shreds.

“Between me and you, what the fuck is in that contract?
Who’s to stop you and him getting together outside this place?”

Stacie paused for a long time. “Nothing, I guess,” she
said, not wanting to look at Dan. Unbidden thoughts raced around her mind, them
out together, like a real couple…going back to her flat, undressing him, him
working his magic.

“Did you sign before you saw him, and discovered just
what a fantastic man he is in all departments?” Chrissie said.

“I did, and no I never clapped eyes on him before the
signature…bloody hell—”

“What?”

“My stomach aches,” Stacie said. Her tummy felt like
there was an entire
tentful
of butterflies in there,
and her heart galloped.

“Love is amazing, isn’t it?”

“I’ve never felt this way.”

“Tell him.”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can. Are you going to allow him to get
away?”

Stacie felt more confused than ever. She stared at
Chrissie, horrified, panicking.

“If you want him, have him, go and get him girl. Life’s
too bloody short to be living with regrets. By the sound of it you’ve done
enough with your ex.” Stacie gazed at Chrissie, her heart beating rapidly.
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you my mobile number, call me sometime. Do you
live locally?” Stacie nodded. “Give me a call and we could meet up and have a
damn good chat. Do you have any close friends?”

“No, not anyone I could pour my heart out to,” Stacie
said, feeling the urge to share her experience with Dan.

“Well you do now. Call me and we’ll arrange to see each
other.” Chrissie scribbled her number on a napkin, and pushed it across the
table at Stacie. Stacie wrote down hers also and gave it to Chrissie, feeling
as if she’d found a friend in the most unlikely place she ever would have
expected.

Chapter Eight

Stacie found it difficult to sleep that night after they
had settled down. The conversation she’d had with Chrissie kept running through
her head. Should she tell Dan about her feelings? She wanted to, but the contract
kept wandering through her mind. “Emotional involvement with your tutor or
tutors is strictly forbidden.” Here she was breaching that very contract. Maybe
it was just the fact that Dan was the first young man to catch her eye and
treat her with respect. He might not even care for her in that way. She might
just be another client to him, someone he had to put up with, and be nice to,
to get his money. Was she making a fool of herself, having her head turned?

Her head ached. Nothing made sense. She sat up in bed
looking down on his sleeping body. He was lying naked. His breathing was calm
and even, no snoring. He looked defenceless and sweet, at peace with no worries
in the world. If only he knew what Stacie was going through, wondering how she was
going to make it through the day.

Stacie sat trying to figure out what to do. She was acting
like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Was that what Dan was? A crush? Or was
he someone who had stepped in after too long putting up with her own company,
moping about her flat feeling sorry for herself. Stacie often listened to sad
songs, and drank alone, cooking an exciting meal for one, having no one to share
her day with. A sane conversation was something she would enjoy, a night in front
of the television, glass of white wine, box of chocolates and a man wrapping
his arms around her keeping her warm, followed by an evening of rampant passion.

Just thinking about how lonely she really was left Stacie
depressed. She spent all her cash on herself, with no one to lavish it on, which
was probably why she could afford Dan. Okay, she had a nice clean flat, new
car, dressed well, ate for one, shopped for one and lounged around her flat
without a care in world, but her life was empty. Stacie had wallowed in
self-pity long enough, she was determined the experience at Desires would
change her. It certainly couldn’t make things any worse.

When the hands on her watch turned to seven o’clock, she
crept out of bed and headed to the bathroom where she stood scowling at herself
in the mirror.
Get a grip, girl. You’ve
got the opportunity to move on with your life.
She only had herself to
blame for allowing Graham to have so much control over her, and he wasn’t in
her life anymore.

Stacie put her hair into a clip and had a quick shower,
trying to scrub away the worrying thoughts. She went back to the bedroom where
Dan was still sleeping peacefully. She put on her jeans and a fitted T-shirt
then wandered over to the window to open the curtains slightly. The rain hammered
at the desolate garden, making everything look as depressed as she felt.

She closed the curtain and turned to look over to the
dresser. The room key lay next to the phone. She decided to leave Dan in bed
and go downstairs to get some breakfast and a strong cup of coffee. She took
the key and left the room being as silent as possible so as not to wake Dan.
She wandered down the quiet corridor, even the girls on reception were nowhere
to be seen. She headed to the restaurant where they’d had supper last night.
There were a few people sitting and having breakfast so she went in.

She chose a cosy spot in a corner near the open fire and
sat, looking through the menu. There was plenty to choose from, toast,
croissants, a full English breakfast, fruit salad, and scrambled egg, which was
her favourite. Very soon a man came over to her. He was tall and thin, wearing
a white shirt and black trousers.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she replied. “I’ll have the scrambled
egg please, with a cup of coffee.”

“Are you eating alone?” he asked while writing her
choice down.

“Yes.”

“It’ll be about five to ten minutes,” he said, then
left.

Stacie glanced at the other people in the room. She was the
only one alone. Maybe the man thought someone else was coming down, hence the
question.

A few people in the room acknowledged her as she gazed
round, she smiled back at them. The waiter arrived with a tray bearing her cup
of coffee, with a small jug of cream and a bowl of sugar. “Aren’t you the girl
who’s with Dan?” he asked her as he put everything on the table.

“Yes, why?” she asked, arching her eyebrow at the
question. What business was it of his?

“No reason, just wondered.” He walked off leaving her
curious as to why he asked, not that it was any of his business who she was at
the club with.

She prepared her coffee to her liking, then sipped
thoughtfully. When her breakfast arrived, Stacie ate with relish clearing the
whole plate. Evidently, sex was good for the appetite. She felt much better after
she’d eaten something.

Stacie then saw Angel walk in the room, looking more
soberly dressed than she had the night before. In fact, she had to look twice to
make sure it was she.

Stacie watched her standing at the bar, her long black hair
hanging straight down to her shoulders. She was wearing a satin jacket over a
white vest, which she’d teamed with skinny jeans and ordinary black boots. A
chunky gold chain hung round her neck. She looked stunning. Mind you, Angel
would look stunning in a
binbag
. Stacie saw her
looking in her direction. She turned away quickly, pretending she hadn’t
noticed her.

Her heart beat wildly as she stared in the opposite
direction, watching a couple reading a newspaper.

“Good morning, Stacie. May I join you?”

The pit of Stacie’s stomach churned. She turned her head
to see Angel standing before her. Angel looked pretty and almost normal, but
Stacie felt more afraid of her in these clothes than in her PVC.

“Sure.”

Angel folded her long legs into the chair opposite
Stacie. “No Dan?”

Stacie noticed her makeup was very well applied. Her
lips were red and luscious, and her eyes dark with purple eye-shadow. Stacie sat
feeling like a complete mess, no makeup, her hair untidy.

“No, he’s sleeping.”

“So you’re enjoying your own company?”

“I guess so.”

“How are you finding Desires?”

Stacie felt anxious, unsure how she should answer the
question. Angel frightened her. In Stacie’s job she was used to powerful people
who constantly talked down at her. She usually just ignored them and got on
with her job. Angel intimidated her in a different way. She was gorgeous,
powerful and ran Desires. She must need a strong hand, authorising and
commanding all the time. She wasn’t the kind of person to get on the wrong side
of. As she pondered her answer, the waiter brought Angel a cup of black coffee.
His manner was anxious and deferential, with none of the almost insolent
impertinence he had shown Stacie.

“It’s different,” Stacie said, when the waiter had gone.

“It certainly is, thank goodness, or I’d be out of a
job! Dan tells me you are doing very well.”

Stacie took a sip of her own coffee, feeling her chest
tightening, thinking about the performance in the reception area last night, which
Angel had seen.

“I’m really pleased to hear that,” she added.

“Even after yesterday?”

“You mean that whole thing with James? I wouldn’t worry
about it. We’re all entitled to our own opinions. Personally, I was more bothered
about what he said to Dan. He shouldn’t be judging Dan’s fantastic work.” Now
that comment Stacie certainly couldn’t argue with. “I don’t accept that
behaviour, especially when it involves someone who works here. If Dan was bad at
his job then I would have certainly looked further into the situation, in
private, but as I know Dan is amazing then I don’t have to. James was badly in
the wrong. If anything, he needs to be examining his own attitude.”

“Do you actually run this place then?”

“Yes. The people who come here have been coming for
years and I enjoy seeing the same people as well as meeting new people. My
mother used to run it. Now, she just sits in the back and watches me run around
screaming the orders which amuses her! I enjoy being in charge, maintaining Desires’
good reputation. And I love bossing people about,” she said, laughing.

“I bet. Have you been running it long?”

“About four years. When my mother used to run it, I
spent quite a few weekends here watching her and occasionally having the odd
dabble.”