Destinata (Valguard) (7 page)

“Well maybe if you told someone what was going on they could. Maybe just maybe…”

“No Ford! I can’t. End of story. Look I’m sorry, I really am happy to see you. I’ve missed you but can we just forget this morning happened?”

“Yea sure Char, just pretend nothing happened.”

Sarcasm was dripping from his tone but she knew he would drop it now. He would do anything she asked him to, he always had and he always would.

They made their way home, this time forgetting the umbrella, they were soaked to the bone already and erecting the metal and plastic shelter wasn’t going to help that now. They walked in silence both hoping the other would cave, both knowing they were as stubborn as each o
ther and neither would give in. When they reached the metal gate Charlie stopped, the pain of leaving Ford to deal with his sisters ranting on his own evident on her face.

“You’re not coming?”

“No, I need to speak to Zane.”

“The neighbor?
You’ll speak to him but you won’t speak to me? You’ve know him what five minutes! You’ve known me your whole life Char.”

“I know, it’s just…”

“Complicated. Yea I get it. See ya later Charlie.”

“Bye.”

Ending rather meekly and hoping that he wouldn’t say anything to Eloise, Charlie veered off to the left making for Zane’s front door.

When all the banging and yelling in the world didn’t get Zane’s attention in the big house, she decided that he wasn’t home and her hopes in finding out what was going on with her eye
s before her housemates saw her was a lost cause.

Shit! I can’t go home like this.

She wished she had thought to get Zane’s number from him so she could at least text to find out where he was. It was too late for regrets now though, she would just have to try and sneak inside her house and hope that her housemates were too preoccupied with Ford’s sudden appearance to notice anything out of the usual. Reaching her front gate, she suddenly had a better idea. She could go see Kara, she would know what was going on and even better, now that Charlie had had the thought, Kara would know that she was on her way and make sure she was home for her granddaughter.

God, Kara, if you can see this, hear this, whatever. Please, please be home.

Running through the forest was easy this time, it was almost as if she could sense where the tree roots jutted out and the stones were partially hidden. Completely able to avoid almost all the obstacles in her way with ease she made it to Kara’s in r
ecord time. The door stood ajar, swaying in the breeze and as Charlie inched forward she could here faint voices in the distance.

“Jaramm won’t harm her. He wouldn’t dare, he knows what the consequences would be.”

“He practically stalked her yesterday Kara, I wouldn’t be so sure of what he is capable of.”

“Remember who you are talking to boy.”

“Your sight isn’t always perfect Kara. You know that as well as I do. It only takes one change of heart or mind to change the future.”

“Yes and I can see for the near future that isn’t going to happen, you have nothing to… Ah your dear Charlie is here. Come on in Charlotte, eaves dropping is rude.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t… I was just…”

“You were just eaves
dropping, yes we know that part already. Now what is so urgent that you needed to call me out of a vision… Oh! My dear, you have had your first proper vision haven’t you.”

It wasn’t a question.

“How did you… Of course you know, you know everything.”

“Not everything, no.
In this case the only reason I know that you have had one is your eyes. They’re glowing.”

“So I was told. Why?”

Charlie wasn’t so sure that she wanted to know the answer to her question but she asked it anyway. She needed to know whether it was going to go away. If it didn’t, how on earth was she supposed to go home?

“You are half
Valguard, did you never stop to wonder whether your eyes would glow as theirs did one day?”

Kara held up a hand and silenced her before she could answer the question, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply for a few more minutes before speaking again.

“Your Valguard attributes seem to be tied somewhat to your psychic abilities. As far as I can see, your eyes will settle soon enough but with every vision they will become more and more prominent until such time that they will no longer return to normal. Don’t worry, you have enough time before that happens.”

She knew that Kara was telling her she would have enough time to explain what was going on to Ford – at the very least – before her eyes would permane
ntly glow the bright shade of blue that she could now see in one of the many mirrors that adorned Kara’s walls.

“Charlie, what happened today?”

It was apparent that Zane still wasn’t happy with her for running off this morning but she couldn’t deal with that right now, she needed to talk about what had happened in the Town Hall first. She would deal with him later.

“I went to the Town Hall…”

“Like I told you not to.”

“Yes, I went to the Town Hall,
like you told me not to!
And once inside, I reached for a door handle and I.. I… I don’t know really. I was sick all of a sudden. I was retching and sweating and then I couldn’t hear anything, it was like a tornado was spinning around me and then… Then I saw my mom in her cell, she’s wasted away to practically nothing Zane. The Mayor grabbed me, he hurt my arm, and when I turned I saw Ford… He was dead and then everything went black.”

She left out the part where she was crying hysterically and retching again after the vision, they didn’t need any more insight into her moment of weakness.

“Who’s Ford?”

“I tell you that my
mom is wasting away to nothing, I had my first vision and a
friend
died in that vision, and the first question you ask is Who’s Ford?”

Zane didn’t respond, instead letting Kara take over the questioning.

“You saw all this in only one vision?”

“I guess, yea, it all happened at once and then I got the hell out of there. Why?”

“Hmm, it seems that your powers of vision are stronger than mine. I only ever see snippets, bits and pieces like a lost dream that I have to put together to make sense of. I’m sorry for what you saw Charlotte but you need to remain unattached as much as possible now. It won’t help you any to break down at every vision. You need to keep your wits about you and decide on the best action to take. Today you were lucky, other days won’t be as easy as this was.”

“She is my mother and she is wasting away to nothing, didn’t you hear what I said? How can I stay
unattached
to that? For that matter, she’s
your
daughter, how can
you
?”

“I learned to become unattached from my daughter a long time ago Charlotte. She has wanted not
hing to do with me these last eighteen years and there was nothing more I could do but become detached to the child I loved so much for so many years.”

“Right.
Well I can’t just switch it off as easy as that. Zane, I’m leaving. I’d prefer it if you would come with me so we can start planning what to do about my mom but I’m not going to force you to come. I will go back myself if I need to.”

“Charlotte, please be careful.”

She looked at her grandmother and gave her a small nod, not bothering to wait and see whether Zane was following her. Back in the rain once again Charlie realized just how cold she had become during the course of the long morning, if she didn’t dry off soon, she would end up sick. She couldn’t afford to have that now, she needed to be at her best to pull of the rescue that was to begin just as soon as she had a plan.

Her thoughts strayed to Ford on t
he walk home. Would he still be around when she eventually returned home? Would he still want to talk to her after this morning’s mess? Had El’ tore him to shreds when he showed his face for the first time in twelve months? The last thought made Charlie giggle. Eloise and Ford had always tormented each other, I suppose being twins it just came naturally for the both of them to be as bad as one another. Suddenly she couldn’t wait to get home and see Ford’s smiling face waiting for her.

“What are you laughing at?”

Oh so Zane had followed her. He was so quiet and light on his feet that Charlie had almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden questioning.

“Huh? Oh, nothing.
Just thinking.”

“Uh-ha.”

She smiled to herself, glad that Zane could not read her mind. Although it would be a handy ability to have, she liked her privacy too much for it to be invaded like that.

They walked the rest of the way home i
n silence, Zane always staying two steps behind and eerily silent. At the end of their street, Charlie could see a figure in the distance and knew immediately who it was. But had he stayed out this entire time waiting for her?

“Ford.”
The whisper meant only for her own ears, reached Zane’s.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Ford

March 17
th

Well
it’s official, I’m leaving town… Finally! With mom dead and dad in jail, I called on the council to ask for permission to leave. They said YES! Can you believe that? I can finally leave this shithole of a town and live a normal life! My only concern is leaving El’ and Charlie behind. Ava will be ok, she’s leaving town as well but El’ refuses to go, she says this is the only home she has ever known, and even though it’s a cruddy one, I can kinda understand.

Charlie and El’ will look out for each other. Hell even Matt will keep an eye out for the two of them. I just can’t shake the feeling that I am losing something important by leaving Char
lie behind. She’s been there for me every step of the way. She’s a year younger than me but anyone would think she was five years older. Her mom got sent to the psych ward about three weeks ago now. Almost everyone in town saw her complete breakdown that day. She was in Mike’s café just having a coffee and then next minute… BAM! She flew off her seat and jumped the counter, I couldn’t believe my eyes but she was trying to choke Mike, screaming about them needing to leave our town and how he ruined her life and that she needed to tell Charlie and everyone else the truth. It was complete madness. I watched her get carted off that day in a strait jacket with the boys in blue. The first thing I did was rush to Charlie, I had to tell her. She needed someone to be there for her and I would be it. Anyway back to the original point, she has always been there for me and I have always been there for her. I just wish I could tell her how I feel before I leave but I know now isn’t the right time with everything that is going on. I don’t want to make things harder than they already are.

You know, I would probably stay if it weren’t for all the crazies in this town. Not many people see it but I do. Half the town is just…weird. They always have been, they walk around even at night and indoors with sunglasses on, they
hardly eat even though half of them own food shops in town. I mean of course they eat but not like we do. They only ever have small amounts. I sometimes wonder if they go home and pig out just like those stick skinny models do because they don’t want to be caught eating everything in sight in public. Who knows! Either way it’s strange. No one is allowed out of town with permission from the more prominent figures in town and anyone who leaves has a hard time coming back or news of something bad happening to them once out always reaches our ears. I know what kind of risk I am taking by leaving town, more than half haven’t survived the first year but I can’t stay here with all the madness, especially after mom…

I just need to do it. I need to get out…

April 29
th

I’m out! After Mikal, Emily and the other council members granted Ava and I passage out of town, they set us up in our own nice little flats in the city. They aren’t anything like the house we lived in back in Tole but
they are more than livable. Hell they even set us up with a job each. I’m now a proud employee at L. C. Jenkins Architects. Maybe they aren’t so bad after all.

Something strange crossed my mind today. I was thinking back to the day I left Tole and I remembered something that suddenly seemed odd to me. On the borders of tow
n as I was leaving, there were two men standing guard. And if that isn’t weird enough in itself I could swear blind their eyes were glowing. I deem myself paranoid and crazy for thinking this. I mean, eyes don’t just glow! And I’ve never even given it a thought before today… Just crazy.

I
miss Charlie and El’ like mad, I even miss Matt a little. Mostly though, I feel guilty for leaving El’ and I miss Char more than I could have imagined. I never realized how much I had leaned on her for everything. I know, I know… Suck it up princess. I just wish I could see her again.

You know, I’ve been thinking about that day that Eva went crazy. I mean I know she was crazy but what did she mean by he needed to tell us and Charlie the truth? Was there even a truth to be told? Eva had always seemed so rational and happy and level-headed to me, I just can’t understand why someone
like that, who had a daughter like Charlie to come home to every day would just go nuts without warning. I suppose you never really know someone…

May 25
th

It’s my birthday.
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me. Yea, blah, blah. I haven’t had the greatest birthday. First work, then I come home to find Ava crying at my front door, something about a boyfriend dumping her. Then I tried to ring El’ and Charlie but no one was home. No missed calls, no messages. Nothing. Just a pity party for one.

Now back to that bad day at work. It was more odd than bad. Some guy came striding straight up to me today and just started chatting away like we were old friends. I asked if I knew him, naturally thinking I had blanked and forgotten ever meeting this guy and he says ‘Ah no, no you never saw me, I didn’t come here ok Ford. OK?” I wanted him out of there so of course I agreed and who the hell would I tell anyway? I have limited friends in the city, the only people I really interact with is Ava and the guys at work and I’m not about to tell them that some strange guy just decided to have a good old chat with me.

And I thought that was the end of that. Apparently I was wrong. I caught the guy following me home! I turned on him in the alley that runs beside my place and pinned him against the wall, though not before he gave me an awesome shiner. He still claimed I don’t know him and wouldn’t give me any answers whatsoever so I taught him a lesson he wouldn’t be forgetting in a hurry and let him go.

That’s when I came home and found Ava. Poor girl just isn’t good with men. She thinks they need nurturing and to a certain extent I suppose we all do but what we don’t need is someone who is going to turn up at work to ‘have a chat’ with the boss about how unfair they are treating us. I mean she has to realize that is going to lose her a boyfriend right?
Apparently not.

I think I might head to
bed, it’s been a long, strange day. I can’t wait for sleep.

June 20
th

Ava’s talking about moving. She doesn’t like living in the city and I’m not so sure that I can stay here without her. At least with her here it feels like home even if it isn’t. She’s been offered a job in some small remote town somewhere and I think she will take it. I haven’t been offered a job and I’m not so sure that I could move away without the security. I mean yea
, I could but I just figured if I ever moved anywhere again it would be as a family. Family being me, Ava and El’ at the least. I still feel guilty over leaving El’ behind. I haven’t heard from her in almost two months. Every time I ring no one answers and I certainly haven’t missed any calls so maybe she isn’t finding being separated as hard as I am.

I haven’t seen the strange guy from my birthday in almost a month. That is until today. He turned up outside my work this afternoon. I don’t think he knows I saw him but he was definitely there, lurking in the shadows being all creepy. I honestly don’t know what his problem is! Maybe he has some
bromance thing going on with me in his head. Who knows. I think I will keep on keeping my distance for now. Maybe I can figure out what he is doing without a confrontation.

Nights are the bane of my existence lately. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes and start to drift off I see those glowing eyes from the day I left town. I wonder why my mind won’t let go of that little fact. I mean, it’s not like I even really remember it. It’s just something that popped into my head one day. Here’s to hoping the images
go away before I end up in the same boat as Eva.

July 4
th

Independence
day! I know that on this day more than any other I am supposed to be grateful for our independence and freedom but I just don’t feel it this year. Independence and freedom are the reason why I am feeling more and more depressed day by day. I don’t like being alone, there is such a thing as too much freedom I think. I’m lonely, more than I could have ever imagined from gaining the freedom I had desired from Tole.

Today something weird happened with the strange guy. He
was watching me from his usual hiding place and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, these two big guys in suits and glasses (yea I know total Men In Black style) came out and just grabbed him. They dragged him into a car with windows so dark I couldn’t see through them at all. I was wondering whether they could see out of them actually. I tried to follow but being on foot I didn’t get too far before losing them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally happy that I won’t have to endure coming out of work and seeing him staring out at me every day anymore but I still hope they haven’t hurt him.

I wonder if the girls miss me as much as I miss them.

September 16
th

I think I might be going crazy. I don’t sleep anymore, I don’t want to eat,
I don’t go to work. (Why I haven’t been kicked out of my apartment for not paying rent yet I have no idea.) Hell I don’t even bother trying to contact Char and El’ anymore. What’s the point? All I ever get now is the engaged signal and they don’t bother ringing me. Or maybe they do and they are getting the same signal. Either way, I have no contact with them anymore.

Ava left just like she said she was going to. She packed up her belongings and moved to some remote town tucked in the
bushland like Tole. Maybe I should just go home. I feel like I need to be there but I just can’t bring myself to go. After eighteen years I finally got out, how can I possibly go back?

November 5
th

I met a girl. She’s completely right for me in all the wrong ways. She doesn’t look like Charlie, she doesn’t sound like Charlie, she doesn’t care like Charlie,
she doesn’t even smell like Charlie. She is as far from Charlie as you can get and yet I still can’t stop thinking about Charlie. Why hadn’t I just told her that I loved her. Maybe she would have come with me. Hell, maybe I would have even stayed with her. Claire is great. She’s loving and beautiful and successful but she just isn’t Charlie. I’ll have to break it off with her I know it; I just can’t face breaking her heart.

Ava rang today. She’s settled in nicely and found herself a steady boyfriend. She says he is… different but wouldn’t say any more than that. Apparently they are coming for Christmas so that we can meet. Let’s hope it lasts that long, considering her track record with relationships isn’t that great, I highly doubt they will make the distance.

I’ve been feeling this strange pulling (for lack of a better word) lately and I can’t explain it any better than that. It’s like something inside me is pulling me towards some unseen force but I can never quite reach it. I feel empty, hollow, homesick… all the time.

December 25
th

As I thought it would, Ava’s new relationship ended before it really even started. We spent Christmas alone in my small apartment. It was nice, nothing special just dinner and drinks. We didn’t even exchange presents this year.
I finally went back to work, I had to, no one can survive without eating and money is an essential part of gaining food to eat. I don’t want to be there anymore but I have to do the right thing and keep myself alive, if for nothing else, for my sisters. They need their brother to look after them, not become the big hulking pile of mess that I was turning into.

This feeling of homesick
is getting ridiculous now. Every day I feel like I don’t belong, like I’m being pulled in the other direction, like I’m not even supposed to be here. If I could just figure out where it is trying to pull me to maybe I could settle the uneasy feeling in my stomach just for a short while.

I’m not making a new year’s resolution this
year, I have nothing that I need to resolve. That’s a lie, I have plenty, I just don’t want to face any of it at the moment.

February 28
th

It’s Charlie’s birthday today. I sent her a card and present last week so it would get there on time but it was returned to me today. The package said ‘Not at this address’. I wondered briefly whether Charlie, El’ and Matt had moved but it was fleeting. I remembered that the place they lived in was Eva’s house. There is no way Char would be forced out of it. Maybe I will surprise them with a visit soon.

I got another call from Ava today. Her and the mysterious boyfriend from last year have rekindled things. The guy must be a glutton for punishment. They’re coming in the next few weeks to visit. Can’t wait.

Still have the strange homesick feeling, but I’m ignoring it as much as possible.

March 26
th

I’m on my way back to Tole. As much as I despise the place, I can’t get through to El’ and I desperately need to talk to her.
Things went from weird to batcrap crazy last week. Ava brought her ‘boyfriend’ (Tony) to meet me finally only when they got there, the man I had heard so much about was my creepy stalker guy. To say it was a tense reunion was an understatement but a few pissing matches and a broken nose later we were getting along like old friends. I let the past lie in the past and we actually got along like a house on fire. That was until they were ready to leave. Ava got real teary while packing her stuff up to go and I swear she was trying to tell me in code that something was wrong. She kept shifting her eyes to Tony and rolling them when I couldn’t understand what she was on about. She excused herself to the bathroom before the long drive home and left Tony and I in a very awkward, uncomfortable silence standing beside the door. On her way out, I saw her discreetly place something on the side table that I kept near the phone but I couldn’t make out what it was. She smiled brilliantly walking towards us, something I know she didn’t do often, and that was the first warning sign. The next wasn’t so subtle. As she neared us, I could see the glisten of tears in her eyes and before I could ask what was wrong Tony had her by the throat. He was rambling on, asking what she had left on the side table but she insisted it was nothing. The next thing I knew, Tony had pulled a knife from god-knows-where and had it held to her throat. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t help. I could see the madness in his eyes and I knew if I made one wrong move she would be dead. As it happens, I didn’t even get to make a wrong move. Within seconds Ava’s throat was slit, the blood pulsing out of her like a fountain, staining my beige carpet forever. Tony ran and I did nothing. I collapsed to my sister’s side, knowing there was nothing I could do to save her. I wiped away the last tear that had escaped from her eyes before closing them and praying for her safe journey to wherever her life would lead her now. I held her hands in mine and when I pulled away I looked down at my own blackened hands. I hadn’t remembered touching anything black, the only thing I had touched was… Ava’s hands. I flipped them over as carefully as I could and saw the words ‘Save El’‘ hastily written in whiteboard marker across her left palm and LC on her right. LC? No idea, I guess she have been testing the pen. The thing she had placed on the side table had been a whiteboard marker from my bedroom.