Desperately Entwined (Touched By You 8) (4 page)

The heavy pulses of Tanner’s cock shattered Natalie, and she fell into
potent waves of climax. She screamed in a high-pitched tone, like a woman in pain, and he poured his cum into her. He panted and groaned, letting go inside her, letting his orgasm sap every ounce of his strength.

Natalie’s orgas
m was long and hard, giving release as welcome as the air itself. She gasped for breath, and felt her muscles turn to mush. Tanner’s body slumped and she braced her weight with one hand on the railing. With the other she reached back, placing her palm on the back of his head, pressing him close. He stroked her hair, not needing to speak, only wanting to savor the feeling.

Natalie met with her attorney and approved moving her company under the umbrella of Clarke Luxury. There were a few snags that h
e helped her work out. Now that she fully understood the details of the agreement, she was satisfied. In fact, more than satisfied, fully aware of what Tanner had given her with this arrangement. He’d given her the life she really wanted. Well, almost.

If she parted with Tanner on a personal level, he
r company was still secure. But it would certainly be awkward to continue business as usual. She’d have to deal with him personally, with her company so tightly linked with his, whether they were a couple or not. It would be unbearable. She tried not to think about it.

It seemed Tanner could commit to long term arrangements on a physical lev
el. He had no inclination to end their sexual relationship. He was comfortable buying a home for them, and even making her company permanently part of his.

But emotionally, she wasn’t sure. He’d told her he loved her, and continued to tell her so. His actions showed, time after time, how much he cared. He endeavored to keep her safe, happy, and near him. Was it just so he could possess
her as he wished? Could there ever be more?

For a long time
, Natalie had been content having Tanner on any terms. She loved him, and couldn’t face life without him. She surely didn’t want him to feel trapped. She loved him for who he was. Although life had been abundant in material things, thanks to Tanner, she’d love him no matter his status in life. She loved him. But did he love her –
that way
?

She didn’t know. For the first time, she admitted that she cared and wasn’t sure she could go on and on, never knowing if
he would make their relationship permanent. Yes, for better or for worse, that’s how she felt, being honest with herself.

Never
, would she express those feelings to Tanner. He either wanted it, or he didn’t. The beauty of the binding of two souls together through life had to come from the heart. She knew that, beyond a shadow of a doubt. There was nothing more she could do except give her love unconditionally, which she had, since the day she’d met him.

She pushed
back the fear of him leaving, knowing that somewhere in her subconscious it was linked to her own father abandoning her. She’d never had any male stability in her life. Now her security rested with Tanner, and she’d trusted him with it.

Could she hope for more? Did she have a right to? If only their romance
could lead to the ultimate commitment to each other. Yet, she had more than she probably deserved already, and forced her thoughts back to the present, back to business.

The transition of Natalie Baker Designs was a fairly quick process. Clarke Luxury Brands was well-staffed, and
promptly took over management. It took a while for Natalie to turn everything over to the new team. She met the new CEO, Brandon Sherwood, and was confident in his qualifications. He introduced her to the other staff, and operations rolled along.

Before Natalie could get back to designing, Tanner announced
they were returning to London. He seemed relieved that she no longer had to work extended hours, and the earlier stress from her demanding career had abated. He was able to get away from his company for a while without concern. Under the new structure he’d created at Clarke, his management team had the daily operations under control.

They spent the last night at their penthouse, since they hadn’t yet moved into their new home.
Sara fixed a light meal and they sat on the terrace drinking a bottle of wine, enjoying the outdoors. The weather was pleasant, and Natalie never tired of the expansive view, high above the city.

The next
morning on their private jet to London, they had plenty of time to talk and Natalie took the opportunity to do so.

“So what kind of house are you looking for in London?” She asked.

“Oh, something huge, opulent and obscenely expensive,” he laughed.

“No
really.”

“Yes
really. Why do you think I’m kidding? There are a lot of estates available. We’ll take a look and see what we like. I want to have a home in London, like I do in Milan and Paris. Now that we’re together, I’ve decided we should be comfortable and not have to stay in a hotel.”

His words “now that we’re together”
emotionally impacted her. We’re together, but for how long? When her eyes dropped, Tanner wondered what was wrong.

“Aren’t you happy to be going to London? Don’t you want to buy a home there?”

She didn’t answer.

“We don’t have to go crazy. If you prefer something smaller, I’m okay with that. But I think when you see what’s available you might change your mind.”

Still no answer.

“What happened? Where did you go, baby?”

“It’s not that. It’s not about buying a house,” she said.

“What then?”

Natalie dragged her feet, reluctant to tell him how she felt. She didn’t want to ruin their time together. She looked up at Tanner, and felt his love. There was no question of it. The look in his eyes said it all. But it made her feel worse.

Tanner reached out and took her hand in his. “Tell me. You can tell me,” he said.

“It’s silly….probably. It’s just that…I get scared sometimes,” she said in a low voice.

“About what?
I’ll protect you,” he offered.

She smiled, but just barely, “I know you will. But what if you aren’t here?”

“What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t I be here? We just arranged everything so we don’t have to be apart.”

“Yes, I know. But what if you didn’t want to be here?”

“Now you’re talking crazy. That’s just not going to happen. You are my life. I crave you beyond reason, and that won’t stop. What’s got you worried?”

“Like I said, you might think it’s silly,” she said.

“It’s not silly, if you’re worried about it.”

Once she got started, Natalie couldn’t hold back the flood of
fears, she’d thought were long ago buried in her subconscious.

“My father abandoned us. Why wouldn’t you? You don’t even have anything holding you. I never understood why he left. I still don’t. What was wrong with us? My mother loved him, truly she did. And
his own daughters….how could he not…. care about Jazzy….or me?

How could he just walk out? If he could do it, then it could happen anytime
, because that happened for no reason and never made any sense. So, it doesn’t have to make sense for a person to walk out on you, even a person with a close relationship, even family. It happens without warning, and there’s no way to avoid it.

Loving doesn’t make the difference. We all loved him. Maybe he didn’t love us. If he did, he had a poor way of showing it. I just get so scared, Tanner. It’s all great with us now, and I’m happy about that, more than I can even express. But can you imagine what will happen to me when you leave…
if you leave?

Someday it might be over, and I don’t know when that day will be
. It could come today or tomorrow, or maybe not for months or years. There’s no predicting, just like with my father. If you left me….I’d just….I wouldn’t survive it. I wouldn’t,” she said with tear-filled eyes.

Tanner squeezed her hand, and wiped her tears with his fingers. “Baby, baby,” he said. “You are worrying about nothing. I’m not like your father. I’m a different person. I ha
ve no intention of leaving you.

It’s my life’s mission to care for you. I only want your happiness. Nothing could dr
ive me from you. Whether that is good or bad, I know…if I know anything… that I’m not capable of leaving you. I want you more than life itself.

Quite bluntly, I wouldn’t want a life without you in it. The money, the business,
all of it means nothing without you. You know that, don’t you? You
must
know that,” he said soothingly.

Natalie lifted his hand in hers and kissed it. “You are good to me. I knew you’d say something like that, and I hesitated to tell you. But you understand how I feel, don’t you?”

“Of course, any young girl left by her father will have a fear of abandonment. It a feeling I understand. I just don’t want you to torment yourself. Have a little faith in me.

I have the same
insecurity, though I don’t mention it. I don’t really think about it. But since we are talking about this, I have a similar past. Remember, I was an orphan. My father didn’t leave us, although it would have been better in our case if he had. He didn’t behave like a father should, which is equally bad, or was for me, anyway. He didn’t love us; I know that.

And my mother died when I was only a boy, leaving me alone in the world. I may not remember everything, but I’ll never forget how lost I felt. What was I to do, a child on his own, su
ffering the loss of his mother? I loved her so much. Fortunately, my life was saved by William when he adopted me.

That doesn’t make me forget that his kind action was the only thing that stood between me and life in an orphanage. Why do you think I work so hard with my foundation to help parentless children? I can’t stand the thought of other young children facing a similar fate with no one to rescue them. I was born poor and lost my mother, which made my chances about equal with any orphan in this
world.

Sure, deep inside I’m afraid
….of being alone, I guess….being adrift. I work hard at Clarke Luxury. I value what I was given, knowing what it means for me and those I love. But more than that… I have you now.

I love you, so very much. Words don’t
do justice to the depth of my feeling. I know it took me a long time to express how I felt. But I felt it from the beginning. The first time I saw you. And it will never go away. Nothing can take that away.”

Natalie’s heart wrenched. The memory of Tanner, suffering the loss of his mother, poor and alone, was just too sad. He knew what it was like to have security ripped from under you. He was a good
man as she’d always known. Sure he had issues that made it hard for him, just like it made it hard for her, but she did need to have faith.

She scooted onto his lap, wrapped her arm over his shoulder, and leaned her head against his chest. “Tanner, your love means everything. I do have faith. I do.”

“We’re not that different…in our hearts, we are one. There will never be another woman for me. You’ve ruined me for any other,” he said.

Natalie wondered at his statement. That was a
commitment of sorts, wasn’t it?

She
felt reassured. She’d just have to quit worrying about the future.

“I love you, Tanner,” she whispered. “So much, it hurts.”

Natalie had missed London, and was pleased to be back. The prospect of scouting for a home in
vigorated her. Tanner was right; there were many possibilities. There was a home next to the green spaces of Hyde Park with a double-height conservatory, a music room, and two reception rooms. Then there was a modern one in Notting Hill, complete with solar panels, rain harvesting, and thermal insulation.

Others included a charming Georgian house,
superbly situated on one of Kensington’s finest gardens; a rare and elegant townhouse on St. James Place, newly refurbished complete with original paneling and shutters; and an immaculate property in Belgravia Square which included a passenger lift to all floors, a roof garden at first floor level, a gym and a cinema.

Luxury home prices had dropped when the real estate market crashed. B
ut high-end homes in London had recovered, and Natalie could see that whatever they chose would cost more money than she cared to think about. Tanner didn’t want to hear about price. He just wanted a location convenient to the office, or reasonably so, and a home they liked enough to call their own.

The
stunning French provincial two-story home on Park Lane was composed of three generous suites, including a vast master suite. The delightful conservatory attached to the master suite, which could be used for a greenhouse or sunroom, won Natalie over. She’d never seen anything like it. The spacious reception room had views over a private garden, and fountains accented the side yard.

She knew it was perfect the moment she stepped inside, and Tanner knew it when he saw her face light up.
They spent a long time in the master suite, discussing endless ideas about what they could grow in the greenhouse. Tanner was pleased that it was in London, convenient to the office. And Natalie was pleased that it was so homey. The agent was pleased that it was at the top end of properties for sale in London, and Tanner would pay cash.

Natalie was so tickled she had to text Cheryl, who was still on her honeymoon in Greece. She’d held back from interrupti
ng her private time with Dani. But they’d been away too long and Natalie missed her.

Cheryl was quick to reply, very happy to hear from Natalie. She had no idea they were in London, and replied that
the new house sounded like a smart choice. She texted in short notes that she and Dani had started their honeymoon in Santorini, one of the most idyllic of the Greek islands, at a cliff-top villa, with black and red sandy beaches along shimmering blue sea.

They’d finally ventured out for some sightseeing, starting with
the Acropolis. She raved about the wine and the food, and promised to call as soon as she got home, although it wouldn’t be for a while.

It was so good to chat with
Cheryl, however briefly. Certainly, she was having a wonderful honeymoon and was madly in love with Dani. But an unwelcome tinge of envy surfaced again. Natalie couldn’t be happier for Cheryl. Yet, it seemed like everyone, but her, was on a honeymoon or had been. She knew she was exaggerating, but it felt that way.
Oh well, that’s just the way it is
.

And the next moment she was back into the excitement of the new London home. Tanner was pleased, and that made her feel good.
They celebrated with dinner at Rhodes Twenty Four, directly overlooking the Gherkin and out across the South Bank.

With its floor-to-
ceiling windows, it offered a view of the British capital. The smart, modern décor of the spacious, bright dining room catered to business diners as well as foodie types attracted by the celebrity chef, Gary Rhodes. The menu was full of comforting British favorites done in Rhodes style with precision and elegance.

The pan-
fried trout and cauliflower soufflé went well with the 2007 Bordeaux from Chateau Grand Villages. And they splurged with warm chocolate pudding for dessert. Wanting to extend the meal, they stayed for an after-dinner espresso.

The entire time,
Tanner talked about London and the interior designer he was going to hire before they left. She’d redo the home so it would be ready for them on their next trip to London. No more hotels. He talked about their new home in New York, and his plan to visit their country cottage before going home. He talked about cars, wine and fashion.

He was more involved with Natalie’s creations now, and his excitement about merchandizing her fashions surprised her.
She already felt so much better being able to focus on fashion design, leaving the business details to those more equipped to handle them.

He was just so relaxed, and so himself. Natalie wanted to hang onto the
mood, but Tanner was finally talked out. They headed back to Lanesborough Royal Suite, in the heart of London across from Hyde Park.

As soon as Tanner shut the door to their suite, he pronounced, “I have something for you.”
He pulled a velvet jewel bag from the pocket of his jacket and handed it to her.

She loosened the gold drawstrings, and pinched out a tiny gold charm. “Tanner, it’s beautiful.” She held a tiny charm of Christ the Redeemer.

“To go on your charm bracelet,” he said, as if she might not know, “as a memory of our trip to Rio.”

Natalie had no idea why her eyes filled with tears. There was something about how he said that, and the thoughtfulness o
f the gift, his timing. Tears gushed down her cheeks.

“Tanner….Tanner…,” she whispered, and fell into his arms. He held her gently, something in his manner conveying a tone she was unfamiliar with. There was no harshness
or commanding presence, just some new inner calm, she found both endearing and unsettling.